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Finally, comedy on Twitter.

6,599 Following   1,619,253 Followers   98,054 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/11/09


me and @BrendanScannell got to make some sketches for @ComedyCentral this summer. the first one is called “Skip Ad.… https://t.co/7Pext6wJBg
Retweeted by Comedy CentralEven @TiffanyHaddish got pranked on #CrankYankers. https://t.co/CCsky5NFVEDon't worry, making this @nytimes list hasn't changed us one bit. We're still unhappy. https://t.co/Hs8lGhfdQD
Retweeted by Comedy CentralI feel attacked. 😂😂😂❤️ https://t.co/u8gMgPCbPp
Retweeted by Comedy CentralOne thing a lot of people don’t know about Al Capone is that he was very, very stupid. @JoeLoTruglio https://t.co/EWyPPpfzI5
Retweeted by Comedy CentralMarriage Story features a powerhouse performance from @cosyreiss. https://t.co/TnvSaaBey2Excited to finally get to announce this news. https://t.co/WRHzohKqvf
Retweeted by Comedy CentralDon’t judge @raesanni for watching what she watches. https://t.co/qycwfXEJJ8
Retweeted by Comedy CentralUnlock greatness. #ParksAndRec is on now. https://t.co/A632sumAT2
12/14
2019
Please Don’t Skip this sketch I grew 🌺👵🏼🌸 https://t.co/dNuTbbPdSg
Retweeted by Comedy Centralif you’ve been wondering what it’s like to rap on mushrooms, well here ya go https://t.co/N5BoLHyIL2
Retweeted by Comedy CentralWorking out can be dangerous. Just ask @natebargatze. https://t.co/B0oVON5Ebv
Retweeted by Comedy CentralSome pretty out-there stuff happens if you don’t click that “Skip Ad” button. @BrendanScannell https://t.co/eSFSLUEEHiShrooms and shoes don't mix. @fattonyrap trips through a rap show at a haunted venue. #TalesFromTheTrip https://t.co/4FG2dCPVulLet’s put aside our political differences and remember that, impeached or not, Trump is an asshole 🌈 https://t.co/udYd7IBI2e
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12/13
2019
It’s like therapy, but cheaper. @simmi gets closure with @Justsydnyc. https://t.co/hAW5StyHeM
Retweeted by Comedy Central.@Stassi Schroeder says Chris Harrison is cramping her style by officiating weddings, but @funnybrad and… https://t.co/pJTD6TvmAm
Retweeted by Comedy CentralWhen you’re at a dinner party and they make you sit next to the host’s “work friend.” https://t.co/18KmxhML3oPre-Tangled Holiday Lights™: a perfect gift for the unhelpful male in your life. Shop now: https://t.co/sImhsto6bThttps://t.co/UgW59JZZ4y
Retweeted by Comedy CentralImagine how much it’d be worth if it was duct taped to a wall. https://t.co/VwzyXS3WcAWhat’s one thing Bush, Obama and Trump all have in common? Obscuring the true story of America’s war in Afghanistan. https://t.co/mqT2CxXwWm
Retweeted by Comedy CentralLove means never having to say "WHAT?" #ComedyTBT https://t.co/LbWmIO2QtjTerrence (@jimmykimmel) starts a rivalry between Bobby Brown and Millie Bobby Brown, tonight at 10:30/9:30c on… https://t.co/tLuaS0dYb2
12/12
2019
Tonight's @SouthPark season finale features a very special guest: Santa Claus. https://t.co/baQArarsiKWe were lucky to have Chris Cotton. Gone far too soon. https://t.co/is1RF3s9uLWe’re devastated by the loss of Chris Cotton – a hilarious comedian, a beloved member of the Comedy Central family… https://t.co/6rIl8DgSTrJRVP made the @vulture list of best comedy podcasts! Vulture has never been wrong https://t.co/njeYvzFgHX
Retweeted by Comedy CentralWatch an exclusive clip from tonight's Crank Yankers finale, as Millie Bobby Brown's "agent" tries to talk Bobby Br… https://t.co/1dJZNzECsp
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12/11
2019
https://t.co/CCYD3T8BjZ https://t.co/VgmrxVVExzEXCLUSIVE! The video for our song #ChristmasMagic, featuring some of your favorite comedians, is out now. Watch! https://t.co/a6m6mZgtLr
Retweeted by Comedy CentralIntroducing the first Spanish-speaking Ninja Turtle. @_chrisgarcia https://t.co/MMiwwgckfW
Retweeted by Comedy CentralNew Best of #TheBonfire w/ @bigjayoakerson & @DanSoder Podcast is up now wherever you listen! Download, Rate, Revie… https://t.co/NUEm2du9vq
Retweeted by Comedy CentralServing Size: 1. https://t.co/pH3HzpHuywThe Lakers are 21-3 but everyone is talking about Lizzo. Full piece: https://t.co/q5lXtVab9Q https://t.co/3ClT5XguxS
Retweeted by Comedy CentralWanna avoid a winter cold? No problem. Just avoid humans. #YouDidntWannaKnow @Justsydnyc https://t.co/zHhSy1eDSqGreta Gerwig snubbed again. https://t.co/fzL30tYzv2Nick Cannon and Eminem right now. https://t.co/52F58g5OLB
12/10
2019
Even #Tosh has a breaking point. https://t.co/loOZK8bKk0
Retweeted by Comedy Central.@roywoodjr gets a literal taste of the alternative-meat world. Full piece: https://t.co/zzzPEcnV7P https://t.co/o3L3UL0gJp
Retweeted by Comedy CentralNew Christmas tree topper for extremely religious folks. https://t.co/UAxTq9BYVCWhen a smart watch becomes a stupid problem, it's time for an intervention. @simmi #AddictionBusters https://t.co/4BFhcMv6IW
Retweeted by Comedy CentralPre-Tangled Holiday Lights™: a perfect gift for the unhelpful male in your life. Shop now: https://t.co/sImhsto6bThttps://t.co/UgW59JZZ4yOh this was therapy? I thought we were getting together to eat Mac n cheese and talk.... 😂✊🏽❤️ https://t.co/rc3nmg95iS
Retweeted by Comedy CentralBlake the Halls! We played Santa for @blakegriffin23, as he unboxed #AsSeenOnCC holiday gifts. Shop now:… https://t.co/6RJzJFMJ2X
Retweeted by Comedy CentralDepends. Are you: Very sad? A drug dealer from the 80s? Hot enough that it doesn’t matter? If you answered yes to a… https://t.co/ljSQqlCs4ZRobert De Niro watching the Golden Globe nominations. https://t.co/NsBOYLpSJl.@billburr thinks these stand-ups have what it takes to make it big. Look out for The Ringers, premiering January 1… https://t.co/yeHmO3xgsT
Retweeted by Comedy CentralYou don't have to be white to love trail mix, but it helps. @Ali_Speaks has your Morning Routine. https://t.co/pGvy8G8Ynn.@simmi and @natashavaynblat go head-to-head in the cheekiest show on the internet. #SitOnIt https://t.co/erqWnfrGVr
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12/9
2019
Freeze. #SuperTroopers is on now. https://t.co/X5ZqZ53munEven #Tosh has a breaking point. https://t.co/loOZK8bKk0When your roommate accuses you of eating his food. https://t.co/MSX39xLOUb
Retweeted by Comedy CentralThere’s always an app for everything. We gotchu! ✊🏽 #BreakUpBox https://t.co/iINdHN2aCX
Retweeted by Comedy CentralIt’s like therapy, but cheaper. @simmi gets closure with @Justsydnyc. https://t.co/hAW5StyHeMTattoos? OK. Nipple piercing? Absolutely not. #TattooFails @simmi https://t.co/guR6NBss9O
Retweeted by Comedy CentralEverybody jump. #TheOffice is on now. https://t.co/IMeSJtGuFm
12/8
2019
Some people really don't know how to talk on the phone. https://t.co/wZyOr0kwaS.@danieltosh: “I think if you’re gonna get a tattoo, just get one: the words ‘I’m dumb.’” https://t.co/QHivTo9FFi
Retweeted by Comedy CentralLet the celebration begin. https://t.co/sn4v3O3stfBreak them like they broke you with Breakup Box. #ThatsAnApp @simmi https://t.co/b18oLTYJ25Take a shot in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit(s) with Nativity Flasks™. Get your holiday survival prod… https://t.co/8QMiWdHbHb
Retweeted by Comedy CentralGood advice. #ParksAndRec is on now. https://t.co/2VPe3X6Sb4
12/7
2019
She will not be silenced. Bill Burr Presents @jessykirson: Talking to Myself, tonight at 12a/11c. https://t.co/rUMpIZnWpIYou’ve heard of Elf on a Shelf, but have you heard of… https://t.co/xAioZkRqjYA lack of Baby Yoda merch has @DavidSpade inspired to come up with some of his own ideas with the help of panelists… https://t.co/zFC3RZKz8A
Retweeted by Comedy CentralBlake the Halls! We played Santa for @blakegriffin23, as he unboxed #AsSeenOnCC holiday gifts. Shop now:… https://t.co/6RJzJFMJ2XWhen your roommate accuses you of eating his food. https://t.co/MSX39xLOUbWhile Trump is loudly offending people, his administration is quietly affecting people. https://t.co/muT0brfRPt
Retweeted by Comedy Central“Which one of you weirdos took my breakfast? It was clearly taped to the wall.” — Art Basel janitor https://t.co/aTn1MWiZnE @ditzkoff https://t.co/6kTrxH6yzzYou have the right to remain excited. Reno 911 is coming back to @Quibi. https://t.co/8g7es1GwTS.@JessicaKirson's grandma's friend definitely doesn't understand what she does for a living. https://t.co/6wtyAaBfqa
Retweeted by Comedy CentralWhen a smart watch becomes a stupid problem, it's time for an intervention. @simmi #AddictionBusters https://t.co/4BFhcMv6IWGet old or die trying. #Jumanji https://t.co/6MQej9kf3U
12/6
2019
Turns out world leaders are just like us: catty, gossipy bitches. https://t.co/QjBau53yjE
Retweeted by Comedy CentralGonna tell our kids this was Forrest Gump. https://t.co/HvXET6sIGTThe elderly can be brutal. @JessicaKirson https://t.co/Vx5OGNo6Dm
Retweeted by Comedy CentralThis week on the Your 2 Dads program, we welcome ⁦@sergiocserna⁩, he’s not only a dad, he’s also basically my son. https://t.co/vNJK9eOIiH
Retweeted by Comedy CentralEver question your phone actually causing aviation issues? Well, we have the answers. We’re experts so just listen.… https://t.co/ZDv19uXoY2
Retweeted by Comedy CentralWe had @JessicaKirson on #TheBonfire w/ @bigjayoakerson & @dansoder and Woke Terminator was born! @billburr present… https://t.co/ErF0cH2zFS
Retweeted by Comedy CentralRinging in @ViacomCBS on the floor of @nasdaq! #ViacomCBS https://t.co/LBomc3dSni
Retweeted by Comedy Central.@simmi and @natashavaynblat go head-to-head in the cheekiest show on the internet. #SitOnIt https://t.co/erqWnfrGVrMom and Dad are getting back together. #ViacomCBS https://t.co/Wuy3Gc9h0OOnce again, buttholes are the talk of the town. @annielederman @dustyslay https://t.co/t70hDiAeXg
Retweeted by Comedy CentralTIDAL subscribers today. https://t.co/x0kmfJgqFmHow does this not get called https://t.co/VPiRaE6Qa0
Retweeted by Comedy CentralThose that forget the past are doomed to wear cargo shorts again. #ComedyTBT https://t.co/cWRenVFLBB
12/5
2019
The citizens of Yankerville are definitely getting on the Naughty List, tonight on #CrankYankers. https://t.co/EJvE3dSIMoNever go to Cartman for relationship advice. New @SouthPark tonight at 10/9c. https://t.co/ooX6nqUuutAll dogs go to heaven, as long as they graduate seminary school. #MiniMocks @simmi https://t.co/idEVHxxz7V
Retweeted by Comedy Central.@JessicaKirson’s mom may have overlooked some serious red flags. https://t.co/dsaaNaDWmb
Retweeted by Comedy Central!!!! @SouthSideChi !!!! https://t.co/Xf2e33l8D0
Retweeted by Comedy CentralDavid Spade left a few people out of Lights Out's Weekend Update reunion, so Colin Jost, Chevy Chase and… https://t.co/TFvgBIM4xh
Retweeted by Comedy CentralIt’s coming!!! Dec. 6th Comedy Central!!!@allthingscomedy @standup @ComedyCentral @billburr @stevenfeinartzhttps://t.co/V6C1IsipSw
Retweeted by Comedy CentralTrump heads to the NATO Summit and starts some ~boeuf~ with French president Macron. https://t.co/F0pCzcCkNm
Retweeted by Comedy CentralTattoos? OK. Nipple piercing? Absolutely not. #TattooFails @simmi https://t.co/guR6NBss9OTitle pitches for the new Planet of the Apes movie: The Planet of the Planet of the Apes Who Let the Apes Out? The… https://t.co/koEfuheX5Y“Tell me about the hopeless place you found love in.” https://t.co/pvwxBGYR9rAll my favorite people on one show. Can’t wait for @NoraFromQueens ❤️ @awkwafina @bowenyang @BD_WONG ❤️ https://t.co/rwV5rfHwyh
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12/4
2019
You know who fought AGAINST the Nazis in World War II? Adolf Hitler’s nephew. https://t.co/92zgdJE2n3
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12/3
2019

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