Sign in with Twitter


Failed rock star. Luxury (lazy) footballer. Strong Continental Lager and Rioja Socialist. Woke do gooder. #3point5percent

2,715 Following   1,079 Followers   9,435 Tweets

Joined Twitter 11/26/10

No virtue signaling says corporation that put a poppy on the fucking Cookie Monster
Retweeted by Carl Masked 3.5% @19Mcculley *if @19Mcculley Jupiter is often the brightest object in the sky, other than the moon. But at this time it's Mars of it… @adamjrhawkins Thanks man ✊ @adamjrhawkins The pioneers of reggae @IainKelly73 @AndyMarrs @matt1536 day of news, both personally, and 2020 just being 2020...The Red wine is coming out... @deeokelly1 Stay strong and get well soon ✊ @miffythegamer A bloody goddess
FFS your energy for embarrassing the government fuckers didn't add Gift Aid puts on a hat @maccorcrain The number of bodies buried on his land...Joe Cole has clearly gone to the same clinic as Shane Warne and Darren Gough #KRACHE @redhead_ordead Your video looks like a live Rothko!ZIYECH!!! @tris_siam Ha...Werner is no nonsense. None of this stuttering rubbish, just wallop! @tris_siam Another pen 🙈
Retweeted by Carl Masked 3.5% @tris_siam Oi!!!! @Helen_Something Ooh...fancy! @Sgazmandoogle @jfbargh @lottyburns @DPJHodges Funny that the silent majority never shut the fuck up @McB00merang Evil Genius and In Our Time from BBC and Malcolm Galdwell's Revisionist History is great @unfortunatalie Fair enough @unfortunatalie Aluminium! @theribman Onglet @gremisch Thick Fury... perfect!After 2 weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest inner circle wit…, tears and corruption. This isn't about football, is it? @alexandrabulat @UCLEngage @UCLSSEES @the3million Well done! 👏👏👏
This is like receiving a “sorry about your nan” card from Harold Shipman
Retweeted by Carl Masked 3.5% @ThatCorbynista @agirlcalledlina This tweet was brought to you, in part, by the team that lied on a bus, illegally overspent campai… @FishGirls23 @lornaaaa_xo Holy shitballs...Dog sniffs a human excrement:
Retweeted by Carl Masked 3.5%Atalanta are just an absolute joy to watch, aren't they? #UefaChampionsLeagueLolz. Trying to justify this nonsense...and it's SOY FFS! @fesshole I thing you should divorce her @KonstantinKisin @toadmeister @SpeechUnion Hahaha...on commission, are you? @Sorrelish Willow's stashed them I reckon...emergency nose warmers! look at the state of mine! I just can't give th… @fesshole Stay away from sharp things
@julesbuddle The bulb went a couple of months ago and we've not bothered replacing it! @soapachu Totally agree. Some branded ones like Encona are definitely aggressively hot and the the ones with the ma… @soapachu Might be on the edge of the heat level required but it's packed full of flavour @soapachu This stuff is great #ToryFoodTips #ENDCHILDFOODPOVERTY lads knew 35 years ago #NASA #moon still has his nose firmly up Trump's arsehole...where are you tweeting this from, Nige? @dysmorphia_wb @bluestmoon_ Sea urchin is probably the worst for that...tasted pretty good but the texture is almos… @dysmorphia_wb @bluestmoon_ 28... there's not a lot I won't put in my gob @MJMcKean @ChrisFistonich
@bobthehat @MysterySolvent 🤣 👏👏👏"I feel I should apologise for my...", this. Absolutely nuts the hoops that people have to do just exercise their basic rights in the USA #VoteEarly food put out for spiney mammals, by a spineless mammal, than for the hungry kids #selfawareness @GeoffGuenther @EnglishmanAdam Ha, no! Went to see it with a friend and then a couple of days later on a date. I di… @1624Joe @samdclulow @AlanTho59976503 @ziggy6769 @JasonManford @MarcusRashford @AlanThomas Haha...absolute fucknuts, the pair of you. @AlanTho59976503 @1624Joe @samdclulow @ziggy6769 @JasonManford @MarcusRashford @AlanThomas Fuck me...poor people ar… @1624Joe @samdclulow @AlanTho59976503 @ziggy6769 @JasonManford @MarcusRashford @AlanThomas What phone do you think poor people should have? @Helen_Something As we say in sarf Lahndun...that looks banging! @IceManTiti1 @JamieKay22 🍄 @JamieKay22 She's a massive fan of mushroomsMorten Morland - spot on.
Retweeted by Carl Masked 3.5% @maccorcrain @DarranMarshall Ha! He'll be round to fix your wee drains tomorrow!The underground grains market is massive. Quinoa is can get anything up to £1 a kilo @forgivethesea_ Nice...not listened to Foals for a while but will remedy that later @EnglishmanAdam Maybe Baby...I say this having watched it at the cinema...twiceI challenge anyone to have a busier day than this young #Tyrone man.
Retweeted by Carl Masked 3.5% @AlanTho59976503 @samdclulow @ziggy6769 @JasonManford @MarcusRashford @fesshole Susan Boyle is a ledge @AlanTho59976503 @samdclulow @ziggy6769 @JasonManford @MarcusRashford Ahh, you're gonna say something like "it was… a reminder that the #ToryScum sent back money to the EU unspent that should have gone to kids in deprivation.… @AlanTho59976503 @samdclulow @ziggy6769 @JasonManford @MarcusRashford Yep...laugh it up @Sorrelish I've heard that some are capable of eating themselves😂 sorry Shappi! If anyone would like to hear the conversation in question then check it out. Apple:…
Retweeted by Carl Masked 3.5% @forgivethesea_ This afternoon's about you? @agirlcalledlina Half-decent paintball team, thoughWe’re making sure no child in Middlesbrough goes without lunch over the school holidays. Please get in touch if y…
Retweeted by Carl Masked 3.5% @JasonReidUK Lovely! Just about to get an omelette on the go as it's pretty grey and drizzly here!#BrexitReality #NorthernIrish Fish vs S of Border fish ... .⁦@acatherwoodnews⁩ .⁦@MarkCarruthers7⁩
Retweeted by Carl Masked 3.5% @DibbsErnesto @eggs_horse @lagrande_sophie @MartinDaubney This you? think this cunt once had a gun can assure you I am not a publicity seeker. And while we’re at it... I can also assure you I have no idea what…
Retweeted by Carl Masked 3.5%It’s easier for a white person to vote from space than for an African American or Latino to vote in their home zip…
Retweeted by Carl Masked 3.5%
@michaellegge Crowd work is your strength @Backpainandwine iPhones are for children and grandparents *runs away*I see a load of sentient hams on here think they can do my job today, cobbling together and costing an omelette. Pi…
Retweeted by Carl Masked 3.5%#AccidentalPartridge
Retweeted by Carl Masked 3.5% @ambersalamander Come on The U's 💪 @miffythegamer He's a UKIP plant @Sorrelish She finally defeated the ball!UK has one of the lowest number of beds per population of all the countries in the OECD In addtion to the governme…
Retweeted by Carl Masked 3.5% @spuddlymills I think it's more likely that they're just cuntsDamn. I wish my teenage self knew I could swap out some Frazzles and Petit Filous for some weed #ToryScum of a masterpiece, like a whole movie in a Tik Tok clip
Retweeted by Carl Masked 3.5%
@HenderClaire @BBradley_Mans Marvelous!