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Chip Clark @Chipotle The Whale's V

They have the Internet on computers, now? --Homer Simpson

1,300 Following   836 Followers   2,469 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/11/07


Good luck with that https://t.co/pSgaYXobKnYou're welcome? https://t.co/mcJdFh3NIB
3/22
2019
@SyedRezaMehdi WTF!!!!! Delete this
3/15
2019
@mike_sevenn I bought some velcro shoes last week. Total rip-off!
Retweeted by Chip ClarkFinally! It's about time someone (other than my 839 followers) noticed that I'm killing it on Twitter. https://t.co/055UeUbLRA
3/14
2019
@DavidAFrench @EliLake @chrislhayes @mmfa @TuckerCarlson So, would you be OK with these hashtags -… https://t.co/GfTrjNBJqe
3/12
2019
I prefer Lyft. https://t.co/ZsETAYv2Se @bnateshe Sadly, I'm currently unavailable, but I will put you on the waiting list.
3/11
2019
@Chipotle hit me with your best dad joke
Retweeted by Chip Clark
3/10
2019
@JasonIsbell Well. that's it the perfect tweet. @jasonisbell is the winner. @jack you can now shut this thing down and we can all go home @mike_sevenn I bought some velcro shoes last week. Total rip-off!
3/9
2019
Pretty sure bringing me won't help, but I'll try my best. https://t.co/baUnMjWCb6
3/6
2019
@lorieliebig @JadeBirdMusic
3/5
2019
@EWErickson Hey @EWErickson, 100% of the people who want socialism have never talked to anyone over 65?
3/3
2019
No pressure, but there is a waiting list. https://t.co/HB7VdffShK
3/2
2019
@EaterSanDiego Do you fact check? Chicken Rebel moved to Denver over a year ago.
3/1
2019
@jbouie @libbyanelson I have a spreadsheet that proves you're not alone.
2/27
2019
I'll step aside this time and let everyone add their own joke. https://t.co/Vv5I6xqyUC
2/25
2019
@EWErickson Hilarious. The problems NY restaurants face are astronomical rents and a cost of living that is way ab… https://t.co/yxFVkmjqT7
2/23
2019
@asymmetricinfo https://t.co/ZV9jmlPjoX
2/22
2019
Sorry! You're absolutely right. - I'll definitely take a shower this week. https://t.co/ywXrWRPFFt
2/21
2019
@billjamesonline Trout @ErinSchrode meh
2/19
2019
@JasonIsbell Spectacular - One of the highlights of the cruise
2/18
2019
@chiproytx Did you know Breitbart also published this. https://t.co/qvWFLoemuk @chiproytx @SpeakerPelosi Hey Chip, how about some data to back up this tweet.
1/28
2019
@chiproytx OK, now do https://t.co/TYjY960ocA
1/27
2019
@DanCrenshawTX @ewarren Low taxes do? (see Kansas)
1/25
2019
@jpodhoretz @AOC The ineptitude of their comm shop is Veep level.Sorry, it's been a long week. I'll try to do better. https://t.co/XelpiA18LE @bennyjohnson @AOC OK, now do Denmark.
1/24
2019
@ChuckRossDC And, how is this different from right-wing outrage mobs? @SaysSimonson My dog agrees!!
1/23
2019
@patrickdehahn @xeni Brave
1/22
2019
@chiproytx Heartbreaking story. Now highlight another story that explains how our failed gun policies cost 1000s of lives every year. ThanksUnderstandable but today doesn't work - how about Wednesday?? https://t.co/VKLhAnRPJ1
1/14
2019
@lilchunkymama No worries. @fivefifths After a lifetime of not saying anything negative at restaurants, I told a server about a particularly b… https://t.co/NdfKxq0zSU
1/12
2019
@BillSimmons Never going to happen. Letterman doesn't want to answer any #metoo questions.
1/10
2019
Best restaurant name ever. https://t.co/iFzW9bJcCv
1/8
2019
@jeffcannata How about my screenplay - Silent But Deadly. Earth has been overrun by creatures that track your farts. @MONROEWKYC No offense taken, I readily admit I'm an acquired taste.
1/3
2019
WTF! How the hell am I supposed to do this? Way too much work - I need to take a nap after I make myself a sandw… https://t.co/0ZTZqK08Gg @chiproytx The devil is aIways in the details. Is raising taxes and cutting the defense budget part of your solution?
1/2
2018
Done https://t.co/NdQsGFJ9ro
12/31
2018
It's a common problem. Try exercise and if that doesn't work - ice cream. https://t.co/fYIxjF24aA
12/23
2018
You're welcome?? https://t.co/7adv0G0D6i
12/19
2018
@katebarstool If the puppy has been micro-chipped, its shots are up-to-date, and the balloons are not filled with h… https://t.co/32Ak3aDu26
12/17
2018
The guy sitting next to me on this flight Will. Not. Shut. Up. I’m starting to regret marrying him.
Retweeted by Chip Clark
11/27
2018
@BrockCline11 I love beer @BrockCline11
11/17
2018
Sorry, past my bedtime. https://t.co/v8diFh2Ego
11/14
2018
Cool, I'll bring Settlers of Catan and a pizza. https://t.co/A3W1tONuhr
11/13
2018
Please take a number https://t.co/mSvfY0CbYF
10/4
2018
Line forms to the left. https://t.co/A8sjAV6w3q
10/2
2018
Yikes! Thanks for the feedback. I'll try do better next time. https://t.co/s9ocmu9se9
9/15
2018
Why women live longer than men. https://t.co/beIkLFYMbN
Retweeted by Chip Clark
9/8
2018
This escalated quickly https://t.co/DOxyuQFn91
8/23
2018
Seamless correlation https://t.co/oTaGfIVcyz
Retweeted by Chip Clark
8/21
2018
I'm really hungry, can you bring an extra bologna sandwich and some crispy Chips Ahoy cookies? https://t.co/OOaeJ3L4nb
8/13
2018
To all of the haters that said this day would never come https://t.co/BbJ45MZ4Fw
Retweeted by Chip Clark
8/4
2018
I ask myself this question daily. https://t.co/9HLqMMmrr2No coupons required - all my lame dad jokes will continue to be free. https://t.co/dF9qApugGF
8/3
2018
Crap! The guac I made this morning is already brown. I'm screwed. https://t.co/MBJPiAbb5vI guess we'll have to agree to disagree. I would maintain that I've been Chipotle for a long time, my burritos are… https://t.co/N97vo3k8RGYes. Yes I can. I have absolutely no problems with big islands, in fact Sri Lanka is a very good friend of mine. https://t.co/pMDcotGCpwI gotta admit my balloon animal are phenomenal. https://t.co/lNYTuhccUn
7/30
2018
Cool, I'll put on a pot of coffee and get some scones. https://t.co/AZeyctZgfW
7/29
2018
Today I'm running at 1.3 to 1, so you're probably good to go. https://t.co/YNCl6haNv7Line forms to the left https://t.co/CzM032w7qX
7/28
2018
I was on the Moon! #Apollo11 @NASA https://t.co/6Nb2cQVU32
Retweeted by Chip Clark
7/21
2018
@DarrellIssa @BellhopsMoving Better solution: provide public transportation
7/18
2018
Hey @TheOtherMunira you might be surprised, but I'm really... Shit, who am I kidding. You're absolutely right. I… https://t.co/DYLgiX7BSl
7/12
2018
My mate has two tickets for the England vs Sweden game on Saturday. He didn't realise that it's going to be on the… https://t.co/pPWIRo39CQ
Retweeted by Chip Clark
7/6
2018
Here in the land of Chiptopia loyalty will be rewarded and the punishment delivered to our enemies will be extreme!! https://t.co/eBOiTq4WKS
6/29
2018
@boxrZhu @ChipotleTweets @ChipotleUK @chipotleeffect @ChipotleFilms Not an expert, but I think it's a bowlito
6/26
2018
Yep https://t.co/sAmMagZerj
6/8
2018
Up is down, war is peace, fact is fiction... https://t.co/heSAt26qug
6/4
2018
False! It is accepted fact that I am a deliverer. https://t.co/Zm93ZdEMSu
5/18
2018
A very common reaction. https://t.co/kNFtMi92Br
5/8
2018
At the risk of being politically correct, the preferred term is 'precise-challenged guy'. https://t.co/HSb2o6r2f5Yikes!! I guess I better clean up this dump. https://t.co/7iAnoAYtfkCongratulations, although it's not really a huge accomplishment - I am after all a simpleton https://t.co/nqhfQ5obcv
5/4
2018
Unfortunately, you missed today's availability, but you'll be first in line for tomorrow https://t.co/P1s6jXLBxL
4/30
2018
the idea that the "ideal beach body" just means being thin or buff is so unimaginative, surely the ideal beach body… https://t.co/EXcMlBqVjJ
Retweeted by Chip ClarkDammit! You're right, I forgot to put the toilet seat down, again. I am so sorry and will try to do better. https://t.co/vgIfDSzUzF
4/27
2018
Search me. I spent the last 10 years watching Law and order reruns. https://t.co/ct6k3vxboO
4/24
2018
Fact check: probably true https://t.co/dodPFWca9O
4/23
2018
Today I saw a Honda Odyssey with ILIAD on the license plate. It made my day.
Retweeted by Chip Clark
3/16
2018
Et tu... https://t.co/QRDwvJ1EHg
3/15
2018
No comment https://t.co/6uToxiEzpO
3/7
2018
@Maddie_Gardner @TimBuckleyWX While most will disagree. The answer is yes, I am a thing!
2/20
2018
https://t.co/8bomP83ngP
Retweeted by Chip Clark
1/16
2018
FWIW, Shithole Country is the name of my favorite Spotify playlist
1/11
2018
Scored backstage laminates! https://t.co/MjsCoMm7Gohttps://t.co/0FkcYGAo5Q
1/6
2017
Another juggler gives up on his dreams... https://t.co/FXv5YWQQra
Retweeted by Chip Clark
12/31
2017
@OliviaMesser When given the choice of go big or go home - I always go home.
12/28
2017
This is just...wrong. On so many levels. https://t.co/HJeKbdycuy
Retweeted by Chip Clark
12/17
2017
Unfortunately, I am not. https://t.co/tF327Uo0kl
11/30
2017
I am CRYING. The Weather Channel set up for a live shot of the Georgia Dome being imploded, and at the perfectly wr… https://t.co/b9wj8rHiYs
Retweeted by Chip Clark
11/20
2017

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