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de-motivational speaker

4,808 Following   13,696,675 Followers   14,334 Tweets

Joined Twitter 5/11/09


@SallyMackay3 Oh I love how it’s broken up into areas!date night https://t.co/m5W5j3pPh5Long way to go. If you also need something to do with your hands at all times, I highly recommend diamond painting https://t.co/5DeiItrXsDdamn this is why you get 10000 bells for arapaimas https://t.co/OwQnIX5bu5 @rubylaren The wrinkling would killll me on A but if you never plan on sitting it’s sooo pretty @rubylaren a but you would look good in literally anything @CraigJCG Everyone keeps saying I can do it and I’m like I’m saying I literally cannot. It is a program I do not know how to usePandemic aside, I feel like I aged so much in the last year. I just feel like everyone in the world is now younger… https://t.co/Udc8kxdNQx @WFKARS @akshatsharma “I don’t know what mNRA is but I am allergic to it god dammit”
4/18
2021
Buy her cookbook here!!! It’s finally out!! https://t.co/lqSnaKjWX0DON’T YUCK HIS YUM!!! https://t.co/mP70Pep1n4if you’re in LA, my favorite thai spot, Night + Market, is now serving my mom’s bowtie pad see ew!! Get it delivere… https://t.co/IOSQzluImKme thinking about how I can please the men of Twitter https://t.co/7Wq8gF9Edxlol men are so mad at this. Im such a bully !my favorite play is on ! https://t.co/l9IHoSLHOt
4/17
2021
how did they know https://t.co/eQg7S9nYkJ @STFUParents @PeanutInTheGall might be the dumbest analogy I have ever seen lmaooooo fucking morons, I missed youhttps://t.co/YD01WL439Chello!!! https://t.co/NnbwBxh0Vo @NASA hello I’m with a high powered telescope right now, can you tell the space station to wave!!!!! @dannybthree @ChristianLament imagine teaching your kid that being kind is embarrassing. you’re such a badass.I’ve spent weeks just saying tweets to shampoo bottles https://t.co/bohbiIkGi4I choose to take the bad with the good!!turns out it feels TERRIBLE to silence yourself and also no longer enjoy belly chuckles randomly throughout the day… https://t.co/h2OEWitYeG
4/16
2021
God I have said fucked up shit and killed myself over it as much as you killed me. But one thing I haven’t learned… https://t.co/rK8W5KPBtZI have made my mistakes, throughout years and in front of hundreds of thousands, and been held accountable for them… https://t.co/lHHSVgfvU9I encourage you to know and never forget that your words matter. No matter what you see, what that person portrays,… https://t.co/7vxpmJBhvTMy desire to be liked and fear of pissing people off has made me somebody you didn’t sign up for, and a different h… https://t.co/KqNrxJFX94My life goal is to make people happy. The pain I feel when I don’t is too much for me. I’ve always been portrayed a… https://t.co/QbJ9vRL30cBut it’s time for me to say goodbye. This no longer serves me as positively as it serves me negatively, and I think… https://t.co/KuxUw7ycYX
3/25
2021
@Nerdista yeah. that is not “mean” and you know it.I didn’t make it!! I got cocky at erewhon @yashar was the plate not enough!!!! where is itWowowowowow I was so proud to bring a tuna wrap wrapped with collard greens instead of carbs upstairs as my night s… https://t.co/C3LHKKv94O @JenBunny_27 I mean at its best it could not be uglier. Lolanyhow almost done with luna’s panda https://t.co/Q7y9wRdWUByou guys are truly just fucking mean. I’ll never get over it. https://t.co/LGSHzufCMf @leather_hunny @ashlyboBASHly @getsafely @KrisJenner my god. just fucking mean.just for comparison, john got to be the king of music https://t.co/uNNfRP8ll4
3/24
2021
Ew https://t.co/7CkjYYbYk7it blows my mind when people just say shit like that. Because it’s true. Just only special kind of people say it. I… https://t.co/10DoKjf2Dtwhen Stephanie said she put something for Harris to eat in his shorts for the trip home. like pocket food?? https://t.co/HK7N8PaU4slegend https://t.co/rA7xYA6HfrI knew he had another side. John didn’t think so but oh, I did https://t.co/96DcAuYazRthe farm kids who live with the parents are def the happiest. or at the least they like to have sex with each other… https://t.co/5spq68R83OLast night’s 90 days oh my godddd. “No I not give ring back! I want to remember how miserable you make me” jaosksjz… https://t.co/puFBP30oDc @upulie he does, but https://t.co/SaCTmZnoc6 @upulie https://t.co/G3q16Yxga8 @assilanedyah work lolI really don’t wake up every day trying to make you mad but somehow I manage. and u say I have no talent. that’s something I guess @upulie Ooo I love it! Season 1 EP 1? @alissa_bobissa @getsafely @KrisJenner that’s fine too. not trying to piss anyone off here.Years in the making - excited to finally announce the launch of @GETSAFELY with two absolute bosses, Emma Grede and… https://t.co/JpUhEA5zIN
3/23
2021
https://t.co/N3efpUASLoNumber 10. Gulp not it https://t.co/ds9modX5Y0
3/22
2021
Look at him LIVING for this. A whole bitch. Lmaonot that it matters OR that you'd ever get the chance to take her to any dinner, anywhere, she has a communications… https://t.co/rMZWzYftT0
3/21
2021
@ecareyo That’s her little sister !!! I too was riled at firstJust leaned about jacket potatoes https://t.co/XGvwH2WD3x
3/20
2021
@sundownmotel Sopping LOLwe should all hope to one day trip on the way up to our personal jetI don’t feel I can do anything well enough or right. I dunno. Maybe just a rough patchdo u ever feel like everyone hates you? I feel like everyone hates me. I’m not looking for you to tell me you don’t… https://t.co/3hOK3BLnHWIt was absolutely a blueberry scone covered in potato skin https://t.co/RTDUoOJkzlno fuckin way I buy this. a coverup https://t.co/rwME3Xg0ry @KindlyMyers @90DayFiance YES DETECTIVE!!No it’s very crumbly like a scone but it was made on the top rack of a grill! It’s killing me https://t.co/671ogvaiYy @mets311grl @90DayFiance No it’s very crumbly @GlassofChamps @90DayFiance No it’s the only thing he made for dinner and it was on the top rack of a bbq!someone please. I beg u. it was made on the bbq and its dinner. I need to know what it is @90DayFiance https://t.co/u2ocASKwky
3/19
2021
The Atlanta shooter blamed a specific race of people for his problems, and then murdered them because of it. If tha… https://t.co/ya27izULtc
Retweeted by chrissy teigenMorse code for I’m tired https://t.co/ES1DGNxYjx
3/18
2021
I know what this is...will leak the info for a price...taking offers. https://t.co/P7TJyGaxjr
Retweeted by chrissy teigenthe fans have spoken and they LOVE us together !!!!! https://t.co/UPz7ZsNwV9WE DID IT, KRIS!!!! https://t.co/vlRfHuNFChGeneral rule: people don't get to decide whether they are racist; other people decide this based on their actions
Retweeted by chrissy teigen
3/17
2021
been my bible, too! https://t.co/bClyr9tee6how have I never heard of braciole! https://t.co/mexjcPn1vX @AlyseWhitney got mine yesterday, too! beverly center? @Ntombi like superhero levelok yikes AGAIN seriously all these combined I didnt know it was possible to be THIS racist https://t.co/yDsQe9CBgpyiiiiiiiikes https://t.co/xkRLorMaIqyiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes https://t.co/NKia5nlFzP @A_mer_LA @instagram @johnlegend sick just seeing this! I was so so hungover by 7pm @franklinleonard The WORST😭 https://t.co/UMoUe3GBbP @UrFavPeruvian I get selfies and casual pics but I’m talking legit magazine like photo shoots I do not know how the… https://t.co/NZsPKKkr85 @AustinOnSocial the fragility. trying to get people riled up about me in your thread, then getting mad when I see i… https://t.co/iJHcjW6cDg @MSOrbea @nytimes @Twitter it is opinion that the latter is true @tjchambersLA @tweetsoutloud so weird you just said this. I will tell you why in a couple months!! @AustinOnSocial I think you are mad I unfollowed but go off. start a whole convo! @AustinOnSocial @MarindaReads “Pls stop” excuse me sir ? @MarindaReads not even talking about selfies. Like full legit photo shoots.file it with “aren’t you cold?” https://t.co/XjBypN4z2gI seriously do not get how so many people I follow on Instagram have so many photos of themselves.before u write someone “why are you still up” ask yourself: “why do I choose to be so annoying? is there still time to change”was gonna ask if he still had a table at elaine’s so I could sit by it and boo him on the daily (i’d relocate) but it’s closed :(Mia is some sort of dream human birthed by two angelshe always wrote, for someone else to say, what a loved genius he was in some way. douche. weirdo.fuck woody allen and his quirky dumb shit that I’m proud to say I always found dumb and self-jerking https://t.co/aQUzekkrch
3/16
2021

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