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mom & wife. made up of coffee, curse words & sarcasm.

658 Following   208 Followers   24,335 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/21/12


@_gypsyeyez Because you know you’re not gonna eat for a long ass time
7/11
2020
@augietogo She is the root and cause of all of the drama. ESPECIALLY with Lisa vanderpump @augietogo SO FUCKING TRUE.
7/10
2020
Room is finally done being painted. Now to rearrange & decorate
7/9
2020
Addison stole my moon pie from me
7/8
2020
I just found the biggest freakin bruise on my upper thigh. Like what? Where did you come from?Broiled hot wings for 2 minutes and the smoke alarm went off. Please note the previous owners installed like 50 and… https://t.co/loUDTD6S9z
7/7
2020
@JonBz_28 You’re not annoying! @JonBz_28 I’m talkin like friends he grew up with hasn’t talked to lolWhenever Ronald gets buzzed, he calls his brothers or friends he hasn’t talked to in forever
7/5
2020
Whenever Addison says pencil it sounds like she’s saying pretzel @_gypsyeyez My house is drowning in pincher bugs @Vaeda_ @MODPizza I sent an email saying the same thing. With a little more description 😂😂 @Vaeda_ @MODPizza The bottom was so bad lol. Only two pieces were edible. My toddlers pizza was the same way 🤦🏻‍♀️
7/2
2020
Thanks for the burnt pizza @MODPizza https://t.co/i1YRZxWHecThe endo bloat is real!We now know 4 people that have/had the ronas
7/1
2020
Painted our room white today. And I just realized that the idiot previous owner painted ALL OF THE CEILINGS IN MY H… https://t.co/D7b0gGtb8rNow that I know how to take the blinds down, I need to take all of them down and wash them this week
6/30
2020
When there are products at the @ContainerStore you need but you can’t order them online 😭😭 @Cass_Basss I never had allergy issues in CA or CO. But in WA? I’m dyinnnng. It rains so much that everything is al… https://t.co/34psiSc1tRAllergies in Washington are BRUTAL
6/29
2020
Do you ever not have enough energy to deal with certain people? Or even just talk to them? Because same.
6/28
2020
@sharise_breann @IKEAUSA https://t.co/oaPjEUSkyI @sharise_breann @IKEAUSA Oh yay!! I got pretty much everything I needed. I just went in and got it all lol. But t… https://t.co/HGJioCm01WThe chair I want from @IKEAUSA is out of stock at the two ikeas near me and I refuse to pay $100 to ship one thing to me 😭😭😭😭😭😭
6/26
2020
@Fettaaah I’ve had French onion dip but never green onion dip! I’m intrigued now!!
6/25
2020
@Fettaaah Omg 🤦🏻‍♀️😂😂🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ @Fettaaah Omg lmao
6/24
2020
Buyers on FB marketplace: will you take less because you’re far from me? Like what? LolI want to chop my hair off
6/23
2020
Not to mention this table is ALSO broken. Like wtf lolI ordered a table from @Wayfair they sent the wrong table and it was damaged. I got my replacement table today and… https://t.co/UjrtlHRxbYI woke up, made breakfast, did dishes, made potato salad, did dishes, made banana bread and pancakes and did some more dishes. Productive AF"For the first time, we are turning off our iconic Public Market Center Clock sign tonight to illuminate only B-L-M… https://t.co/UBMLGJtBR7
Retweeted by bthniAll 3 of our firesticks randomly stopped working in a two week time frame. If that ain’t fishy then idk what is
6/21
2020
Well... that haircut was a fai lNolan is getting his first haircut today 😭
6/20
2020
Nolan cried so much. For no reason. And threw up everywhere.IKEA Canada has all of the good shitSo like... was angelinas freak out staged or...?
6/19
2020
@Fettaaah Omg yay!
6/15
2020
When you can’t order your couch from @IKEAUSA online or for click and collect and your store only has two left and long ass lines 🙄
6/14
2020
Everything is starting to reopen. The song for the first time in forever from frozen is the perfect song
6/11
2020
I spend so much money at ikea. I should get discounts or some shit lol
6/8
2020
Uncut gems was such a stupid fucking movie @dominos makes the grossest buffalo chicken pizza
6/7
2020
@_Bananer Nope. My dad doesn’t like being a passenger lol. But if it was Ronald, we would have switched off @_Bananer We actually left overnight so the kids would be asleep most of the drive. And my dad drove. But it’s abou… https://t.co/MbwuJzvPon @_Bananer Never been 🤷🏻‍♀️ but I wasn’t about to make a 37 hour drive with two kids and two dogs alone (my dad deci… https://t.co/3pzY755wRZ @_Bananer I actually had to tak Ronald into getting it changed to here before he came back from Korea. We were supposed to go to Georgia @_Bananer I love it hereWhy can’t the cool bed frames also be made in a king size ?
6/5
2020
@IKEAUSA make this for a king size bed. Please & thank you https://t.co/a6pBBLMrXY @sharise_breann Ya, physically open to go in. Oh. Wait. Well they were supposed to open today. They boarded up th… https://t.co/tyGYUyH0sj @sharise_breann Perfect! You’re welcome!! @sharise_breann The costs mesa store opened today! So the Covina one might be too @sharise_breann Did you ever get your ikea order to go through?
6/4
2020
I know this is unimportant but ikea doesn’t make any of their cool bed frames for a king size mattress. 🙄
6/3
2020
Would you “rehome” a child you birthed because they were autistic? Disgusting. https://t.co/2tKUtCHsNQ
6/2
2020
If you identify as a woman, and you’ve HAD to laugh to de-escalate an awkward situation with a man, please RT. Cou… https://t.co/ad82SHqrBw
Retweeted by bthniBIIIIITCH! MY IKEA CLICK AND COLLECT ORDER WENT THROUGHCHICAGO POLICE IS TELLING HIS PARENTS THEY DO NOT HAVE HIM IN CUSTODY. THEY ARE LYING ABOUT HIS LOCATION. WE HAVE N… https://t.co/XUSVu6L4T2
Retweeted by bthni @_Bananer I love you too! Yaaaas we do 💜💜My baby will be 2 in less than an hour. I’m not okay. @_Bananer But he wasn’t one. So 🤷🏻‍♀️ You are 💜 @_Bananer I know he’s *trying* to apologize but in his own way but come on lol @_Bananer Your dad and I always got along. But what in the fuck lol
6/1
2020
No justice. No peace. ❤️ (🎥: Instagram/mysonnenygeneral, Minneapolis protest) https://t.co/YOL6JroQXR
Retweeted by bthniGenesee County Sheriff (Flint, Michigan) Chris Swanson put down his helmet and baton and asked protesters how he co… https://t.co/kfDgLAgLMC
Retweeted by bthniIt’s 2020 and we live in a world where injustice and racism STILL exists. We’re all different colors and and YET ou… https://t.co/Md7izK6pEI
Retweeted by bthniHi. The police officer pepper spraying a man in this picture is Sergeant David Gitlitz. He attended Bexley High Sc… https://t.co/cc7EMy0CV7
Retweeted by bthnithe police are walking with protesters in new jersey THIS IS WHAT I WANNA SEE #BLACK_LIVES_MATTER https://t.co/NzHd2IgXvf
Retweeted by bthniWhite people talking to white people. More of this please. If you’re white and you believe yourself not to be racis… https://t.co/KSqj1yFcnt
Retweeted by bthni
5/31
2020
When you’re trying to order from @IKEAUSA for the millionth time but now it’s even more important it goes through b… https://t.co/2Rxf3g1nRDIs there a secret for getting an ikea click & collect order to go through? Asking for a friend. @allmodern can someone please check the IG messages and respond. I need some help before I order something! And I r… https://t.co/7w5o0mqu7C
5/30
2020
Part 2 of trying to place second ikea order and it’s not going so well. I’ve tried all week. Maybe I’ll get lucky this weekendHow tf am I supposed to patch holes if I have no idea what freakin paint color the previous owners painted my house?
5/29
2020
@sharise_breann @IKEAUSA I think the Internet broke their website lol. I’ve been trying to order more and the optio… https://t.co/Ix1swjM6WwI hate when people ask to meet at night when they’re trying to buy something you have listed for sale. Like no. I a… https://t.co/j9rWsE6LQd
5/27
2020
@FidelityNhw literally the worst customer service I’ve ever dealt with. @_Bananer That place is and has always been trash
5/26
2020
My hair is growing and it’s getting heavy causing migraines. Wish I had the magic of @_gypsyeyez
5/24
2020
I still don’t have sour patch kids @_Bananer Miss you! @_Bananer Back in the daaayz
5/23
2020
It’s 4. @IKEAUSA has an hour left to deliver my order. I have a feeling they will not show for the second day in a row.I’m so tired of waking up with neck pain and headachesOf*Nolan only knows a few words but can say every line if monsters university and toy story @_Bananer 😂😂 I would’ve said the same It’s an amazon partner so I don’t even know who it is 🤦🏻‍♀️ @_Bananer Because it’s you’re fault 🙄 I was like no I don’t have a truck (we do but Ronald isn’t here) to go get t… https://t.co/4BvUa1sqVQ @_Bananer NO! They did fuck up though and forgot to deliver my order yesterday. Rescheduled me for today from 9-1 t… https://t.co/NJAFbmzQiFWhat fucking delivery service calls and says “do you have a truck? Can you meet us? We’re by the bridge and can’t g… https://t.co/aYtVqfKlH9My kids lose the firestick remote at least 4 times a day and I am overrrrrr it. @augietogo Jealousss. I forgot to buy some at the store the other dayI really wish I had sour patch kids
5/22
2020
@CottonOn it’s been 6 days since I’ve received return confirmation. Where is my refunnnndNolan loves Cheeto puffs and Doritos but freaks out every time he sees the stuff on his fingers. 🤦🏻‍♀️
5/21
2020

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