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215 Following   260 Followers   11,202 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/24/08


Saturday morning vibes. https://t.co/cQAuv0pWIR
11/9
2019
I really don’t understand the appeal of fantasy as a genre.
11/8
2019
@nwolf30 @Starbucks It’s been my holiday drink of choice for 15 years.I don’t care how basic it is, but nothing ushers in the holidays better than a @Starbucks eggnog latte.
11/7
2019
@patmaine Hey! What time are you guys on tonight? Trying to make sure I leave work on time!! @reckless @backlon I’m not sure who’s been covering the smart assistant privacy debacles, but my Echos have recentl… https://t.co/VpU902kayJDon’t follow your heroes on Instagram.
11/6
2019
I’m still impressed with how solid @lorde’s debut album is.
11/4
2019
@SheareMusic @Truman_Black *I say from behind a keyboard, with no present musical accomplishments to speak of* @SheareMusic @Truman_Black Dude, you’ve got a solid sound! Just find your voice and own it. Trust me, I’m far from… https://t.co/QQHg6QlJw5
10/30
2019
@SheareMusic @Truman_Black Same!!So every single part of this song—the instrumentation, chord progressions, vocal style, lyrical cadence—is complete… https://t.co/6uZvScNOXU
10/29
2019
I love people who pretend to love their bad dye job.
10/28
2019
@reckless Plus a headphone jack.
10/25
2019
So, uh, my college roommate may have thrown one of these… https://t.co/jJ56jH7Bat
10/22
2019
“JESUS IS KING” OCT 25th https://t.co/Ug4ghlQYk7
Retweeted by Austin Sabattis
10/21
2019
If you hear someone talking about "wordsmithing," get worried.
Retweeted by Austin Sabattis
10/18
2019
“The most precious resource we all have is time.” - SJ. Remembering you always. https://t.co/nsUUiFzZnz
Retweeted by Austin Sabattis
10/5
2019
Everyone’s a model.
10/2
2019
@leoarcov One day
9/25
2019
Does anyone in NYC not own AirPods?
9/24
2019
I’d rather flatline than get a tattoo of a heart rate line. @_emmamorgan_ #adultEveryone needs to leave me alone today.
9/23
2019
Drunk enough to dance.
9/22
2019
I've never worked on a feature film, but there's no way any movie has been finessed and nitpicked like this 90 second branded video.
Retweeted by Austin Sabattis
9/20
2019
It’s 2019. We can officially stop calling TVs “plasma screens.”Yeezus still holds up. Thank you for the future, @kanyewest.Old people really don’t understand how to use Twitter.
9/19
2019
Fuck. https://t.co/nnc9GVm2LKTurns out it isn’t leather jacket weather in the subway.
9/18
2019
I maintain that @taylorswift13’s "Shake It Off" is just… not good.The ye olde game of, "Will I eat everything I meal prepped this week or light my money on fire instead?"
Retweeted by Austin SabattisI’m procrastinating so hard that I went out of my way to find my phone so that I could procrastinate further by writing this tweet.
9/17
2019
I am so sick of pictures of girls sitting near pools. Like, you’re not even using the pool.Stop saying "leverage" as a verb. It doesn't make you sound any smarter.
Retweeted by Austin SabattisWe’re all capable of being kind to all people.
9/16
2019
@reckless Extremely zoomed-in iPhone photos (even though Deep Fusion doesn’t really yet exist). And some Face ID tests.
9/13
2019
@nwolf30 Oh, it is.Few things are grosser than grabbing a warm subway pole.
9/12
2019
@futurepaul Four years, for sure.I don’t care what the temperature is—the opportunity to wear white pants expired last Tuesday.
9/11
2019
Are people from Alabama proud to be from Alabama? @BenjaminBirdie Is this worth catching up on the last two seasons?To whoever keeps naming scents “crisp linen”: have you ever even experienced linen? Because it certainly doesn’t stay crisp. @BenjaminBirdie See something, say something.I hate when someone wears an embarrassingly bad outfit and I don’t say something. And then I see them again and the… https://t.co/3Z0Ojopikp
9/9
2019
Music about mental health is so hot right now.Few things are more sickening than finance bros casually discussing their professional accomplishments.
9/5
2019
Can we all just admit that some people really are ugly?I am so thankful to have gotten to this point in my life.
9/4
2019
But like, we’re all kind of uncool.
8/30
2019
So this is how Samsung plans to take on iMessage...? https://t.co/KpvmvIMy8HDude, the comments sections of Buzzfeed articles are absolutely wild.
8/29
2019
I am so hooked on @Badflower’s “OK, I’M SICK” right now.Okay but does no one on Instagram ever wipe off their phone camera?Don’t you hate when you can’t tell which is the “before” photo?
8/27
2019
You’re somebody, and that really is awesome.
8/26
2019
I’m only sharing this because I’m not entirely sure how or why I’ve been posting random thoughts on the internet fo… https://t.co/OBc6XfGQOF
8/24
2019
How can all of these garbage @netflix shows be a 95+% match? That’s literally an A or A+.
8/22
2019
Magnets are the closest thing we have to real-life magic.An online form allowed me to select “ATM Owner/Operator” as my current profession, but failed to include an option… https://t.co/a9Z9Jf7NAfNose hair is so weird.
8/21
2019
@austin_apple I’ve been unfollowing people in real life because they told me it was creepy. Who’d a thunk it?
Retweeted by Austin SabattisIt’s remarkable how important Napoleon Dynamite was in the mid-2000s.Love is not a finite resource. It is possible to feel love for all the chicken sandwiches.
Retweeted by Austin SabattisI’ve been unfollowing people on Instagram lately like it’s my job.
8/20
2019
look @ the fyc poster i made not to brag but its pretttty nice right @televisionacad https://t.co/ECG2WbCXu6
Retweeted by Austin SabattisI know this is just a byproduct of my age, but wow is everyone pregnant right now.Looking back on it now, I’ve befriended some absolutely terrible people.
8/19
2019
My go-to email sign-off is "I'm sorry."
Retweeted by Austin Sabattis
8/16
2019
@reckless have you been able to find the closing date for your current Apple Card statement? Because it’s almost de… https://t.co/NgfsIrfzNL
8/13
2019
Just decided to see what my high school math teacher is up to on Facebook and I’m glad to report he seems to be doing well.
8/9
2019
And then remember right now when I can’t remember who half the people in my phone are?Remember when it was cool to have a ton of phone contacts?
8/7
2019
@nwolf30 Yeah, I disagree with all of those, perhaps except the wedding haha.I think I’m going to try busking in the subway sometime...
8/2
2019
Unless someone’s died or it’s their high school graduation, there are zero reasons teenagers should wear ties.Please tell me anyone else saw @CNN’s ridiculously dramatic intro reel for tonight’s #DemDebate.
8/1
2019
Is it just me or are iOS app load times getting ridiculously long? (Looking at you, Twitter.) @BigDataBigData Dude, of course! And no worries—I totally, totally understand. I’ll hopefully see you when you next play in NYC!BIG DATA 3.0 is available now! ⁣ I poured +/- 3 years of my life into making it… researching, writing, procrastinat… https://t.co/tIlk9mfmxX
Retweeted by Austin Sabattis @BigDataBigData Aw, no fun—I’ll just have to repeat the digital tracks endlessly (because the entire album really i… https://t.co/S1W4GdNug7 @BigDataBigData I need a vinyl pressing of 3.0! Can we expect one any time soon?!
7/31
2019
Bar Home Office Airport Temple Church College Mosque Concert Hospital Nightclub Newsroom Pre-school Synagogue Yoga… https://t.co/jYqkAaFWMB
Retweeted by Austin Sabattis
7/30
2019
Dude, high school. What a trip.
7/28
2019
This is just exactly what you need to hear. https://t.co/EED57J2M7QI wonder how many people are on a bad first date right now.
7/27
2019
@HotwireJonathan @AmazonHelp @reddit @amazon As did I. And if they had been expecting a delay for whatever reason,… https://t.co/yjHM68v8Po @verge @cgartenberg this could be nothing, but my preordered Kindle Oasis that was to be delivered today is now ind… https://t.co/cyvo0he1Hm
7/25
2019
@nwolf30 @CrashingHBO @peteholmes @HBO Right?! When watching last night, I not only had no idea it was the last epi… https://t.co/xjS9hVKeugI found out today that I unknowingly watched the final episode of @CrashingHBO last night and am now heartbroken. B… https://t.co/s2sUgLPIrt
7/23
2019
I feel bad that cockroaches get such a bad rap. They’re just trying to live their little cockroach lives.
7/17
2019
Wait, does anyone have arguments in their head that they don’t actually win?
7/16
2019
@TimHerrera But one way I try to slow down is by looking only at the tops of buildings as I walk to work in Manhatt… https://t.co/nUOFXhVoHc @TimHerrera first, thank you—your newsletter today was exactly what I needed to read, and exactly what I need to st… https://t.co/SLrpj1N2A4
7/15
2019
Why can’t people just be more transparent with their feelings?Cats do make very good friends.
7/12
2019
I miss the PS2.
7/11
2019

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