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I'm always jittery! It's my personality to be jittery! It's part of my charm!

3,268 Following   37,890 Followers   51,261 Tweets

Joined Twitter 5/24/08

i treat bedsheets like i treat cast iron pans: i wash my roommate's with soap and water @cd_hooks Thanks Beto! @johnnyrotten23 @compasolo 23% of post-tax income (about $38k) @BloominFreedom @surlybassey $50k salary in PA backs out to $38,700 after taxes. (210*12)+6500 is 23% of $38,700This is how you end up with shitty laws my debating boots on! #GOPDebate
Retweeted by 💀 tbone 💀 @SamGreszes Subsidies cut off at 400% FPLDon't forget to vote!All of this—the emaciated public option, the federal subsidies—is for a scheme that pumps public money into private… Biden's healthcare plan, a 27-year-old making 50k per year would need to spend 23% of their post-tax income o… through season 5 of a show about how the grinch became the grinch) this is ridiculous, I'm out
Retweeted by 💀 tbone 💀The Rock was executed by Donald Trump for his role in international child trafficking, after which we was cloned, a… @osutein Houston, babyskatebart #comics
Retweeted by 💀 tbone 💀Allen Lazard is the only player with a perfect 158.3 passer rating on his targets this season (min. 10+ targets)
Retweeted by 💀 tbone 💀 @Jsfranz @ChampagneSharks I picked it up, thanks!
@_grendan my favorite soy sauce trick is to combine dark soy sauce with light soy sauce (and sesame oil and sugar)wow. This foreclosure notice was written using gender neutral language. Bank of America thank you
Retweeted by 💀 tbone 💀Say what you will about Trump, but he comes from a tax bracket not often represented in high office—and that kind o… sucks you’re wondering about the current state of qualified immunity law, prison guards are now taking interlocutory a…
Retweeted by 💀 tbone 💀I agree that they should piss test Biden before the debate. They should piss test Trump, too. Then they can auction off the piss @ChampagneSharks Thomas Frank did a great job of this in the early 90s in the Baffler. Maybe this is what you're lo… Democrats Threaten To All Wear Same Color If Trump Loses Election And Refuses To Leave Office…
Retweeted by 💀 tbone 💀This wins over no voters. They're just doing it because they believe in it! They rub our faces in the mud, then tel… @JHohos it's meaningless but funMy man Rock did a better job of laying out an affirmative case for Biden’s candidacy than every pundit who’s spent the…
Retweeted by 💀 tbone 💀3-0 baby Packers gonna do it Aaron the best in the gameLearning about Little St James made “Salo” feel much less shocking than expected
At the drive-in is the church that has saved countless lives this week for us in Louisville. Please, please donate to this chu…
Retweeted by 💀 tbone 💀the Packers play at the same time as Salo tomorrow, which means I have a great excuse to be a wimp and look at my ipod during the movie @IHateNYT True or false? You’re full of excuses @videocrime That's the alarm. We gotta get this resolved tonight.My husband is Dick Dale, king of the surf guitarNYPD just did one of their organized escalations of violence against protesters but apparently neglected to actuall…
Retweeted by 💀 tbone 💀i've got some sour news about Trump's opponent's position on health care coverage in the midst of a pandemic
Amy Coney Barrett... I can’t believe we’re letting someone on the Supreme Court with insane religious beliefs, like transubstantiationlmao it’s over
Retweeted by 💀 tbone 💀This is cool the past six years, whenever i've felt overwhelmed i've listened to these six-minute-long recordings of cello t… @NickMillerMusic what a coincidence... J stands for "jriend" @NickMillerMusic i've got a letter for you: Jglenn gould uttering "duh, duh, duh duh duh" while he eats pussy @bridgietherease @RadishHarmers i've returned to these posts a few times todayPpl in Wisconsin called the state unemployment office *41 million* times between March and June. An audit has now f…
Retweeted by 💀 tbone 💀
@Vanessa_ABee these people have a disease @JoeBiden bitch @Venti__Poet I've got some sour news for you about Obama staffers @feraljokes i suck at it but i can see myself getting better. after 30 runs i finally made it to the second boss an… biden reveals controversial new campaign logo: calvin peeing on a single father with bone cancera small group of foxes have commandeered a used lawnmower and are driving it directly toward Redwallthere's a double feature of Salo and Climax this weekend. it's at a drive in so I can honk whenever I get excited @DisabledJustUs @roberta_sparrow no this actually sucks lol @Boringstein "Hi Nabisco! This is Tim with Joe Biden's campaign. Look, just say 'yes' or 'no' so we can get out of… about textbanking 1 shift for biden purely out of spite, so i can hold it over everyone's head when they b… cloud is down, which means some dork who bought an Internet of Things fridge can't put the milk away because the door won't open @Vomax2k You know it @bornlost666 MDK2 @uhshanti "Yes, But" In My Backyard
lol don't understand why people like Cameo for reasons other than irony. I can't imagine receiving a Cameo and feeling anything but humiliated(this is similar to how Roe v. Wade is a protection of the "right" to purchase an abortion--not a right to choice itself!)We live in the "Bailamos" era of American history—nothing is forbidden anymore we're having a national discussion about whether or not private companies should be allowed to gouge sick peop… would note that all discussions of 'preexisting conditions protections' only protect one's "right" to purchase in… feel helpless most of the time these days. So I take solace and comfort in the Reclaim Idaho movement, which prov… we were younger, we were into birdwatching. One day while up the mountain we spotted a raven, we hadn't seen o…
Retweeted by 💀 tbone 💀i'll post this again tomorrow but if you want to feel a little bit hopeful in bad times you can read about how Recl… @uhshanti @TenantsTogether congratulations, killer! @negaversace i've always been curious as to why people gather in a place that was specifically designed to make it… @tdawg6685 It rules tho @tdawg6685 I'm so fucking bad at it dude. 16 hours and I can only sometimes get past Meg
Heads up, there's two "bail funds" in Louisville; the Bail Project is the one of the two that is actually effective…
Retweeted by 💀 tbone 💀what if we just reopened the bathrooms in mta stations
Beto not running in Texas is a big and shameful whoopsieIf only there were someone in the unique position to be able to drive turnout among Texas Dem voters...
I would love to be friends with an octopusBiden showed more balls in dealing with Corn Pop than he does when dealing with the GOPOh thank goodness Biden is on the case @CorvidSandy @kropothead @SquilliumDuclos Can you guys take this outside don't know who needs to hear this, but here's the Red Army Choir singing 'Sex Bomb.'
Retweeted by 💀 tbone 💀matt yglesias's kid is going to be so embarrassed Case For Pretty Hate Machine Being About Golf
Retweeted by 💀 tbone 💀one BILLION americans @Arrianna_Planey Holy cowJust got notification that Blue Cross is raising my rates 25% in November.....I am currently paying $1391 a month—j…
Retweeted by 💀 tbone 💀I'm torn, because the Patriots can suck my shit out of a tube, but I love Cam Newton and want him to succeedI mean
Retweeted by 💀 tbone 💀 @boshj @zlingray listen to the man, he's right @videodante i'm so bad at it. i can only get past meg 1/3 of the time
@irockgnomes @RoseLuxemburg1 mix the hot sauce in with the hummus, then scoop it up with your hummus vessel. @irockgnomes Basically any carb or fat @danepst1 @pinko_machinist China Mieville's fantasy/sci fi is exceptional
I go back to this from time to time but this is the best thing ever written about Mitch McConnell and by extension…
Retweeted by 💀 tbone 💀is "waiting to see which judges die during the opposite party's tenure" a more legitimate form of governance than "…