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Writer of TV, books, comics, and podcasts. @Noblebloodtales and Popcorn Book Club from @iheartradio

1,348 Following   179,552 Followers   11,000 Tweets

Joined Twitter 7/7/11

Channeling my rage into donations
My entire family just let loose a WAIL @marissagrossman @jenisicecreams OH MY GOD their brambleberry crisp is an all-timer, and gooey butter cake, and mint-chip...... @jenisicecreams Jeni's........ thank you.Is it weird if I start to think of @jenisicecreams as a personal friend 1* review of Pride & Prejudice on Amazon 🧐
Retweeted by Dana Schwartz @SofTellez muchas gracias! Ojalá enseñaran más palabrotas en mis clases de españolThe recipe is of course the queen @inagartenHappy new year I made apple tart episode of NOBLE BLOOD!!!! A princess who went full Cersei Lannister and then became a saint:
Retweeted by Dana SchwartzI can't believe I'm invested in this
Retweeted by Dana Schwartz @benshapiro me rn Wayne in a tuxedo at a fancy party: @KyleLawhorn6 I haven't, but I'll check it out!posting our best tiktok here to save it from the Tiktokalypse
Retweeted by Dana SchwartzOk but that’s just noble blood I just listened to this episode and .... @DanaSchwartzzz I would listen to AN ENTIRE PODCAST about Olga of Ki…
Retweeted by Dana Schwartza peek behind the curtain of Noble Blood: @AlyssaMastro44 :))))))
@koramadrama there is none. you just must FEEL it. @AndyRichter @JenAshleyWright same!!! oh no!there will definitely be images 😎😎😎😎Hypothetically, if I were writing a noble blood book would you want — essays about our obsession with royalty? New…’t it insane that the Swedish songwriter just wasn’t great at English yet and so when he wrote “hit me baby one… don’t have that artistic ability!!!!! @IanKarmel You’re so smart 💖💖💖 @joshruben So good @simoncurtis I already did 😎Why do my job as a writer and be made slightly uncomfortable by the challenge of the blank page in front of me when… IS SO COOL!!!! @MadisonAveJones WHAT IF @JasonAdamK AHHHH @Remember_Sarah there is something a little weird in the way he is like, not attracted to belle, but still like "sh…'m seeing "The Vow" all over my TL and just now realizing you're not taking about the channing tatum rachel mcadams film?adding to the mood board: john mulaney pretending to be on The Floor is Lava board of just these two pictures
My clothes being all the way dry is not an extreme position, dryer!!!!!!!!!Like, this dryer acts like it’s doing me some huge favor to do its ONE job correctly. @alplicable Not a thing!!!!!Whenever I see a Ben Shapiro tweet upset by my parents’ dryer which has way too many options for levels of dryness. Feel like it should be a bi… @EthenBolton @josephlongo_ @davidmackau This movie deserved to be nominated for so many golden globes!!!!!!! @atriaventrica @DOB_INC Day o bae? Not a chanceWait I have more @AlexRichanbach thank godI realized I had two Diablos and wanted to give a little variety!!! @ShannonTindle_1 IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL @DeliciouslyGill OMG MONA LISA SMILEfour movies you're pretty sure you like more than anyone else Holocaust was so recent that my grandmother survived it and is still young enough that she routinely buys jacke…
Retweeted by Dana Schwartz @CharlesPulliam I laughed @IanKarmel they had it coming!!!!!! @IanKarmel ok this is one of the ones I don't understand @Remember_Sarah HOW HAS THIS INFORMATION BEEN KEPT FROM ME! @nicolanotnikki thank you so much!!!! @AddieCSmith THANK YOU!!!!
@GusRachels her husband got murdered and they just stood therelike, do they think there are men who are like: "well I know murder is illegal, but now that I can technically ~get… are weirdly scared of men "pretending to be women" to hurt women. read a newspaper, my friend, men don't nee… are terfs so afraid of men dressing up in women's clothes to hurt people? wearing men's clothes literally does not stop them. @CaseySplinter don't worry, we're fixing it in the audio, so it'll be right for everyone who listens to it tomorrow! :)if anyone loves the history of nobility and how morbidly fucked up they are, this is one of my favorite podcasts
Retweeted by Dana SchwartzTHIS IS WONDERFUL NEWS. @thomaschattwill how are you being strong-armed into applying to graduate school at the university of chicago @zebwells this is a bargain! @jbmaggiore :))))We fixed it in the audio feed, so by tomorrow no one will have incorrect acronyms.thank you, thank you. @IanKarmel I'll be resigning from podcasts to spend more time with my loved onesweird, did something happen? @jocelynmk1 yes!!!! two different versions! @anylaurie16 @hanniganski It was a big in-joke at EW that at the time they went so hard covering studio 60 instead of 30 rock @TrumpCancel george's!have any of you read "how to be both" and do you want to talk about it for 45 hours @bdgrabinski It's perfect @IanKarmel put a ring on it first, buddy @jbouie Out of context it is the funniest comedy ever madeI have watched this 5 times this morning and full guffawed every time. I love it so much. @ed_solomon HAPPY BIRTHDAY!Grand Princess Olga of Kiev Takes Her Revenge In 945, Olga's husband, Igor I, was murdered…
Retweeted by Dana SchwartzOne small correction: at one point I say "BCE" when this is very much "CE" because I was dumb and got confused abou… episode of NOBLE BLOOD!!!! A princess who went full Cersei Lannister and then became a saint: @GrantOB peppermint, baby!!!! you? also I wish the sun was the normal color. @GrantOB love a good mint! @ChrisEvans oh no I love himNow that I have your attention 🤦🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️.... VOTE Nov 3rd!!!
Retweeted by Dana Schwartz
@roaringsoftly SAME!!!!You know that moment when you catch yourself wishing your kitchen was more like the one from the 2015 Nancy Myers f…
Retweeted by Dana Schwartz @James_Phelps It's a great look! let's match. @reimanncometh the wasted time of all of those seconds!Are you gonna vœrt
Retweeted by Dana Schwartz @IanKarmel can't get too greedy with the sexts @jillesqueda yeah @jbouie It's SO. GOOD. and the fireplace?!?!?!Everyone talks about the kitchen from It's Complicated but you all are sleeping on the brownstone from The Intern is not a bit I love his curtain bangs @JasonAdamK @lyta_gold Pillars of the terfgonna show my hairstylist a picture of fred and george from Goblet of Fire for the curtain bangs I want means it's time for a BRAND NEW 🍿 POPCORN BOOK CLUB!!!!! Today we're heading back to #LovecraftCountry to ta… @allihStL @chrissymeds 100%. or charlotte.