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Beats me, man. Beats me why most dudes suck. Sure as hell ain't my scene.

267 Following   78 Followers   9,367 Tweets

Joined Twitter 7/31/08


RIP Chinedu, killed by Boko Haram for loving Mayor Pete too much.
Retweeted by Mr. Bill @koleross Do you have a letter from your doctor
2/16
2020
@concavetriangle what makes a secret... secret?
2/15
2020
@laureneoneal Do the peanut butter jelly time dance for him
2/14
2020
@openargs Friend, I'm very sorry, but we passed this point years ago. This question will, at absolute best, get a "… https://t.co/XCOx7ebfe8 @rockpapershot Ruh roh @TrevorRobb_ It was an absolute skating rink on the Henday at evening rush hour. Everyone was going 20, took me an… https://t.co/LhPz70qefT
2/12
2020
@MurderBryan Oh man, couch weed, I heard that shit is for real
2/11
2020
@TrevorRobb_ @BreakenridgeYEG LEGEND HAS IT THAT IM ATTENDING THIS SHOW
2/10
2020
@PrototypeCube What if one of those AA batteries is actually made of plastique The ultimate misdirection @ChipCheezum "Surely everyone in the army thinks just like me, and their upbringing has no bearing on their beliefs or desires" @tarenceray Hell of a ride for a fella who sounds like a weepy Kermit the Frog
2/9
2020
@TrevorRobb_ Gabbo! Gabbo! GABBO!
2/8
2020
@daveweigel @CHAPOTRAPHOUSE "It's all about the music," says the Tupelo Music Hall, having not heard the end of tha… https://t.co/DsyeoYydo5
2/7
2020
@EJRTweets Sorry friend, but being able to claim victory in Iowa gives that magical momentum - Pete is up 4 points in NH. Because hes a rat.
2/6
2020
@ByYourLogic How'd he get Dawkins' honey?? @laureneoneal V. Raucous
2/4
2020
@hentaiphd One of those shows where you watch it and go "oh so THAT'S what that show was parodying!" @bombsfall >:O @EJRTweets https://t.co/ieQBGl5b56
2/3
2020
@beatonna That first picture has serious "answering an email from the deputy minister on my blackberry" vibes
2/2
2020
@AdamSessler I'm sorry, Adam, but I agree with him. Trump's crimes are numerous and heinous, but expecting any kind… https://t.co/s3vV3RwkTH @RChimp Gimme dat beanpaste
2/1
2020
@bobservo No sir, I don't like it. @kcgreenn that bowser fella sure was big, hunh
1/31
2020
@skippygranola When he promises you it's 18V and it's actually 12V @EJRTweets That's the kind of shit we're talkin' about here, Eric. Old men callin' regular men old men. @EJRTweets I hate to say it, but if your pitch is anything like this, expect the 65 year old exec to reply with "OK, Boomer." @warrenellis Jesus mate how many animated series are you gonna have to write to pay that one off @fart @BAKKOOONN welcome to Guy's Grocery Games @PrototypeCube The audience is left with the question: was the ass jiggling from a slap? A clap? Or a poot?
1/30
2020
@ChipCheezum Keyblade...
1/29
2020
@BAKKOOONN Super happy to hear this. It's my favourite lovecraft story and the reviews had been ok-to-good so far. @skippygranola Early to rise and early to bed makes a man wealthy but socially dead @skippygranola I'm still not sure if it's a self own that I told the boss "no I can't do 12s, I have to go to class until 930 pm"
1/23
2020
@koleross Until next time, remember folks, I do not consider drunk driving a felony. @koleross Anyone doin' treatises in religious journals about God having 5 fingers in those eps
1/21
2020
@MurderBryan I love frostbeardin' it Gives you a li'l sip of water when you get inside
1/19
2020
@BAKKOOONN Dr Loomis shoulda gotten the chair imo @PrototypeCube It's like that FOX engine demo of the meeting room, except delicious
1/18
2020
@No_Context_JTC Get your shit together, Joey @JhonenV sometimes the leaves look like Dib
1/17
2020
@skippygranola >:O @hentaiphd I think that last pic is from a Mormon Church flyer @KaciAitchison Honestly, the stifling was probably more stifling relief @TPBoysScreen Very skillful and subtle blurring, folks
1/16
2020
@skippygranola please, I'm a man of taste it's a golf @skippygranola I guess what I'm saying is german made cars plus -40 is a dice roll @skippygranola My car's software glitched out in the cold yesterday on the drive home, declaring a critical engine… https://t.co/etW68jz6K4 @skippygranola I have the day off, I'm sitting in the pub in front of a fireplace and directly in a sunbeam. My feet are still cold. @ericszyszka Man's gotta eat @PrototypeCube the track Genesis started playing in my brain when you RTed this
1/15
2020
@bobservo At least they'd do it efficiently
1/13
2020
@supsuphannah gatorade and cheezies, The Running Man on TV @skippygranola Cryptic responses aside, I believe the actual answer is motorboating a lady's chest. @skippygranola Therapeutic @skippygranola He's pretty annoying in the front row during Raptors games though @skippygranola I just like callin' it dra-que. Y'ALL PLAY THAT DRA-QUE?! @katietiedrich That brand is all about spicy, in fact too hot for my white ass.
1/11
2020
this image is for a very specific venn diagram of my followers https://t.co/KBX4yifujf
Retweeted by Mr. Bill
1/10
2020
ffxiv commission for a friend https://t.co/YkLqDX24Wm
Retweeted by Mr. Bill @Fobwashed Graveyard Keeper. @bombsfall "phoot, phoot, phooweeeoowoop" is my favourite performance on the ocarina
1/9
2020
@ericszyszka I'm sorry, could you repeat that? @ryanjespersen Balvenie neat, accompanied with me sticking my head in the hearth and licking the inside of the chimney @RChimp Kaz Miller already halfway to Mort status anyway just needs to lose a few more limbs
1/8
2020
@bombsfall Crisis on infinite dinosaurs @Gen_Ironicus And you were never heard from again
1/6
2020
@Vicas3 S-same?!
1/3
2020
@bombsfall https://t.co/EY3zzVmmWy
1/1
2019
@MrMooEar @Twitter well heck luckily they love to present themselves to you! Treat it like duck hunt, if you see th… https://t.co/VZaeWFlOyJ @MrMooEar @Twitter Remember, Brad, block all brands @TrevorRobb_ Yeah uh I'm gonna a join you on this one. Let's convene back here tomorrow.
12/31
2019
@bobservo So are the eyebrows sharpied on, or...? @Worthikids It's hella good and it was put out at the right hella time
12/30
2019
@Popehat Yeah whatever I saw that pic of a cat lounging on your blanket covered legs in front of the fireplace in the house you own @RChimp Pls knock that dorks hat off for me thxCongrats to the Champ @ybbaaabby @giantbomb https://t.co/TeW9beBXz6
Retweeted by Mr. Bill
12/29
2019
@joan_osborne I mean, I kind of already have mine, they made a move with Michael Caine as Scrooge @supsuphannah From one grot to another: she got an ass @laureneoneal Any feces?! The people desperately need to know!
12/28
2019
@EJRTweets how dare you steal my default comedy name
12/27
2019
https://t.co/EAqD0dVL76
Retweeted by Mr. Bill
12/25
2019
@RChimp I shall remain a gamepad baby though, no sticks @RChimp I ended up with Xrd Rev 2 from that humble bundle and I think I am going to learn how 2 punch
12/24
2019
I swear it feels like a moment where somewhere, somehow, Terry Pratchett just won twenty quid off Neil Gaiman . https://t.co/dTw3puZmg9
Retweeted by Mr. Bill
12/23
2019
You hate to see it https://t.co/Cl7F28wxtY
Retweeted by Mr. Bill @Hanhula @ffxivcrystaldc I suspect @Leozaur @bobservo is this a Kids in the Hall sketch
12/22
2019
Duckstream 2019 has begun! 48 hours of game streams to support the TransActive Gender Project. Please retweet and s… https://t.co/zmBOiXgeCV
Retweeted by Mr. Bill @PaulRyckert I've heard that about you
12/21
2019
@RChimp Hot Fish is my favourite Mott the Hoople album @juliacarriew Lord knows I do
12/20
2019
@bombsfall So... the entire Sonic franchise @skippygranola Wouldn't rule it out @skippygranola aw, it's all in the game. Dude who used to run our machine shop yelled at us for using the dial cali… https://t.co/sGwokAfpVW @skippygranola At work we almost exclusively use dial calipers, and I've come to be very used to them. Digital can… https://t.co/hejSMFVGXX @skippygranola I hang 'em in a rack, like a knife rack. A board (or piece of sheet) with a line of 2" holes in it, mounted on the wall. @skippygranola I splurged and spent like 60 goddamn dollars on a set of 6" dividers from Starrett. They're fuckin'… https://t.co/w7Uu8PK9Tx @skippygranola What, no trammel points! Also wing dividers hmmm I'll allow it
12/19
2019

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