Sign in with Twitter

Username:

Bill @dadonymous My house. Outside D.C.

Wouldn't you like to know?

158 Following   328 Followers   28,964 Tweets

Joined Twitter 5/14/10


@LUV2SKIPOW @kevin_mui @googlenesthelp @gznfrnqvi To be fair, that's the answer a lot of the time, just not when a… https://t.co/npYKBmepXV @googlenesthelp Also, it was working until about 45 minutes ago so it's not like I'm setting up a new system. @googlenesthelp Are you having issues with logging in to https://t.co/mVbj2FKqfc on a computer (Safari and Firefox,… https://t.co/xOTuT8cjvW
12/6
2019
@stargatecommand Yeah, right after I tweeted I figured out I made the rookie mistake of not updating. After updatin… https://t.co/5nmoNlgQRZ @stargatecommand Is there something going on with videos through the app on iDevices? I can no longer play videos o… https://t.co/hsJt8gFopZ
8/1
2018
@CharlTaylorPage Your stories are one of the few things that’s still keeping me checking twitter, so my thanks to you for keeping it fun! :)
2/1
2018
@CharlTaylorPage Happy birthday! I hope you have a great birthday, and a great birthday week too.
1/30
2018
Tonight at work a creepy dude asked me "what's your secret to staying so slim and perky?" I responded "I'm a thousa… https://t.co/4S0fJ3U2z0
Retweeted by Bill @DCZia Wow, how is that not big news? I hadn’t heard of it either, what a disaster!Just my luck, 250 million year old salt and it expires next year. https://t.co/XjK9L51x8D
Retweeted by Billreally, we're still doing this? if Trump manages to get through the speech without flinging his own feces, he'll be… https://t.co/Ma8V2GMab6
Retweeted by Bill
1/29
2018
I wish I liked more of Lorde’s music. She’s a fascinating entertainer.By adding up all of the episodes across three series in the Stargate franchise, and then adding up all of the episo… https://t.co/t1Y56TWGJW
Retweeted by BillAssembling the coffin should be interesting. https://t.co/pUzNAG4yU7nothing quite says "I'm in tech" like stealing a box of pads and calling them tampons https://t.co/4fA2Y9HNyy
Retweeted by BillFYI "chain migration" is not a real term. The actual term, written in the Immigration and Nationality Act, is "fami… https://t.co/oXrK2fi7DK
Retweeted by Bill
1/28
2018
Why is twitter now putting other people’s likes in my notifications tab? It’s like they’re actively trying to drive me away at this point.Guess we forgot to do that the first go around. Hmph. https://t.co/kDXLBefuSG
Retweeted by BillI love in films like 300 where the main guy will say something like “get some sleep, for tomorrow we battle to deat… https://t.co/4wmaP5cvjX
Retweeted by BillPSA: Men who ask "Can I even talk to women now" are in fact, not allowed to talk to women.
Retweeted by BillWell duh, he’s only like halfway through his sentence as a cat... https://t.co/xcK3P8vgZb
1/27
2018
Why would you keep anyone, but especially your faith advisor, on after that? https://t.co/1IkGBhG1WgI’m such a bummer. https://t.co/ckBMiFrP9rWe need to be careful playing this game...there are Dems who voted not guilty back then that would vote guilty this… https://t.co/IRhuH1xQWrHoly cow, I got so excited about Oprah's third hand that I missed how Reese has 3 legs. How did you all let me do t… https://t.co/l1dtlcbRnWMy newest fear is going into a Burger King for a secret shame Whopper and ending up in a filmed social experiment.
Retweeted by BillA quotation popped into my head this evening. It's from Nixon's farewell speech to his White House staff: "Always… https://t.co/SE4mHNxRWb
Retweeted by Bill
1/26
2018
what can I say, made me laugh https://t.co/mnBTE81OCB
Retweeted by BillThings like that 3 handed Oprah picture are pretty much all that keeps me checking twitter these days.New for 2018! A revolutionary new fidget stick. Not only can your child spin it but they can also write, draw, and… https://t.co/YnpTeLZUvu
Retweeted by BillPass. https://t.co/f6txXuKaohBrilliant. https://t.co/G6xpzzoOVn
Retweeted by BillHoly crap, those guys seemed like geezers when that came out. I’m now Bob Dylan in TTW old...yikes! https://t.co/SAh6rTXAWmSaw a water leak at a neighbor's meter, so I went to the county website to get a phone #. Next to it they said "or… https://t.co/hsIIFmBIOGyeah sex is cool but have you ever read a book and it spent days reading it and when u finish it you get this weird… https://t.co/gPViBuvXA6
Retweeted by BillYes. https://t.co/WTWGYFhUq2
Retweeted by BillI just found the greatest video ever https://t.co/khmHaUTeVC
Retweeted by Bill
1/25
2018
Well if he said it, it must be true! https://t.co/7ps6mCqDzD @summerskate They thought it was a pin? LOLThis is pretty much the textbook definition of "A Deal With the Devil." These alleged Christians should absolutely… https://t.co/YroPDUfwFG
Retweeted by BillLots of countries have found the solution. You’d think America would be smart enough to catch on, but nope. https://t.co/q0LuwKfMqAFor God’s sake, stop allowing nearly unrestricted access to guns to a populace that can’t stop eating tide pods.
Retweeted by Billmy everlasting respect to whomever chose this photo https://t.co/egZIrP2OiC
Retweeted by Bill
1/24
2018
I’m a bit curious about deranged masturbation. Have I done that? How can I tell?I like how both masturbation (for 30 years) and suppressed masturbation are on the list. https://t.co/9XtFGKGQGF @thatkristen It’s probably the tissue tongs.https://t.co/qoPYdZIWqY
Retweeted by BillIf the hunter had a gun of his own, he could have protected himself.
Retweeted by BillNow is not the time to debate animal control. https://t.co/VpjsK3Eq57
Retweeted by BillI’m in Seattle and there is currently a line to shop at the grocery store whose entire premise is that you won’t ha… https://t.co/YQibkjhVRO
Retweeted by BillThis has happened to all men in their 40s, in one way or another. As it should. We have to learn one day. https://t.co/9fskHknuL7
Retweeted by BillThis is the best thing I read today. If you only read one thing 👇 https://t.co/s3berySkpE
Retweeted by BillIt’s been a while since I’ve read it so I can’t remember, is a mature 13 an okay age to read the Autobiography of Malcolm X?
1/23
2018
Because they keep getting accused of sexual assault? https://t.co/3RGMJFDhMR
Retweeted by Bill“Mommy, can we buy a water gun?” #ParentingisFun https://t.co/fi6gW36f4M
Retweeted by BillOf course it makes sense to charge people who don’t/can’t keep a $1,500 balance a $12 monthly fee. https://t.co/acfUvdVIrzMy 11yo just walked into his room and said, “party hard on the toilet!” I’m scared to know why.
1/22
2018
If you want my body and you think I'm sexy stay 10 feet away from me.
Retweeted by Bill @APBBlue If he ducks out on this chore he’s in trouble. @APBBlue If he cleans it up, no harm no fowl. Um, foul.On Women's Marchers, stupid signs, et. al. https://t.co/Zld3gCJWM6
Retweeted by BillThis is the best. https://t.co/WVt0CTKT0D @mommyshorts I hate that some of the harshest comments are from women! @mintzina Me, every time I make plans. @CharlTaylorPage Apologies if you already know/do this, but you may want to make your house or starting point a “pr… https://t.co/4y9aILimE3 @Lemmonex Oh man, that sucks. Welcome back, I guess?Jackass (the movie) is on. Boy, a lot of it has aged very poorly but golf course air horn still makes me laugh.
1/21
2018
@RepDonBeyer Does this violate the Hatch Act or anything? https://t.co/EMi2oFUSTV<German accent>Papers, please!</...> https://t.co/I6oBqW5A3dMike Pence Disappointed In The 200,000 Husbands And Fathers Who Permitted Women To Attend March… https://t.co/Lvu2gupWcN
Retweeted by BillUpdate: The Smithsonian, including its museums, research centers & the National Zoo, will be OPEN Monday, Jan. 22.… https://t.co/yfv8nq5FX8
Retweeted by BillYes I did. And I will try again today. https://t.co/lCTGHbHznD
Retweeted by BillI think the konmari method is going to work for clothes for me because I’d rather throw half of my shirts out than… https://t.co/PxukvMT3EFThe bidding for Amazon’s new HQ is getting even crazier. https://t.co/L13R33E6Gk
Retweeted by BillThis joke will only be funny until he gets re-elected in 2020. https://t.co/BKVJk6PGAsHow can McConnell blame Dems when he voted no as well?If you ever want some alone time in America, just take the stairs.
Retweeted by BillHow many people get pissed on at those yoga with goats events? I still wanna go regardless of the number
Retweeted by Bill @BeyondWordsLife I was so disappointed with that movie. The Batman character really needed an origin movie since it… https://t.co/PvXSDg2O71 @FracturCritical I hadn’t heard of that story and WHAT THE ALMIGHTY FUCK?!?!?
1/20
2018
If I was planning a wedding this summer, you wouldn't even make the back up list 🔥 #dissesformyagegroup
Retweeted by BillAm I missing something? Why don’t the Dems take the 6 year extension on chip right now, then in a month when this C… https://t.co/39GOSIYTgWItaly is farther east, west, north, and south than Vatican https://t.co/eUEHjGUQUL
Retweeted by BillMaybe compared to the clusterfuck they’ve been subjected to in the last year, a shutdown is a welcome change. Some… https://t.co/XAXFuA5scqIt’s interesting how much less concerned my neighborhood feels about this shutdown versus the last one. I don’t kno… https://t.co/A6VvK3t8VJThe President said he was going to run America like his businesses. Apparently we have reached the part where he wo… https://t.co/OVcVBy9UMh
Retweeted by BillThat haircut on any man is probable cause. https://t.co/CxE6JVV2c4
Retweeted by BillI don’t think it’s healthy for me to think about going back to London as much as I do, but this sure is a nice pict… https://t.co/P7tNA8Uywj @mintzina Good lord, we men are sure weird.Here's to waking up to a penis glamour shot was sent to me by mistake. https://t.co/GCuVDZ1xna
Retweeted by BillWho the hell are y'all trying to fool with this "sexbots will replace human women" shit anyway. I've been inside yo… https://t.co/7gM2dRqBNz
Retweeted by Bill
1/19
2018
I miss when our president was a constitutional law professor and not a guy who had to take a test to make sure he k… https://t.co/oJ4CiDyCua
Retweeted by BillHeadline writer on article about Trump's medical wins best use of grammar award. https://t.co/5kyDGDwr52
Retweeted by Bill @FracturCritical Impressive! Although I first saw the incorrect “its” and almost overlooked the major problem. LOL
1/18
2018
@mintzina The cleavage isn’t a problem, but no sleeves is making me cold just looking at you! I’m sitting at home w… https://t.co/5fUfujfLMkoh no https://t.co/DFPJrqyD0r
Retweeted by BillRepublicans threaten to shut down the government because Republicans refuse to meet their demands. https://t.co/OtDs5Bamu8
Retweeted by Billtrump's weight should be the last of anyone's concerns. the man could literally be made out of fire and poison - I… https://t.co/sUcCrvAqZU
Retweeted by Bill
1/17
2018

0