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A rat's bastard, cynical stunt poet, and word fencer...Oh, and I make stuff...and pay my taxes fairly.

139 Following   14 Followers   1,440 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/24/11


@WINGSPANTT @EveEchoes FYI, the question was: "When is Wormhole space coming"? The question was not: "I want Wormh… https://t.co/ySwFzmH3YH @J_KeyPooh @M_Iddings @BillFOXLA @VenturaReport @FOXLA Yes, this! That comment in the notice about limiting "extend… https://t.co/KZGZxXDIff @AthulKAcharya Extended End of Watch, isn't that the time they spend booking some innocent black guy that they ripp… https://t.co/9YC740EqMg @realDonaldTrump Bulshit, as soon as your roller coaster ride of a presidency is over the stock market will normali… https://t.co/mzlUFL0yAuTrump uses the word 'unfair' to describe any situation where it's hard for him to break the rules
Retweeted by Captain -pays more taxes than Trump- Coffee @EveEchoes When is wormhole space coming?!
10/21
2020
Speaking as a recovering Democratic cannibal and Satanist baby-strangler, I'd like to thank QAnon and Fox News for… https://t.co/5dJUMYFEDa
Retweeted by Captain -pays more taxes than Trump- CoffeeIt is very hard to have crucial conversations about over-punitiveness and sexual harm when the loudest voices in th… https://t.co/CnfHqvK0vk
Retweeted by Captain -pays more taxes than Trump- Coffee @ManuIntiraymi Looks like your...bird...is bigger than mine. Testing top of their new pyramid coop for fit...they… https://t.co/2wDIqvXl74 @doramu @ManuIntiraymi Wrong, always get on the transporter with red shirts, if someone's going to buy it, it will be the red shirt.Sleep @birbigs https://t.co/5ucZItLu7m
10/20
2020
@BrentSpiner @bak_la_vah Number 1.. Make it Faux! https://t.co/ZkkHEgUYHg @BennettWriting @ShykiaBell @BrentSpiner @bak_la_vah Good wordplay effort...consider ending it.."the Brent a hack."
10/17
2020
For more than a year, Trump has been desperate to create a scandal around his opponent. He even tried to extort a… https://t.co/vCX27zAVHu
Retweeted by Captain -pays more taxes than Trump- Coffee @jaketapper @kellumdander Every useless rat bastard jerk MFR on the planet is a better person for Trump being on it… https://t.co/uX5v0UoVHJPeople refusing to vote for Biden are like https://t.co/5yxFWfoT6U
Retweeted by Captain -pays more taxes than Trump- Coffee @JohnCleese Sir, as usual you have nailed the pulse of American politics, amazing giving that their hardly is a pul… https://t.co/zrEjvCiqml @dantoujours ...because everyone knows the FBI is normally Diligent about keeping informants updated with what they… https://t.co/wdro8lImxg @SteveHofstetter @chipfranklin Twit of course @GeorgeTakei @MaryLTrump And he doubled down on the dumb and shared it on Facebook as well... the man has no busine… https://t.co/yCuhsb6hM7 @GeorgeTakei @MaryLTrump There are 2 kinds of people on the internet, those who understand satire, and idiots who s… https://t.co/Vdu4ySk9Sy @chipfranklin President Trump forwarded a parody article on Facebook as if it was fact, and his kool-aid drinkers b… https://t.co/Nf2o0EX0Zi @chipfranklin Trump forwarded a parody article on Facebook as if it was fact, the man is an absolute moron, he has… https://t.co/8pVFgN1do5President of the United States forwarding a parody article as if it is fact, that's all you need to know. The man's… https://t.co/kpvTVYtf65
10/16
2020
@J_Pettie Following the law to the letter: California automobile license plate law states that plates must be plac… https://t.co/Es5EaJIqYa @ddale8 The entire world is merely a blank screen for him to project his own insecurities upon... It's blank to him… https://t.co/Kv0iOKuV8s
10/15
2020
@TheScottCharles Take away the tightrope, and that's me walking home drunk. @MJMcKean Very flanny @TKDano I prefer a wild goose chase actually! @audreyheffner2 @realDonaldTrump That sentence needed to finish... Quit while you're a dick head. @nkostelic I've trimmed my own hair twice now. Guilty is charged, I'm a hack, not a pro. And I very much wonder wha… https://t.co/9g1DDxBaxk @chipfranklin @realDonaldTrump Think you mean Go Home to his suite in Trump Tower Moscow, and he better get there b… https://t.co/pnoQGtYcIU
10/14
2020
@CodysLab I just now saw the notification on Twitter, heading over to YouTube to go see the video. I doubt YouTube… https://t.co/rkbi2x8Kbu @churchcunt Me: Any man who thinks he can hit another man, or woman, is never going to be equal to a human being. @Carol97623369 @ssemekim @TheRealHoarse @AndrewCMcCarthy Start with Kavanaugh, because he thinks rape is a f****** drinking game.
10/12
2020
@CrabsAndScience Restated perhaps? Pretty sure I'm not dead, but I'm not convinced this is living... @realDonaldTrump @FoxNews You've been packing away the courts faster than you can pack away KFC buckets, f*** you pig. @CodysLab Q. Why did the emu cross the milky way? A. Because it heard it was a gas on the other side. @politvidchannel If these guys win, we're going to wake up in January with zero power to continue causing profitable problems. @tuckwoodstock If a feral dog attacks you, or your family, pretty sure you're allowed to shoot it. How about feral pigs?As a matter of perspective, if even decades from now we meet and you mumble that you voted for this racist, selfish… https://t.co/I39bYZRcms
Retweeted by Captain -pays more taxes than Trump- Coffee
10/11
2020
@AthulKAcharya Means they're pedantics with no actual argument. @TKDano It will be the first time ever that we will suspect that a turkey is guilty of something. @TheScottCharles Definitely, keep the domestic terrorist jobs for white people! @AshaRangappa_ In California, if I recall correctly, when One conducts a citizen's arrest they would announce their… https://t.co/hgluFcUXJ0
10/10
2020
@WalshFreedom @realDonaldTrump Coward in Chief Bonespurs...#NewProfilePic https://t.co/RtGEWgLKWV
10/9
2020
@SenMikeLee You have just made yourself a traitor to democracy, step down from your democratically elected seat, ge… https://t.co/K71fpedSDY @SenMikeLee Are you suggesting that you do not support democracy?! Shoot yourself in the face and step down from your post.I think the fly that landed on Pence's bright white hair summed up the VP debate well. A fly knows BS when it smells it. @VP @KamalaHarris
10/8
2020
@chipfranklin 🎈 🎈 🎈🎈🎈🎈 🥮 🍦 🎁 👏 👏 🎆 🎇 🧨 🎆 🎇 🎈 🎈 🎈🎈🎈🎈 @RepMattGaetz @BarackObama @JoeBiden @HillaryClinton Giving aid and comfort to a treason is... Wait for it... Treason. @DannyZuker holy s***, did Stephen Miller accidentally get exposed to sunlight! @TheTweetOfGod He is roughly 95% swamp water.
10/7
2020
Trump does indeed follow patterns. Just like when he hid in the bunker when he felt threatened, he ran to Walter Re… https://t.co/vSPB3aescG @Christefur1 @SethAbramson He dropped his sunglasses that were previously hanging on his T-shirt neck, he picked th… https://t.co/ylwnuYJL0w
10/4
2020
@DanRather Grown men and women, leadership of our country, doesn't have the common sense to not spread a virus they… https://t.co/kK0zsmOOgQ @chipfranklin How many charges, 210000 and climbing, or just White House staff? Nobody's and losers, or just important people? @GeorgeTakei My God, who is handling the essential presidential duties of tweeting like a narcissistic child while… https://t.co/Awqc0gA2NqAm I missing it, or are there no tweets from Trump today? Has Pence been called to the field and handed the Tweet b… https://t.co/pp1CAugKDf @TKDano Probably keep it empty and waste taxpayer money cleaning it every single day just in case ... @SteveSchmidtSES "The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is a instrume… https://t.co/QgTx2rshOR
Retweeted by Captain -pays more taxes than Trump- Coffee @DanaBashCNN @SethAbramson If they are even slightly responsible for his horrible childish interruptive debate perf… https://t.co/KQ2aytbdAO @OmariJHardy The sweet irony if Donald Trump ends up being the next Statesperson laid out on those same steps as Ru… https://t.co/nXlDQs5WQjdoes america know our “radical left” is everywhere else’s “reasonable middle”
Retweeted by Captain -pays more taxes than Trump- Coffee @abbydphillip @JeriLRyan Food fight in an elementary school cafeteria...mashed potatoes and gravy day.https://t.co/iSUjzIBmOr https://t.co/saA3sf8zsuThe people who said we need to sacrifice grandma to keep bars open are now saying we need to cancel the presidentia… https://t.co/IegdbW2wc8
Retweeted by Captain -pays more taxes than Trump- Coffee @chipfranklin Injecting bleach into his neck veins would be much more effective... at eliminating the virus that is… https://t.co/LGCSMyTHWZ
10/3
2020
@TheTweetOfGod Has the correct social distancing requirement been established to keep a comfortable distance between church and state yet?How did the virus jump species like that?
Retweeted by Captain -pays more taxes than Trump- Coffee @indyfromspace Best sodas evahhhhh. Lightly bubbled, great flavors. https://t.co/OwcCWiaQxi @chipfranklin If he said it, it's a lie. @donwinslow I don't believe there's anything to worry about it all, covid only strikes down the old with pre-existi… https://t.co/P1rn9IU7x6 @realDonaldTrump @FLOTUS Or, if possible... Maybe you two could add to the hoax stats. Save us all a lot of trouble in November @CaslerNoel @PressSec A lot of people dont know the river flows alongside the Tallahassee Trail. @chipfranklin It runs alongside the Tallahassee trail. @Sethrogen Wabi Sabi Sake
10/2
2020
@SimoneGiertz In art school I taped ribbons and cat toys above the keys of a piano, recorded my cat Felix playing t… https://t.co/DhhsSV6wtX @chipfranklin TurRoacQuito...like a TurDucken..but made from an oversized turd stuffed into an overstuffed cockroac… https://t.co/bazCSmkD6Y @chipfranklin @realDonaldTrump "why would I allow anyone to change the rules in a manner that would force me to ab… https://t.co/VdcR6A6HCK @GeorgeTakei Frankly, re: kings, I don't have a clue why silly people stuff the disgusting, vile, vapid, watery...… https://t.co/JY2R2FbRH1"She also is a Rhodes scholar," Trump's @PressSec says of Amy Coney Barrett, who did not receive a Rhodes Scholarsh… https://t.co/3qvhruTbLm
Retweeted by Captain -pays more taxes than Trump- CoffeeThe only time @realDonaldTrump is silent is when he is asked to denounce Putin or white supremacists. Crickets... @JJakez_ @chipfranklin Obviously the first reply, just beat me, darn it :-) @GeorgeTakei The GOP will never feel as if elections are secure, until elections are canceled and they are allowed… https://t.co/OuCldbf2pe @realDonaldTrump Why would anybody think that you have the right to tell the debate commission what the hell to do?… https://t.co/Pu97HluFtK @realDonaldTrump This is why we have article 25, to make sure delusional presidents don't f****** our government. A… https://t.co/klB4u1EXvFI've been disappointed for many years that some people don't entirely agree with me about everything Frankly, I do… https://t.co/eGODdNIZFI
Retweeted by Captain -pays more taxes than Trump- Coffee"Argument Clinic" to be precise.Hey @JohnCleese I think Donald Trump plagiarized your Monty Python "Argument" Skit last night...the bloody git No he didn't. Yes he did. @ACShilton Holding out for almond or coconut rice... @Sethrogen https://t.co/RVXM3FvmXc
Retweeted by Captain -pays more taxes than Trump- Coffee @Sethrogen Just remember, if you're white and you don't agree with White Supremacists, they hate you too.
10/1
2020
@chipfranklin @CalltoActivism LOLOLOL...good one Chip. Dark humor. @MichaelEHayden These proud boys forget that there's a thing called Self-Defense. Sticking a gun in someone's face… https://t.co/TcHh0gxpdrThe person who told Biden to keep looking at the camera and addressing the viewers deserves a raise. Every time h… https://t.co/0hi4893xU4
Retweeted by Captain -pays more taxes than Trump- Coffee @KyleMorgenstein What about the color? Oh my this is totally messed up in its color organization. Light to dark man!!!I have chickens now, egg cartons are a thing of the past... or maybe a thing of the future if I get enough hens to… https://t.co/2DpfBo1ILN @barrylyga V is for C+%$
9/30
2020

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