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Ben Acker @bnacker Los Feliz, LA, CA

He/Creator of bespoke entertainment: organ theftcom CUT+RUN (Audible), capes+feels KID MIDNIGHT (linked), @ThrillingAdv. No puns no actuallies/Him

2,495 Following   18,367 Followers   61,483 Tweets

Joined Twitter 11/23/07


@BillCorbett A full set. So. Two.
12/7
2021
I'm going out for dumplings and the new Wes Anderson later like full-on self-care fanfic.Guys I’m fkn dying this is the best https://t.co/oZxldLo00A
Retweeted by Ben Acker
12/6
2021
Coyote finally catches and eats Roadrunner. Roadrunner’s ghost chases Coyote forever.Come on, bees. https://t.co/bv0zLsD4so @paulandstorm Not you https://t.co/ywz7UESZYmI wish I got to see Paul try on shoesThis is, accidentally, Trump's first ever accurate statement on the legitimacy of the 2020 election https://t.co/Riq73UgGNg
Retweeted by Ben Acker
12/5
2021
I hope CNN had the sense to replace Cuomo with Levar Burton. @LaurenFlans You gotta wake up the sheeple a little at a time, not all at once.Autocorrect. I will never ever talk about shoes. I will always talk about shows. Please. Be with me on this.Which four Disney princesses are the ones with IBS?Watching Witcher. Pretending his name is Richard and everyone is mispronouncing it and that’s why he’s so angry.I cannot with the name Crumbleys. Some Harry Potter shit. @WendyMolyneux Wanna get another mad? Clock the jokes at the expense of adoptees.You utter turnips.Just go watch the Beatles, you awful cops.The people passing by and getting to hear the rooftop concert were all “holy shit, that’s The Beatles and Billy Preston!”Gods I forgot how much I loved that one shot comic Star Wars: The Storms of Crait Luke vs Kreel #StarWarshttps://t.co/YTBo7fLiX4
Retweeted by Ben AckerCOVID Update: The anti-vaccine natural herd immunity-just go get COVID crowd has met their match … with reality. 1/
Retweeted by Ben Acker
12/4
2021
@IAmJohnAles @TheChaosChick @DuckDonuts @VoodooDoughnut This is not a sponsored tweet but Sidecar does great work, donutwise.“And also,” she added “if they couldn’t get pregnant, the same holds true.”It was Gloria Steinem who said “if men could get pregnant, they’d be a bunch of piss-ass shitnecks. Real fuckity-fu… https://t.co/5SEvzk0n0UGood morning https://t.co/9dhI16gFz6RUN! https://t.co/EFG4FQEu7nHappy belated birthday, Real Genius!
12/3
2021
@gerryconway Terms of Service is one of my favorite comics!Or Dead Ass
12/2
2021
I have been lucky enough to have only been pregnant twice, each one resulting in a human being that I love deeply a… https://t.co/mTz6epGOdI
Retweeted by Ben Acker @isthisPBosch @haleshannon We can all agree on fur coats and hot PaulFunny and educational. https://t.co/MuWGzCXlHrRewriting: mish accomped. #WritingIsGreat
12/1
2021
“Life is hard / not fair” in different languages: 5. Life is not a pony farm (German) 4. Life is not a little feat… https://t.co/ac1OIY3egB
Retweeted by Ben AckerFinished writing the last little bit of the last little bit. And now (tomorrow)... rewriting! #WritingIsGreatYou're right. I should have saved this tweet for after Thanksgiving. I just wanted to make sure it made it out for awards season.My best friend’s older brother’s friend from camp says a licorice pizza is when, during sex, you shit on a record player.
11/30
2021
@rivbutcher I'm going to wait until I hear what sources unfamiliar with it have to say.Spectrum, baby, you got to chill. @courtenlow It's "JoJo was a man who thought he was Ed Asner."Is there an X-Men called Smokeshow? @edbrisson Is that really the poster? @Hannesph @EvanGore ?In episode two, when Ringo and Paul are dicking around on the piano together and it’s pure joy and then Paul goes t… https://t.co/lNqwVWBmoS @shawnabenson Fuck. Condolences.You gotta admire Clifford's owners for not calling him something like Big Red. @Oliver_Vaquer No video, but watch this: My name. Is Michael Caine.Compared to everyone else at Thanksgiving, my Michael Caine impression was the best.(it's not that good)
11/29
2021
@RobotJQ I knew it would be someone, but I never thought it would be you!People are saying “100%” instead of “yes” now. What’s next? People saying “0%” instead of “no?”“I invented Twitter so that someday everyone would know everyone else’s opinion of Spider-Man 2.” John Charles Twitter @stereogum Um. Bri. Don’t look now, but you’re literally not woke enough today.Not enough people are crediting Sondheim for teaching grown-ass theater audiences about who Cinderella was from when they were kids“Dr. Strange should have been played by a New Yorker!” Scorsese said before starting into the middle distance, glaz… https://t.co/ZyO9yt4ekt
11/28
2021
@DemiLardner You did itWhat does this sentence mean? https://t.co/1RHBoP1CNN
11/27
2021
@tammygolden Way to stick it to representationWhy didn’t anyone tell me Leto was playing Denis Franz in the Gucci movie? I love Denis Franz! @magicmikecastle Oh my gosh! For sure, probably! @dreamwisp @jasonsegel I liked it too!
11/26
2021
“You check in for your flight?” #DadSmallTalk“Hows the battery life on that phone?” #DadSmallTalkYou’re all missing outhttps://t.co/DBEaeAx1CUWhen I packed melatonin for this trip, I told it "I value you."
11/25
2021
My Lyft driver just told another driver who was taking too long at a stop sign “it’s just a sign, not a way of life.”I hate tweets that are like “I can’t wait to announce the thing I’m working on” so this isn’t one even though, you know, it’s very exciting.Tonight I learned everyone in my family loves a bad movie called Remember the Titans.Just found out that my father was the Divorce King of Arlington, Virginia in 1976 @fox13 fuck you. @EdASalazar @pauljaycomic Remember him on that episode of Justified? Perfect.
11/24
2021
Fucking nepotismI asked him to put the regular siri voice back. He asked for me to give him a minute, then gave up.Somehow my Google maps/siri voice got switched to a dude voice and he is terrible. I asked him the temperature in S… https://t.co/1OQT0qCxj7
11/23
2021
No need, Twitter. @emtothea "I know there's an audience for MRMs!" -Riddles Scott @emtothea I've never seen a trailer so utterly https://t.co/jYvvvkKKzoDoes Rhapsody in Blue do a “good evening friends” in the middle?Ice cold in my house, but like walking into a hair dryer outside.Jesus Christ https://t.co/u8Q3uVP72WNobody has more contempt for their audience than whoever wrote the tagline for the new GdT film, which is “for ever… https://t.co/sMdS3THQUQ
11/22
2021
@jackiekashian Also thank you! #manners @jackiekashian Sincerely the profound levels and the silly levels occurring at the same time are just damned impres… https://t.co/LRN0agBZ2eGoddamn. @jackiekashian’s new album Stay-Kashian is epic. It’s great. Every single person I’ve seen talking about it is right. @thebrilliantHQ @alieward @Ologies "I would rate it 5 stars, but I'm saving that for if there's a podcast that's ex… https://t.co/D1viunGcSC @thebrilliantHQ @alieward @Ologies what are you holding out for? @thebrilliantHQ @alieward @Ologies just rate it 5 stars, you jerks.Wow, this Beatles doc is eye-opening. https://t.co/KGH4ESfEbm
Retweeted by Ben Acker @JayFaerber Maybe! Do you think your high school sweetheart might be secretly Santa? @JayFaerber Oh my gosh do you think you’re secretly Santa Claus??? @PatrickMillsaps @GenevieveAngel Then probably don’tJust finished a writing a thing that's been kicking my ass. In fairness, I ended up kicking its ass too a little. #WritingIsGreat
11/21
2021
@OMGmelizabeth zero percent.Weird when someone you follow despite their taste likes a thing you like.In case you needed to be reminded of this after today's verdict. https://t.co/CufF7l3vtw
Retweeted by Ben Acker
11/20
2021
Several toads want scorpion for intern. https://t.co/aeRpn0eHL3Protip: now is not the time for your Kickstarter post, Jason.Guilty piece of shit found not guilty, despite guilt.Is a blood moon for werewolves or vampires? @elsplice You can’t fool me. Those are water coolers
11/19
2021

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