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Single-mom. Feminist. Aspiring Badass. Princess. HealthGoth. she/her

509 Following   498 Followers   94,691 Tweets

Joined Twitter 12/10/10

@missalicebmbds The OG just gals being pals
it should be illegal to ask me to do things when i am on my period
Retweeted by Charlottei hate when people ask me what do i do....i’m hot...i think that’s enough
Retweeted by CharlotteI tell you, growing up -- and I mean properly growing up, into your full power, into your responsibility, into ever…
Retweeted by Charlotte
Just upset my partner deeply by telling them how I prefer to eat After 8's,,,in that I like to push them to the roo…
Retweeted by CharlotteAnd how should we behave during this Apocalypse? We should be unusually kind to one another, certainly. But we shou…
Retweeted by Charlotte @jaykayell_ Touch receptors lolI do this to my boyfriend too @jaykayell_ Ooh touchyI love the shade of the phrase "conventionally attractive" bc it makes hot people sound boring, which tbh they usually are
Retweeted by Charlotte @Brainmage It's time to cry and cry...Well fuck I feel disgustingI brought snacks.
Retweeted by CharlottePray for yr girl CTP absolutely overdressed and expiring in the heat furious to be wearing jeans right now @NedHartley It is so fun, there's loads of free printables and ideas on Pinterest too if you decide to do oneshe keeps saying things like "tactile epithelial cells" and transduction and veridical I am so not having funI had better be skin looks dreadful but at least I am kinda smartMy face during this cognitive neuroscience lecture @mandapen They are so nice! Idk if I am being sensitive but when I use multiple colours for diff pieces of info the… not sat in my little coffeeshop for months. Am so happy rn *is exhausted* Me when literally anyone needs help with something: I'LL DO IT
Retweeted by Charlotte @Brainmage Just increasingly insistent "this is funny...", "THIS is funny", "this is FUNNY...", "this IS funny..." @Brainmage Thankyou for the explanation @GeorgeSandison Aren't you a professional writer George @_emilyoram That's a lovely thing to know ❤️ @LauraEmilyBored It's been a good run @justincapps I just very much want him to know that he is celebratedThis is a lie. One year I ask my kid what he wished for when he blew out his candles and he said "I wished for the… @Brainmage Ten years of being ridiculous @hlb_____ Well happy birthday eve! @saffronhayes I'll check them out @HollyBaleen This thread is just a collection of my ever changing haircuts @DemonTomatoDave Part of the healthy eating policy ennitAm done now. Please tell me I'm good and that you want me to be your mom because most of this effort was just unapp… I have very few photos of the first three birthday parties because it was before I had an iphone but rest ass… @MeltingSwans She was going to be on the underside of the lid but I thought that might be gross. Maybe if you had a laminatorAll the weapons can be taped up with brown griptape so they look more ninja-like. Probably also works for like larping and stuff idkI made - and then promptly confiscated - sai from some kid's gardening forks like this. I painted a bandana around… can't find any pictures but if you want to arm your small child then: Nunchucks can be fashioned from a kid's sk… year before was the TMNT party. We had moved to London like two days before so it was the most basic party I h… the food was served in plant pots. The cake was carrot cake. Turns out my kid doesn't even like carrot cake fifth birthday was also his first day ever of school so I made thirty of those little fuckers. The next year th… hand rolled those carrots out of icing. If your kid is weird and requests a carrot party it is important to note… he turned five my kid decided he wanted a... carrot themed party. This one is a little sparse on the details b… @HollyBaleen Yeah. I convinced myself to shave it all and then got scared halfway though 🤦🏻‍♀️For his present that year we went to Comicon for the first time. This guy did the 'aren't you a little short for a… birthday was like two months before Force Awakens was released so all the shops had merchandise and I found thi… tried to make a really simple cake for the party cos due to scheduling stuff there was also... of the kids dressed up. Yes me too. But we had Yoda and Leia headbands they could make if they didn't have a c… kids made lightsabers out of pool noodles and tape. They then used the sabers to bash the thirty silver paper l… anything can be made into a lightsaber if you stick it on a skewer. They had star shaped sandwiches and W… with terrible puns this was Vinnie's Sith Birthday at the fact that this has taken an HOUR so far)The cake was probably my favourite to have made possibly ever. Thank you Rubeus Hagrid for your cack-handed and eas… favours were snitches I'd caught. I also dressed as a snitch. Because I am a bit over the top, don't know if yo… got very into the details and was a bit sad to put the house back to normal after Flavour Beans, Pepper Imps, Cockroach Clusters, Liquorice Wands, Acid Pops, Fizzing Whizzbees, Sherbert Lemon… kids picked their wands (twigs with hot glue and marbles), then they put the Sorting Hat on and picked their ho… the kids arrived they had to walk through the barrier to Platform 9 3/4, then I'd covered the stairs with the… had planned to somehow do a game of Quidditch in the park so I made these with hula hoops and superglued some fea… takes fucking ages to hand draw onto balloons and not smudge them but this was a labour of love)The invites were Hogwarts letters, I made wax seals and delivered them by owl post he was seven we had a Harry Potter party, which I nicknamed Pothead Turns Seven and no one else appreciated.… also had giant darts made of pool noodles I sliced and taped up but I can't find any pics of those. I made a s… set up shooting ranges and an obstacle course and they played capture the flag and tug of war and mostly just sho… kids were assigned team colours, dog tags, eye protection and camo paint along with their weapons (fun fact I b… NerfDay Party. The invites were rolled up to look like giant Nerf darts was nine 👆🏻 this is eight 👇🏻And then we had grassblock cake. Which ended up being like four layers to make it cube shaped. I later found a head… mostly just played video games but also I got them to make Minecraft pixelated masks and also these push-up pi…, I mostly just made myself laugh basically threw together some Minecraft references and then tried indoctrinating them into videogames of my child… he turned nine he said he just wanted to have some mates round and play video games. So I invited them on a qu… that was Ten 👆🏻And then the party bags which were just to make me laugh. One kid cried activities we played pizza roulette (one slice had anchovies on it - obvs some of the weird kids liked it anywa… cupcakes. Weirdly left untouched were full of vegetables. SIKE drinks delightful looking food like these chocolate truffles that ended up being sprouts inside'll do them in reverse, so this is last years... The PRANK Party The invites were the old severed finger in a mat… I never had a birthday party as a kid and I decided when my kid was born I was gonna be one of those moms who… you read and judge me or yourself please note I freaking LOVE planning parties, baking cakes and making bunt… reminds me I promised this yesterday. The Ultimate Thread of my Child's Ridiculous Birthday PartiesI have got off lightly I guess because normally I would be full-blown party planning at this stage and this year I'… I am baking cupcakes today and then an elaborate malteasers cake he has designed himself for the weekendVinnie has *this morning* asked for cupcakes for his birthday tomorrow when his mates are roundand then me convincing him I should make a cake for the weekend when the grandparents are visiting so he has something to put a candle in... @PublicChaffinch You look 👌🏻After months of saying he did not want a birthday cake and we would just have icecream when we go for dinner with his mates tomorrow... @NuclearTeeth @mangmangmang @Beardynoise Delighted with how this conversation has turned out @limertilly I hate trying to articulate this stuff because I know it probably sounds a bit hysterical if you don't *get it* @dullandwicked They basically liquify and turn all to mush so yeah @ShamblesAndFuss Ok 9:00 on the dot time to move @DismalChips You know how many times I have suggested my kid take out a disc that's taking a while to load and blow on it @Beardynoise @mangmangmang It is bc people don't think fish can feel pain or something @mangmangmang Will take your word for it @ShamblesAndFuss Same