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Ben Acker @bnacker Hollywood, Los Angeles

creator of bespoke entertainment CUT AND RUN on Audible, organ theft romcom/Kid Midnight, linked, capes and FEELINGS/@ThrillingAdv/More. No puns, no actuallies

2,393 Following   18,135 Followers   57,842 Tweets

Joined Twitter 11/23/07

@klikkonthis Nope. Neither thing is my style. I am officially old because my knee hurts from sleeping and it’s okay…
My knee is killing me. I need Mr. Miyagi stat.If you think that’s gonna bait me to click, you’re wrong don’t know who needs to hear this but your dog could be taller. @dantelfer should be called “gigants” @AnyaVolz If only @markmcconville @paulandstorm @steveagee McConv you’re on fireWas there a time traveling Happy Days cartoon with a talking dog whose catch phrase was “wait for meeeeeeee”Good news! If you’re a stranger coming in to my timeline to say “I disagree with your tweet,” that’s an automatic mute!The modern image of Santa Claus was invented by the time traveling White Stripes.Lin Wood is if Trump were a small time monorail salesman.Tepid observations do not a hot take make.
@Caissie Me: to whoever successfully pitched this line in queen's gambit
Retweeted by Ben AckerJanet Yellen was the editor of her school newspaper who traditionally interviews the class valedictorian, also her.… tweet, it turns out. @janiehaddad feel like you're just going through the moshies? @zdarsky Who said free? @zdarsky Are you doing any readings of it?2020 is the gas leak year @johnmoe True!One thing about Total Eclipse of the Heart is that nearly every handful of words in it could have been the title. @johnmoe The old troupe trope! @benchten It ain't just a river in Egypt.That thing where you wake up too early but you can't go back to sleep but you can't wake up @slack2thefuture What's now? @ashleyn1cole unroll @carlacackowski sacrificing yourself to forest witches
Retweeted by Ben Acker @carlacackowski I appreciate that you took the night to sleep on a response.holy shit there’s more footage of the lady in the trump trials
Retweeted by Ben Acker @KimmyMonte that typo there because I’m all about customer service, unless that’s not allowed now either!!!Is driving my dog around exempt or not???This new stay at home order totally fucks my new business that I was opening tomorrow called In Person Workers.
Those showers where inspiration strikes so hard that it's writing your dialogue for you and you're like "fuck you,…"Are you not edutained?!" -@donttrythis, probably @heyadamlevin @carlacackowski Enjoyed your work on Bojack. @captainEmdud @baddestmamajama They just want to turn the screen. Never mind, that's dumb.This year, I am less sure about it.What kind of The Producers scheme is this?Oh my gosh! So fun! I wonder what’ll happen! Edge of my seat over here. @carlacackowski, my Parks and Rec spec came to life! @toddlevin If you see nothing, say something.Fund the non-police. Is that better? @averymonsen the greatest trick the nothing ever pulled was making us think it was something @daveanthony @blainecapatch Bodega Nights! @seancwatkins Right?Late to this party by either a few weeks or a few decades
@JimBoggia We're due one that doesn't go quietly. is a Christmas Christmas @LACarlos A BODEGA A SANDWICH? @kaichoyce @hatethedrake year's discussion of what constitutes a Christmas movie is expanding past the confines of cinema. Pineapple on… everything you know, because this is a song by Chumbawumba and ... and... @robsforman Preach. “This is exactly the thing we are tasked with finding. Now we have to see if they meant it when… @BillCorbett I’m maybe turning this into a different game. Sorry. @BillCorbett I don’t know why but it makes me laugh to think of DeVos getting a Scarface endingDude got denounced. Like formally denounced. That hardly ever happens. It’s gotta be so embarrassing. Like. If he h…“Guy who was never a Covid advisor resigns as Covid advisor” @ThatEricAlper “I’m an alligator.” - D. Bowie, a non-alligatorToday a ringtone became presidentUsing my checkmark powers for good- come on @BlueShieldCA! Step up! @whatrosasaid Rosa.Get Hal and put him in your thing!
Every time Biden rewins a state, he should get to start being President of it. @JoseMolinaTV @GeoffThorne What about a show where New York, the sixth character, is an inhuman remorseless sociopathSomeone's got a case of the 2020sIt’s like these Covid deniers simply haven’t heard of Occam’s razor.What if everyone who tweets a picture of the ring around the moon tonight disappears come the morning? @UberMitch You, a hyper-intellectualI haven't seen any The Undoing spoilers but I have seen a lot of bummed out reactions to them.Everyone: ... Literally everyone everywhere all the time: ... Me, an intellectual: Olivia Coleman was also fucking great in Hot Fuzz! @obrienjohnjack Sparks and Techs.Oh man, people are shrugging their minds over The Undoing!I made a disappointing dinner tonight. Guess I’ll try again tomorrowPlease. Mrs Doubtfire is my father. @greenedwardl Ugh.That said, Cary Elwes should have played Joker in Batman ‘89 @jonrog1 Which scripts did you write under the name EF Nibs?In my anxiety dream last night, the only breakfast food in my parents' house was that cereal they advertise for on podcasts. @JaredLogan I laughed really loudly at this tweet of yours, Jared."What do you mean you don't care who the best Joker is!?" -the internet, if it could talkI think it's neat that Postmates's slogan is 'fuck you.'I hope you enjoy The Undoing. I'm like you guys but for Fargo.
(I don’t know what this means, don’t @ me)You know when you meet a kid who you is just a real village taker? @AtsukoComedy I couldn't believe it when that neighbor turned out to be the wizard's landlord in The Wizard's Landlord! @AtsukoComedy Have you seen The Pirate's Shoe Salesman?I haven't laughed this hard in a long long time. It's a hangaround, I didn't write more than some trivia questions.… even then, maybe notTrump supporters aren’t gonna be happy until Trump personally comes to their town, does his yells and pouts show, t… a Jew I always feel really left out during the scene in Die Hard where the dead guy's wearing this sweater so I…
Retweeted by Ben AckerPacific Blue did not have nearly enough giant robots @tonythaxton Oh hey. Actual 7pm has big midnight energy lately. Maybe they body swapped.