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I break, I cry. You break, you buy. Professional Chef, annoying.

519 Following   2,643 Followers   27,290 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/22/09

@StevenRayMorris Let’s do this @MortatiArt @grotesqueego I didn’t make them yet eeee. You doing tattoos at home? :) @LolaBink Did you listen to the Mormon lpotl?
2 weeks into July hell yeah @BrideOfMickey I don’t do instantpots! There’s no room. @ipedaltahoe That’s what it is! Why is it called thisAgain I wait for the melatonin to sink its claws into my bloodstream and take me under @asupersonicman It is wonderful and physically painful?????This might seem dumb because I’m a chef but buying groceries for my family makes me feel good and when my boyfriend… to all cops @eloiselebel Omg I Used to see Jonah everyday when he was filming Wolf Of Wall street, he lived across the tiny str… Springs is the best movie ever made?? @CA_Stella My tweet was supposed to say “Plam Sprongs” :( @MortatiArt Oh sorry I asked you about this in a tweet :( @CA_Stella Let’s do erMy mom gave me a crock pot recipe and it’s so un-fancy and uncheffy it’s liberating to make. Chuck Roast (1 pound?… @asupersonicman Haha lets gooooo!!! @steelydamnnn As a chef I need more information @asupersonicman I am going to watch it again right now @asupersonicman ME TOO MY GODThe fucking perfection of the use of this song made me cry hysterical tears like the wet and heavy kind and it feel… @StevenRayMorris you are my favorite person I’ve ever met @MortatiArt @grotesqueego Do you work or are y’all shutting down again I’m happy to deliver to mid city !!Palm Springs is so good I want to have sex with these 2 @ohsarabeth Oh okWhy is it crunchyCut my life into pieces Because I am a cakeI miss my boyfriend he’s in the other room editing podcastsMy brain is broken my god please. Please tell your friends you love them. Tell those in your community who matter to you how much y…
Retweeted by brenna dodgson whitei am an absolute idiot but i just cried laughing at this
Retweeted by brenna dodgson whiteO is definitely the best vowelCan’t wait to go to Palm Sprongs with my friends @Kappa_Kappa I get headaches from my halo constantlyFlirting with a mask on depends on your eye expression skillsI love forgetting to feed myselfIs fear of shipping things a real thing because I have it @georgeshuman6 On the roller coaster
I’ve been threatening to make cinnamon rolls for weeks and I’m gonna do it they will be vegan who wants oneI love that Luna calls my dad “Cram-pah” @alasuitcase ❤️Gonna cruise Zillow just to feel something @sylvyfernandez Hell yeah SilvyyThe other day I had a dream Ben Schwartz dumped and shamed me so um he can go to hell @alasuitcase This is exactly what I was referencingWish I were on a rollercoaster with a strong wind in my hair and screams in my heartLunA CYTFH IN DNN N MSSXG SO OH JS JK GET AS DEF HJJ IN FDA XX CB MOM MOM XFHX WE DOG GG’S ER
Retweeted by brenna dodgson whiteI miss the fyre festivalWatching Bobby’s World like it’s Saturday morning @MiaResella @OmarNajam Sometimes lil jokes between your friends just stick with you @MiaResella @OmarNajam Is it weird I remember these or is it nice they are in my comedy memory @OmarNajam @MiaResella Whatever it taks @eloiselebel When I finally ate at Sqirl I got the cheese tower with the jams and looked at the $18 jars and was like, who is this for??? @eloiselebel One time I moved to LA for a job and they delayed opening so I got odd jobs, one was for a bon appetit… @ColiseumSewage A gif is a gift @jesdaism I’m always curious - omg 6:40pm! It’s 11:53pm on Sunday from the past in a Covid-rampant CaliforniaChoosy moms choose gif (hard g) @alyssathorhamar Oh man I got a mani the last week of December and it lasted until April or May (the grow out) I co… @alyssathorhamar Love the nails and also everything @thebii @StevenRayMorris It’s a good questionMe with any friend in another country: what time is it thereAmazon: rate your experience Me: noA dark tweet: last night I was fling through my wedding guest book and got so excited thinking @mattyu signed it so… @StevenRayMorris Bring back the ponytail @StevenRayMorris This gif is from the day we met @LolaBink HahaaI am one of those incredibly annoying people who sometimes becomes convinced that something must be bad just becaus…
Retweeted by brenna dodgson white @AnnieGmoney_ Correct
I have a special fondness for the time I spent living in Reno and I wanna say rip to a real one @ohsarabeth I say “accident” because my nav took me to the wrong in n out, the one it took me to had no drive thru.… @ohsarabeth Omg I just drove by the Americana on accident and soooo many people were out, no distancing @jayruston @iheartguitar !!! @ApelTart Also makes sense @rhaylin Yeah isn’t it fun? It’s a treasureomg
Retweeted by brenna dodgson whiteWas just asked to make popcorn with the family machine @RDogTucker It’s like a mashupSometimes I think the lyrics to “higher love” are “bring me a pile of love”Think about There could be a pile of love @notSoIrishAmy5 I know it was funny @notSoIrishAmy5 No wife for ME and yes @Gennefer @jedijamesdean People have tagged me in hundreds of cake photos over the years and I’m like “I don’t *do*… @Josueing For the bed @A_rosedam Episode should be up by um Monday probablyI want a husband and a wife @JVillaBella @NSYNC I’ve been much closer to *NSYNC than bsbA wine glass I was a tween I had fantasies the Backstreet Boys would show up at my local theme park and we would roll toget… to not drink but alcohol is so yummy and it is a special treatWhat’s your favorite dolphin recipe I like mine with turkey nuggetsWe are ready to welcome guests back to Jurassic Park. ✨
Retweeted by brenna dodgson white @Gennefer @jedijamesdean It’s upsetting @elclimo So it was worth itMay I say jeezI burned my typing and scrolling thumb pretty bad at work but I will power thruJust did a cartwheel and nay I just say that my wrists and arms hurt @geoffwithahJ @brooklinen I can’t find a podcast discount code! Also tres priceyOn a podcast I said “I’m crying to tears” but that’s not what I meant - not editing it out @Emily8280 I called my mom and she told me to make my car payment @AliciaLove Also yes a wife would be nice