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Bill Maher @billmaher Los Angeles

The Official Bill Maher Twitter

39 Following   11,041,077 Followers   4,558 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/29/09


I am practicing every safe directive they say I should. I make sure I use disinfectant on every surface that has at… https://t.co/gxQ3uysyA7I'm all for rallying around the flag, but let's not rally around the guy who missed all the red flags. https://t.co/rFlvEMot8E
4/4
2020
Well, after 500+ episodes of Real Time always LIVE, tonight's show is already in the can. Like the economy. We shot… https://t.co/8idkAWMspk
4/3
2020
FRIDAY: @BillMaher is BACK (from his backyard) with a new episode of #RealTime feat. @BernieSanders @MayorOfLAhttps://t.co/4jf0k52rpb
Retweeted by Bill Maherhttps://t.co/vcVYOphKzo
4/2
2020
As today shld be the start of baseball, let me offer an analogy: let's take out a tired starter who's been wobbly t… https://t.co/XScLuG5dGmMan, this really brings new meaning to 'same shit, different day.' 30 days has September, April, June and November,… https://t.co/n490hm40AW
3/27
2020
So...no handshakes, kisses, hugs, fistbumps or gatherings, got it. But quick question: that thing where people spit… https://t.co/sJQMb1hXxH
3/25
2020
I know people mean well when they ask "Are you safe?" but I feel the net effect is empty shelves at the grocery sto… https://t.co/orwAqWPUsA
3/24
2020
...living like this? If - a hypothetical - they found that what went into making smart phones was part of the probl… https://t.co/3TRjRMQZ2NWhat if this virus - and others to come - is somehow connected to how much we've ratfucked the environment? When we… https://t.co/lmJ7aOxxnKThis is pretty much what I wld have said - funnier, of course! - if we were on last night. Maybe not this month, bu… https://t.co/bSWXbSSgF7
3/22
2020
Now that I've been home alone for a week, can I touch my face? I mean, if touching body parts spread it, my dick wo… https://t.co/Nox16DPAQS
3/21
2020
The media keeps announcing celebrities with the virus that is reminiscent of similar announcements about someone re… https://t.co/6Bh8QstrGzIt’s a lot easier for Republicans to provide aid in a crisis, because they don’t have the other party fighting them… https://t.co/22WOPFX0OO
3/19
2020
People are asking why the Germans are getting the virus less - I think its because they wash their Hans. Come on pe… https://t.co/BwfGt28j7O
3/15
2020
Day One of the quarantine, and I'm already bored. There were people in bars when I drove home from the studio last… https://t.co/Is1lQlUvtoI see people are calling #coronavirus the Wuhan flu on twitter. This is a little insensitive. It's like calling her… https://t.co/lilQiQJM8qInstead of the 30-day pause that Trump announced today in a pledge to keep this great and important industry going.… https://t.co/aoHsHLYQ8N#StartTheClock! @BillMaher is LIVE with @dropeik @andrewzimmern @Lis_Smith @Timodc + @EdwardGLuce on #RealTime @HBO! https://t.co/NgO7gvQe0F
Retweeted by Bill Maher
3/14
2020
It kills me not to do a show that people are expecting to see, but life in America went from zero to crazy really f… https://t.co/JsigYf2jus
3/13
2020
FRIDAY: @BillMaher will be LIVE with @dropeik, @andrewzimmern, @PeterHamby, @EdwardGLuce and @Lis_Smith on… https://t.co/9mWZR4S7XF
Retweeted by Bill Maher
3/12
2020
Rough day for Harvey Weinstein, but I think there are still some more Oscars and Tonys in his future. And Marvins.… https://t.co/Ri7fgSHXI0
3/11
2020
"You wanna say that the Trump Tower condominium is 10,000 sq. ft. when it's 1,000? No problem. But you can't lie ab… https://t.co/o9er7kQkWQ
Retweeted by Bill MaherTrump said he had a hunch that the virus wasn't as bad as the World Health Organization says. So on the one side, y… https://t.co/veBqHLcjhmI don't care which old white guy we wheel into the Oval Office. If Trump can take money from criminals and foreign… https://t.co/AX9wZgPACo#StartTheClock: @BillMaher is LIVE with @RachelBitecofer, @DouthatNYT, @CaitlinPacific, @Scaramucci + #BrianCox on… https://t.co/qlkL67j24w
Retweeted by Bill Maher
3/7
2020
FRIDAY: @BillMaher will be LIVE with @RachelBitecofer, @CaitlinPacific, @DouthatNYT, @Scaramucci + #SuccessionHBO's… https://t.co/yjBsqLsQso
Retweeted by Bill Maher
3/5
2020
Would having a public health care system like #MedicareForAll make it easier to deal with a pandemic like the… https://t.co/UBxUO5ArRs
Retweeted by Bill MaherThis is what happens when you let #cancelculture spin out of control. It's the same attitude, just taken a little f… https://t.co/7oowN5qQObTrump said yesterday the virus is going to disappear one day like a miracle. Really, Mr. President? Because just h… https://t.co/Cx8Ez2wiDp#StartTheClock: @BillMaher is LIVE with Dr. @arimoin, @NickKristof, @EJDionne, @BuckSexton + @janekleeb on… https://t.co/D7DZw9CQh6
Retweeted by Bill Maher
2/29
2020
FRIDAY: @BillMaher is back with @arimoin @NickKristof @EJDionne @BuckSexton + @janekleeb on #RealTime @HBO! Ask a… https://t.co/RtokTy9Zrf
Retweeted by Bill Maher
2/27
2020
And please god all of you stop saying “I’m the only one up here who...”. Cuz I bet I’m not the only one down here w… https://t.co/V0os0ltJreAlso, I despise the media and their single minded focus on making every debate a cockfight. And Dems wld be better… https://t.co/vNwLe2Cjn2While the world burns, melts and gets sick these children and opportunists running for president talk about a dirty… https://t.co/EVkQn2yKssI worry that President Mayor from "Jaws" is so concerned that the shark/corona virus will close the beach/tank the… https://t.co/1eWEglAR5g
2/26
2020
TONIGHT! Bill Maher brings his stand up live on stage. Doors open at 7. Come early, show starts promptly at 8pm! Ti… https://t.co/pWQbVdwsfK
Retweeted by Bill Maher
2/22
2020
Here's a tidbit in the news today: in E Jean Carroll's suit against Trump, he may be required to submit a DNA sampl… https://t.co/nlhdPGJvtAWow, this is playoff basketball out there tonight. You come into the lane, expect to get fouled hard. #JordanRules
2/20
2020
Love Pete, but part of my editorial on this was: No! We don’t have to win big! Dems only have to win by one vote ju… https://t.co/Wmlu9Bs8K1
2/19
2020
Bloomberg has got ads everywhere. They're on Facebook. They're on YouTube. They're on television. I saw one on Porn… https://t.co/5Op0L7K6PjHere on Valentine’s Night, every couple must ask themselves: Do you have an unhealthy relationship with technology?… https://t.co/JBuFxMuSfD#StartTheClock: @BillMaher is LIVE with Sen. @AmyKlobuchar, @katiecouric, @VanJones68, #BretStephens + Rep.… https://t.co/yvsScxLInP
Retweeted by Bill Maher
2/15
2020
FRIDAY: @BillMaher will be LIVE with Senator @AmyKlobuchar and Congresswoman @PramilaJayapal + @katiecourichttps://t.co/NkCCOK0qZw
Retweeted by Bill Maher
2/13
2020
Bill Maher to @FareedZakaria on President Trump: “The worst thing that could possibly have happened, that we all fe… https://t.co/ve54zHM4LO
Retweeted by Bill Maher
2/12
2020
Yes! I was rooting for Joker to win! Big week for sociopaths in face paint.
2/10
2020
"The Bernie people helped make Trump president and they're going to help make him president again." Watch Steve B… https://t.co/I1lCbk81e6
Retweeted by Bill Maher
2/9
2020
If you see Trump now on Fifth Avenue with a gun, walk the other way. #JustSaying https://t.co/1FZ5gbIJ9yRepublicans have to admit they don’t just hate Democrats; they hate democracy. #MoscowMitch @GOP /… https://t.co/FqjWxw8UzF#StartTheClock: @BillMaher is LIVE with #SteveBannon, @AndrewGillum, @whignewtons, @ezraklein + @FareedZakaria on… https://t.co/t9L7QxRdlm
Retweeted by Bill MaherA reason to consider Amy: because whoever was behind that debacle in Iowa would get a stapler straight to the foreh… https://t.co/AfSo9rJ8j8
2/8
2020
For months, it was 'Iowa isn't representative, so its terrible that the winner there gets a big bounce!' Now its 'T… https://t.co/cEY4eSSl9k
2/7
2020
..if Trump crashes and burns at some point, one man will be left in the party to maybe, finally fulfill the ultimate Mormon dream.So Mitt is the latest newfound Republican hero of the Democrats. I heard someone on TV say "he's known to be a man… https://t.co/iZ338d2whF
2/6
2020
FRIDAY: @BillMaher will be LIVE with Steve Bannon, @FareedZakaria @AndrewGillum @whignewtons + @ezraklein on… https://t.co/YZLsoVMqZg
Retweeted by Bill MaherGotta say, whoever convinced Trump to not gloat or mention getting acquited and to just stick to lying about his ac… https://t.co/6R3aatSGsVThis State of Union must have been produced by Mark Burnett.Now would be a good time for Democrats to take my advice last Friday and start yelling “You lie!”Republicans sure do love anecdotal help for black folks.Ivanka’s roots are showing. No, I’m listening.Wow, looks like Joe Biden's argument for being the most electable, based on his long history of running for preside… https://t.co/stN0DtOTTB
2/5
2020
...the fate of the republic but at the end of the day decided, "Nah, its not worth fucking with my book sales." Now THAT's America in 2020....that John Bolton was totally free to speak at any point, being the guy who could demolish the last standing Repu… https://t.co/XouRXVME94...while the president is Republican. That the simple truth about democracy is you can't argue with the will of the… https://t.co/xSOISnKTXCThis was a tough week, and I just need to vent a little more about finding out that abuse of power isn't a thing no… https://t.co/cJUMLpWCuD
2/2
2020
Good point, @BillMaher. I am ready to have that debate. https://t.co/KQawSff0Tv
Retweeted by Bill MaherWe lost Democracy this week, and I feel like I'm standing over a casket and thinking I should have been nicer when… https://t.co/97WfBkPSKLFinally Leaked! @realDonaldTrump #Russia #PeeTape #SteeleDossier #MakeItRain #KAG2020 @RealTimers https://t.co/LnudIJwBjI#WhatsWrongWithTrump? #2020election #AmericaNeeds #SuperBowlAds #TrumpAd https://t.co/uVsudEQwON.@TheDemocrats must stop talking about playing as dirty as the Republicans and actually start doing it.… https://t.co/nzDaK3VYl5#StartTheClock: @BillMaher is LIVE with @PeteButtigieg, @MitchLandrieu, @MikieSherrill, @TheRickWilson +… https://t.co/W5GZ5xWKJg
Retweeted by Bill Maher
2/1
2020
FRIDAY: @BillMaher will be LIVE with @PeteButtigieg @MichaelEDyson @MikieSherrill @MitchLandrieu + @TheRickWilson o… https://t.co/47NhKHYaxM
Retweeted by Bill Maher
1/30
2020
A terrifically kind man, Animalkind, and smart as a whip. Here I am with PETA Honorary Director @BillMaher on last… https://t.co/gnRtsescCP
Retweeted by Bill Maher
1/29
2020
No matter what President Trump does, he will get a full exoneration from the Senate Republicans. And therein lies t… https://t.co/ijTng3vDLoI keep saying that if Trump loses the election in November, he's not going to leave. And I'll tell you why I keep s… https://t.co/f9kGfBpmf1#StartTheClock: @BillMaher is LIVE with @megynkelly, @alexwagner, @McFaul, @EWErickson + @IngridNewkirk on… https://t.co/zJ5z7oPCOC
Retweeted by Bill Maher
1/25
2020
I know there are more important things going on, but did Trump really say Elon Musk "does good at rockets"? He tal… https://t.co/2CRMEfWwqZ
1/24
2020
About Hillary's comments on Bernie and getting the Democrats fighting with each other: rethinking the whole "Lock h… https://t.co/8eiRprhcW9The best thing to come out of "Politically Incorrect"! https://t.co/QA2sZNH3hL
1/23
2020
FRIDAY: @BillMaher will be LIVE with @megynkelly @alexwagner @EWErickson @McFaul + @PETA prez @IngridNewkirk on… https://t.co/DnQ3w91iLU
Retweeted by Bill Maher.@MegynKelly to Make First Appearance on #RealTime With @BillMaher (Exclusive) https://t.co/jJugMjBADS @RealTimers
Retweeted by Bill Maher
1/22
2020
Thank you everybody who wished me happy birthday today - yes, I read my feed today! - and remember, one year from t… https://t.co/IDtMkTWxzpThe American people agree: the Senate needs to see the witnesses and documents that President Trump blocked in the… https://t.co/F7i88i0v06
Retweeted by Bill Maher
1/20
2020
Congratulations to Meghan and Harry for taking my advice last night - wink wink - and going all the way! #BarelyRegal.
1/19
2020
This is the year. This is 2020 and there are only three ways Trump goes: impeachment, election, or fried chicken. A… https://t.co/6d7N84mN50What could be more antithetical to liberalism than calling another human Your Highness? #Megxit #SJW #RealTime https://t.co/EggsiselUM"It wasn't a question of his being worth it. The Constitution was worth it. He had to be impeached." Watch… https://t.co/KxEb75dpSI
Retweeted by Bill Maher#StartTheClock: a new season of #RealTime with @BillMaher is LIVE on @HBO feat. @SpeakerPelosi, @jmeacham,… https://t.co/KH62B39nLp
Retweeted by Bill Maher
1/18
2020
A new season of #RealTime with @BillMaher begins next Friday at 10PM. Watch the premiere feat. @SpeakerPelosihttps://t.co/6LX66ZmgSs
Retweeted by Bill MaherIf one more candidate up there tonight says "The real question is" "the real issue is", I'm going to...I'm going to… https://t.co/22h8TXSmWm
1/15
2020
Dems shld stop talking about Soleimani - no one not already with you cares that Trump, an impulsive liar, took him… https://t.co/RKF0i6lVv6
1/14
2020
Isn't it funny how the popularity of Bernie and Biden with the young is so opposite? Its like Bernie is the cool Gr… https://t.co/z6o9MGsaqR
1/12
2020
HUGE IF TRUE (It’s true!) https://t.co/D1FZU3yCMK
Retweeted by Bill Maher
1/10
2019
Last night after the show in Maui. Some of these people were not even paid, ahem... Thank u for supporting us, fabu… https://t.co/8K6mj5s1xi
12/31
2019
Not gonna lie - I live all year for Hawaii at New Years! https://t.co/PI2P5AIq4M
12/29
2019
Merry Christmas! He is risen! Oh, no, that's the other one. Sorry. He is born! After a pregnant lady took a 90 mile… https://t.co/UTth0D77itMy Xmas message from 2010 – unfortunately in the Age of Trump, it applies more than ever. Merry Christmyth! https://t.co/XqzMuOwUMZ
Retweeted by Bill Maher
12/25
2019
Even if you agree with impeachment, anyone who can listen to people day after day after day saying the same thing o… https://t.co/3EickMSUlA
12/20
2019
Rick Santorum just said on CNN Republicans impeached Clinton because they were "woke" MeToo pioneers gallantly defe… https://t.co/lqXupi5s5a
12/19
2019

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