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(He/him) Video game writer at Fusebox Games, working on the Love Island series. Aspiring novelist. Member of Comedysportz UK | #BAFTAcrew 2019 | Jewish

2,112 Following   884 Followers   14,857 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/20/09

@MurkinTeri Same techniqueTrump used his public office -- the most sacred office in our country -- to try to pursue his private electoral int…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman) @McGarnical @docsquiddy Xbeese @literallycait Hi Caitlin! I queried you at the end of July (just after you re-opened) - should I assume that it's a pass by this point? @baetog_ My Karamo floral bomber jacket @BoldBebo This was my first ever cologne as an awkward teen!
@HazelMonforton I don't know Tsoureki, but the others all make my list.‘I’d be a paedophile too if my wife let me’ ok Toby
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman) @stejormur It's such a weird accent. County Durham + years of living in America.Don't honestly care much about Corbyn. He's done good stuff in the past but he's got had faults, enough that make h…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)I had to do it. The Nunes face and expression demanded it.
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)There are only 4 types of developers in meetings.
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@RatCasket Reminds me of my fav meme joke. I chuckle to myself at this one at least weekly.
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)been laughin at this for over 13 hours
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)It's real fucked up how anthropologists invented emotional labor to criticize an aspect of workplace culture under…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)if you ghost a dude after talking to him for a couple hours because he gave you a weird feeling in your gut, you we…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)vin disel's radical teen cousin from the fast and furious cartoon looks like they added ross from friends into over…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)911: what's your emergency sir me: I can't find my butler 911: perhaps he is pretending to be a 911 dispatcher li…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)Me: hi welcome to Staples Customer: I’m looking for a notebook Me: oh man good luck maybe u should go to Notebook…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)[all the waiters start to sing happy birthday] me: oh god how embarrassing wife: it's not even your birthday me: no…
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Struggling with crafting the first sentence of your novel? Be comforted by the fact that AI is struggling even mo…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)All parties contain antisemitism. If you single out Labour, you're doing Tory work.😍
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Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)What, if anything, can Wizards of the Coast do to repair its relationship with its LGBTQIA+ customers?
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)A thread about narrative states. Suppose we have a dating sim where outcome is decided by the player's relationshi…
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@benjamin_sabin Just buy up all the pumpkins in the shop in October and sell them to people for twice the price. Hoardy gourdy @manairport Hi, please ask your security staff to refrain from making political comments while processing our stuff… here is a short story i wrote for a competition i didn't win. enjoy
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)Hello! If anyone is interested, the lyrics to The Information Age are right here: - big, bi…
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Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman) @antigonized This one has always made me weep. Here's the link in case the text is too small:…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman) @antigonized
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)More Breaking: A Labour government will pass an emergency “NHS protection” law if it wins the general election, to…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)
@Keevahh Quit work?
It's #VisibleWomen again? :'D I'm Christina and a freelance artist from Germany. I work for tabletop, card art an…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)me: i'm terrified of snakes therapist: it's normal to suffer from this kind of hys- me: *panicking* did u fucken hear that
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)"Eating cookies is Cookie Monster's whole reason for being, but as a puppet he can't actually eat them. It's a trag…’s official this is the best tiktok to exist
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman) @UPSHelp Hi! How am I supposed to change the delivery date for a package if it says my phone number is invalid? It's not invalid. @PeterFobian Is that Guillermo del Toro?gf: i’m breaking up with you me: is it because i refuse to get a job and keep streaming to 0 viewers? gf: yes m…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)Find me something cuter than a shopping list written by a six year old. She’s planning her big sister’s birthday bu…
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Every now and then I remember Big Challenges and smile fondly. this classic[sifting through mail] baby shower invitation? Haha, um no thanks, Linda. I have a regular size shower that I can use whenever I want
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)9 million people aren't registered to vote - the deadline to register to vote in the imminent election is less than…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)Loss - Infinitely flexible and mashable - Unique combo of pattern recognition and the "Rickroll effect" - Tim Buck…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)"Thanks for the Christmas pudding, but three children died in that lake"
We were trying to do it right. Somebody stepped in and stopped us. Who was it? What is their problem? And what can we do about it?
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)Thread: I worked at Wizards when the Bolas arc was being planned. I am a gay man and was consulted on queer represe…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)I was yelling to myself about how Sonic will never be cute no matter what magic is done to him, so I challenged mys…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)When you're trying to wash off a toothpaste that fell from a toothbrush and stuck to the sink
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)guys i just read this book called harry potter well worth checking out it’s about a really interesting magic lad
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman) @_JakeTucker Pinging @AmandaTNStevens @MarkGrainger @GriddleOctopus I mostly remember him as the prince in Enchanted.
Hmm, not sure about this change
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman) @katie_kaestner "Your decisions have led you here. Your daemon is the gecko. You are intelligent and very intuitive… @DrSueOosthuizen Me when it gets to September and I have to thresh my corn @AngelosLH I like that the Bradwell logo in your name is also the Japanese for 'king'. @Peter5tewart @edfear Step 1: set your time machine to 2006 @edfear @Peter5tewart Ah yes, you're right. That makes a lot of sense. @Peter5tewart To this day I have no idea. Where were the keycards? Security staff?Twitter friends! I’m on the look out for people who are FLUENT and able to translate (written & spoken) from Englis…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman) @Peter5tewart Quickly realising we were not supposed to be there, we left and eventually did find a kind of recepti… @Peter5tewart In 2006, while on exchange in Japan, some friends and I went to visit the SE building. We walked insi… cat loves licking me, but can’t stand when I do it back
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman) @katie_kaestner @katie_kaestner do it toooo! I journeyed through the world of #HisDarkMaterials and discovered my daemon is a geck… of my all-time fav videos. Always gets a RT/share when I see it. 😆
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)surely a ramp would be better
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)
You DO NOT NEED A FIXED ADDRESS to register to vote Please pass this on to people you know in unstable housing sit…
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Amid the comedy of so much of the poppy stuff, there are a few more serious questions: - why is it now so central t…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)i see the president is commemorating the anniversary of kristallnacht
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I am Bench, God of Israel This did not work @SaffronOlive My fave combo is Dragon Mage and Rule of Law!Eddie is one of our desert tortoises. If you don’t push the door shut all the way, he will open it and come in. Edd…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)Tangled (2010) original concept art by Craig Mullins
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)もみもみうどん職人、 もみもみパン屋さん。
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman) @erindipper Fuck yeah! Go for it!Those dogs were amazing and so sweet! I had their toys hidden in my pockets. Nothing was more satisfying than handi…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)
everyone who is a writer should get into running bc it's important to have at least one hobby you hate even more than writing
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)Escape #madewithunity #shaders #gamedev
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman) @AlexWattsEsq @Brainmage @EwaSR Alex Watts, whipping a tortoise, screaming DO AS I COMMAND, BOY into its face @Brainmage @AlexWattsEsq "Ah, the beautiful game" cackles @EwaSR as she sends Alex a letter written in Guy's handwr… [whips off disguise] Me: AHA! I was a bleeding skeleton this whole time. Me: Me: wait Me: call an ambulanceif you liked ‘homework’, you’re gonna love ‘freelance writing’
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)Not one solitary fuck #sheffieldfloods
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman) @wrongwaygoback Good point. I'm not a big fan of Insatiable Appetite actually - I think that could be cut instead of a witch. @wrongwaygoback Oh and I think memory theft will do more for you in this deck than lucky clover. Not quite enough a… @wrongwaygoback I would cut both barrow witches for the wicked guardian and the tempting witch, I think.
every time i see someone saying "we can't have free healthcare, what if people abuse it?" i think of this post
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)Conservatives be like 'everything liberals fought for so far - weekends, fixed working hours, the vote - is fine, b… found her old tweets
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@thatemilykelley It's so good!I can't believe Fire Emblem Three Houses tricked me into watching an animeA lot of people pretending not to understand the main stances of the parties. One last time: Lib Dems: We will rev…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)why does this cat look like a 14th century squire who was cursed by a wizard to live his life as an animal for thou…
Retweeted by Bench (Ben Kaestner-Frenchman)German: München French and English: Munich German: weird but OK Czech: Mnichov German: I guess Polish: Monachium Ge…
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