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please don’t take me seriously unless one of us is being paid to do so. views are my own. he/him/his.

2,015 Following   48,002 Followers   60,678 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/5/14

No one can convince me that Tucker Carlson DOENST wear Sperry boat shoes underneath his desk @ULTRASLUT This one was something about heartsI got a bath bomb from goPuff and it came with a heart lock charm on the inside apparently
@ginadivittorio Excuse meGood boy GOOOOOOOOO @PICKLE_SLUT Impossible i have a girlfriendLord Russell Waterton of Dearfoam can’t even describe to you how intensely I relate to this video
Retweeted by New Year New DadMy favorite thing is watching LeBron James be an absolutely dominating force in the NBA who embarrasses grown men a… @Skoog @EwdatsGROSS I’m just waiting until I move in the summer tbh @ChipThrockmort1 There honestly really isn’t lmao @l3avem3alone Lfg hell yesEvery day is a new fight to resist getting a cat that I don’t have enough room for @EwdatsGROSS This is what I need in my life @arealspicyboi Worst day of the weekTuesday? More like Awfulday amiright??Good morning please keep going if you haven’t yet ❤️ @jodieegrace God blessDid I report the comments that were beating me as spam? Yes Do I feel bad? Only a little bit but not enough to mak… can u guys go like my comment on this tiktok real quick I’m trying to win a give away lmfao too crazy for pulls, but it was a good first stream! Thanks to everyone who came and said hi :)… @BigTucsonDad got me back into pokémon tcg.
Retweeted by New Year New DadOpening Pokémon cards like it’s my job, come through I’m gonna make dinner and shower real quick so I should start streaming in like 35-45 min! I’m over at…
Lmao what an idiot, I got a watch at target for like $15 and it tells me the time better than this 😂😂😂 @jbfan911 Thank you @BigTucsonDad
Retweeted by New Year New DadJust scrolled my camera roll and realized that no one takes pictures of me it’s just selfies of me doing dumb stuff… else catch what Drew Brees was looking at when he turned back one last time
Retweeted by New Year New Dad @BarstoolGooch You give me gus energy @BarstoolGooch I’m a pinched front type of guy personally @Lavender_Steel Bigtucsondad! @TweetGameLazy It’s my first stream so I’m a little nervous 🙈If I figure out my twitch set up, I’ll stream myself opening some Pokémon tins tonight so keep a look out for that… we go this headline and the first thing that popped in my head was the price is right loser horn for some reason“The problems of racial injustice and economic injustice cannot be solved without a radical redistribution of polit…
Retweeted by New Year New DadA recruiter on LinkedIn reaches out to me with the subject line, “we’re you excited to go to work today?” No Aliso… on, Garfield drive through went out of their way to spit in the face of god when they made a foot long chili cheese coney… @crocfanpage A5$"If you increase the minimum wage the cost of living will go up!"
Retweeted by New Year New Dad @jbfan911 CoolOk so no one is focusing on the real issue here How did James take the 4th picture @avantnard Do u watch anime
My gender is 100% American steel HOG, all thanks to my good friend Harley Davidson 😎 it’s called high school English interrupting wildlife photographers. A thread: 1. 📸 Dan Dinu
Retweeted by New Year New Dad @thebiggestyee Oh hell yesBraving the elements in order to secure a sweet sweet McGriddle strip clubs must not have as good of buffets like they do in Houston
Retweeted by New Year New DadSounds sick as hell Nikki friend said he was rushing proud boys this semester but I went with antifa. The pledging process just seemed lik… news guys I got elected as the new member educator for antifa
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Live on twitch speed running my mimosasgimme that gay shit!!
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Retweeted by New Year New DadDamn the NRA couldn’t survive one year without school shootings
Retweeted by New Year New DadQAnon is just gossip girl for nazis @matchu_chutrain @dovenymph Give a rating pleaseShould I buy a muumuu @zekerramsey Leave me alonewow no way
Retweeted by New Year New DadListening to Ben Schwartz on game grumps because it’s soothing
@JackWilliamRtF . @ajbabyboi you can sub or add nacho fries into literally any menu item just as a PSA @notlexistange Never would i everImagine Trae young and the Pope having a jersey swap this might get a little confusing and hard to understand with all the numbers and everything, so bear with me o… after their can of breakfast: feel like, and correct me if I’m wrong, bullets in the dryer is a great way to have a potential accident and Gerald was my fav cartoon growing up @justcallmebai I wishFunny incident was we had the “poopetrator” who would go into the boys bathrooms and smear poop all over the walls… @spacemichaelman Super validWe started using this because a student dies every year in some tragic way that catches everyone off guard, but it… #AztecStrong hashtag that happens every year unfortunately @yephph This was the bigger news by far, it made national headlines lmfaoThis study was conducted by the university of my eyes
Retweeted by New Year New DadFREE HIM. NOW. @aubviouslynot Yes! I love rillaboom and nine tails too and they’re on my team too @thegallowboob Icarus ass baby
Retweeted by New Year New DadShe hates taking pictures w me because she’s out of my league eyes really said 👁 👁Fiona is coming over so we can eat ramen and I am excited us back our bird you aussie fucks
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Is pop-tarts bicurious??? @maybemerritt This is like how they train race horses to run at the bell @pissboymcgee @bobbyteriyaki You should consult a doctor about thisA map shown by the WAC seems to confirm the rumors that Chicago State will exit the conference. Also implies that M…
Retweeted by New Year New Dad @BrianKrosky @GooseIsland Ok but imagine an eleven year old with a bad attitude that can fly Now what @GooseIsland I’m gonna get bodied by the 100 pound goose so I’ll take my chances with the little guys @bobbyteriyaki @ar1e11e Nah north of campus on Campbell I believe2 years ago I found the worlds coolest chipotle