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please don’t take me seriously unless one of us is being paid to do so. views are my own. he/him/his.

2,015 Following   48,002 Followers   60,678 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/5/14


No one can convince me that Tucker Carlson DOENST wear Sperry boat shoes underneath his desk @ULTRASLUT This one was something about heartsI got a bath bomb from goPuff and it came with a heart lock charm on the inside apparently https://t.co/5Db2kivONd
1/20
2021
@ginadivittorio Excuse meGood boy https://t.co/ByUfyDKSLWLETS GOOOOOOOOO https://t.co/uDmgmWQYed @PICKLE_SLUT Impossible i have a girlfriendLord Russell Waterton of Dearfoam https://t.co/bP19q7KjUBI can’t even describe to you how intensely I relate to this video https://t.co/bKEakpmpY0
Retweeted by New Year New DadMy favorite thing is watching LeBron James be an absolutely dominating force in the NBA who embarrasses grown men a… https://t.co/HBb1HbA1LT @Skoog @EwdatsGROSS I’m just waiting until I move in the summer tbh @ChipThrockmort1 There honestly really isn’t lmao @l3avem3alone Lfg hell yesEvery day is a new fight to resist getting a cat that I don’t have enough room for @EwdatsGROSS This is what I need in my life @arealspicyboi Worst day of the weekTuesday? More like Awfulday amiright??Good morning please keep going if you haven’t yet ❤️ https://t.co/1QTchGiIwr @jodieegrace God blessDid I report the comments that were beating me as spam? Yes Do I feel bad? Only a little bit but not enough to mak… https://t.co/RtyMK2rFZdHey can u guys go like my comment on this tiktok real quick I’m trying to win a give away lmfao https://t.co/rjdSyoXcKaNothing too crazy for pulls, but it was a good first stream! Thanks to everyone who came and said hi :)… https://t.co/MvHlJspoOPalright. @BigTucsonDad got me back into pokémon tcg.
Retweeted by New Year New DadOpening Pokémon cards like it’s my job, come through https://t.co/bRf6b8Q9qy https://t.co/zIX431KbhCOk I’m gonna make dinner and shower real quick so I should start streaming in like 35-45 min! I’m over at… https://t.co/jaiChLy3GZ
1/19
2021
Lmao what an idiot, I got a watch at target for like $15 and it tells me the time better than this 😂😂😂 https://t.co/SDX3hi5dJV @jbfan911 Thank you @BigTucsonDad https://t.co/Xz48HY2LxG
Retweeted by New Year New DadJust scrolled my camera roll and realized that no one takes pictures of me it’s just selfies of me doing dumb stuff… https://t.co/WqKi2zLcsRAnyone else catch what Drew Brees was looking at when he turned back one last time https://t.co/aqjPSrT6fb
Retweeted by New Year New Dad @BarstoolGooch You give me gus energy @BarstoolGooch I’m a pinched front type of guy personally @Lavender_Steel Bigtucsondad! @TweetGameLazy It’s my first stream so I’m a little nervous 🙈If I figure out my twitch set up, I’ll stream myself opening some Pokémon tins tonight so keep a look out for that… https://t.co/iEEmwPQHEzhere we go https://t.co/3d2zhA6drN https://t.co/X9mo0RktOaReading this headline and the first thing that popped in my head was the price is right loser horn for some reason https://t.co/3d2zhA6drN“The problems of racial injustice and economic injustice cannot be solved without a radical redistribution of polit… https://t.co/gONMjOzdxn
Retweeted by New Year New DadA recruiter on LinkedIn reaches out to me with the subject line, “we’re you excited to go to work today?” No Aliso… https://t.co/SBUKGrJtXjSpot on, Garfield https://t.co/qXeW4KhvFBSonic drive through went out of their way to spit in the face of god when they made a foot long chili cheese coney… https://t.co/j805uDviAW @crocfanpage A5$"If you increase the minimum wage the cost of living will go up!" https://t.co/qT51EkjcO9
Retweeted by New Year New Dad @jbfan911 CoolOk so no one is focusing on the real issue here How did James take the 4th picture https://t.co/3AyuWXhZvK @avantnard Do u watch anime
1/18
2021
My gender is 100% American steel HOG, all thanks to my good friend Harley Davidson 😎 https://t.co/fqs3nPQkgnYeah it’s called high school English https://t.co/Q9f7XKqdj1Animals interrupting wildlife photographers. A thread: 1. 📸 Dan Dinu https://t.co/FYfohHAucq
Retweeted by New Year New Dad @thebiggestyee Oh hell yesBraving the elements in order to secure a sweet sweet McGriddle https://t.co/9UAhgBldNwBrooklyn strip clubs must not have as good of buffets like they do in Houston https://t.co/XM9BerbNURhttps://t.co/WzbbMmW3z7
Retweeted by New Year New DadSounds sick as hell Nikki https://t.co/4ouTS3BzenMy friend said he was rushing proud boys this semester but I went with antifa. The pledging process just seemed lik… https://t.co/HQkQSg20WzGreat news guys I got elected as the new member educator for antifahttps://t.co/R2ObKQqy5L
Retweeted by New Year New Dad
1/17
2021
Live on twitch speed running my mimosasgimme that gay shit!! https://t.co/brSkDUVfyZ
Retweeted by New Year New Dadhttps://t.co/XNBDR9otkl https://t.co/eIm6oEJHMW
Retweeted by New Year New DadDamn the NRA couldn’t survive one year without school shootings
Retweeted by New Year New DadQAnon is just gossip girl for nazis @matchu_chutrain @dovenymph Give a rating pleaseShould I buy a muumuu https://t.co/z7SL0YIbvi @zekerramsey Leave me alonewow no way https://t.co/LFqyICFhcZ https://t.co/6eELDDpM25
Retweeted by New Year New DadListening to Ben Schwartz on game grumps because it’s soothing
1/16
2021
@JackWilliamRtF . @ajbabyboi you can sub or add nacho fries into literally any menu item just as a PSA @notlexistange Never would i everImagine Trae young and the Pope having a jersey swap https://t.co/88JgCMdcuHNow this might get a little confusing and hard to understand with all the numbers and everything, so bear with me o… https://t.co/qpN5pdmncwCats after their can of breakfast: https://t.co/W3VkMdOsNGI feel like, and correct me if I’m wrong, bullets in the dryer is a great way to have a potential accident https://t.co/CUIKuvFZZ8Need https://t.co/ffweONcUyJThomas and Gerald was my fav cartoon growing up @justcallmebai I wishFunny incident was we had the “poopetrator” who would go into the boys bathrooms and smear poop all over the walls… https://t.co/epBuPQLTrL @spacemichaelman Super validWe started using this because a student dies every year in some tragic way that catches everyone off guard, but it… https://t.co/4awxeHEOMaThe #AztecStrong hashtag that happens every year unfortunately https://t.co/TFe0cqolTh @yephph This was the bigger news by far, it made national headlines lmfaoThis study was conducted by the university of my eyes https://t.co/u4RUSX0tBHhttps://t.co/lqkqXNfoke https://t.co/PgdBQzSEfI
Retweeted by New Year New DadFREE HIM. NOW. https://t.co/gb45lgegAY @aubviouslynot Yes! I love rillaboom and nine tails too and they’re on my team too @thegallowboob Icarus ass babyhttps://t.co/wB0mKJ2jhg https://t.co/gRdFdnpy8z
Retweeted by New Year New DadShe hates taking pictures w me because she’s out of my league https://t.co/dFE0qSgtAw https://t.co/Ypy6Qwn65GMy eyes really said 👁 👁Fiona is coming over so we can eat ramen and I am excited https://t.co/hg3mTbiw2wgive us back our bird you aussie fucks https://t.co/SvQOF279KS
Retweeted by New Year New Dad
1/15
2021
Is pop-tarts bicurious??? https://t.co/RYyVNtsNox @maybemerritt This is like how they train race horses to run at the bell @pissboymcgee @bobbyteriyaki You should consult a doctor about thisA map shown by the WAC seems to confirm the rumors that Chicago State will exit the conference. Also implies that M… https://t.co/HtZXdi9S2E
Retweeted by New Year New Dad @BrianKrosky @GooseIsland Ok but imagine an eleven year old with a bad attitude that can fly Now what @GooseIsland I’m gonna get bodied by the 100 pound goose so I’ll take my chances with the little guys @bobbyteriyaki https://t.co/PcWoLsvDGk @ar1e11e Nah north of campus on Campbell I believe2 years ago I found the worlds coolest chipotle https://t.co/Zpm4FgBRAA
1/14
2021

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