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Humorist/Artist/Absurdist, Full Frontal with Samantha Bee (Views here are mines own)

636 Following   1,107 Followers   2,573 Tweets

Joined Twitter 11/8/10


@theeclarkjones Gordon Ramsay BBthink i'm only gonna freelance for my own projects this year. wastin way too much time on other peoples' ideas 😒
1/19
2019
Ariana's new song fully rips off Mine by @princessnokia 😡 @gaelyng What is this from I want to know what percentage of me is poison
1/18
2019
My hometown paper called Sicko Mode the ‘Bohemian Rhapsody of rap’ and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for 3 weeksYou: Does anyone know CPR?? Me: https://t.co/SdEchxx2xI
1/17
2019
@corypalmer golf? @corypalmer @SlackHQ what version do you have?I actually like the new @SlackHQ logo https://t.co/L6rG0i2WOw @JustthetipInmar Don’t die I need you to tweet & take pics & be cute/good @joedaffington I treasure it
1/16
2019
i have sold 1 shirt 2 myself https://t.co/40YArUvAosI turned 26 a few days ago and I already have a new chin hair!Without this explainer it looks like trump has been labeled as pizza and fries https://t.co/p8yQdj1ZbY @missbreton @washingtonpost show me the pizza @missbreton @washingtonpost ana this is important journalism let them workmy dude.. u can go to literally any corner, you don't need to wait for another invite to the white house https://t.co/1djgIbgvMW @camparisucks yupomy entire personality is based on not knowing who the fuck i amI don’t care fish is weird tasting & meat is good!!!! @kristencheeks It is fun to watch You as a sequel to Gossip Girl where he’s changed his name & Candace is SerenaSomeone else is watching the Fyre Festival doc on the Hulu account I do not pay for & I am furious
1/15
2019
@schlife I’m worried this is a serious question so I have to answer honestly... it’s riverdale. @DanSpenser Finewhy can people eat fish and not meat and thats ok, but if u eat meat and not fish ur weird?????getting all my teeth pulled & put back in reverse order so my molars can be up front & my 2 front teef have to hide in the back. @JustthetipInmar bEtTeR tHaN eVeR!!!!!!!!damn straight she out here DRIPPING IN LEGS https://t.co/Y9ys7tVAj0🎵 when u almost cry at ya desk drink a warm sprite & stop that mess 🎵 @missbreton @SpeakerPelosi honestly would be upset if it was me cause i've ALWAYS DRESSED and ACTED cool.sorry but Jeff Bozo is funny @JustthetipInmar never stop
1/14
2019
It’s my bday pls join my revolution https://t.co/BRoCulHkHc @JustthetipInmar 10/10On my bday I am announcing: I am over all your bullshit!!!! Be normal!!!!! Be nice!!!!! Fuck off!!!!!!Drinking Hoegaarden in some hoe’s garden https://t.co/y3TEqTjJjCIt’s been on my to do list for 14 years to look up the lyrics to Temperature by Sean Paul, but new stuff keeps coming up!!!!
1/13
2019
@JustthetipInmar @camparisucks it has begunhere we go https://t.co/5hNoQGKwcu
1/11
2019
apparently rome wasnt built in a day but it was made cause 2 kids sucked a wolf tittyfolks it's #NBA #ALL #STAR voting season and i come to you with a humble please https://t.co/hZ6SJUzcKd
Retweeted by Cassidy Routh 🕷 @HannahAWright you forgot about cereal!!!Homecoming is very good except Julia Roberts pronounced Ocala weird & Valdosta to Tampa is not a 3 hour drive
1/10
2019
@SarahKSilverman Hulu is a dumb bitch!!! She's just jealous of your perfect tv show & hair!My bank flagged my account for potential fraud because I went out on a Monday night & they know I usually don’t leave my apartment
1/9
2019
My friend @karencheee hugged Sandra Oh! https://t.co/Id1EzjOzWXI spent 1 US Dollar to hear Sicko Mode at a bar tonightPlanning our bday @corypalmer https://t.co/VqXRcPlmNA
1/8
2019
YES MY BABY WON THE GOLDEN GLOBE 🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷 (I don’t know how award shows work I assume this is the only one?)
1/7
2019
My mom took one look at this bumper sticker and said FUCK YOU at this car https://t.co/TbPAbHtb4WIt’s truly the only way. #StopBeingaMessyBitch2019 https://t.co/GjiTHIF25F
1/6
2019
Ugh I’ll do anything for fashion!!! Gimme da gout https://t.co/hNhKm2u7V9
1/4
2019
Lmao my @boyfriend is so shy!!!!!! https://t.co/O5514fT66OCan’t wait to get back to NY so I can start Marie Kondoing my life @Nicole_Cliffe @jenstatsky 20mg Prozac & Wellbutrin (either 200 or 100mg 🤷🏼‍♀️)
1/2
2019
10 til the new year, time to start making the bubbly!! https://t.co/VnsP8UTltV
1/1
2018
https://t.co/eB2CbWBibqLadies and GENTLEmen I am beyond pleased to announce, the theme of 2019 is .. Gazillionaire Girls Club Let’s kic… https://t.co/MljGKafOLA @DanSpenser DANAll female reboot of Jackass!!’! https://t.co/thRBtBrncqHoly shit what a fuckin psycho https://t.co/bxJFBxlgAl
12/31
2018
After much consideration I’m tagging the latest as “poor customer service” https://t.co/RtjDLyzaaN @corypalmer I went like 4 times a week from 2-14yrs oldThese are some places I wanted to go when I was a kid & also my dads name for some reason https://t.co/dvkzqO0rWFCosmo still the king of funniest Dear Abbys https://t.co/NAnNmx6E7r
12/29
2018
Yesterday my tattoo artist called me ‘morbid’ 😈 @camparisucks @missbreton OK @missbreton ADDED TO MY LIST!
12/28
2018
@aturnerwrites Hell ya! @aturnerwrites DEVASTATING @corypalmer @DanSpenser tag yourself!!! I'm JacksonI am beyond excited to reveal the theme of 2019 this year. SO much so that I may release it on the 31st so you can… https://t.co/whCac71uyx @aturnerwrites are you gone already?????
12/27
2018
@corypalmer Birds will likely take your money and run, go with piss @FellatiaGeisha @FullFrontalSamB It wasn’t a great ad for my content lmaoRolled my eyes so hard at a Robert Indiana exhibit I fell down
12/26
2018
On this Christmas day, I'd like to take some extra time to say, Fuck you Kevin Spacey, you lunatic trash man.On this day, Christmas Eve, I'd like to take some extra time to say, Fuck you Kevin Spacey, you lunatic trash man.Charisma. Uniqueness. Nerve. Talent. https://t.co/O4jPV4OYRb
12/25
2018
@missbreton ANA I can’t find the first vid of this PLS THREAD THANK YOU MERRY MERRY
12/24
2018
🎵 All I want for Christmas is a wet head game, a wet head game, a wet head game. All I want for Christmas is a wet… https://t.co/rdqooNw2tRI love that this is the reason to warn people not to smoke inside Target https://t.co/7H83zSfv7z
12/23
2018
@corypalmer Cory I already somehow knew you owned both a teddy bear mug and a throwing star. If that’s the extent o… https://t.co/ESnbh8qQoSI got presidential mnms from dubya & ate them right away. He was so mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
12/22
2018
Alright guys one more time we’ll start with the chorus and then we’ll take it into the spider verse. And a 5, 6, 7, 8!
Retweeted by Cassidy Routh 🕷
12/19
2018
Life truly is a roller coaster. https://t.co/fJABT8zVJl
Retweeted by Cassidy Routh 🕷My make a wish is to have lieutenant joe kenda solve my murder https://t.co/6yTIJhbYG6
12/18
2018
Went to a party last night to try to socialize & then saw a PS4 & quickly made myself as anti-social as possible
12/16
2018
VALIDATE ME I COULDNT BUY THE SHOES I WANTED TO TODAY I CANT TEXT MY EX CAUSE HE BROKE UP WITH ME I CAN NEVER SEE I… https://t.co/f0HNZkFru9 @camparisucks I think about texting my ex every day but I’m a Capricorn helpFRESH TRACK HOT OFF THE STEAMING TRASH: https://t.co/P3OIipgtd6coincidence or conspiracy? https://t.co/AHOcdCDllj
12/15
2018
i got @paperwater at the top of my release radar today im feelin good @concernizen @GrittyNHL im happy now!!!!!!HAHAHAH I THOUGHT IT WAS BAILEYS I FUCKED UPI just ordered a shot of Kahlua. someone intervene!!!!!!
12/14
2018
excuse me @GrittyNHL i am very sad, will you cheer me up?So just fuck buddies then https://t.co/Z7EooCb904🎵 Wake up wit a migraine feelin like P Diddy / put on glasses, stay inside, got to avoid da city 🎵 @corypalmer i started searching random words starting with: spider-man, spiderman, jazz, honk, swivel, peekers, french, etc
12/13
2018

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