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I break, I cry. You break, you buy. Professional Chef, annoying.

519 Following   2,643 Followers   27,290 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/22/09


@StevenRayMorris Let’s do this @MortatiArt @grotesqueego I didn’t make them yet eeee. You doing tattoos at home? :) @LolaBink Did you listen to the Mormon lpotl?
7/15
2020
2 weeks into July hell yeah @BrideOfMickey I don’t do instantpots! There’s no room. @ipedaltahoe That’s what it is! Why is it called thisAgain I wait for the melatonin to sink its claws into my bloodstream and take me under @asupersonicman It is wonderful and physically painful?????This might seem dumb because I’m a chef but buying groceries for my family makes me feel good and when my boyfriend… https://t.co/EiCBrJnZjTMe to all cops https://t.co/b46pGLhEVH @eloiselebel Omg I Used to see Jonah everyday when he was filming Wolf Of Wall street, he lived across the tiny str… https://t.co/lRyMRvCjkPPalm Springs is the best movie ever made?? @CA_Stella My tweet was supposed to say “Plam Sprongs” :( @MortatiArt Oh sorry I asked you about this in a tweet :( @CA_Stella Let’s do erMy mom gave me a crock pot recipe and it’s so un-fancy and uncheffy it’s liberating to make. Chuck Roast (1 pound?… https://t.co/NGuFOmN2aC @asupersonicman Haha lets gooooo!!! @steelydamnnn As a chef I need more information @asupersonicman I am going to watch it again right now @asupersonicman ME TOO MY GODThe fucking perfection of the use of this song made me cry hysterical tears like the wet and heavy kind and it feel… https://t.co/7BYh4mg9fVHey @StevenRayMorris you are my favorite person I’ve ever met @MortatiArt @grotesqueego Do you work or are y’all shutting down again I’m happy to deliver to mid city !!Palm Springs is so good I want to have sex with these 2 @ohsarabeth Oh okWhy is it crunchyCut my life into pieces Because I am a cakeI miss my boyfriend he’s in the other room editing podcastsMy brain is broken https://t.co/o5pk82cPGXOh my god please. Please tell your friends you love them. Tell those in your community who matter to you how much y… https://t.co/SZzxCy5jHN
Retweeted by brenna dodgson whitei am an absolute idiot but i just cried laughing at this https://t.co/Hq9imNoOhv
Retweeted by brenna dodgson whiteO is definitely the best vowelCan’t wait to go to Palm Sprongs with my friends @Kappa_Kappa I get headaches from my halo constantlyFlirting with a mask on depends on your eye expression skillsI love forgetting to feed myselfIs fear of shipping things a real thing because I have it @georgeshuman6 On the roller coaster
7/14
2020
I’ve been threatening to make cinnamon rolls for weeks and I’m gonna do it they will be vegan who wants oneI love that Luna calls my dad “Cram-pah” @alasuitcase ❤️Gonna cruise Zillow just to feel something @sylvyfernandez Hell yeah SilvyyThe other day I had a dream Ben Schwartz dumped and shamed me so um he can go to hell @alasuitcase This is exactly what I was referencingWish I were on a rollercoaster with a strong wind in my hair and screams in my heartLunA CYTFH IN DNN N MSSXG SO OH JS JK GET AS DEF HJJ IN FDA XX CB MOM MOM XFHX WE DOG GG’S ER https://t.co/MyWz6dj63A
Retweeted by brenna dodgson whiteI miss the fyre festivalWatching Bobby’s World like it’s Saturday morning @MiaResella @OmarNajam Sometimes lil jokes between your friends just stick with you @MiaResella @OmarNajam Is it weird I remember these or is it nice they are in my comedy memory @OmarNajam @MiaResella Whatever it taks @eloiselebel When I finally ate at Sqirl I got the cheese tower with the jams and looked at the $18 jars and was like, who is this for??? @eloiselebel One time I moved to LA for a job and they delayed opening so I got odd jobs, one was for a bon appetit… https://t.co/DPn9HKAUwP @ColiseumSewage A gif is a gift @jesdaism I’m always curious - omg 6:40pm! It’s 11:53pm on Sunday from the past in a Covid-rampant CaliforniaChoosy moms choose gif (hard g) @alyssathorhamar Oh man I got a mani the last week of December and it lasted until April or May (the grow out) I co… https://t.co/7l4tn8FCD9 @alyssathorhamar Love the nails and also everything @thebii @StevenRayMorris It’s a good questionMe with any friend in another country: what time is it thereAmazon: rate your experience Me: noA dark tweet: last night I was fling through my wedding guest book and got so excited thinking @mattyu signed it so… https://t.co/CnPsLaXeHX @StevenRayMorris Bring back the ponytail @StevenRayMorris This gif is from the day we met @LolaBink HahaaI am one of those incredibly annoying people who sometimes becomes convinced that something must be bad just becaus… https://t.co/tP1lwrcP5o
Retweeted by brenna dodgson white @AnnieGmoney_ Correct
7/13
2020
I have a special fondness for the time I spent living in Reno and I wanna say rip to a real one https://t.co/guk4RQ1TsL @ohsarabeth I say “accident” because my nav took me to the wrong in n out, the one it took me to had no drive thru.… https://t.co/FF3Py52PVQ @ohsarabeth Omg I just drove by the Americana on accident and soooo many people were out, no distancing @jayruston @iheartguitar !!! @ApelTart Also makes sense @rhaylin Yeah isn’t it fun? It’s a treasureomg https://t.co/6P6ZBvNwQ7
Retweeted by brenna dodgson whiteWas just asked to make popcorn with the family machine https://t.co/xJVnC5SXgZ @RDogTucker It’s like a mashupSometimes I think the lyrics to “higher love” are “bring me a pile of love”Think about There could be a pile of love @notSoIrishAmy5 I know it was funny @notSoIrishAmy5 No wife for ME and yes @Gennefer @jedijamesdean People have tagged me in hundreds of cake photos over the years and I’m like “I don’t *do*… https://t.co/MrMfpWwwWv @Josueing For the bed @A_rosedam Episode should be up by um Monday probablyI want a husband and a wife @JVillaBella @NSYNC I’ve been much closer to *NSYNC than bsbA wine glass https://t.co/muCIQ0CLb3When I was a tween I had fantasies the Backstreet Boys would show up at my local theme park and we would roll toget… https://t.co/QnHk41oehiTrying to not drink but alcohol is so yummy and it is a special treatWhat’s your favorite dolphin recipe I like mine with turkey nuggetsWe are ready to welcome guests back to Jurassic Park. ✨ https://t.co/kHSqTpkWSB
Retweeted by brenna dodgson white @Gennefer @jedijamesdean It’s upsetting @elclimo So it was worth itMay I say jeezI burned my typing and scrolling thumb pretty bad at work but I will power thruJust did a cartwheel and nay I just say that my wrists and arms hurt @geoffwithahJ @brooklinen I can’t find a podcast discount code! Also tres priceyOn a podcast I said “I’m crying to tears” but that’s not what I meant - not editing it out @Emily8280 I called my mom and she told me to make my car payment @AliciaLove Also yes a wife would be nice
7/12
2020

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