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Writer | Co-Creator of @TerriblePlanet Comics Follow me on https://t.co/Gc0YfZGdIr

1,256 Following   27,080 Followers   111,987 Tweets

Joined Twitter 11/22/18


The Grinch wouldn’t steal Hanukkah, that would mean being around people for eight straight days and he said, no tha… https://t.co/Ha2zw97sfj
Retweeted by Crockett🍀I wish I lived in a city so I could end more conversations by letting elevator doors close in people’s stupid faces
Retweeted by Crockett🍀Follow me for more, who cares, and on https://t.co/IfG91TgLH5 https://t.co/MvLWcmJqmo @SvnSxty I for one, dislike him greatlyThis is doing far better on Instagram: https://t.co/IfG91TgLH5 so you all owe me a dollar, send it to https://t.co/rPonAS89vq
12/7
2021
The Grinch wouldn’t steal Hanukkah, that would mean being around people for eight straight days and he said, no tha… https://t.co/Ha2zw97sfj @mxmclain 😂😂 @damnfinetweet @mxmclain Thank you! @perlhack 😂🙏🏻 @CatJacquesESPN BoomI wish I lived in a city so I could end more conversations by letting elevator doors close in people’s stupid facesRiding with old people is scary you have to be ready to grab the wheel at any time. If my grandfather gets tired he… https://t.co/6sQ3ty1agK
Retweeted by Crockett🍀Follow me who cares, here and on https://t.co/IfG91TgLH5 https://t.co/uHbpX2lEDV
12/6
2021
@pantless_papple That’s badass. He’s badass @rn_murse Deep friedRiding with old people is scary you have to be ready to grab the wheel at any time. If my grandfather gets tired he… https://t.co/6sQ3ty1agKI asked my daughter if she thought she had been in the bath long enough and she said “the water will tell me when i… https://t.co/QsfMkzQzjA
Retweeted by Crockett🍀
12/5
2021
@maryellen622 @TerriblePlanet @VikingJonesy Thank youFollow @TerriblePlanet, the comic I make with @VikingJonesy. This is what we did this week. Also check out the shop… https://t.co/2JUuolhv8L @adamgreattweet They love you. We love you. We are target @BigJDubz This is beautiful @VikingJonesy I wanna see it’s teeth @VikingJonesy Just let me touch it @mister_loudface You fucked up nothing, but yes very sad @mister_loudface That’s sad and very confusing @TommyShrimps Makes sense 😂Behind every successful man is his asshole. Women too. Children. Hell, even dogs. We all have assholes“The Light” https://t.co/rwTf4QyXkM
Retweeted by Crockett🍀“The Surprise” https://t.co/aQWoZQNGWz
Retweeted by Crockett🍀If I was really tiny I’d ride a chicken like a horse no questions asked
Retweeted by Crockett🍀Q-tips specifically say NOT to put them in your ears yet that’s the only reason we buy them. We are not a species built for survival
Retweeted by Crockett🍀Smokey Bear put a lot of pressure on me as a child, “only YOU can prevent forest fires,” like, shit dude, I’m going… https://t.co/ROaGUM89Mc
Retweeted by Crockett🍀Who is drugging Halloween Candy? No one will give you free drugs, calm down
Retweeted by Crockett🍀The Peloton guy will say encouraging things to you even if you’re not doing the workout. You could be sitting there… https://t.co/E9g5Le1AiH
Retweeted by Crockett🍀
12/4
2021
@StoneAgeRadio13 In* I’m also quite proficient at typos @FredFirst1 🙏🏻🔥 @StoneAgeRadio13 I’m this joke I can still grow hair @theotherjulz That’s fair 😂If Ol’ Dirty Bastard was a dinosaur he’d be all, “oh baby I like it rawr” @peteofaustralia I don’t I was like 4 😂
12/3
2021
@peteofaustralia Holy shit, that’s amazingFollow me for more here and on https://t.co/IfG91TgLH5 https://t.co/SIIIWGU0Vy @toogoodbadman @sarcophagasm Same @VikingJonesy https://t.co/P4NJ690cUn @Lawlesslass 😮 @Kryzazy 😮If I was really tiny I’d ride a chicken like a horse no questions askedYou know those farts that don’t make a sound? I wonder if dogs hear thoseImagine if people spoke in typos and your boss was all “I need to see you in my orifice,” that would be wild
Retweeted by Crockett🍀
12/2
2021
@wyrm__wraith 😂😂Follow me for more, here and on https://t.co/IfG91TgLH5 https://t.co/AjS4lxJYT7 @TheHyyyype @adamgreattweet Credit card fraud even @rn_murse Same though @KensAudioBoston I like that too that’s awesome @TheDanaWeiss @dadmann_walking If I was just walking around quacking though… @raganwald @dadmann_walking This is amazing 😮 it makes me really @adamgreattweet ❤️🙏🏻Imagine if people spoke in typos and your boss was all “I need to see you in my orifice,” that would be wild
12/1
2021
@adamgreattweet Thanks ObamaJust overheard, “I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may inseminate me,” and all I could think was, that guy… https://t.co/TCPpFnb9N1
Retweeted by Crockett🍀 @ivysdad @SweatyGardener Or maybe a rip-off of the “go to sleep” I haven’t thought that far ahead 😂Imagine if elf on the shelf was real, no one would ever find him because he would leave, not wanting to be around a… https://t.co/t7RWTGPpRl @erichwithach Hashtag worth it @TheRealPalMal It makes me feel better lol @CHIMPSINSOCKS @TheDaredevil Oh nooooooo @StoneAgeRadio13 Break out the red paint @Home_Halfway This makes total sense thoughFollow me for more here and over on https://t.co/IfG91TgLH5 https://t.co/uHbpX2lEDV @ADHDeanASL Well actually… yes it was @PickleRudd 😂 @ADHDeanASL No that’s a true crime documentary I watched the other day “the true story of the boner killer” it was wild @MedusaOusa Hahaha @ADHDeanASL That whole tweet is the title, it isn’t a very efficient title if you ask meJust overheard, “I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may inseminate me,” and all I could think was, that guy… https://t.co/TCPpFnb9N1 @aotakeo Helps get the lent out @midwest_bob @pantless_papple Dammit Bob @pantless_papple Virginia but my wrestling character is from the middle states or wherever Oklahoma is @mahnamematt No? You can have itIf I was a wrestler I’d be, “Corn Fed” with my finisher, “the Oklacoma”
11/30
2021
Find me on: https://t.co/IfG91TgLH5I asked my daughter if she thought she had been in the bath long enough and she said “the water will tell me when i… https://t.co/QsfMkzQzjA @katz_bernie These are all things I wish I knew moments ago 😂 @Home_Halfway What?? I have turned down so many drinks then.My body is a wonderland? No, my body is a national forest with hair for trees and fat for hills and if you spit in… https://t.co/xEbvGKbSox
Retweeted by Crockett🍀 @PickleRudd Jeff. 😂😂😂Follow me here and on: https://t.co/IfG91TgLH5 https://t.co/UCL3GM1C8C @dave_cactus 😂😂 I’m sorry, ilu @ADHDeanASL @RodLacroix @Froschauer_AF @fro_vo @Kateness8 @ShortSleeveSuit @GroovyTasia @stinkythinktankhttps://t.co/H60lcjZ1Ve @SvnSxty @Tobi_Is_Fab @WhatsAGreenhorn @rubbishcookies @perlhack @katbuble @CafeinatedBacon @mistrustme1 @CCRunshttps://t.co/g2oSQozwmwMy body is a wonderland? No, my body is a national forest with hair for trees and fat for hills and if you spit in… https://t.co/xEbvGKbSox
11/29
2021
I wish you could tap on someone’s forehead and their attributes displayed like: speed, agility, intelligence, these… https://t.co/mNoYHhc1Ew
Retweeted by Crockett🍀Thanksgiving went ok I guess, decided to cut the cranberry sauce long ways just to see what would happen, let me te… https://t.co/WIbq40wkI7
Retweeted by Crockett🍀If I ever wake up feeling refreshed I’ll know for sure that I died in my sleep
Retweeted by Crockett🍀 @Home_Halfway @ItsAndyRyan 😂 @Home_Halfway 🥺 for A answer 😮😬 for B answer lol @Home_Halfway Either or. People have been commenting that apparently I just didn’t pay attention closely enough to the song 😂 @adamgreattweet 😂🙏🏻 @erichwithach @Tobi_Is_Fab WoohoooooSaw an ad for a new curling iron and for a second I thought vibrators were really getting out of control @CafeinatedBacon An NFT for sure
11/28
2021

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