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Finally, comedy on Twitter.

6,599 Following   1,619,253 Followers   98,054 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/11/09

me and @BrendanScannell got to make some sketches for @ComedyCentral this summer. the first one is called “Skip Ad.…
Retweeted by Comedy CentralEven @TiffanyHaddish got pranked on #CrankYankers.'t worry, making this @nytimes list hasn't changed us one bit. We're still unhappy.
Retweeted by Comedy CentralI feel attacked. 😂😂😂❤️
Retweeted by Comedy CentralOne thing a lot of people don’t know about Al Capone is that he was very, very stupid. @JoeLoTruglio
Retweeted by Comedy CentralMarriage Story features a powerhouse performance from @cosyreiss. to finally get to announce this news.
Retweeted by Comedy CentralDon’t judge @raesanni for watching what she watches.
Retweeted by Comedy CentralUnlock greatness. #ParksAndRec is on now.
Please Don’t Skip this sketch I grew 🌺👵🏼🌸
Retweeted by Comedy Centralif you’ve been wondering what it’s like to rap on mushrooms, well here ya go
Retweeted by Comedy CentralWorking out can be dangerous. Just ask @natebargatze.
Retweeted by Comedy CentralSome pretty out-there stuff happens if you don’t click that “Skip Ad” button. @BrendanScannell and shoes don't mix. @fattonyrap trips through a rap show at a haunted venue. #TalesFromTheTrip’s put aside our political differences and remember that, impeached or not, Trump is an asshole 🌈
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It’s like therapy, but cheaper. @simmi gets closure with @Justsydnyc.
Retweeted by Comedy Central.@Stassi Schroeder says Chris Harrison is cramping her style by officiating weddings, but @funnybrad and…
Retweeted by Comedy CentralWhen you’re at a dinner party and they make you sit next to the host’s “work friend.” Holiday Lights™: a perfect gift for the unhelpful male in your life. Shop now:
Retweeted by Comedy CentralImagine how much it’d be worth if it was duct taped to a wall.’s one thing Bush, Obama and Trump all have in common? Obscuring the true story of America’s war in Afghanistan.
Retweeted by Comedy CentralLove means never having to say "WHAT?" #ComedyTBT (@jimmykimmel) starts a rivalry between Bobby Brown and Millie Bobby Brown, tonight at 10:30/9:30c on…
Tonight's @SouthPark season finale features a very special guest: Santa Claus. were lucky to have Chris Cotton. Gone far too soon.’re devastated by the loss of Chris Cotton – a hilarious comedian, a beloved member of the Comedy Central family… made the @vulture list of best comedy podcasts! Vulture has never been wrong
Retweeted by Comedy CentralWatch an exclusive clip from tonight's Crank Yankers finale, as Millie Bobby Brown's "agent" tries to talk Bobby Br…
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2019! The video for our song #ChristmasMagic, featuring some of your favorite comedians, is out now. Watch!
Retweeted by Comedy CentralIntroducing the first Spanish-speaking Ninja Turtle. @_chrisgarcia
Retweeted by Comedy CentralNew Best of #TheBonfire w/ @bigjayoakerson & @DanSoder Podcast is up now wherever you listen! Download, Rate, Revie…
Retweeted by Comedy CentralServing Size: 1. Lakers are 21-3 but everyone is talking about Lizzo. Full piece:
Retweeted by Comedy CentralWanna avoid a winter cold? No problem. Just avoid humans. #YouDidntWannaKnow @Justsydnyc Gerwig snubbed again. Cannon and Eminem right now.
Even #Tosh has a breaking point.
Retweeted by Comedy Central.@roywoodjr gets a literal taste of the alternative-meat world. Full piece:
Retweeted by Comedy CentralNew Christmas tree topper for extremely religious folks. a smart watch becomes a stupid problem, it's time for an intervention. @simmi #AddictionBusters
Retweeted by Comedy CentralPre-Tangled Holiday Lights™: a perfect gift for the unhelpful male in your life. Shop now: this was therapy? I thought we were getting together to eat Mac n cheese and talk.... 😂✊🏽❤️
Retweeted by Comedy CentralBlake the Halls! We played Santa for @blakegriffin23, as he unboxed #AsSeenOnCC holiday gifts. Shop now:…
Retweeted by Comedy CentralDepends. Are you: Very sad? A drug dealer from the 80s? Hot enough that it doesn’t matter? If you answered yes to a… De Niro watching the Golden Globe nominations. thinks these stand-ups have what it takes to make it big. Look out for The Ringers, premiering January 1…
Retweeted by Comedy CentralYou don't have to be white to love trail mix, but it helps. @Ali_Speaks has your Morning Routine. and @natashavaynblat go head-to-head in the cheekiest show on the internet. #SitOnIt
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Freeze. #SuperTroopers is on now. #Tosh has a breaking point. your roommate accuses you of eating his food.
Retweeted by Comedy CentralThere’s always an app for everything. We gotchu! ✊🏽 #BreakUpBox
Retweeted by Comedy CentralIt’s like therapy, but cheaper. @simmi gets closure with @Justsydnyc. OK. Nipple piercing? Absolutely not. #TattooFails @simmi
Retweeted by Comedy CentralEverybody jump. #TheOffice is on now.
Some people really don't know how to talk on the phone. “I think if you’re gonna get a tattoo, just get one: the words ‘I’m dumb.’”
Retweeted by Comedy CentralLet the celebration begin. them like they broke you with Breakup Box. #ThatsAnApp @simmi a shot in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit(s) with Nativity Flasks™. Get your holiday survival prod…
Retweeted by Comedy CentralGood advice. #ParksAndRec is on now.
She will not be silenced. Bill Burr Presents @jessykirson: Talking to Myself, tonight at 12a/11c.’ve heard of Elf on a Shelf, but have you heard of… lack of Baby Yoda merch has @DavidSpade inspired to come up with some of his own ideas with the help of panelists…
Retweeted by Comedy CentralBlake the Halls! We played Santa for @blakegriffin23, as he unboxed #AsSeenOnCC holiday gifts. Shop now:… your roommate accuses you of eating his food. Trump is loudly offending people, his administration is quietly affecting people.
Retweeted by Comedy Central“Which one of you weirdos took my breakfast? It was clearly taped to the wall.” — Art Basel janitor @ditzkoff have the right to remain excited. Reno 911 is coming back to @Quibi.'s grandma's friend definitely doesn't understand what she does for a living.
Retweeted by Comedy CentralWhen a smart watch becomes a stupid problem, it's time for an intervention. @simmi #AddictionBusters old or die trying. #Jumanji
Turns out world leaders are just like us: catty, gossipy bitches.
Retweeted by Comedy CentralGonna tell our kids this was Forrest Gump. elderly can be brutal. @JessicaKirson
Retweeted by Comedy CentralThis week on the Your 2 Dads program, we welcome ⁦@sergiocserna⁩, he’s not only a dad, he’s also basically my son.
Retweeted by Comedy CentralEver question your phone actually causing aviation issues? Well, we have the answers. We’re experts so just listen.…
Retweeted by Comedy CentralWe had @JessicaKirson on #TheBonfire w/ @bigjayoakerson & @dansoder and Woke Terminator was born! @billburr present…
Retweeted by Comedy CentralRinging in @ViacomCBS on the floor of @nasdaq! #ViacomCBS
Retweeted by Comedy Central.@simmi and @natashavaynblat go head-to-head in the cheekiest show on the internet. #SitOnIt and Dad are getting back together. #ViacomCBS again, buttholes are the talk of the town. @annielederman @dustyslay
Retweeted by Comedy CentralTIDAL subscribers today. does this not get called
Retweeted by Comedy CentralThose that forget the past are doomed to wear cargo shorts again. #ComedyTBT
The citizens of Yankerville are definitely getting on the Naughty List, tonight on #CrankYankers. go to Cartman for relationship advice. New @SouthPark tonight at 10/9c. dogs go to heaven, as long as they graduate seminary school. #MiniMocks @simmi
Retweeted by Comedy Central.@JessicaKirson’s mom may have overlooked some serious red flags.
Retweeted by Comedy Central!!!! @SouthSideChi !!!!
Retweeted by Comedy CentralDavid Spade left a few people out of Lights Out's Weekend Update reunion, so Colin Jost, Chevy Chase and…
Retweeted by Comedy CentralIt’s coming!!! Dec. 6th Comedy Central!!!@allthingscomedy @standup @ComedyCentral @billburr @stevenfeinartz
Retweeted by Comedy CentralTrump heads to the NATO Summit and starts some ~boeuf~ with French president Macron.
Retweeted by Comedy CentralTattoos? OK. Nipple piercing? Absolutely not. #TattooFails @simmi pitches for the new Planet of the Apes movie: The Planet of the Planet of the Apes Who Let the Apes Out? The…“Tell me about the hopeless place you found love in.” my favorite people on one show. Can’t wait for @NoraFromQueens ❤️ @awkwafina @bowenyang @BD_WONG ❤️
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You know who fought AGAINST the Nazis in World War II? Adolf Hitler’s nephew.
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