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Amanda @BeingAnda Pale Blue Dot

Bibliophile. Pop culture junkie. Writes wrongs for hire. My anaconda don't want none unless you got puns, hun.

487 Following   545 Followers   4,881 Tweets

Joined Twitter 12/23/12

@peacemachine123 Joke's on you. I'm not in college yet @peacemachine123 Liar. You just want followers.
Me, having an imaginary argument with imaginary Mr. Amanda: @writingiyer gives two shits, Twitter. "Priyanka Chopra went all out for Nick Jonas' birthday 🎂" @Sanjana_Charles The answer to this is always a resounding yes, whether I'm okay or notEver had your peace of mind destroyed by a smile? Yeah... me neither.
August seems like a year ago. @direktbus @dylan_frost83 Looking forward @direktbus @dylan_frost83 It was actually meant to do the opposite. You're always misunderstanding me, old sport @direktbus @dylan_frost83 Marshmallow. @dylan_frost83 @direktbus @direktbus @dylan_frost83 Awwww. Which part scared you? XD @direktbus @dylan_frost83 Don't roast this poor boy. He's not 52 like you. @dylan_frost83 @direktbus Child, that video will have minus one views @direktbus @dylan_frost83 There's no fun in being a madam, you are right. @direktbus @dylan_frost83 Aiyyo. My other Twitter fans don't know my secret madam identity. Don't exposeeee"There's no one that I disapprove of more or root for more than myself."'ve had the kind of day where the only thing that will probably help is punching someone violently in the face.My life's entire romantic arc, summed up: are red Indravadan's wife is Maya, I fucking hate this shit Main madarchod hoon jo isme aaya
Retweeted by Amanda
idk who needs to hear this but ma’am or sir you have way more interesting things to think about than whatever idiot…
Retweeted by Amanda @JataMangeshkar Haslo gaalo bro @JataMangeshkar Jhoot bole kauwa kaate @JataMangeshkar It's got you pretty bejaan huh @JataMangeshkar Bro, mohabbat kar le kar le re @peacemachine123 Ha! At least someone's learning @peacemachine123 Teaching your class has this effect on me @peacemachine123 You can listen to Marley without being a hippie. Conversely you can be a hippie and not listen to… @peacemachine123 This is a very strange gif @peacemachine123 impact: █    █  █  █…
Retweeted by Amanda
@schmmuck To fuck shit up, fam @WhiskeyTwilight Only you know it, Julers ❤️So people at my table were like, why is Amanda here. And I was also like, "good point, why is Amanda HERE?"Social drinking is weird. @JataMangeshkar Every single time Andrew Scott is, bro 😍😍😍 @JataMangeshkar Fuck off, I love you.I regret tweeting this because my old friends are roasting me with clever references @KarantMartiHai Fuck off @JataMangeshkar Bitch. Why do you know me so much.If you don't feel a football kick in your stomach everytime you hear of your ex, are you doing life right?Instagram tried to advertise Nandini Milk to me today. What idiots. That shit sells itself..@fleabag is so good I wish I’d never seen it.
Retweeted by AmandaHAHAHAHAHA @dsouzaarnold @rassendren Hahahahaha so true. But there's one really nice song on that: @rassendren No, no Revolution Radio and some songs from the trilogy were good only. But yeah 21st Century Breakdown… @rassendren SAME but this song is hella weird @nikhita_raaj I blame Justin Bieber @KarantMartiHai @TheEconomist Read OG headline, not Twitter. Also, don't ruin my joke.
@foet24 :( @Martiallah_ You have 1 @ThatRedDeviL Ha! I feel like I am, since I have so many red devils in my life @Martiallah_ I'm sorry. Big fan of your tweets tho :DHow to football Twitter: -Swear colorfully -Insert random European dude's name after colorful curse -Say "Offside"… @peacemachine123 feel like this comic will be comprehensible for an extremely small sliver of the population and i’m ok with that
Retweeted by Amanda @ash282000 @peacemachine123 Hahahaha if he bullies you, he will face my wrath 😈 @peacemachine123 @ash282000 I replied to yours too, child. @peacemachine123 Shreyas, can't you see I'm in pain! Tweet something interesting. I'll retweet then. Maybe. @ash282000 I'm going to complain to sirMe to myself, minutes after any conversation with Le Crush: @TheNirajChitnis Hahahaha thanks baby doll ❤️ @niyant10 Obviously. You gotta start with the alphabet before you learn the languageGreen Day was pretty much the first band I discovered on my own time and fell in love with. They've released a new…'re pouring money into literal bullshit, @TheEconomist. (What a wasted opportunity for a good headline)
PSA: Don't click on the 'Following' tab under the likes section on Instagram unless you want to see all the strange… life gives you coffee spill, be chill Jonah Hill. @realnehamahesh @wineinacoffemug @JataMangeshkar Wow lol this is like saying, don't be poor, get yourself some moneyI am Chill Jonah Hill™ on the outside. Coffee Spill on the inside. @direktbus Trying to strike mosquitoes and missing is a metaphor for life @direktbus These tweets made me very emotionalMe, thinking I've finally got all my shit together, right before some new shit pops up unexpectedly., thinking I've finished all my tasks, right before I realize I only finished one. @peacemachine123 And also with you. @wineinacoffemug @realnehamahesh I tried, child. Pardon the TMI, but things that should have been dry got wet and t… @BeardWithATwist HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOVE how GoT got a shout out there! Brilliant @NotSoPerfectGuy Hahaha, steal away, young man!Jonah Hill being chill while his coffee is about to spill. Brace yourself, I'm about to meme the shit out of this. @peacemachine123 It's great when it's happening to someone else, but when it happens to me... @peacemachine123 Look who's talking, Mr. Peace MachineNormal person reacting to a mildly bad situation: Oh no! Me, reacting to a mildly bad situation: AHHH NOOOO WHYYY…
If I found a magic lamp, I'd use every single one of my three wishes wishing for a new @thestrokes album. @WhiskeyTwilight Sari was ginormous. Fabric was wrinkly. Didn't want to look unkempt.Wore sari today. Compliments were collected. But no amount of flattery was worth holding my pee in all day.
@peacemachine123 @existentAbisha Xcuse me, go to school, Shreyas @aniirudhnair @existentAbisha I don't have the amount of ice needed to cure this burnRe: rumors about moi, @existentAbisha sends a meme*Me at 1:40 am* Haha, it's called a crush because you get crushed by the weight of the emotions hahaha OMG send tweetI'm very unhappy with this tweet. I think I can do better. Sorry, my 2.5 followers. Stay tuned for better content."Everything is not a metaphor!" -@existentAbisha, reschooling me, an English Teacher. (Discuss this statement with…
@niyant10 I buy even fewer things when I'm hormonalWtf, why'd you wanna know about my PMS, Mark Zuckerberg?
@sleepyhollowkid @taylorswift13 SAMMME GURL @duanananana @TheMindOfOrne @taylorswift13 @sleepyhollowkid Thank youuuu! Best kind of birthday! @WhiskeyTwilight @duanananana @TheMindOfOrne XactlyEven on my birthday, @duanananana can't help but roast me. Thanks buddy. And thanks to @TheMindOfOrne for this phot… @Cantonaesque Thank youuuu Kunallll😊😊😊