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this is your doctorโ€™s web site

746 Following   2,132 Followers   7,920 Tweets

Joined Twitter 12/15/08


@patrickcotnoir @connorratliff @GriffLightning https://t.co/otFPR4ts6sThe Harold teams start performing at 9AMThis is one of the most embarrassing things Iโ€™ve ever seen https://t.co/hDlJIDUTHh @WhoaMorgan Any chance I could ensure my role involves intense manual labor? I wanna make sure Iโ€™m really sweaty whโ€ฆ https://t.co/LibCJLtIDO
6/17
2019
All the LA DCM shows from 1pm to 1am are ticketed and $15 per 2 hour slot The pass is $20 and only lets you see biโ€ฆ https://t.co/8z7oarGAR0Happy Fatherโ€™s Day!! #็ˆถใฎๆ—ฅ #FathersDay #messagecard #Champagne https://t.co/I1pVb1THcK
Retweeted by ๐“™๐“ธ๐“ฑ๐“ท ๐“ฃ๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฑ ๐“•๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ข๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎHappy Fatherโ€™s Day to this dad only https://t.co/VKlIyOCM8whttps://t.co/2jLBcWvlXM
Retweeted by ๐“™๐“ธ๐“ฑ๐“ท ๐“ฃ๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฑ ๐“•๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ข๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ @RealCandaceO Interesting idea! I trust this policy will also extend to the ownership or display of a confederate fโ€ฆ https://t.co/THLO1Dy76B @EddieSteak The unsung hero of this work of art is the arm extension right before the cross. Practically screams โ€œaโ€ฆ https://t.co/GxomjnZiF4Look at this guy smash his own nuts by crossing his legs. https://t.co/lgJjDo23V2
Retweeted by ๐“™๐“ธ๐“ฑ๐“ท ๐“ฃ๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฑ ๐“•๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ข๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ
6/16
2019
I think itโ€™s incredibly cool that every wine bottle is designed to drip down the side and stain your counter afterโ€ฆ https://t.co/gQwYuavA6t
6/15
2019
Must be nice getting that fancy brand name Mountain Dew #MountainLightningSquad https://t.co/XxMgbbduB6Rock of Ages https://t.co/yVhstGmomgAnother NBA finals has come and gone and still my favorite video to ever come out of one is this https://t.co/5jr8TeN65W
Retweeted by ๐“™๐“ธ๐“ฑ๐“ท ๐“ฃ๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฑ ๐“•๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ข๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎA successful playoff season for Drake and his supreme Mom Said You Have to Let Me Play Energy @TheMatthewCohen @CBSSports whoever you are, tablet warrior, we salute you @TheMatthewCohen The crop is pixel perfect I am in awe of the graphic personCanโ€™t say I expected to see the only good brand tweet ever tonight https://t.co/RQ0D5RgdgtCongrats to everyone who opened the ESPN app tonight to stream regular season professional Overwatch @DanSpenser @somethingsavage Is this guy giving you trouble dan
6/14
2019
Michael Jordan didnโ€™t pick up a basketball until he was 25. Beyoncรฉ didnโ€™t release her first album until she was 33โ€ฆ https://t.co/tiMMjFp3Xt
Retweeted by ๐“™๐“ธ๐“ฑ๐“ท ๐“ฃ๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฑ ๐“•๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ข๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ @youranalogbuddy @vanexel31 Nick I canโ€™t wait for you to try it! @maggieNYT Chris Cuomo typo'd one letter 2 tweets deep in this cascade of garbage, and that's the thing President Dโ€ฆ https://t.co/YdBuL9SzC5 @youranalogbuddy @nguersh @ewarren sorry bud but everyone's node based now elizabeth warren go on blender tutorials dot net @youranalogbuddy to this day I still always think it's talking about leapfrog, the toddler computer see you on theโ€ฆ https://t.co/r2rRmNGDjc
6/13
2019
this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen https://t.co/qu3wyI951o @rysimmons Literally asking for one single solitary funny game person who can resist being an absolute fuckhead @jamesbdwyer https://t.co/CmOgs81ltK
6/12
2019
@markvigeant 25 for the set? @youranalogbuddy @vanexel31 I am so proud of nick van exel!Vine comps walked so TikTok comps could run in a circle spraying diarrhea all over the brand new carpetExcited to announce one of my favorite Christian Rock bands from 2003 has reunited and will play shows in their native SwedenSoft
6/11
2019
major league gaming https://t.co/zDmuE2ZMXC
Retweeted by ๐“™๐“ธ๐“ฑ๐“ท ๐“ฃ๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฑ ๐“•๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ข๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ @mjwooolf i'm insanely excited to see this @MamoudouNDiaye wait my sister loves this guy @youranalogbuddy @vanexel31 nick.... welcome to the #coldlifewas just approached by a 1-year-old boy on the street. โ€œthank you for all of your wonderful tweets,โ€ he told me. this happens very often
Retweeted by ๐“™๐“ธ๐“ฑ๐“ท ๐“ฃ๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฑ ๐“•๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ข๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ @DanSpenser @youranalogbuddy @cassidyrouth Elbow macaroni Serve it at the Tonys Recipe Iโ€™m bringing Itโ€™s got broadway singing @DanSpenser @youranalogbuddy @cassidyrouth Penne and pancetta Parmesan, you betcha Bake it like the moms do Whistle like Iโ€™m Yondu @schlife We donโ€™t subtweet quite this hard โ€˜round these parts @DanSpenser @youranalogbuddy @cassidyrouth Starving for those noodles Panting like a poodle Canโ€™t focus on my job Making Google Doodles @cassidyrouth @DanSpenser LEAVE BRANDS OUT OF THIS
6/10
2019
@DomManzolillo @F1 Drag them king @DanSpenser Cook a bunch of orzo Spread it on my torso Put me in the oven Casserole dโ€™husband @DanSpenser Jumbo Tortellini Eggplant Rollatini If itโ€™s stuffed and cheesy Itโ€™s sure gonna please meWhat was the first old west film/tv show that somehow established a universal standard that every cowboys had a sixโ€ฆ https://t.co/ghy2hAWnFtPoor people are better at tracking and saving their money, that is a fact. This shit is poisonous. Hey if you canโ€™tโ€ฆ https://t.co/Idts8rrO2v
Retweeted by ๐“™๐“ธ๐“ฑ๐“ท ๐“ฃ๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฑ ๐“•๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ข๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ @jimmycthatsme $775 million of box office gross in those 8 rectangles but go off kingNever give up, no matter how many multi million dollar paychecks you have to cash while you keep trying in hopes thโ€ฆ https://t.co/abU3P07uYM @gorilla_goon @nsilverberg Come to say this, seconded @DanSpenser Ravioli filled with pumpkin @DanSpenser Stirrinโ€™ cavatelli Ziti in my belly Bake a rigatoni Everybody jelly @bradyocallahan @youranalogbuddy BRING OUT THE BIG CAT, BRADY!
6/9
2019
I canโ€™t fucking believe Jai Paul is back
6/8
2019
@devin_ Is Walters gone? @seanporeilly On the other hand I had a place where the laminate wore off the hardwood and big chunks of the floorโ€ฆ https://t.co/eheFkjq9O8 @seanporeilly My lease says I canโ€™t put anything bigger than a โ€œpin-sized holeโ€ in the wall like Iโ€™m supposed to haโ€ฆ https://t.co/MNo1rqGLEeMy landlord yelled at me for owning a drill https://t.co/67pQI0mR7zIf you ask me we need a few less โ€œMars is moonsโ€ and a few more โ€œempty tombsโ€ Happy Easter yโ€™all @rysimmons @seanporeilly Wow, a โ€œsmart telephoneโ€ that seemingly enables box employees to compose a near-infinite nโ€ฆ https://t.co/jmpsMugwHr @seanporeilly @rysimmons Ryan why didnโ€™t you edit on a bible like a good american
6/7
2019
@TheMatthewCohen hell ya fuck emif a financial contract has an option to opt out of an arbitration clause is there any reason whatsoever to not do that, i am not smart :) @sophiefairplay wait a sec holy shit have I been Fundamentally Misled about that banput this in a museum https://t.co/VoHl9dBZ7l @taylordotbiz bowl of treeJust out of curiosity, is biting onto an incredibly hard foreign object in a salad and hurting your tooth insanelyโ€ฆ https://t.co/w4eTpFVRMd
6/6
2019
See? Amazon DID come to Queens after all. https://t.co/rRzDRMWn4K
Retweeted by ๐“™๐“ธ๐“ฑ๐“ท ๐“ฃ๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฑ ๐“•๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ข๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ @annevclark anne holy shitRoundup is still available at every major hardware store in the US https://t.co/GtegazP6PN
Retweeted by ๐“™๐“ธ๐“ฑ๐“ท ๐“ฃ๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฑ ๐“•๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ข๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎevery now and then I do a tweet just for @sonicdorkTHE PIANO HAS BEEN DRINKING, MY NECKTIE IS ASLEEP https://t.co/iAXbrBTWRilol this web site sent that hotel desk guy to hell in seconds for his old bad tweets but scream glory for the bodyโ€ฆ https://t.co/2EtLuJaF8AAOC go on @thetrillbillies @DanSpenser All 4 of these are pictures of me @DanSpenser #EternalYondu
6/5
2019
Went fishing last week and Iโ€™m still fully enveloped in envy of the life of this big turtle that twice came up to tโ€ฆ https://t.co/W71ThhlMED
6/4
2019
ok this is weird! https://t.co/QgddSNBSkk
Retweeted by ๐“™๐“ธ๐“ฑ๐“ท ๐“ฃ๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฑ ๐“•๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ข๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ @Lee_Rubenstein @annevclark The one with the hangout in the place with the bullet holes in windows and cardboard fuโ€ฆ https://t.co/pksH1Yx1lY
6/3
2019
@bradyocallahan Iโ€™m not sure what you mean by โ€œcriminalโ€ - if youโ€™re referring to the enemy, theyโ€™re too busy setting trapsFound this shit on the wall of a family member who shall not be named https://t.co/7rjUZAbY1l @Joe_DiBella As always, wish u was here
6/2
2019
@HannahAWright โ™ซ I need you to kill me โ™ซA pro-life dog just wished I was aborted. What a world. https://t.co/YVp3HKxrO3
Retweeted by ๐“™๐“ธ๐“ฑ๐“ท ๐“ฃ๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฑ ๐“•๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ข๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎBabysitting my uncleโ€™s snake in his unfinished basement, wearing the fleabag jumpsuit, drinking vodka and chocolate milk, and thriving @CharlieDaniels Charlie I agree completely! These corporate billionaires are TRAITORS to America! God save our counโ€ฆ https://t.co/fBQzut2dFQ
6/1
2019
@bradyocallahan @mikescollins @thecascott @nicolemtherese If Iโ€™m gonna pay 12 dollars for a wrap I better be wearing a leiIโ€™ve never been at a pond and not seen dragonflies fucking, these are Godโ€™s Horniest Creatures @eliyudin I made drinks like this in college and it was for sure a cry for help Or a Mahalo, for short @youranalogbuddy If you ask me we need a little less โ€œSpotify premiumโ€ and a lot more โ€œGOD is my king, amenโ€
5/31
2019
@KeatonPatti @youranalogbuddy This is a good point @itoen1966_jp I humbly suggest that instead of Dan you put Zapdoโ€ฆ https://t.co/enNnBtmWlB @youranalogbuddy I think my good friends at @itoen1966_jp would agree that America Loves Spectacle, and whatโ€™s moreโ€ฆ https://t.co/lifGGKNuzs @youranalogbuddy Dan tell em youโ€™ll do a fear factor and put a bunch of worms in the tea @HardDriveMag Target Gozer 2014 @Strickbomb If you donโ€™t make this your Git โ€˜Er Done we riot @kadyrabbit What
5/30
2019
Too fast https://t.co/GwIxKycO2ZOn an Amtrak to North Carolina and at least 3 people are conducting illegal activity on the phone in this car alone
5/29
2019

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