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✨ tv writer | WA @thesimpsons | tru valley girl a joy to have in class | why are you here in my journal !!!

777 Following   5,321 Followers   18,320 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/28/10


could a depressed person do this? *moves from in bed to on bed*
Retweeted by danielle weisbergme, gently reassuring myself that I don’t have a uti even tho I’m peeing every 20 minutes: that’s the tea, sisI absolutely love when men have jokes in their dating profiles like, “won’t murder you” or “not a serial killer.” I… https://t.co/qGiV7uSmXJ
Retweeted by danielle weisbergi'm honestly sick of dating. guys always trying to grab my amulet and destroy it. that's not even how to kill me
Retweeted by danielle weisberg*at a metal concert* lead singer: ANY REQUESTS?? me: CAN YOU PLEASE ENUNCIATE
Retweeted by danielle weisberg @caithuls I’m with youVeronica Mars? GG revival? Frozen 2??? yes I am here for the Year of Kristen Bell Voiceovers
7/21
2019
um .. the guy i had a crush on in seventh grade is getting married? when i was just about to consider making a move ?? RudeI get a lot of imposter syndrome around whether or not I know what I’m doing with writing and structure etc bc i st… https://t.co/0RWp4K3Roi @jlazebnik your legacyhello tonight I realized the tree I stare at out my window all day every day at work is shaped like jar jar binks’… https://t.co/yGSPomOUQi
Retweeted by danielle weisberghorny for abolishing the electoral college
Retweeted by danielle weisberg @cristela9 I have such fond memories of cleaning the baseboards !!!! @thatdangdingus would be honored to have my big coming out deb party simply ruined @thatdangdingus !!!!!!!if your fav SJP is Sex and the City that means you haven’t seen Girls Just Want to Have Fundoctor: are you sexually active? me: what? doctor: do you [moves closer] ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuck?… https://t.co/TCtDEaAtAl
Retweeted by danielle weisberg @kimskitchensink mine has been CATS @ellorysmith lol ok who are you, me ??if u ever seriously did ballet u hold ur breath whenever watching the pas de quatre in swan lake sorry thems the rulesfinally having enough money to buy pointe shoes whenever I want now that I am not on pointe anymore or even dancing… https://t.co/lrH1r6xm1kjust had an intense flashback to my PNB audition in 2002 where the teacher walked by me, looked me up and down, sai… https://t.co/puCICN6UQ8last night I discovered Center Stage is on hulu and so tonight I am watching Center Stage on hulu and right out the… https://t.co/1jU0I3MNnOdelete every version of "Oops I Did It Again" that doesn't include the dialogue, it's not canon, it's irrelevant, it's trash
Retweeted by danielle weisberg @thenickperdue @RAICESTEXAS @FlorenceProject @ACLU @NIJC @TXCivilRights @CHIRLA @FianzaFund 👍👍👍
7/20
2019
@thenickperdue @RAICESTEXAS @FlorenceProject @ACLU @NIJC @TXCivilRights @CHIRLA @FianzaFund I wasnt collecting we all indepently donatedGRID UPDATE NO. 47, FINAL UPDATE OF THIS "SEASON" - Added recs for @Globopocolypse, @Barelyoutofblue,… https://t.co/KqQA70zMbs
Retweeted by danielle weisbergInstead of throwing that ass in reverse how about you throw that ass in therapy
Retweeted by danielle weisbergwait why SEND https://t.co/1h6QHIHcbd
Retweeted by danielle weisberg @audreyknox @iamkerryoneill Oh wait The Giver for me too @LouisPeitzman 😍😍 i am the exact oppositeWine, redwoods, and Catherine O’Hara. https://t.co/4jJQ9RXKbm
Retweeted by danielle weisbergme when an email finds me well https://t.co/2ji5UIsvtZ
Retweeted by danielle weisberg @iamkerryoneill I think Frankenstein sophomore year? a few short stories before that for sure but frank was the first major read @petkanascan @gabydunn yes and they should be free (everywhere but especially) in public bathrooms!it’s adam and eve, not adam and teen! lol! please stop fucking teens!
Retweeted by danielle weisberg @Lazarou63 thank you! I genuinely forget I have it like 90% of the time but I’ll do a new episode soon!evergreen https://t.co/YDnBG8V1IXWhat truly makes our country great is its diversity. I’ve seen that beauty in so many ways over the years. Whether… https://t.co/2eP8AkQDLg
Retweeted by danielle weisberg.. we watched againif you are excited for the bonkerballs spectacle that is CATS I suggest pregaming with the episode of my podcast (t… https://t.co/wPIrv61bULbig noses >>>>>>>
Retweeted by danielle weisbergTOUUUUUUCH MEEEEEE IT'S SO EEEEEASY TO LEEEEEAVE MEEE ALL ALONE WITH THE MEEEEMMMMORY OF MY DAYS IN THE SUN https://t.co/OIYpoo8vL2
Retweeted by danielle weisbergyes ,, of course I am “dtf” ... Digital, Technological Fur. hi, welcome to The Jellicle Ball :) @zachheltzel thank u Zach it happened again mere moments ago !!!!!If you're unfamiliar, here's a synopsis of CATS -We're cats -Cats cats cats, that's us -This one's lazy -This one… https://t.co/VlnPhPGGvx
Retweeted by danielle weisbergsure sex is cool but have u ever just rubbed your eyes for like a really long time
Retweeted by danielle weisbergwhat keeps me young ?? drinkin lots of water, wearin sunscreen, and bein emotionally stunted from teen trauma baby !!!!!
Retweeted by danielle weisberg @kimskitchensink Yasometimes when I walk in my front door my printer lights up bc my phone is connecting to its WiFi and that is basic… https://t.co/xyGBCxZNb8
Retweeted by danielle weisberga lot of people don’t know this but the 11th commandment is ‘just have fun’ :)
7/19
2019
@girlwithatail Omgwent ahead and watched it again(_\ヽ   \\ .Λ_Λ.    \( ˇωˇ)      > ⌒ヽ    /   へ\    /  / \\    レ ノ   ヽ_つ   / / one night   / /… https://t.co/ZNIg7oZqiY @meganamram I want to see it with you so badTHE CATS ARE TOO SMALL!!! I REPEAT, THE CATS ARE TOO SMALL!!!!!!! https://t.co/z7IGQYFDCQ
Retweeted by danielle weisbergPlease stop saying the plot of Cats is confusing. The plot of Cats is that they're cats and they introduce themselv… https://t.co/QXfz8pzRij
Retweeted by danielle weisbergmy entire day has been derailed bc of this possibly my weekso important to have a supportive work environmentI just paused the simpsons room to watch the CATS trailer 100% best decision I made today I will never recover❣️i want him to miss a step today in the way that makes his heart nervous ❣️astrology is 99% meaningless to me, except when it isn't, at which point it is 100% factual and accurate
Retweeted by danielle weisbergit’s also part of the systemic problem of men not meeting with women bc they immediately think sexually while we’re… https://t.co/yczNWQcA77so i thought about this and while at first i laughed i sincerely think it’s fucked up that this person who i though… https://t.co/HYDMoO7cFbI’m tired of people who’d call me a kike pretending they care about Jewish feelings
Retweeted by danielle weisberg @MeganNeuringer I was growing out my bangs when my dad died and I 100% feel youstill reelingThis is so breathtakingly honest. Required reading by Claudia Rankine https://t.co/bqJNovX1Dp
Retweeted by danielle weisberg✨ i want to punch him in the soft underbelly of his throat ✨Feels great to be mad all the time
Retweeted by danielle weisbergHRC was being generous with “deplorable”over the weekend a small group of us hollywood assistants pooled together and raised $390 to split among border-ass… https://t.co/qenNuv0cSjhey what’s up i was just rejected by someone i was not even hitting on — a preemptive noooo bitch. what a gift. my life is a chef’s kiss
7/18
2019
if u reply to my tweets u legally have to follow me sorry i dont make the rules i just enforce ‘em @CarlyJGarber @woody_hydrick thanks gurl u a real one but we’re friends now @AndyRichter I wish. was mostly arugula :( @jjdanek I support you @jjdanek omg you use super likes ?? JohnLadies what are we doing with our one wild and precious life today? I'm going to be online
Retweeted by danielle weisbergcrying into a salad is hot girl summer @LizAlps just sent 💫this whole debate about whether it's "subjective" to call things/people "racist" is based on the (very white!) assu… https://t.co/1TpXYUrdTC
Retweeted by danielle weisberg @jourdayen coffee! was making my anxiety noticeably worse, heart palpitations, etc. I switched to tea and the first… https://t.co/HU3HgzFnbW @LizAlps thanks so much!! @LizAlps hi Liz! Here’s my rec from an upper level writer — wasn’t sure if I could be added to the staffing grid, b… https://t.co/xPUggDbkSbgood evening. no clarity in sight ! it’s almost as if I should give up (obviously, bravely, I will persist)o right, hot girl summer [one hand in each bag of snacks] hot girl [looks down at mismatched sweatsuit] hot? [pick… https://t.co/1dHgDkdcWCHow is your social media scrolling going mine is making me feel terrible and I am going to keep doing it for the next nine hours
Retweeted by danielle weisbergtoday was the awards ceremony for this and it was inspiring and meaningful and teachers are so important but especi… https://t.co/1tG6aZQBK8Did somebody say “Emmy nomination for Outstanding Animated Program”? Woo-hoo! 🙌 #TheSimpsons #Emmys https://t.co/3OFATaUNwD
Retweeted by danielle weisberg @leflourchild was this on ebaumsworldI accidentally paid all my July bills in the first week and half of the month and damn that is my first real taste… https://t.co/frDDKwMvJSRichard Spencer has been banned from the majority of European countries, including Hungary, which is itself far-rig… https://t.co/BbXR1QetKP
Retweeted by danielle weisbergluv 2 celebrate and reward incels !!!! this makes me feel good !!!! https://t.co/3YB3Af2J6a
7/17
2019
but most of all, congrats to me for watching so much television
Retweeted by danielle weisberg🎶 face down, ass up that’s the way I like to cry when I am aloneI know my therapy’s working bc I have no desire to use that app that shows you how you look old it’s called being in the PRESENT ok ????truly, what the fuckno one is sexier while removing a toddler from their mother’s arms !!! yes bitch werk !!!!!!!!!!!!! https://t.co/GAmr5vfcw1
7/16
2019
We should change the age of adulthood to 33.
Retweeted by danielle weisberg
7/15
2019

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