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I tell fantastic lies so you can forget plain reality. Author of MISTER POSTED AND THE BRAIN FREEZE GODDESS #mpbfg

1,669 Following   1,392 Followers   10,602 Tweets

Joined Twitter 7/15/16


@teachrobotslove Yo 🤚 @Veronika_or Yes! It works the best for me :)Day 23 of #zd30script https://t.co/BYAAPLeU1WCozy socks ✔️ Fluffy blanket ✔️ Hot cocoa with frothy milk and cinnamon sugar ✔️ A good book by @carlrjennings If… https://t.co/tAJkOAD9sI
Retweeted by Carl R. Jennings, N.V.M.R.
9/24
2020
@Jamie_Nash Should have given you a discount. That is clearly 6 and 5/8 figures. @TheCriticalDri2 This one perhaps wins the gold foil medal of the group. https://t.co/eM1u3F1adtOwn by the kid who told me that Batman visited him one night in his room. https://t.co/G0mbdF5Ww8 @MRKR Then... they're lying.On the lap blanket for day 22 of #zd30script https://t.co/Ke0wsDvq6rDaaammmmnnnm! https://t.co/aKe7Kvgi0x
9/23
2020
"And I still had enough to star in a one goddess rendition of 'Saving Private Potato Patron'!" is one of my favorit… https://t.co/XVsDZQEiaJDay 21 (for me) of #zd30script https://t.co/aRFQfVTLOM @pmloveland Dead Space for games.
9/22
2020
Day 20 of #zd30script. Knuckling down for the approaching final stretch. https://t.co/lf4AvuzzKr @TheCriticalDri2 Sounds like someone needs to go back into the Naughty Box.We’re heading toward most of y’all’s favorite time of year & nearly a year ago @gimetzco dropped this design on us… https://t.co/zw2r1NmFkY
Retweeted by Carl R. Jennings, N.V.M.R.You Can't Steal This Idea Because I Just Did (tm) https://t.co/NzSXhtu0lYYouTube keeps asking me which beer I'm likely to buy, and I tell them none. Yet they keep giving me ads for beer, a… https://t.co/xx5jsGsYZFDo I get a telegram or something from @ChurchofSatan for this milestone? https://t.co/2WKkDNv7Le @RobotThomas This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but with a "Im not a SHE… https://t.co/fRCiQbiNVmDon't. Ever. Let. Someone. Censor. You. If you do I will personally find you and give you a good smacking. https://t.co/yJa8Mf4Aq8Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween. It’s terrible for the environment. Locally sourced, all natural skelet… https://t.co/qQvfwJcZIO
Retweeted by Carl R. Jennings, N.V.M.R.
9/20
2020
Day 19 of #zd30script https://t.co/mRERh3RXq4 @jeffvandermeer We're resisting the Resistance who resists our Resistance against the Resistance that's resisting Resistance. @cee_cee I'm so happy it could help 😊If you're looking for a mini series about the absurdity of the United States today then take a gander at my pilot K… https://t.co/FhXLMu0ssMMourn #RBG, certainly. But being defeatist--saying it's all over now--takes a piss on how hard she worked her whol… https://t.co/WQtc2wmfZz#picturesyoucanhear https://t.co/9m4qhxQrGR
9/19
2020
I spread shave butter on my morning toast to save time.One of the greatest scenes in movies, and it's from Robocop 3. https://t.co/VMMInDgxO8https://t.co/lYpKFdUzCo https://t.co/4v7x1jt4D8WEIRD BONERS: Leave it to @EmilioAmaro92 to recommend a raunchy 1970s sex comedy written by Gene Roddenberry and di… https://t.co/mJqPPUfXGd
Retweeted by Carl R. Jennings, N.V.M.R.If you make popcorn shrimp and don't do the Swedish Chef voice at least once, are you even eating pupercurn shrimper?
9/18
2020
Day 17 of #zd30script on the lap. https://t.co/k4bYg8kEgZA pause during day 16 of #zd30script https://t.co/964D7OdgiL @somaddysmith Yo 🤚We all want to scream into the void. Who could have predicted that the void was one another?
9/17
2020
@WinnieChester3 @elliott_downing Eh, maybe for me but I'd be a spoiled prick. @teachrobotslove No, this is a place where vehement detractors and sycophants have the loudest bullhorns. @elliott_downing I'm glad I'm not surrounded by the number of enablers that Kanye is.Planning characters Me: "She has a lot of personality." Then me: "So she's an asshole."Alright, season 2 of The Mandalorian is looking hopeful. https://t.co/DjmQWrzIqeDay 15 of #zd30script https://t.co/2jNX2sDfCLhttps://t.co/Q0yHUbU2m0
9/16
2020
@KaylaChowShow I don't know why that guy in old face is dancing energetically over there but if you need it I won't complain.Cross your fingers everyone that THE IMPORTANCE OF PUNISHMENT makes it in the short category! https://t.co/04pJbbe2y8 @DoctorUlysses Right?! Just a little more pizazz lolJames Bond is Leisure Suit Larry for the mainstream. Change my mind.#NewProfilePic https://t.co/tyxO3nKGv7 @JamesCullenB General Tso's Chicken, Jurassic Park, and Batman: The Animated SeriesWhat the headline says: "JK Rowling's latest book is about a murderous cis man who dresses as a woman to kill his v… https://t.co/dD9DfmCw22
Retweeted by Carl R. Jennings, N.V.M.R.
9/15
2020
@teachrobotslove Your Avengers moment! https://t.co/YXCHdehdfkDay 14 of #zd30script and the match pile is growing in proportion to the number of legal pads I've filled. https://t.co/ifcO3x24pmHey there! Are things not feeling science-y enough for you? Then why not try QUANTUM(tm)!? With QUANTUM(tm), everyt… https://t.co/Fprguv3sl7 @rhipratchett I guess they start as they mean to go on, eh?#thewatch show can go to hell now. I figured it was going to be awful but now they're not even going to MENTION Ter… https://t.co/3arBXVEMQxIt's still day 13 of #zd30script for me. https://t.co/oy4Nryrq7mMy writing career summed up is: I can STILL give you more ridiculous things than reality does. Come on, take a chance, roll the dice. @StevenSheiner I mean, look around you. @Massawyrm That's why I have a special shouty resume prepared.
9/14
2020
@ghoulieschool So-so. They're more just a vehicle for the slashing. Like when someone in a Jason movie goes searchi… https://t.co/HSnoXZCie8 @ghoulieschool I believe the surreal elements are more incidental, a secondary natural progression of the story as… https://t.co/TZEoG2bcqn @KristenVanNest https://t.co/ER85yUB4bX @ghoulieschool Not bad at all. @salemhorrorfest A cult of pumpkin pie enthusiasts try to harness the natural macabre elements of the town in order… https://t.co/kWKOFPW8qKDay 12 of #zd30script https://t.co/DGLqgtfeOK
9/13
2020
@RebeccaTKaplan https://t.co/eWI9MVA7y4 @RebeccaTKaplan A game where you're a janitor cleaning up after all the exciting space monster stuff is over.Nothing humerus today. I'm not depressed or anything it's just you all have been getting too much free shit. @RebeccaTKaplan Wait until you find Visera Cleanup Detail. @ghoulieschool I know a number of men who won't think along these lines. From experience your feelings seems to be… https://t.co/PleOUOcTXWWaxing nostalgic for walking along the Santa Monica pier sipping lemonade and eating corn dogs, holding on to your… https://t.co/P69ENp77Nw
Retweeted by Carl R. Jennings, N.V.M.R.Technically the next day but I haven't been to sleep yet so it counts to me. Day 11 of #zd30script https://t.co/CKCPYgNCicGearing up for SPOOKY SEASON and need a jumpstart to your horror-fied rockabilly house party? Break open the Pabst… https://t.co/0zcelmmygw
Retweeted by Carl R. Jennings, N.V.M.R.Need some entertainment lawyer suggestions, please. Who do you work with? Let’s make a thread for video game and movie lawyers:
Retweeted by Carl R. Jennings, N.V.M.R.I wrote something and now I gross. The only good thing about it is now you'll all read it in the next book and feel… https://t.co/9DGWGKneJ6
9/12
2020
@garethlpowell Nah, we just need to call Rick O'Connell. He yells back. https://t.co/y7sdho7mLARelationships are about communication https://t.co/1nmzVJXllL
Retweeted by Carl R. Jennings, N.V.M.R. @Authoralexp I don't remember inviting you into my home, please leave. @elliott_downing Heh. It's funny because it's plausible. @feminist_th0t Brown flex bean soup.I've sold two books mysteriously. They don't show up on my reports from any platform but there's the royalties so... 🤷‍♂️ @darkowlpublish @JamesCullenB I read about that! That expression definitely says it haha
9/11
2020
@J_Motoki Nope lol: The Musical25th anniversary of Pinky and the Brain Today. Please watch some episodes if you get a chance! My Dad wrote many of them. ❤️
Retweeted by Carl R. Jennings, N.V.M.R. @JamesCullenB Bladerunner 2049 @JamesCullenB "Muh baaaaaaayyyyybe!" @MollyJongFast Some excuses take time to build. Can't go off all half-cocked.What awkward angles we concoct to keep the trash out. Day 10 of #zd30script https://t.co/l3uwEexnMM @Gabino_Iglesias Zombies are played out anyway. I want a pirate apocalypse! Ninjas as a close second.TRIGGERED! @madmanmarz85 gets a little pious (not really) with this look at SPLATTER UNIVERSITY's killer "priest,"… https://t.co/6FgBE118BT
Retweeted by Carl R. Jennings, N.V.M.R.The Devil's Towel. https://t.co/ZHpzZdWwyVStill great content, still has me in it. https://t.co/dUCIGNam1b @GoIntoTheStory The Shining is the perfect example. Danny and Windy don't confront the Overlook at the end, they confront the worst of Jack.Heh heh. How suggestive. https://t.co/gTyB72EzuNThis is what zero empathy looks like. https://t.co/AMJcJ1CxGb @pattonoswalt You're asking for a lot of spine from a bunch of sponges.Mont Blanc tastes with a Bic wallet. Day 9 of #zd30script https://t.co/KVXOLxTfhL @DoctorUlysses You've got it bang on. @Gabino_Iglesias It's a lovely motto. https://t.co/zqOs2FyeCc
9/10
2020

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