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Keifer @DannyVegito Virginia

fix your hearts or die | Keifer | 24 | he/him | @libralater 💕

933 Following   3,831 Followers   22,032 Tweets

Joined Twitter 11/24/11


rich dudes love tweeting things like “if I had to pay my employees more than $7.25 an hour I’d have to close down m… https://t.co/muPDBvlRCHthey’ll do anything but pay us to stay home https://t.co/egKXu95TTE @yeahrightgirlhg proof that being a libertarian requires you to not know a single thing about how businesses work @disco_socialist I’ve never seen so many people in my life negotiate for less moneyit makes no scientific sense to me how Viggo Mortensen is older than Sean Bean https://t.co/9nB6PmbWiSthis small businesses minimum wage argument is dumb as hell cause if the only way your business can stay open is by… https://t.co/av6qAZjZTO
Retweeted by Keifergetting emotional at the way Boromir acts like he’s Merry & Pippin’s dad https://t.co/z6s4C5H4gwhttps://t.co/CPlWBtU1jNwatching some little guys running around https://t.co/3V4YayV5CEme: Come quick. I see something Lynchian wife: Is it another bug crawling in the dirt me: [getting angry and lying] No It's something else
Retweeted by KeiferWandaVision is automatically good based purely on this one gag https://t.co/vqj4hAr2A4we know we’ve officially moved on from Warren because there aren’t any blue check accounts tweeting stuff like “Eli… https://t.co/JrXkHziljI @ldrinkh20 my one big issue with Birds of Prey was that scene where they play a super serious version of Hit Me Wit… https://t.co/jpSEQX4n61
1/16
2021
https://t.co/nXc2uvBbDa
Retweeted by Keifer @AthertonKD @jbouie so many skits fall under that criteria but the Heidecker charades sketch especially so because… https://t.co/6VsfSEKmo1every friday at 5 pm https://t.co/Wwq18tNQyu
Retweeted by Keifer @ldrinkh20 it’s fun!I spent a total of three days in new york. while I was in a pizza shop a homeless man cut everyone in line and trie… https://t.co/E3DAHs5xTMdon’t know what the weird fixation is on defending $1400. $2000 is not enough. we shouldn’t thank people actively t… https://t.co/fl4iG7SQ9Jhttps://t.co/sv0ocU68NS
Retweeted by Keifer @disco_socialist you have lots of twitter followers how can you not be super rich??Persie’s covering for me at work while I’m sick https://t.co/ua63JQj3O4anime intro anime outro https://t.co/BJ1ffRqJrW
Retweeted by Keifer @prolezone I don’t hate her! and I certainly don’t expect successful musicians to be commies. they can’t all be George Michaelgonna do some research to see if MGMT is still cool https://t.co/XsAIJibZiq @AvryRobinOtt it’s the most shameful place to do itif you think the $1400 check is as good as $2000 then why not push for it to be $2000?
Retweeted by Keifer
1/15
2021
@vrunt oh you went to trade school too?BREAKING: Joe Biden reportedly “irked” that people are demanding a full $2000 following the news he was planning on… https://t.co/7vtVnGLeQ01400 would almost be hilarious if it wasn't so goddamn heartless https://t.co/Bz6X5KbhDS
Retweeted by Keifer @marycameroon have you considered a wig!anyone who sexts in instagram dms should be immediately canceledhttps://t.co/V6oc4BFOut https://t.co/22JQFT1PTM
Retweeted by Keifer @kremedelakitty_ this is how you cook shrimp if you don’t want to taste it at allhttps://t.co/jYrcGv23e1 https://t.co/9CJJCYHfTpIQ is just astrology for white supremacists @hamsandcastle frankly it’s a little impressive he avoided covid this long. not THAT impressive considering they’ve… https://t.co/xlx3I7gOxcjust finished We Need To Talk About Kevin https://t.co/FINhlp7Ijy @Csysel @sorry_hat looks like Metal Gear @rameradam I’ll take it!1 year later https://t.co/rG23KrUVzx https://t.co/Fh7OvUteye @ldrinkh20 the storming of capitol hill was a terrifying event that made us as a nation ask “what if there were little guys running around?”does anyone think Biden will survive a full term @ldrinkh20 Albert Brooks is so good in it
1/14
2021
@firagawalkwthme it dips in and out of streaming services so it can be hard to find without a physical copy! I thin… https://t.co/zCFNa5b4O0 @firagawalkwthme Tenenbaums is probably my favorite movie @aardvarkwizard I’m used to feeling random pain but this was a pronounced soreness that kept me from sleeping @isaiah_bb libi wins @fellawhomstdve @AvryRobinOtt the main characters in The Defenders meet during a hallway fight scene. this is not a joke @fellawhomstdve “before I go inside, does anyone want to go home?” https://t.co/kK8F6nhfuj @supermilksan good morning, sunday morningoh my god she killed them all https://t.co/xM6OiTvzmZ @ldrinkh20 dude’s a shockingly good actorgeorge lucas said "luke skywalker DOES NOT fuck" https://t.co/jW8La40QnL
Retweeted by KeiferIT'S BEEN - https://t.co/Z0NSNgxFoe
Retweeted by Keiferthis guy just discovered twitter for the first time https://t.co/nW28lyyj7R
Retweeted by KeiferI like twitter because we can argue about the quality of Shrek as a movie while congress argues about impeaching th… https://t.co/16a3elcC8Xhttps://t.co/7felEWyBDx
Retweeted by Keifer @100gretch millennial if you’re the youngest sibling, gen z if you’re the oldest/only child @why_nathan only smart customer I’ve ever had in my 2 years of working there was a 7 year old who asked why we didn’t have spicy nuggets @why_nathan oh for sure. come back when you do the real big brain tactics like getting chocolate syrup in the cookies & cream shakes @Cazzy It’s dumb and only adds more work for everyone involved. I’ve worked three jobs since I finished college and… https://t.co/7Flx7hzYhS @2ndbaseboy you can buy it in plenty of supermarkets!I worked at a CFA when I was a teen and this was our most ordered drink https://t.co/uG3HOayCKTlol https://t.co/FZcmNwv23a
Retweeted by Keifer @Boringstein weird of him to blame the red states and maga attitude for why he can’t see Jungle Cruise as if this h… https://t.co/OEZeAvRZuE
1/13
2021
I don't think you could make parody funnier than bob posting this in response to what he's quoting https://t.co/ncgbyZ0hNg
Retweeted by Keifereveryone: please pay us, cancel rent, and make vaccination accessible cuomo: I am sending Amy Schumer into your ho… https://t.co/pemLQcNgV4 @lukeisamazing https://t.co/kKcOwKYMxwlistening to sea shanties* *the 2010 Gorillaz album Plastic Beach @kathbarbadoro Harry: look out for those dementors Tony! Tony: those ain’t dementias Harry. *cocks pistol* those are gabaghoulsi can't stop laughing at this https://t.co/ve3p6HzDsW
Retweeted by Keiferhe has to be bi. he was cyclops https://t.co/kfDgdABJrxthis mfer is really named Gilbert GrapeAn extremely predictable story in two parts. https://t.co/Vx7serRHZP
Retweeted by Keifer @louisebjacob https://t.co/hvPf8wgfWh @elyse_tendi you gotta admire that! a fan base that isn’t in denialeven the most dedicated Lana Del Rey fan will be like “yeah she’s dumb as hell”Lana Del Rey does NOT have the discography to be acting like that @jmartinwrites Flash @aklingus @letterboxd your longer letterboxd reviews are one of the only ones I can read before my adhd brain starts yelling!
1/12
2021
why am I losing followers? I’m not dead yet assholes! @TactlessOgre wow I just looked at her award stats and she’s NEVER won a major award. I thought people liked I, Tonyathe pure hubris in submitting Gal Gadot for best actress when WB did a comic book movie with MARGOT ROBBIE earlier… https://t.co/ocfRRkZDU5 @lib_crusher I believe in one thing and that it’s that things should stay exactly as they are!! @9_volt_ the white house ruined E3The vaccine rollout is so typical of this country's approach to delivering public goods. A decentralized and underf… https://t.co/4NVTOwWVx5
Retweeted by Keiferyou’re telling me it’s easier to hack a person’s balls than it is to hack wherever they’re keeping our student loans https://t.co/y7YK4jgdxZMe to Joe Biden the day that $2000 hits my checking account https://t.co/DvB8u5QK3P
Retweeted by Keifera minor thing that makes quarantining more difficult is that we can’t do our laundry because our apartment complex… https://t.co/mn0DjOor4i @ldrinkh20 I’m sorry I failed rosa @ldrinkh20 Gemma wandering around liked the bored kid at the supermarketthese are always a treat and if you aren’t sure if you want to watch it you should know there’s a sequence where Ma… https://t.co/v6yrhy2ceKthe problem: truck drivers are costing us money and injuring and killing themselves and others because they’re exha… https://t.co/n9sUu4O8D9good example of how capitalism only tries to fix symptoms instead of identifying and curing the disease https://t.co/5eUUMQYObQobsessed with this https://t.co/1geixlYUTR
Retweeted by Keifer @AthertonKD literally even “first come first serve” would be more effective than this @Koslofskyspeaks when you’re teaching a 2nd grader about genresa lot of people are responding with Carrey in The Truman Show but that movie’s at least partially a comedy and part… https://t.co/uaHe4cxi1rDavid Lynch being a Yeezus fan brings me so much joy (and that he almost made a BOTL video!!) https://t.co/w63ijCP9Dg
Retweeted by Keifer
1/11
2021

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