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Absolute Peach @ColeyTangerina Te Whanganui-a-Tara

One time when I couldn’t find my friend at a concert, he text me saying he was “at the bk” so I left and went to Burger King to look for him

1,800 Following   4,061 Followers   89,383 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/11/11

My husband, walking into the bedroom “I’m here to cyberbully you in real life” @sarahpolo10 @ired0mi @hmmburg When parboiling, add a tsp of baking soda and salt to the water because it does a th… you can’t decide if you wanna have a fight or not from this mug with an epic hangover feels suitable you ever think about how the whale inside the natural history museum has been hanging there in the dark for five months
Retweeted by Absolute PeachMotivational image especially for all my bespectacled mask-wearing pals 🌫🌫👓🌫🌫
Retweeted by Absolute Peach“Now get your boots and your coat for this wet-ass pussy”
Retweeted by Absolute Peach
@mintyhiggins“Now get your boots and your coat for this wet-ass pussy” only barely tolerates us
Retweeted by Absolute Peach#blessed to have one of each please check in on your friend’s ex-boss’s brother-in-law who works for the government, they must be feeli…
Retweeted by Absolute Peach @hinemoana Was Oberammergau incredible? It’s definitely on my bucket list. @hinemoana I’m baptised Anglican but my dad’s family are Irish Catholic and I spent 4 years at a very very Catholic… is a very niche Catholic Oberammergau joke I’m sorry everyone.If we ever have to go to Level 5 it will just be us vowing to perform a Passion Play every 10 years for the rest of… @CaitlinSnark A @TheSpinoffTV article at least. @CaitlinSnark “Go fast. Go early” @CaitlinSnark *chuckles in “Go Hard”*SIR, THAT IS A HARE do not need to take this to know that I’m Miss Piggy 😂 someone insults your new obsession
Retweeted by Absolute Peach @kendra_c__ Saw it in an 80’s daytime soap opera, so, same vibes 🤝 @its_not_lupus This is the horniest you’ve ever been on main
@simonpnz Put this in The Lourve"trans agenda" is just the italian way of saying transgender
Retweeted by Absolute PeachYour friend who works for the government does not "know" we are going in to Level 3 or 4. I'm your friend who works…
Retweeted by Absolute Peach @AsherGoldman @wellingtonista @teurakura Nah further down. @bonesbynow what the FUCK KYLE, step the FUCK UPArchitecture of Soviet Modernism
Retweeted by Absolute PeachIt's that screen to screen kinda life, baby!
Retweeted by Absolute PeachI don't understand what ethnicity were they
Retweeted by Absolute Peach @aoinifh @antheaw These PHOTOS 😍 @HdizzyDizzle Traditions are important. @librarykris I’ve never been more sure about anything than I am about you already being excellent at sexting."There is no blame or shame in having Covid-19. The virus is the problem, not people" said Director-General of Heal…
Retweeted by Absolute PeachY’all gonna have to get good at sexting again if we go into level 4, huh? @amiewee I just bought that very harness! @markboynz Thank you MARK. Not thank you @SIMONPNZIs the answer to this for me to just not be such an easy mark? NO, FUCK UP. Does this mean I’ll stop rising to the… @low_res_puppies Move over Sun King, time for Moon Queens imo.My husband is too good at teasing me about people I have crushes on and he doesn’t rise AT ALL when I give it back which is INFURIATINGShe was cold ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ German invasion of Poland, thanks for asking. @malentendidonz The Kings of Leon tag had me in stitchesThis is so beautiful, and what really gets me is that this name also speaks to the *return* of kākā to the area. Th… @ellashepston Simon and I saw it without the clickhole context and went looking for a full 10 minutes before we fou… can I pay to perform a monologue of this plz @nzlemming Hasn’t done for several years, no. (He’s 11). @HelenClifton8 YUP @pitakakariki Yesssss @simonpnz She never looks this happy with me 😂My dog weighs 4 cats. @pitakakariki I don’t know what that is!In addition to me measuring weight in units of cats, I now measure distance by songs. For instance, it takes me one… @antheaw IS BLENDED JUICE NOT JUST JUICE, THOUGH?FOR THE RECORD I only went to Honey Badger at 2pm and had a margarita for medicinal purposes @ohyoufox Boston fern! Lush boi.Feeling shamed into being wholesome again in case my movements need to be reported on national television
Retweeted by Absolute Peach @AmyDentata Woah 🤯 @BenUffindell We’ll have a zoom meeting. Don’t sweat it.Super glad to announce my child has stopped leaving his teeth around the house once they fall out of his mouth. Tur… checking if you’re a crow
Retweeted by Absolute Peach @ColeyTangerina blueberries, pumpkins, or blumpkins
Retweeted by Absolute PeachWHAT IS BLUICE
@WendyWings I think Peanut might be the inverse colours of @TawhaiMoss’ little Clive!‘It Was a Different Time,’ Says Mom Referring to Racist Comment Made Five Minutes Ago:
Retweeted by Absolute PeachThis is an UNCLENCH YOUR JAW checkpoint
Retweeted by Absolute Peach @myelemanzanza She’s better than some uni bands I’ve seen eh.Excuse me please @myelemanzanza you need to see this @Dickens_chicken Yes but only because there was whisky and a sleeping pill but @kylemacd approved so 😂Please report conspiracy theories to social platforms. This is dangerous stuff that's being peddled. Don't engage,…
Retweeted by Absolute Peach @reidwicks Stop tweeting about me Reid. @tui_talk Fanny Adams!Everyone’s aunties on Facebook right now like husband took it upon himself to buy us BOTH face masks so now I have the high fashion joy of choosing between “h… @HdizzyDizzle Fucking exhausting 🙄Shakshouka 🙏’s nearly Southern Hemisphere Ostara/Easter (and my birthday) and these beauties are out 🌸 dudes will scream “slob on my knob” word for word and crying abt WAP 😂 bye lil boy
Retweeted by Absolute Peach @byroncclark Oh god which one am I?anyone currently inside a zorb must stay inside that zorb
Retweeted by Absolute Peach
@dpfdpf I mean, or we’d think that best practice community epidemiology dictates those things because we’re in the…’m very thankful for my emotional support pumpkin this morning an Irish tea and a zopiclone because that genuinely is self care rn ehRaise your hand if you too got the screaming War of the Worlds nightmare phone alert and briefly got to enjoy the f…
Retweeted by Absolute PeachNB: This tweet is not intended to imply that because I have a tattoo which has the word ‘gang’ in it, I would be tr… note that it’s possible to be critical of leaders and the Government in some areas, while being expressly t… way Dr Bloomfield looks at the PM as she nails messaging is just beautiful. He’s so chuffed at her accessible,… @Dickens_chicken LOVE them. The one in Queenstown is to die for. @reidwicks RUDE @hadyngreen From a natural spring or?Imagine if Wellington had hotpools. I just want to gently cook myself.Fran Fines wardrobe was far superior to Carrie Bradshaws. Fight me
Retweeted by Absolute Peach @PronouncedHare Sure, but I could take you and you know it. @femme_podcast RIGHT? @KyleDChurch Plant. Ha ha.anyway this tiktok is my whole mood lately
Retweeted by Absolute Peach