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America's Only Music Writer™

1,236 Following   31,141 Followers   29,993 Tweets

Joined Twitter 11/6/09

@dinahomz and i'd do it again @BillyWerner i just got my hand stuck in a jar of queso :(pre-pandemic: i eat 4-6 small meals throughout the day which helps maintain my energy levels and my macros. now: i…
@nesgritton he favors the journey over the destination and we’re lucky to have him @nesgritton a scene I think about a lot is that You Can’t Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd one. he could’ve just did t… consummate showman. this man would die before breaking character.
@SamRussoMusic david lunchat the artist talk like
Retweeted by Dan Ozzi @audiation i just said i'm not gonna kill them.when someone finally returns my email @fruitskeletons No. Much, much more uncomfortable.update: the risotto episode just broke me. one of the most tender episodes of television i've ever seen which also featured cat puke.really wish this guy understood how many families have been torn apart by right-wing brain poisoning and how far go…
@JeremyXBolm Joey Fatone / Phil Anselmo I just venmoed you my pre order @Corybranan That Petty line reminds me of another lyric I like. “How bout you wait to see just what you regret, til… @Hey4qualung Which article was that?THE NOW in a Philly basement. Their output was slim and overlooked. It falls apart a minute in but still kinda scra… not be a stupid ass in my life. do not clownstyle me
Retweeted by Dan Ozzi @mirandareinert i have millions of opinions i hope one day you'll hear me out @moldyfish @en_cohen @taleenkali yes! tender is the word that keeps coming to mind @moldyfish @en_cohen a toilet opinion! i thought you said you were offering a counterpoint, not a big ole mudpie th… @en_cohen for every wimpy genre, i will give a pass to the King Wimps and clown on the rest. @en_cohen or maybe flatlined @en_cohen what is out of character about this??!? everyone knows my music taste peaked in 2003!just listened to the postal service record for the first time in many years. it's amazing 1. how sweet the songwri…
Retweeted by Dan Ozzi @Hey4qualung you're in luck bc i just listened to it yesterday @dinahomz you're unhingedthe Brands are about to welcome us to the black parade just paid for: 170 masks 68 cans of soup 24 bottles of hand sanitizer ☺️☺️☺️ thank you!! (and there are m…
@tedcruz damn bro this is so sick have u ever played cards against humanity @imLeor you forgot “accidentally” leaving it in the comedy/showtunes section before leavingevery time i try to fix a sentence with an em dash is my favorite #music account
Retweeted by Dan Ozzi @rachel_pick i'm gonna stand on your fire escape and shoot you in the neck with a tranquilizer blowdart @rachel_pick don't make me tap the tweet and choad
Retweeted by Dan Ozzi
@CaitlinPacific @BobbyBigWheel i know this is on the outer reaches of accidental dril but just flagging to throw onto the runners up pileif you’re feelin generous this holiday week, buy a postcard to make a donation! imagine the THRILL of helping peopl…
Retweeted by Dan Ozzi @lightintheattic cannot believe you fired this off before we could workshop the captioncontroversial opinion but the people whose gross incompetence and willful neglect cost us all a year of connectivit…
There isn’t a corner of Twitter that’s not like this.
Retweeted by Dan Ozzithere should be a tim robinson thanksgiving float @Macys @Lovely_Linds Happy thanksgiving to all and even you!!
1. this rocks. and 2. all but two people in this video were interviewed pretty extensively for My Book. you’re feelin generous this holiday week, buy a postcard to make a donation! imagine the THRILL of helping peopl… @themenzingers I think it’s really cool that you’re trying to divide your fans into rival gangs @HCJustinn Hell yea dude. I often think it’d be cool to tell my younger self that I write about music for a living… @shittygreg [dmx plays in background]
@cmclymer @JoeBiden lol patheticlove how we can tweet about an entire country like it's the fuckin McRib @mollytaft god this is so my type I can’t even. if she had some shitty tattoo of the state where she grew up my GODWHERE 👏 IS 👏 DANZIG 👏 SINGS 👏 ELVIS?? @mollytaft I’m a Fransexual @mirandareinert @DBAnthony oooo i'm miranda i don't like songs about killing cops. all i know is make zine, rank em… @mirandareinert @DBAnthony yeah and guess what Assück rocks too! @mirandareinert @DBAnthony Fulfilling my Dudes Rock duties and agreeing w my boy David here
@fisher_birch The best night of the year after Hearing Test Thursday.back when my friend and I hosted a simpsons trivia night, we once asked this as a question. someone asked if we wou… @sallysputnik 😰 @BobbyBigWheel if i were still working at a music site i would have quit on the spot if Misbehavin' wasn't counted…'s no such thing as a fake song. once a piece of music enters the world it's as real and valid as any other.… @OfAllThingsAli , post appropriate simpsons gif,Good morning! I’m h***y.
Retweeted by Dan Ozziall i know is write book, listen to menzinger song, & be jerk onlinethis is one of the funniest sentences I’ve ever read hate when that happens
@IlhanMN After hearing “if you like your healthcare plan, you can keep it!” as an Obama campaign promise for a year… 👏 interested 👏 in 👏 your 👏 food 👏 opinions 👏 unless 👏 your 👏 name 👏 ends 👏 in 👏 a 👏 voweloof hearing about how turkey is good from a lot of people who drink milk with dinner. ummm sorry the men in your fa… @cgduckworth ahem my family is italian and i take offense to this. sorry we don't fuck with boring settler food! ge… many people are gonna die this week for a food that's not even worth it. lasagna? yeah i'll risk an incurable di… @mtferal Not only shocking but then went on for so long that it became banal. Incredible.three friends within 24 hours told me to watch How to With John Wilson and guess what i LOVE it. like someone gave… @malitzd oh you mean uncle robert?
Hello pals. Want me to mail you one of these goth as hell postcards? I’m selling these for $5. 📫 100% OF THE PROCE…
Retweeted by Dan Ozzi @BobbyBigWheel, Jan 1, 2020: this is the year I’m really gonna get myself together! me today: @JillKrajewski @Nina_Corcoran RataTWOille @JeremyXBolm huh interesting @en_cohen Just say his name. Chris Christie.
@carriecourogen no no nonot so fast my good bitch pals. Want me to mail you one of these goth as hell postcards? I’m selling these for $5. 📫 100% OF THE PROCE… you considered --getting a roommate --skipping the morning latte at the coffee shop --getting a second job --…
Retweeted by Dan Ozzi
Retweeted by Dan Ozzi @JoeBiden the patreon president. @Nina_Corcoran ok so for this joke to work please remember that his real name is henry garfield.... janeane garfie… hope to someday be as happy as Henry Rollins was at the premiere of Ratatouille
Retweeted by Dan Ozzi"let's hold off on criticizing biden until after the election" "let's hold off on criticizing biden until after th… @robinjection i think of this scene every day @byalexzaragoza serious question do you think she would date me don't laugh
@robinjection how has he not caught it yet @patrickhosken A bromance for the ages. @mikaelajpalermo @JohnDeDomenici if you hate your plan, you can keep it!if you donate to razorcake you get a shirt with a skull-headed octopus grinding a mailbox on a skateboard. don't se… @JohnDeDomenici @mikaelajpalermo amazing. the system works.