Sign in with Twitter


male housewife @collegedormenvy juno/21/♂️/he/him/👬

the creator of the mirror poisoned the human soul

170 Following   96 Followers   29,488 Tweets

Joined Twitter 11/1/16

yall out here asking why everyone deserves atleast $15 for their labor and not why a single person deserves 100 bil…
Retweeted by male housewifeall fanfic sucks except for my little sister's shrek fanfic where he dramatically mourns the tragic loss of donkey
Retweeted by male housewifeI extremely miss sitting on my porch and smoking a joint while watching the sun riseA man told me I had a "beautiful head of hair" today which was sweet but then followed it up with saying I had "ric… other night when I went on my Gin Binge I was convinced that I had fallen asleep before beating kaneshiros shad… I'm alone at work like when im stocking the cooler or cleaning bathrooms I like have therapy sessions in m… really need to fire the therapist in my head. She is soooo toxic 🙄
I wonder what makes a man see me taking out the trash & compels him to call me "sexy baby" or why they see me repla…'d be amazed how often I hear unsolicited comments about my body and am touched without consent by men at work c… is why i hate the whole "i don't dream of labor" catchphrase. labor is definitionally anything that expends en…
Retweeted by male housewifeno its not “nobody who works deserves to be in poverty. “ its nobody deserves to be in poverty period. your ability…
Retweeted by male housewiferip lil buddy whoever left their half smoked blunt on my counter at work today accidentally I know you are having a horrible n…
Retweeted by male housewifeIve been almost 48 hours without a drink 🥳🥳🥳Sometimes I think videos of ppl sleepwalking and stuff are like staged cuz of how over thr top they are but my bf j… @SERVANTNAGlT0 Thank u for the meal @sludgetears were both like over 2 years old and less than 7 dollars apiece so I knew this day was coming...both of my regular ps3 controllers broke so this is how we gotta watch netflix now and elusive night parrotPotato from Pui Pui Molcars
Retweeted by male housewifemy bf looking at wiki articles of extinct/almost extinct species: oh yeah...this is a rare motherfucker
@godrioting Omg I read this too fast and thought you were talking about me and I was like ELLIOT NOGO AWAY
Twitter is actively performing psychological warfare on me by continuing to place random kpop and bts tweets on my… @twcpaeb @2 Completely unrelated but your hair looks so 😚👌 in these pictures THE CUT AFTER HIS SQUEALING
Retweeted by male housewifeWe make 9 an hour yall can go straight to hellMan this email my manager just sent us in yhe work gc is the most ridiculous shit I've ever seen in my life @SERVANTNAGlT0 ME TOO HOLY SHIT @godrioting That color suits u soooo well @bigjoosypoosy I'm going to CRY!!! you both mean so much to me...I know I don't keep in touch often but you are bot… @bigjoosypoosy auggie im literally gonna cry... you mean so much to me... remember you and Venus can come to me alw… @bigjoosypoosy I love you so much. Your kindness and care will make a difference one daymy bf, in his sleep and sounding COMPLETELY awake: ...hewwo? Hewwo??I sincerely, 200%, without a shadow of doubt in my heart, believe stretch marks are Insanely cute @bigjoosypoosy I literally thought u edited this picture omg...My priv is @friedeggsunset oomfies are free to follow ^_^ I feel like complainingI'm finally at ponytail length but im goin thru ponytail holders like a mf bc they keep snapping in half after a few hours of use?Ok does anyone with very thick hair have any experience with hairbands that don't snap in half after a few hours of wearI'm the only person awake in the house rn at 3 am and my dog just squeaked her toy ngl that put the fear of God in me for a minIdk I shouldn't pay this much attention to celebs but the dude looks SOOO fucking greasy oh ky GODMan they really let the ugliest people get rich huh
@kirbyamsr 🥺🥺🥺 you are such an angel i am sending so many hugs and kissies @kirbyamsr Insanely cool/pretty name!!Time for a little controversy...I've been using tumblr since 2012/2013 and have never once used xkitI know my bf gonna be mad in about 10 min cuz I asked if I could set some alarms on his phone to wake him up to pic… who is a wife
Retweeted by male housewife#冬の創作クラスタフォロー祭り
Retweeted by male housewifeWhy is noticing that my pants zipper down so humiliating. I literally do not care when I see other people with thei… unhoused 18-23 y/o youth in Oakland ⚠️
Retweeted by male housewife
Was just informed that while my bf was a football player in middle school I was a cheerleader and therefore we are a stereotype now @spIatbrella Yes please! @SERVANTNAGlT0 Maybe ive purposefully blocked it out of my mind @spIatbrella Sooo cute... post pics when its done! @SERVANTNAGlT0 Zane this might be the tweet that makes me end the mutual. Its been a good run buddy
My dad referred to me and my bf as his "nasty little housemates today"there’s no restorative purpose behind denying an incarcerated person real food. this wouldn’t be a meal for a dog,…
Retweeted by male housewife @SERVANTNAGlT0 NOOOO @godrioting Thank u King!Tonight a man bought me a pack of cigs just Because @SERVANTNAGlT0 Thanks I got them know what I cant finish this tweet @SERVANTNAGlT0 Thats not ryo that's Ron
Retweeted by male housewifeI feel like this is a "say you have autism without saying you have autism" momentearly youtube my meeba fandom colouring this but the black and white version is my favourite
Retweeted by male housewifedonkeyslap bitches
Retweeted by male housewife
My 93 year old great grandma made a fb and has around 600 friend requests right now. Here is a series of messages s… @Iunateas Can't wait 2 watch tiktoks with u in hell bestieyou’re laughing? A grown man tased his own balls until he died, and you’re laughing?
Retweeted by male housewifeBREAKING: Current DC police officers just went on the record as saying that off-duty police officers and members of…
Retweeted by male housewifeMe and my bf have our one year so fucking soon @Iunateas Tell me about it brother @yungceliac Hi king I miss yall tell bridget I said hewwo @doctopmary I literally own one but hes not from an anime and I literally cannot tell anyone what character it is o…
Stop calling the cops incompetent instead of complicit
Retweeted by male housewife @antihoa I'm having vodka and waffle house for breakfastYour images of the day what it is but looking at my reflection in the bathroom mirror of a house that's not mine just really has me si… capitol police can arrest journalists covering the coup but not the people doing the coup?
Retweeted by male housewife
Social situations really got my autistic ass sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the tubthread of people who are helping people in dc
Retweeted by male housewifeWhen I tell you everyone in this airbnb screamedHe did NOT just say "we love you, you're very special"Reminder fo what capitol "security" in full military-grade riot gear looked like for Black Lives Matter protests th…
Retweeted by male housewifeNo I don't think it was some kind of innuendo bc he told me it was expiring soon and didn't want it to wasteI'm in Atlanta outside smoking a cig and a nice elderly man just asked me from his car if I wanted any white bread.… at my bfs twin is very frightening to me in a way I cannot explainJust thinking about how many people were blinded and bloodied and broken all summer for doing far less than this
Retweeted by male housewifeThey didn't breach shit, they were allowed in by the cops.
Retweeted by male housewifeWhat da fuck!!!Big day for junos eye makeup but who the hell is callmecarsonHeaded 2 tha big ATL todayTo whoever sb'd me for this I Apologize bf, pressing two plushes to his bare chest: honey they're stealing my juicesmy bf got us these matching necklaces & they came in today and honesfly its very emo middle schooler but I am LIVIN…