Sign in with Twitter


Chance The Napper @chanceftw Wherever I like.

I never put more than 5 min of thought into anything I post. $cdizz1e

275 Following   484 Followers   27,047 Tweets

Joined Twitter 7/15/09

🤣🤣🤣 @SouthwestAir Nah it's ok. 8min later someone picked up and let me know there's was nothing they could do."Here at @SouthwestAir we appreciate your patience and understanding during these thought times." The recording rep… @CmdrZman Starbuck is only a callsign with a level of expectation attached. He's his own Starbuck! @CmdrZman So say we All. @ReubenSangwich @CmdrZman Love it when my brain keeps switching the channel when I was trying to listen to that one! 😂🤣😅Just had the "Tom & Jerry Kids" theme song pop in my head. I don't even remember the show. What the fuck.
@AnthonyGreen And been audience to all the other planters solos! "Planters literally bathed in Anthony Green's spec…, wouldn't be angry about it. #XSXFridgeSweeps
What an amazing fight! #UFC254Holy crap how did he survive?!Ooooo.... I really like both fighters here, but I'm pullin for Cannonier tonight! #UFC254 @alessiacara Magic one?! Brb popping mine in the record player.If You Know You Know
Retweeted by Chance The NapperDid a sleep study last night, was kinda cool cuz they wire you up like you're about to head into The Matrix. Wasn't…
I can’t retweet this 30x but if I could I would.
Retweeted by Chance The NapperRetweet this if you've ever purchased a game after watching a streamer play it. Trying to see something 🤔
Retweeted by Chance The NapperWhen do I grow up in to a full size Strugg? Struggling life is exhausting. @beatrice21 @lzzcat @kacydahl That the m.o. 😅 @Denver_dan Get some peat in the air and I'll be comin home to a mile high scotch I'd love. 😅 @jakeacappella I felt the same about the tv I bought! The gpu will have to wait 😑 @Denver_dan 9 more days for my tired eyes! How's it lookin??
@lzzcat @kacydahl I've never tried poutine, so I need to see the poll to know which way to vote. @lacroixboy_ Satan's just an a+ stan. @Alistairovereem Overeem UFC Heavyweight champion in 2021. Or did you mean predictions for 254? 😆 @MikeMav22 Having some fuel on your body for more than flexing probably comes in handy too. 😅😅Shit... $cdizz1e @JoeListComedy @thisdiegolopez Joe stepping out of his comfort zone and adding White-belt Guilt to his growing list of neuroses?! Nice.
@Denver_dan This dude gotta have nutty orders at mcdonald's... "uh yeah, I'm a fan of your burgers so I'll have one of everything." @RonFunches Pocket the cash, to make your OWN private Wall-E theme park?! That slick af.Reddit gives so much.
@lexxibacca All of the places I've been in europe were at 17 or younger. I feel that had.There isn't a single thing that gets me out of bed in NC that happens to be something I'm looking forward to.Love working in environments where things being done wrong are more important to the people in charge than the reas…
Definitely not hahaI'm thinking Draw? #LomaLopezZombie just got denied the whole fight.... damn. Nice job T City!
@SkylarMontrose This has been my theme song recently 😅 @alextlira Would you feel bad about going to a dermatologist cuz your skin was bad??
@liddohoneyyy I think we're all a little short on that front this year 😅 @liddohoneyyy If you have some contentment for sale, I'd love some of that these days. 😅😅All this because I'm still on the hunt for one of those selfies to post.Posting selfies is so weird.. When you finally find the one worth posting it feels like "Wow I look good in this on… @arielhelwani Looks like a clean cut to me? You buzz your hair, give the man some credit! 😅
Black MAGA Trumper & Pregnant Wife... New clip up now. INDULGE!
Retweeted by Chance The Napper @lzzcat Does asking for no onions or ketchup qualify? Because mfkrs be acting like it does.LET'S GOOOO 2021!! Limp X Snoop X @OMandM 🤞🤘🔥
Retweeted by Chance The NapperFound this little guy while looking for bioluminescent fungi! #bugs #uvglow
Retweeted by Chance The Napper @lacroixboy_ 😍😍
@itsdtox He's a leader I know I'd trust! @TheAstroPub @TheBristolBoy88 I figured someone would at least get a little creative if they were gonna go there.
Yooo I mastered this stuff and I think Fox Lake is one of the best heavy bands out of Colorado rn. Also Dan rules t…
Retweeted by Chance The NapperWhen you get turned down for sex I think it’s best to just pretend you were kidding. Here’s what I say: “I was jus…
Retweeted by Chance The NapperSick and fucking tired of the ONLY credit anyone fucking cares attributing to anyone else is credit for shortcomings.Not the Anthony green you where trying to reach but your in luck if you want to hear a recovering addict sing sad s…
Retweeted by Chance The NapperNothing better than being ready to leave for work 10min early and still showing up 2min late. Especially when 2min…
@ReubenSangwich I didn't realize it was the same girl! Also somehow didn't realize she was in the first series too! What a chameleon! @lzzcat I always read that as "BLOUSE" like it's a sound in a Batman comic.This "The Haunting of Bly Manor" is pretty good so far!
@RonFunches Ketchup is one of the worst tastes among intentionally edible goods on the planet.GDP, @ThugnastyMMA. GDP.
Retweeted by Chance The Napper @Knax_test Hahaha! I'll dm it to him! @Denver_dan Trick or treat "egg hunt" for candy. Hide em in/around other decorations.
@Deeebluhd Old spice? I use that lavender one?Brundle fly - is it you? Please turn pence inside out.... #pence #thefly #brundle #fly #jeffgoldblum
Retweeted by Chance The Napper @fahimanwar And maybe in traffic.Feel bad for how often politicians hearts ache.
Retweeted by Chance The Napper
@lzzcat @marknorm Gets worse and worse the more you try and hold it back/hold it off. "But jesus can we just do this in the bathroom?"Like damn man... The only things that have broken my heart recently are various metrics I can measure myself agains…'m so lonely I catch myself feeling jealous when people post about the bad parts of being their relationship... Li… toast
Retweeted by Chance The NapperThe all around world Digital Underground Pac, The "Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer" of the Roc.
@lzzcat I was utterly obsessed with her. Now just kinda. @KarlousM Better swoop that dot com!
What's a mosquito bite and what's a stretch mark I've scratched at too long? Later tonight, after I can figure out… is worried about the Covid surge but last time we had a New Wave we did get The Cure.
Retweeted by Chance The NapperI definitely couldn't resist this one. @hoeexotic @PostMalone Ths is my freaking theme song recently.... Today is just staaaacking shit on top of shit.
“VERTIGO” OUT NOW 🔥 Link in bio
Retweeted by Chance The Napper @andrewschulz this video all I could think about when you had Cobra Kai kid singing on the last episode😂
Retweeted by Chance The Napper @CooperSays @steelearmstrong He's mostly deaf and legally blind. That just how close you have to get for him to see your side of the story. @alextlira @SethMunson As a former 14-16yo Papa Roach superfan the hook/chorus from "Infest" is hilariously topical.After much deliberation and a couple unnecessary disagreements, I now understand what my roommate originally meant but didn't say.
Some insight on Mir, courtesy of her HS wrestling coach: She is a junior at Centennial HS in Vegas. She’s already…
Retweeted by Chance The Napper @Denver_dan Like if Superman flew down into Denver... "Hey look! It's Superman! Oh waiiiit.... Why's he HERE?!" @Voyboy I hate when people have opinions outside of their expertise too! /s @jakeacappella Oh damn! I've met em a couple times, but just like on the busses at warped back in the day haha @jakeacappella We probably love a shit ton of the same stuff!It's ok to be angry and never let go, it only gets harder the more that you know.
Hey Colorado and residents there within, I'll be in Denver Oct 30th - Nov 1st. It's a tight schedule to see some ti…“In closing do you have any conspiracy theories?”
Retweeted by Chance The Napper
@SethMunson Must have had a blast recording my vocals then. Isolated nails on a chalkboard for hours on end 🤌"But the last time I did that one thing completely unrelated in any way, you told me not to." The lazy idiot offere…'m more on edge than a centrist witnessing a partisan person reacting to something.