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Ben Kling @benkling Brooklyn, NY

am i good or bad please let me know thanks 🌱 I'm making @drypforplants ● Formerly—@ClickHole & @tumblr https://t.co/w4vmi49kWB

1,727 Following   9,024 Followers   15,973 Tweets

Joined Twitter 7/11/07


https://t.co/ou4m15tnDtgreat summation tbh https://t.co/4iw1xZ1vP5
5/21
2019
a headshot-style portrait of a person covering their mouth. on their hand is painted "I will not be silenced." ano… https://t.co/UKUERmYEvzFor now I've just made some epub documents that are available in the Books app but would like....something a little better. @ByYourLogic w w w dot what the fuck dot comI'm tryna make a simple digital guide for my airbnb guests with a grid of buttons/categories, displayed on an iPad.… https://t.co/gWcfOD2cqA
5/19
2019
https://t.co/iD6qpuJCkYpeople are acting surprised at how out-of-character everyone's acting in this final season—clearly they don't remem… https://t.co/zfFDvXlfTDtomorrow's gonna bring us the most surreal, poorly paced, wrong-timeline-feeling HBO finale since Sex & The City @CassFreshUSA I was gonna synthesize the pedal steel but if I can get a track sounding good enough to pair with vocals I would be very down!
5/18
2019
One of my least favorite comments when I post my work is, "I don't know why but I love this!" you love it because IT'S GOOD ᵇᶦᵗᶜʰ
Retweeted by Ben KlingMy feelings about Lynch are: a clock that displays a random time every minute is right a random amount of times per day.David Lynch's whole deal is neatly summarized in an interview wherein he recites a Vedic excerpt ("man has control… https://t.co/ua0PhNJ0I6or maybe just @CassFreshUSA should do it, ughhad a dream about a pedal steel cover of Gwen Stefani's "Cool" and now I gotta do it
5/17
2019
humiliating https://t.co/qjge1kLNOO
5/16
2019
@zenbrocade At first I thought you were upset that I was shading Europeans, hahaha Mona is the shade! It's good. @begoniabby We’ll rip off Sephora & Blick when you visit next @begoniabby It’s spoken for! @CPConrad Sorry I’ve been immersed in facetune all day I had no idea how insane it was @CPConrad Facetune!!!!
5/15
2019
for sure it's fucked up how men have portrayed daenerys targaryen. i know for a fact it happened differently from h… https://t.co/QrdDyxy9ZM @dinfowars hm interesting did not know you were a femmephobe!!!!!!Pop culture is people in their 40s giving money to people in their 30s to get people in their 20s to make content for teenagers.
Retweeted by Ben Klingsnapchat introduces straightforward dysmorphia filter that oscillates between how you look and how you long to look… https://t.co/YvbrwWGtgEairbnb guest left a basically unused nars lipstick who says europeans don't tip @TimothyPlatt ummm this is literally the plot of game of thronesi didn't spend my entire life toiling and researching so armchair historians could pen rhapsodic fanfics about how… https://t.co/uW07QAg1QmI know they’re not gay men because the photos are badI know straight male vanity very well but setting up a tinder profile and actually swiping has straight girl written all over itIn the last 2 days I’ve seen no fewer than 15 tinder profiles that are clearly straight dudes whose girlfriends ask… https://t.co/sH20UpHC02 @DarkLadyMallard you wish! @samttaggart (My husband is addicted to cam girls and I only love one of my daughters) @samttaggart Dentist day! Alright Donahue Gang, shoes on, car’s leaving in 5 minutes! First one in the Donomobile g… https://t.co/5vd2Qhlu6QI sympathize with horoscopes because I too spend a lot of time giving advice to dumbass people who won’t follow it
5/14
2019
@krisstraub Machine of death! @LevNovak @kathbarbadoro once again overjoyed to be out of the loop @kathbarbadoro @LevNovak instagram has been this way for years, but they compensate with the "unsend' feature in the dms
5/13
2019
@EdgarAllanFoe it wasn't actually canonized! "Based on the film, that’s [how] their names ended up. But, just like… https://t.co/3pjsdqe7RLloving the Oculus is New Sincerity @LevNovak y'all KNOW what was in those Scooby Snacks 😏stand up comedian: "if they're the Mario Bros— they're Mario Mario and Luigi Mario? What???" me: "they have no las… https://t.co/OsXzmWv1mKI fear now that I may never get a book deal writing daily affirmations in crayon with backwards S's.l*n m*nuel unfollowed me because I said he should be embarrassed of his tweets more : (*taylor squints sidelong at Janelle Monae's scantron* uhhh [C] Kohl's Queer and Business Easter https://t.co/0NrcFOO09Mit's so transparent it's goofy https://t.co/wTeuZjLNXxthe most heterosexual woman of all time is queerbaiting y'all and it's working??? @bransonreese @maryhoulie love that story about him just buying someone's groceries because he was like "it's fine I got extra money" @maxrosentown max this is straightforwardly trueYour wcw thinks Chytilova’s Daisies is about girl power
Retweeted by Ben Kling
5/10
2019
Tbt to my last full time job https://t.co/4YlWqQneApDark to learn that he’s capable of this reaction and it hasn’t kicked in before. https://t.co/HyIYlcOpT1
5/9
2019
@DanRobitzski I just feel pretty certain this had already been demonstrated in the mid seventies! Pokémon is a well-suited example, is all.looking forward to studies on the special new brain region that develops to help people who like Looney Tunes ident… https://t.co/uGpRlgwb7DSeriously I tried to dig beyond the ~scientists~ did ~brain scans~ and found a whole new ~cluster~ of ~brain cells… https://t.co/YzQxqaAVor🌱 romantic: romance 🌿 pedantic: pedance 🌳 frantic: francegroundbreaking neuro study finds that memorized information is stored in the brain https://t.co/RqmjQQlTmu @robhdawson First time in about 2 years having a twitter account has made my life better thank you for this info @tommphilip It stands for JK Rowling Kurt
5/8
2019
@robinmbrowne ❤️ always for the greater good, or at least the greater fine"sure ok, that is...yep, that's what I figured!"when I see ketchup or tzatziki or something emblazoned with GLUTEN FREE/VEGETARIAN, it reminds me of incredibly cis… https://t.co/lqjr46GPwnnothing more punk than buying heavily branded packaged versions of something you can get for free https://t.co/DjrhpPeUn5german names are racist caricatures of german names https://t.co/jlwd2f5pdyJust realized I have been misreading "Broadleaf" as "Breadloaf" for 15 years.tv writers are morally obligated to make sure the characters are psychologically representative of the average pers… https://t.co/X6QCUDhdhjthe character would not DO that if those two weren't controlling them, making them say things. I can prove it!currently not speaking to the game of thrones writers for making a character with whom I identify feel/act differently from how I wouldpilot: would you like to see the cockpit? me (nervous, i think i have to repay the favor) : yeah man, and u should… https://t.co/tFrXyBNUOj
Retweeted by Ben Klingrunner up is Tyler the Creator, who is fine and sometimes interestinghobo johnson is the kurt cobain of our time and by this I mean if kurt cobain were born in 1994 he'd be Facebook V… https://t.co/XtlpmSlaml"still alive" lol you get what I meanI grew up reading Catch Me If You Can and wishing I were still alive in the days when you could forge checks with t… https://t.co/M3cH2wgHXCThe more I think about it, the more I like the idea of being a thorn in Amazon's side by forcing them to show their… https://t.co/PLsKzyCVYhBringing back empties to swap, pretending to replace an item you picked up, might work for a while. Would be worth… https://t.co/skXstJjHqCMost of this is moot for people who aren't theft professionals or hobbyists because the store is on the second floo… https://t.co/VH0SlRWJkbAmazon has enough cash that it's simpler for them to be lenient in disputes (see their return/refund policies), so… https://t.co/PkHKd5l92mI'm sure the QR you scan is session-unique and hashed, so you can't screenshot some finance dude's pass at a bar an… https://t.co/Dsyz9RVJk6none of the press seems to mention this prominently, but what amazon is calling "Computer Vision" is actually facia… https://t.co/mO2YfyvFdnas a career shoplifter I'm both pissed off about Amazon's new "Just Walk Out" tech and excited to figure out how to beat itziggy https://t.co/ehAOz8oIeS
Retweeted by Ben KlingGirls who identify with Daenerys Targaryen are the new guys who identify with Don Draper.
Retweeted by Ben Kling
5/7
2019
@sasimons walnut creek sounds like a place michael che made up to place you in a roast jokeas if popular kids spending 6 figures on 1% prom is more noble than the technocrat profligacy of buying custom flam… https://t.co/P6jOk0fpbd
Retweeted by Ben Klinggood morning, lover https://t.co/AmLPyuDn1Z @GraceSpelman I feel like I recall the "♩♩♫ | ♩♩♫" from the opening theme being quoted before, which I count. There… https://t.co/iopvFdTQSpsitting up in bed like a sitcom woman, still in my nightgown and clamping a blanket across my clothed breastsEvery time I feel like nobody is inattentive or dense enough to need the After Episode recaps the lord reminds me I am wrong @begoniabby Turmeric McCarthy Cedar Gabriel
5/6
2019
ya mcm/wcw thinks their submissive/dominant sexuality formed as an inverse reaction to their personality, instead of the other way around
Retweeted by Ben Kling @kaitlinfontana This is a narrow view of male behavioral psych favored mostly by people who don’t have a very diver… https://t.co/vhx6dEEERR @kaitlinfontana The fact these pieces get written tells you more about the state of things than the feeble, thesis-motivated investigation. @kaitlinfontana You could curate an anecdotal anthropology about how women are evolved to be homemakers/feminism is… https://t.co/d3cn2BOrFI @kaitlinfontana I know! I read the article and it’s a pull quote in first person.
5/5
2019
the URL slug from this article reads like the epiphanic iPhone note the author tapped out in, hopefully, 2011 when… https://t.co/mPMIuuCNOkyou simply MUST appreciate the piquant condescension you can only get from pubs pretending to write sympathetically… https://t.co/fLuOFnWd2q"this defines the male ego so severely" is poetrywait I've changed my mind again, following hot people is good https://t.co/TC4UdTih1I @weems @alanalevinson @WeAreMel I’m tryna avoid hatemail thank you very much!!!
5/4
2019
@daddiemennis Like not even a beach towel????
5/3
2019

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