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Putting the pun in pundit. Satirist at @DuffelBlog and @Reductress, Soldier, storyteller, exaggerater.

4,053 Following   11,142 Followers   11,082 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/27/15


@ArmyStrang @AnchoredDuval https://t.co/2pLmMNopAO @ForcePao For some reason no @Empowlr @aarondleong Definitely a cake @leeeway27 https://t.co/ZEUw6cbcAq @altDoD_ https://t.co/oY3XIeCNu8
1/27
2020
@AnchoredDuval Okay, but it’s military special brand rumRum sodomy and the lash pick two
1/26
2020
@WingedDevyl @KstSuit I’d think you’d want a dog that strictly follows your laws based on the best available interpretation. @adownie @terrancesavery Paleo I think @terrancesavery Right but did he CrossFit? @branflakes4evr I dunno like every O6 I’ve ever met can’t wait to get out of the army.It’s all true. https://t.co/23ZGlBylpF @LaJollaAntifa And Space Force. @WerIstDeinPa Maybe with some rat if you’re lucky. @LaJollaAntifa So you’re saying the normies get constipation from bread and water, but the gluten intolerant get di… https://t.co/fYhduSS8gK @LaJollaAntifa This is the best take so far. @IBMninja I guess you could give them an MRE. That sounds way worse. @Door_Gunner Veteran - owned craft bakery @HemiBParks LaCroix! @jgb00m @DouglasOllivant You mean White Claw? @jgb00m Better or worse than sodomy and the lash? @ollygollymolly Unflavored laCroix?
1/25
2020
@jgb00m Do they have to have a documented intolerance? Is it choice? What about diabetics? Lots of reasons you might not want bread. @B_g2w They look dry @jgb00m Then is it bread and water? Because i feel like that rule is super specific in the UCMJ. @B_g2w Are gift cards tasty?Not sure where we are on military PC culture. If I send someone to the brig with bread and water as punishment, do… https://t.co/05kx4Dg4mj @Trevorbiscuit @bayouwilson 1sGT hAteS Me @KstSuit Elena Kagan
1/24
2020
@S1Your https://t.co/ZcDYQJysAH @SoupAlphabet1 @CTRSteve This is amazingSo how did we get a space Force before this was fixed? https://t.co/vl4irUIsxe @ZeroBlog30 @katebarstool Simple GreenThrowback: one of my alltime favorite Duffel Blog stories. #NoQuarter #ClassicDB https://t.co/PKZENWim0t
1/23
2020
@madpadre1 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 @twenty2yrstis @KstSuit This feels like Daddy issues.Not sure I still go for state’s rights. I’d like to vote on my congressional representation based on subreddit. @Ungwhim_Gwhent *nods in Trotsky* @JasonChaplin13 Unattended TA-50 is highly susceptible to grassroots communism @pptsapper Goddamn marxists. @PerpetualCPT @DuffelBlog You earned it, buddy. @NicholasHeurich A really short one. @JohnTOCradio Bring 👏🏻back👏🏻chapeau de bras 👏🏻with 👏🏻 branch 👏🏻 cockadeThere’s only one thief in the army. Everyone else just believes in the redistribution of wealth throughout the prol… https://t.co/cbYTnVCHzNAnother shoutout for @DuffelBlog in a not very hilarious place. https://t.co/OePWn5k09b
1/22
2020
@Falsemotive It was a team effort, for sure. @JABell27 Looks like one of mine I guess. https://t.co/ct9LWCO5YE @bayouwilson As soon as the fake stream media accepts us for the brilliant journalists we are.
1/21
2020
ENTITLED? This MILLENNIAL Went to SCHOOL for THREE WEEKS and Wants To Be Praised FOREVER https://t.co/6Wn5cJFDzK https://t.co/aboPQAJAI8
Retweeted by Blondes Over BaghdadCongrats, ladies! Learn all about the new maternity uniform in my latest duffel blerg story. https://t.co/n5JQ5NcL0c
1/20
2020
Woof. https://t.co/MbYeIo6ynx
1/19
2020
@DuplessisBrad @ZaknafienDC https://t.co/s74PXdkywB.hamster cafe. @ZaknafienDC I remain a Squeakers the OPSEC hamster loyalist.
1/17
2020
@cgpoag Dude, that’s why it’s cool. It’s like sinking your yacht for fun. @SarahQuerry https://t.co/wbqVdkVPoH @pfcilng Hey army https://t.co/pgp5s9UGyGGotta stop calling retirement ceremonies “the mic drop.” @ollygollymolly @JoeIra4 Right, but they did it with class. @UnqualifiedE Nope rope. @AcmeHuntingGear LMAO.
1/14
2020
@GPatrick @get_it_maggie So much empirical evidence to the contrary.Honestly, very few of us need to spring into combat training, but many of us have foot problems from wearing boots.… https://t.co/AaAAUSj3N8Another day passses and I don’t think we are gaining ground in the war on snakes. @BishopTomBishop Or grabby raccoons! @HeckSpawn Nine if you use stays. @GPatrick @get_it_maggie Guys, just remember to empty these at the airport. I might snap if i have to see y’all get… https://t.co/vCqeYWVdY3 @featherplus68 Been there. Tho I kind of prefer the armpit tuck. @YorkVol Where will you put your tots? @jgb00m @adownie For SUPPLIES. @GrizzlyPolitic Finally! You dont have to chose when you carry that multi tool. @MTMeahl @K_D_Campbell The time is now. @Trevorbiscuit That’s a pretty idea, actually. Can we get this, @PEOSoldier ?Worse than cargo shorts? You decide. https://t.co/NHdOpDbLw1
1/13
2020
@DrTraceyK Oh, man. That’s too much! @HansonJolene You’re welcome @CompanyGradeMil I’m living that life. 😎 @DrTraceyK That’s brutal, yet hilarious. It’s true! He didn’t get his flu shot! @Actionj123 I lost my breath for a second and then laughed so hard. @EINS_Institute https://t.co/7BwD78qDKDOne thing that is very funny is when your friend dies, and then someone else gets issued their government phone, bu… https://t.co/wuu7kx9Ojy
1/12
2020
The few, the proud, the Mormons. https://t.co/4HApmt2RWx
1/11
2020
Cadets be like: https://t.co/VPg59r6iqw
Retweeted by Blondes Over Baghdad
1/10
2020
@HercFamily5 Dude, I hate that I have to break the third wall here, but this is a comedy account. @tc_quinn07 Til Valhalla, teef! @HercFamily5 Because it wasn’t 2020. @rirwin83 Did we just solve the war? @HercFamily5 THAT WAS DIFFERENT @Army_GA_Dad Totally legit. @light_six https://t.co/8maVTFkjr1 @jaydarnold https://t.co/J0hiVJt31W @MrGreenGenez @briancdarling Ranger school or dental? Which has a higher fail rate? @SwandriverKen That reminds me of a troop i knew (before tricare dental for reservists). Army dentist thought he ne… https://t.co/hxIVBvqyII @madpadre1 👍🏼
1/9
2020
Today I complete that most important, most challenging crucible of warrior preparedness: getting green on dental.So, now some places I’ve lived before have been hit by missiles. I just want to point out that it didn’t happen whe… https://t.co/W87iqujrOD @AEVanSaun Not the way my parents did it
1/8
2020
I don’t like throwaway COAs because I’m a middle child.No excuse not having a centerpiece if this counts as a centerpiece, I suppose. https://t.co/GBau9X4sfI
1/7
2020
@kyle_141 Nod. @SwandriverKen Yes!
1/6
2020

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