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please don’t take me seriously unless one of us is being paid to do so. he/him/his

1,901 Following   41,273 Followers   53,342 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/5/14


The white Anglo-Saxon Protestant in me really resonated with this https://t.co/U9htGtESaaYour Honor, with all due respect, you’re not my fucking dad
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dadtoday I’ll be making a pinto bean pie. yes this is real https://t.co/UDWVes1boN
Retweeted by Big Resurrection DadPlaying the Avengers theme song on loop to feel something againAre you telling me that Chris crossed this applesauce
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dad @zekerramsey @CaucasianJames I’d watch yeahfirst he monch and then he lick https://t.co/LLphKtWIfx
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dadt-rex was born to be a star https://t.co/IOS8Glu8Cp
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dad @DigisolAJ @optiuh DownBiden has seven grandchildren https://t.co/ndaPcPFevI
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dadthis pisses me off https://t.co/Df0KiUfBOL
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dadbored in the house and I’m in the house bored... ...but at least I have this dope hoodie 🥰 AND 100% of profits fro… https://t.co/dcDD0rcQk7
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dadthat's because someone filled our pristine waters with fucking easter eggs, poppy. https://t.co/MqexYDpKZ1
Retweeted by Big Resurrection DadHappy birthday to @pissboymcgee , the man who is TOO GOOD at arcade basketball https://t.co/EZfCdOxPzCwhy is this being treated as a feel good story? a woman felt the need to sacrifice herself because our healthcare s… https://t.co/RmE2NvbbzQ
Retweeted by Big Resurrection DadHow Doug douceys helps Arizona https://t.co/Zr9cavh7QX
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dad @mfdoomstanacc 🥺🥺🥺game recognize game https://t.co/MedsyjgxIK
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dadhttps://t.co/YMRbh5vizn
Retweeted by Big Resurrection DadSoooo...I started dating a Virgo recently 😅 April fools 😂 I would NEVER date a virgo🤦‍♂️
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dad“Quick kid I don’t have much time. In 2020 they will release a super virus in a strategic attempt to wipe ou-“ https://t.co/Q3nUjiJ9FL
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dad @hjghwaydocare Canselled @hjghwaydocare You’re a homophobe @hjghwaydocare Down @hjghwaydocare Let’s go king @poastsbymatt I was gonna say that just goes more to my point
4/2
2020
@poastsbymatt School isn’t over thoMy vote is for 2018/2019 because we are still currently in 2019/2020If I say “this last school year” do you think it means 2018/2019 or 2019/2020When the bartender said last call I didn’t know it was gonna be for 2 months
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dadhttps://t.co/FR6URN66eg
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dadhttps://t.co/ZfGN5ZhTShare ted cruz and taio cruz related
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dadgot his ass #AnimalCrossing #ACNH #NintendoSwitch https://t.co/Iaz76ThqJg @pissboymcgee It’s so good I can’t stopMilitant tree planting https://t.co/7qcIjgCu4k
Retweeted by Big Resurrection DadNot really, I kinda just wanna go outside or like to the gym or something https://t.co/kswhPF5F3mGood Boyfriend Quavo https://t.co/TbeNRbj4lY
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dady'all mind if i show off my island a little bit #AnimalCrossing #ACNH #NintendoSwitch https://t.co/GlDn3QxBj9
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dad @girlfr0g ShalomIf you are mean to any of the cats who can’t spell, you’re catching the block https://t.co/WVCD9Cj47YAprels fools https://t.co/HxcFcNJVYX
Retweeted by Big Resurrection DadThese are our governor’s priorities? This is not leadership I can get behind https://t.co/uvL4qrTCWk
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dadi’m not kidding anymore how is this possible https://t.co/AfjpwrXkxC
Retweeted by Big Resurrection DadIt’s about time that you guys start catching on https://t.co/YSRA67YA6bhttps://t.co/1bj2Ja8UmN
Retweeted by Big Resurrection DadJokes on you I was a fool before today and I’ll continue after today as wellMy friends are pretty nice to me haha jk April fools they’re actually the sweetest people in the worldMy chick bad My chick hood My chick do stuff that ya chick wish she could* *KickflipWho has the guts to share this video? https://t.co/JJnjaLkJB7
Retweeted by Big Resurrection DadIf she farts it makes a whistle https://t.co/flFBPQf6iqI believe the Civil War already proved that you would not https://t.co/fYn9k9tjrB
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dad
4/1
2020
Pépito’s secret door with secret knocking 🤫 https://t.co/AdarXPiEzz https://t.co/aU3UWinbaF
Retweeted by Big Resurrection DadI ACCIDENTALLY SAVED OVER MY BRICK PATH PATTERN WITH A PIC OF JOE EXOTIC GOD DAMN IT #AnimalCrossing #ACNHhttps://t.co/qJhhkYn1zgFellas, ignore this thread. She doesn’t even list a single 2-1 shampoo and conditioner https://t.co/mTOAdv4I04y’all are losing your damn minds https://t.co/gkhoHMYM2V
Retweeted by Big Resurrection DadWhen will Claire from Bon Appétit make gourmet MethI am losing my mind watching this Tiktok right now https://t.co/wiLlZGWdte @BoyYeetsWorld @ihatethiskid I second this @MR_WHIP_NAE_NAE Epic 😆As the city empties, our indigenous wildlife is coming down from the mountains around London. Nature will find a wa… https://t.co/vDk4FYwTHu
Retweeted by Big Resurrection DadThis is what Justin Timberlake was warning us about when he said “It’s gonna be May” He knew. @poastsbymatt I love the carhardt beanieFriend: so how’s your mental health during the quarantine? Me: oh it’s doing well! My brain: https://t.co/Qyj4TOVuvF
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dadday ? of quarantine: we’ve finally found value in beanie babies https://t.co/ruxs2TLk7Y
Retweeted by Big Resurrection DadAn unrealistic line up of interviewees https://t.co/SV1BwuKVFm @joeygllghr SONNY NO LMAOhttps://t.co/tY23lCztUU
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dad @pissboymcgee Ok sick sounds good @pissboymcgee Yeah if I can chill out and eat my chocolatemy boss turned herself into a potato on our Microsoft teams meeting and can’t figure out how to turn the setting of… https://t.co/Y30uKjSEpT
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dad#BudMerchMondays is kicking it old school today. RETWEET + FOLLOW for the chance to win this week’s item: the Bud… https://t.co/5AbOJvytRg
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dad @supjamiee Thank you so muchFriend: so how’s your mental health during the quarantine? Me: oh it’s doing well! My brain: https://t.co/Qyj4TOVuvF
3/31
2020
Fuck it, I’ll live stream me doing this on Wednesday for a negligent amount of retweets. https://t.co/QYzNy328V6
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dadok but when i make shit up i get suspended https://t.co/e3FJvAWEIS
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dadas a straight white man in his early 20’s do you think joe exotic and I would have been lovers yes or no https://t.co/XGIicXAsiP
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dadwho did it better? ft ur fav twitter accounts https://t.co/0ibXlDV7kO https://t.co/MMM11meH3v
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dad @matchu_chutrain @cherishtheeday Yeah he’s cool what about himGive me sunshine or give me death https://t.co/1y6TZDmxgWThey’re in Australia https://t.co/PTBzQ8FRnaTested positive for having more cake than your girl @bocxtop Wait so you’re not actually a NASCAR fan then💰💰💰 https://t.co/4r6GmIXCID
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dad @BeefedUpStud need some hype for this big dub https://t.co/D4m7PvezzE
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dadcory better be in the house rn
Retweeted by Big Resurrection DadWildlife finally taking back the world. Nature is healing🌻 https://t.co/R2A4xQhikb
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dad @kendraaaleighh OAnd 50% of poop is p https://t.co/oWTRje8tLy @doyalikebaileys I pray for roger and his patienceA timely reminder to wash your hands from the GOAT of clubhouse speeches, Zack Greinke... 👀 https://t.co/uKRl24nUlE
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dadif i owned 200+ tigers i promise you no police force in the world could arrest me
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dad @kendraaaleighh Ganondorf and nessMuffin :) https://t.co/b6bFI0VoQg1. Russell 2. I can show you the peels in my trash https://t.co/jjyQR63huOBack on that Monday morning grind https://t.co/LaBAvz9whc @ChrisCroy Nah more DSA vibesluna wants my dinner, a limited photo series https://t.co/OKZps9hHsk
Retweeted by Big Resurrection Dad🤭 https://t.co/yXJ3hQsHpJ
Retweeted by Big Resurrection DadI was weirdly team FBI on this one which is pretty off brand https://t.co/OQVqOGl5sZ
3/30
2020

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