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Christian Tucci @chrtucci Los Angeles, CA

writer #blacklivesmatter he/him

1,209 Following   7,359 Followers   9,338 Tweets

Joined Twitter 12/26/13


No why stop https://t.co/GPpKY2IX5j @call_me_rory @queer_bones 2 is chic and leather is cool in summer and warm in winter @LisaColeMcClure @shaneisland @oneamyzimmer I think many people who don’t like fondant didn’t have good or fresh fo… https://t.co/UBNqh6ObcLMy kind of giallo https://t.co/CV7k9JBE3bBelieve it or not these are all cakes https://t.co/UOWnpi7qNa
Retweeted by Christian Tucci @troisenator It’s supposed to be a hacksaw :(I went in for one tattoo and then the next thing you know https://t.co/PzMNBDRCkXYou know what they say, abs are made in the kitchen of this four seasons bora bora resort I’ve been quarantined at since march 🤪So anyway, anyone need a tv writer? My specialties are spooky things, teenagers, 80's/90's period pieces, scifi, ma… https://t.co/ObIiiWylg0
Retweeted by Christian TucciBip LingMary CAIGHT and Ashley @idgajon Sry ugh trains 🤪Him: *cums* Me: sorry be there in 15 @shaneisland @oneamyzimmer Technically proficient but like, this is wasteful? Someone made all these cakes just to.… https://t.co/dWslmWchYridc what u losers are arguing about i’m watching a children’s choir sing björk https://t.co/2ivWGTu08C
Retweeted by Christian Tucci @timothydunn 🥰 @tooleeoh Unfortch @MattRogersTho didn’t think it had legs...Moms bragging about how gay their kids are..Beatrix Kiddo and O-Ren Ishii just going back and forth quoting cereal slogansA dystopian future where the only currency of value is your orange theory splat pointsHaunted crocsSenior Superlatives - Most Likely To Introduce Me To His DadBLACKOUT: A woman says "Stairs or Elevator?" and the man says "What the heck, let's do Stairs!" and then we reveal… https://t.co/zg2OD8NEJNMiddle Child park - it’s like a dog park, but you bring your middle child to hang out with other middle childrenSuspiria, but there’s a second girl from Ohio and they just keep talking about Ohio and then form their own Ohio witch cultCharacter: a party host who keeps fixing the fanned napkinsThe Parent Trap twins but one’s a lesbian and she has to teach the other how to be a lesbianCharacter: a woman who has an orange aura and she wants you to know it.A dating game show called "Gondolier, Mime, or Old-Timey Prisoner?"A high school performance of "Beauty School Drop Out" but one of the backup dancers is accidentally dressed as a bearCharacters: moms waiting for their kids to get off a roller coasterThe sound of music kids introducing themselves to Maria but one of them accidentally says "Mom"My Little Bay Window - like a toy doll house but it’s just a bay windowInspired by former Maude Night teammate @shaneisland, here's a thread of my favorite sketch/character pitches of mine...
7/9
2020
@shaneisland I tried hard to write this, but the setup alone took 3 pages @ImCharlieDale This is astonishingRose McGowan (@rosemcgowan) and I roleplay a scenario where she must decide whether or not to call the police on a… https://t.co/EwzCG23XlC
Retweeted by Christian TucciAt least when then next pandemic strikes it will be precedentedJapan’s theme parks have banned screaming on roller coasters because it spreads coronavirus. “Please scream inside… https://t.co/bR25bvDc25
Retweeted by Christian TucciThis is dating during a pandemic https://t.co/ryLfVH0G6I @shaneisland Yes please ShaneI want my bagel sandwich order from bagel factory in Brooklyn :(All credit to @NYCMayor @BilldeBlasio who gaslit an entire city to say mowing down protestors with cars was 👍 and n… https://t.co/JRWOW0wS40
Retweeted by Christian TucciNicholas Hoult is dressed brilliantly throughout The Great https://t.co/CQObmMV9Vl @JoshuaConkel You can make me some tatoes and then you get to prep two!This is meant to be a bargain, not a threatIf someone hires me on a tv show I’ll dye my hair purplea meeting at Vogue: How many questions should we ask them? https://t.co/d0ZCM0J2HA
7/8
2020
@SleepyPanda76 Ribbit. Ribbit.You will invite me to your pool https://t.co/qb40boyONhI went to a cafe in Toluca lake and got a drink called the “Sticky Icky”There are a surprising number of these memes https://t.co/y86GO8Iotp
Retweeted by Christian Tucci @bhaist Oh please I just found this from someone else tweeting it too!!!!!!! https://t.co/rcpgaaOSM0please watch this im losing it https://t.co/Q7FkjAL0YI
Retweeted by Christian TucciPolice almost never: Prevent crime. They show up after. Stop riots. In fact, they start them. Help victims. Mo… https://t.co/kl8XwHpNq0
Retweeted by Christian Tucci @teejslipko This after your attack on cakey brownies @danthfernandes Ah did you miss the part of my tweet where I already named the plant? Yeah I already named the plantBitch I’m a monstera no good blood suckera https://t.co/cJ1TyiyLpx @P_Ramsey Lincoln Heights / El Sereno
7/7
2020
Agatha Christie is the best selling novelist of all time https://t.co/hCQ8ZqZQPO
Retweeted by Christian TucciPUSH FOR $600 COVID ASSISTANCE EXTENSION THROUGH DEC. 31 2020 THERE IS STILL A PANDEMIC GOING ON, NO CURE HAS BEEN… https://t.co/C2oojTuREd
Retweeted by Christian TucciWould anybody like to “network”I got a new plant. Named her Ariadne https://t.co/xixrP2qvxWmelons in a fruit salad https://t.co/bIz35swpz0
Retweeted by Christian TucciI don’t like the cold https://t.co/z3eWfzkmPjme tweeting abt Peanut M&Ms being better than Peanut Butter M&Ms https://t.co/FINormg1bv
Retweeted by Christian Tuccihttps://t.co/F6wy7d18Q7 https://t.co/tBHkrsmLEcOf course I know how to pronounce Ghislaine but you go first
Retweeted by Christian TucciAaron Torgalski and Robert McCabe, the two cops who pushed over Martin Gugino and left him with brain damage that h… https://t.co/7pG6FBGsNt
Retweeted by Christian TucciPlease give us a surprise Marsden triplet https://t.co/9DXPQ2eGNx @JoshuaConkel When dolly performed at Carnegie Hall she thought the maestro suite was disgusting and demanded it be… https://t.co/BAEMzGCkagI found fireworks left out on my run this morning https://t.co/Ejxb0G1fisWhen you purposely don’t wear a mask you contribute to the actual chances that someone will have to mourn a parent,… https://t.co/eOlDoJUJsE
Retweeted by Christian TucciNOOOOOOOOOOOOO https://t.co/FL5wSAqZiV
7/6
2020
drove past an graffiti on Hollywood Blvd today that just said FOR A BAD TIME CALL 911 and fully laughed out loud
Retweeted by Christian TucciTW: Rape, police retaliation In June, Norman, OK cut the police dept. budget by $865,000. In retaliation, an NPD… https://t.co/tqThE0m8wc
Retweeted by Christian TucciThis should be the story all over national media—not Kanye https://t.co/7IM74OC6NE
Retweeted by Christian Tucci @aguirreryan https://t.co/nJrUqAHbnMno one: white gays Instagram posts: https://t.co/ZorAk5xXF1
Retweeted by Christian Tuccii love these https://t.co/3eYPoJs7OL
Retweeted by Christian TucciNormal air quality in LA This morning’s air quality in LA https://t.co/O3MxLmdjuM @iamjackmanning What does this number meanBlack people have been more likely to die from Covid. Black businesses were more likely to be excluded from governm… https://t.co/ccOER8FRsh
Retweeted by Christian TucciIt's the 5th of July. Yesterday, in Seattle, a vehicle drove through a closure where people were peacefully protes… https://t.co/M5xY9nbTsZ
Retweeted by Christian TucciThe fireworks themselves: https://t.co/bPOPv5kDb7A country without fireworks. PleaseBaltimore just tore down the Columbus statue ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏼✊🏻 #blacklivesmatter https://t.co/uX5ty8oI3f
Retweeted by Christian Tucci @geoffmartello https://t.co/Jnz58UZIEmFire somewhere on the east side of LA https://t.co/ZedjzfHDlL
7/5
2020
UNSOLVED MYSTERIES (some of these are solved)I’m embarrassed for my species https://t.co/ZU7cspeMogHow is nothing about the protests around the country trending right now? Every major city is having huge… https://t.co/U2qJDRt0mV
Retweeted by Christian Tucci @JoshuaConkel I’m not here for laughs Joshua @JoshuaConkel Does it help or hurt if I tell you this is the Finnish coast guardReplace Mt. Rushmore with this https://t.co/UhqZIegFlMhttps://t.co/7qRa3kOjy2
Retweeted by Christian TucciGhost stories give me the phoebe bridgersThe world if any country had a purple flag https://t.co/QPdvmUGljA
Retweeted by Christian TucciThe world if any country had a purple flag https://t.co/QPdvmUGljA
7/4
2020

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