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LGBT TV Animation Writer. Improviser. OK Puppeteer. "Golden Girls" enthusiast. Grocery Clerk w/ half an eyelid. Here's My Puppet Musical:

4,583 Following   17,796 Followers   27,822 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/8/09

@ChrisEvans This would be a gas.No pressure @KristenBell but you should tell Disney you'll never play Anna again unless they renew "Encore" on… how if Bernie or Bloomberg becomes the candidate we should still all be donating to Senate races like… is probably going to have a hard time adjusting to casting couches in jail being metal and bolted to the floor. @kimmasters @blakehounshell Thank you for your good work, Kim. @FrankAngones Thank God that Battletoads motorcycle level was so hard, or else I would have been writing about something very different. @ZebraAdam @rommiemiller Give this man the VIP treatment!
@uscensusbureau Hi Census! Are you doing anything to stop the RNC from sending forms that look like census forms to… @ElMarvinLemus Keep shining, you star.A good night for some not others. Something you can do no matter who the candidate ends up being is donate to Senat… pre-ordered what must be pre-ordered. @zachheltzel You're looking great, buddy!
@theames Were you going to SnapChat's offices? Why on earth?If AOC wore a garbage bag on "The View" they'd criticize her for going for a fancy "Triple Action Technology" bag w… @zachheltzel @brockwilbur You deserve a wonderful day.Don’t watch “The Invitation” if you live in LA because years later anytime I go to a house party I still always sus… you'd think legally he's be required to have a breakfast shakshuka dish called "Shaqshuka" but you'd be wrong. @KellenCox @ChrisEvans He's Captain American and you'll do whatever he says. So be concerned!I learned Shaq had opened a chicken restaurant that *wasn't* called Shaq's Chicken Shack and I got very upset. @johnlevenstein I know I’ve told you this too many times already but your episodes of “Baskets” are so good. @mneelzy Because the people demanded it. @StorytellerMG Wonderful! @audreyalison @MerrillBarr That’s bonkers! @kennygstevenson They film the show in Dorien’s car?
Did Buttigieg write this like he did his own Wikipedia page? @ZaraTalks Too bad we have to walk into the ocean now. @dreamoforgonon Charlie Brown's hand kind of waving around dismissively just makes it worse. @MikeBloomberg This is faked.I believe you’re born with your sexuality but at the same time I think the actor playing Patrick from “Schitt’s Cre… @benmekler Because McDonald's owns half of them? If you're not joking I can only assume it actually is a mess. @benmekler @Aeon_x6 Finally the prophecy is fulfilled.'s crazy Trump doesn't like a movie about leeching off much more successful people and trying to pretend you're r… @bad_leaf This is referencing dozens of people.FRIEND WHO DOESN'T LIVE IN LA: I'm visiting LA! ME: Oh great! I'd love to see you. Where are you staying? FRIEND WH…
My podcast with @HannaLoPatin celebrating the wonderful Disney+ show “Encore” is coming very soon! If you use iTune… fired the acting DNI for doing his job. @hitchmichael They really let anyone work on that show.My iTunes keeps playing old "Glee" songs when I start my car, as if to purposely shame me for a dark period of my life.I got a call from an unlisted number, and Elizabeth Warren finally called me! She sounded different but got me to s… @ThatsSoCravens @ewarren I did too. I want my phone call! @ecareyo It's amazing they didn't realize this poster looked exactly like the cover of a tween book for girls about… @AshaRangappa_ We'll see. I'm guessing today! @kenolin1 @ewarren No Ken. I won't be submitting for "Thirtysomethingelse" but to be fair I would be terrible for it.Congrats to Bloomberg for being the one candidate who actually gives me pause to the statement "whoever the candida… I was Mayor Pete and was constantly being compared to a rat, I would probably make sure to shave my weird little… @SarahThyre @michcoll Gay cancers have your back.Bloomberg gives off serious Robert Durst vibes #DemDebate"There were some women that didn't like a joke I told and for some reason didn't feel up to suing a powerful billio… hindsight they shouldn't have made everyone do a line of cocaine before the #DemDebate @zachheltzel I'll assume you just had this image ready to go.Bloomberg's response to his NDA's and multiple lawsuits should eliminate him from being a candidate immediately. #DemDebate"My state invented Post-Its" #DemDebate think the #DemDebate would be better if the candidates just all watched the newest episode of "Last Week Tonight" and then responded.Pete Buttigieg keeps saying that Bernie Sanders and Warren want to take people's healthcare away when they wants to…"Elizabeth Warren, now an important question about why you should be president. Aren't Bernie's supporters *the worst*?" -#DemDebate
I mean, this should be HUGE but it’s barely a story at all because we’re all boiled dead frogs now.The world is broken. "The Thing About Harry" on Hulu and this guy came onscreen and I thought "his nose looks like mine" and .0… @erinmallorylong @msdanifernandez Get ready for a period of mourning when it ends. The "Pippin" one killed me. @rfhyde1 How is that in any way WORSE?Tomorrow Bill Barr will publicly say he’s packed his office up while at the same time secretly ordering the mafia t… @goldengateblond It’s so dumb.Sounds good to me.
@erinmallorylong It’s wonderful! @maddiemarie173 @disneyplus This is such a specific thing to appreciate about the show, but I agree! They always do… @zachheltzel It was always the curse. "Do I drive or do I fly?" Because a 6 hour drive is never a good time.Today would be a great day to donate to Sara Gideon! @fisackerly @zachheltzel Hmm. Southwest flies BUR to PHX usually pretty cheap but I haven't compared. But yes, many… @zachheltzel Burbank. Always Burbank. @kevinpokeeffe Did you watch it? Was curious about this one. @GregoryLiosi You were so fun in "Encore" buddy! Congrats on making dreams for so many people come true as a community theatre director. @benmekler @NickRodriguez00 I call campus people "Day Walkers." @NickRodriguez00 @benmekler "Grill Day" in a 25-story indoor building is a sad thing indeed. @benmekler Only if there's free breakfast and lunch of various quality every day.
@ArielDumas The sounds of “moose” and “music” played a huge role in the pitch. @MrHappyGivens The character’s name is Moose Zack.Billie Eilish’s name was invoked about a dozen times, mostly because I don’t think he remembered mentioning her all the previous times.Don’t mention you write cartoons to a drunk man at a hotel in Huntington Beach unless you want a VERY aggressive pi…
@NewYorker This is one of many irresponsible headlines you’ve written saying that Bill Barr is pushing against the… taking a lap around Daytona will be the closest thing to exercise he’s ever done. @alplicable When you’re in a groove of playing without the pauses the game sometimes requires it really can be a workout.It only makes sense that a fitness video game would be so homoerotic. @FrankAngones @derekdraws @SaraAlfageeh @mexopolis Listen, this all comes down to Disney lawyers allowing a loophol… @FrankAngones @derekdraws @SaraAlfageeh @mexopolis BECAUSE you find out that it's a *mystical* gong that Toad Liu H… want a "sequel" to "Marriage Story" that's just the entire movie "All Over the Girl." @derekdraws @SaraAlfageeh @mexopolis Derek, I feel like this is a direct attack for all the Spuds Mackenzie and Bud… @DLChamplin @andrewsarrow @MINDHUNTER_ you two are amazing.Ugh. Just remembered this is a "leap year" and we're all required by law to watch Amy Adams movies this month. @theaterbearnyc A better farce than "Noises Off."Don't mean to brag but I'm super good at exceeding my 5 free articles at all the news websites. @rejectedjokes @RottenTomatoes You deserve all the good things. @spicer This looks fun for an easy party game! @FrankAngones @starflash24 @TaruneToon @RiseFallNick Oh man. Frank, this is a bad time to tell you that I'm the new…
@zachheltzel I'm 100% on board with this decision. I used to get their baked ziti. @StorytellerMG @MichaelDig BMI? Do you hang out at music rights publishing houses? @MichaelDig @StorytellerMG I did last week! Justin said you had questions. But I am a monster for not remembering we had met. @StorytellerMG @MichaelDig Ha. Just Twitter friends! But that still means something.Don't worry, that thing everyone wanted to happen at the end of the Sonic movie to set up a big sequel happens: Sonic dies.My husband doesn't know any Broadway musicals nor does he really sing much. Looking to have a strictly music-based… @madisonbateman @americanninjax @jslipchi Oh God. I'd be there in a heartbeat!