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219 Following   252 Followers   11,312 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/24/08


This is great. https://t.co/DuTgaywLeu
6/3
2020
On the bright side, @pepsi‘s decided to sit this one out. https://t.co/Vf6rcxKcpt
5/31
2020
I literally looked down for a second, looked up again, and 26 minutes had gone by. #quarentine$HiAustin https://t.co/cGtxqy70XN
5/29
2020
@joshwolftweets Hahahaha I forgot about that!! Or when Abed has been writing the study group’s plots a week ahead!Nobody is “too cool” for anything. Because nobody is actually that cool. @joshwolftweets The Beetlejuice one has always been my favorite. It’s a throwaway joke they pay off after several s… https://t.co/eiilVjBEqu
5/28
2020
@joshwolftweets Case in point: https://t.co/0giarB373w @joshwolftweets Community is one of the best shows that’s ever aired.
5/27
2020
Wear a mask. That’s it. That’s the tweet.
Retweeted by Austin Sabattis
5/26
2020
It’s only a matter of time... Our Hamilton film. THIS July 3rd. On Disney+. #Hamilfilm https://t.co/cXTM949hRr
Retweeted by Austin Sabattis
5/12
2020
Retweet if you want a season 2
Retweeted by Austin Sabattis
5/8
2020
@reckless lol https://t.co/7fl8CZebAX
5/6
2020
High-maintenance people put me on edge.
5/2
2020
@futurepaul How will America pull together?!
5/1
2020
Best thing on the internet right now. https://t.co/z6Ses77Nna
4/30
2020
Man, I miss Disney World.
4/29
2020
Shoutout to anyone who still wears retainers (nearly) every night.
4/17
2020
This is remarkably smart. https://t.co/r7asDM2C2x
4/16
2020
If you think about it, everyone else has bad taste.Missing @themaine’s live shows a bit right now.
4/15
2020
For the first time in ages, I’ve somehow had too much coffee and feel like I might actually die.
4/14
2020
We’ve officially entered the Awkward Quarentine Haircut era.
4/9
2020
Never mind, I’m in! @reckless you report on internet stuff. Isolated incident? https://t.co/PlPahiz5yG#Quibi is off to a Disney+ quality start. I have an account, but I don’t have an account. Cool. https://t.co/fCEuMWZ06Y @CashApp Please, send me money $HiAustin
4/6
2020
My toes are both too cold and too warm at the same time?https://t.co/BNlhdsWWLT
Retweeted by Austin Sabattis
4/2
2020
@CashApp $HiAustinwell, would you look at the time... 12 11 ^ 1 10 | 2 9 ⊙-… https://t.co/9tW3HIbFq7
Retweeted by Austin Sabattis
3/24
2020
This is absolutely insane. https://t.co/bV0FROUa8a
3/19
2020
Andrew Yang must be so mad right now. https://t.co/Puj84KM8hI
3/17
2020
Remember when new emojis would actually be headline news?
3/14
2020
𝗙𝗹𝗶𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵. https://t.co/t8qHcGRUhY
Retweeted by Austin Sabattis
3/8
2020
Now, more than ever, we should each keep in mind that we are in this together. “At a time when there’s no real dom… https://t.co/J3oEDSJckv
3/4
2020
Can someone just port Kingdom Hearts 3 come to the Switch? @nwolf30 But their pending acquisition doesn’t make me too eager to jump. @nwolf30 Dude, I might.Panicked WHO Officials Not Sure How To Respond After Coronavirus Brings 12 People Back To Life… https://t.co/MFFqRIsNr7
Retweeted by Austin SabattisYou’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Someone recommend a solid, user-friendly alternative to #robinhood. https://t.co/gFvL6Hrt5T
3/3
2020
@spraytanman @RobinhoodApp This is what I get for trying to be an adult.Unless you’re investing with #robinhood. https://t.co/D6bfzmWXh7I’ve been trying to place a single order on #robinhood for the last 45 minutes. Come on, @RobinhoodApp.
3/2
2020
Zoolander might just be a perfect movie. @BenjaminBirdie @_emmamorgan_ Also this is the most Ben Birdie gif I’ve ever seen. @BenjaminBirdie @_emmamorgan_ I deserve this.
2/29
2020
I genuinely can’t stand people who call anyone “boss” (unless they’re referring to Bruce).
2/28
2020
@verge My money’s on dumb.Maybe I’m just out of the loop, but @coldplay’s latest studio album is incredibly solid and deserves some attention and recognition.
2/25
2020
Reese Witherspoon is literally in everything.
2/24
2020
@CaseyNewton @reckless Will do! @CaseyNewton @reckless my Creative Dirtector and I are actively working on creating the next chapter in the story T… https://t.co/b1jLcYQaw6 @MacRumors @julipuli Here we go @backlon.
2/18
2020
There are way too many ads on Instagram.
2/16
2020
It’s not even 4pm. Please, let’s just put an end to this week.
2/7
2020
Will I ever actually feel like I’m an adult?
2/6
2020
Real dialogue that an actual human being wrote for the “drama” Designated Survivor: [in regard to the president do… https://t.co/vLJPdXItMRI need to stop pretending protein bars and coffee count as lunch. @nwolf30 @charliekirk11 Very interesting. It is the Midwest, so I’m not too surprised. @nwolf30 @nypost It’s like he’s not even trying sometimes.
2/4
2020
Jeep shot the 'Groundhog Day' ad eight days ago.
Retweeted by Austin Sabattis
2/3
2020
@nwolf30 Realizing that acceptance is an important part of his journey, I just can’t imagine coming to terms with something like that. @steeveedee63 A testament to your authenticity!This makes me sad. https://t.co/NpSdVpSNYiWhy does it seem like all male creative directors go through a “weird beard” phase?I just saw a NYC yellow cab spray that was obviously spraypainted black. Honestly, I’m just impressed. #BlackCar
1/30
2020
me when it’s time to present and my bosses are in the room https://t.co/DqPQFPCl0Z
Retweeted by Austin Sabattis
1/27
2020
@PATHTrain Where would I take the Hoboken Light Rail to in order to connect to the NWK/WTC Path line?I always need to be the most special.
1/25
2020
Pizza sounds so good right now.Always remember where you came from.
1/23
2020
There are so many ways to express your creativity. Capitalization is not one of them.
Retweeted by Austin Sabattis
1/22
2020
This week sucked all of the “new year, new me” energy right out. @_emmamorgan_ Nah, just drop by.Colleague, approaching me as I’m working at my desk with headphones on: “Hey, are you busy?” Me: “I am.” Colleagu… https://t.co/sz9UGRLUVL
1/17
2020
@leea523 Look, I’m still really fast at responding to tweets! Let’s just exclusively communicate on Twitter. But I love you, too!! @Kelsohhhh I miss you!It’s my pitfall. But look at how fast I’m responding to this tweet!
1/16
2020
Confession: I’m really bad at staying in touch with people, but I really, really, really don’t mean to be.
1/15
2020
What does being Twitter famous even get you?
1/10
2020
The word “booze” always sounds so judgmental.
1/9
2020
I have a ton of draft tweets that I save for when I feel like tweeting but don’t have anything decent to say.What even is this list? https://t.co/BSHzBq7FcjI hate opening Twitter late and having to play catch-up to find out who did the bad thing.
Retweeted by Austin Sabattis
1/8
2020
@mynameisOPIE It’s definitely too good to be true haha
1/6
2019
$HiAustin https://t.co/gV25l8KNSh
12/27
2019
Imagine if we still lived in a world with nights & weekends minutes.
12/26
2019
I don’t remember when I learned the truth about Santa, but I do remember when I learned the truth about drugs not being cool.
12/17
2019
It’s weird, right?
12/14
2019
@dami_lee @verge I must say: I’m loving some of @verge’s new features and stories on creativity (and how, or where,… https://t.co/gLSMsfUcwd
12/13
2019
@samantha_a_s But... carrying two phones!I don’t care how important you are: having to carry two phones is wildly inconvenient and looks very stupid.
12/12
2019
@Kelsohhhh This, exactly.Can we collectively stop writing seasonally-punny Instagram captions?
12/11
2019
Why do we clarify that our “calendar is up to date?” Is anyone’s calendar not up to date?
12/10
2019
There are way too many people taking the train into Manhattan before 7 am on a Saturday.
12/7
2019
@nwolf30 @stclairashley This is insane for so many unbelievable reasons.
12/5
2019
People still print out emails?
12/4
2019
Wait, it’s already been December for three days...?
12/3
2019

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