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Notifications on! ๐ŸŒต๐Ÿ’š - Bass for Adrenalin @chesscow - Avatar: @ObscureAaron - https://t.co/7ej7DT3aeQ

669 Following   26,847 Followers   40,467 Tweets

Joined Twitter 12/16/11


Have we thought about the fact that an entire generationโ€™s โ€œback in my dayโ€ music will be I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry?
Retweeted by Dave Cactus @ChuckWendig Hi Chuck, this is by @whatmaddness and it is amazing. https://t.co/qOn83Kbixo @AubriePesky I would never! ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ @AubriePesky What if I have poutine tomorrow? Will that help? @jeresisler I have never tried this! Maybe for tomorrow's lunch? @I_Wear_Flannels Most stores have mint jelly, yeah. @Nate_Halls None. @TraciGrrl It's so good! @I_Wear_Flannels I made it, at my house, with regular ingredients from the store. @BigTucsonDad Hey buddy, just out here getting absolutely roasted over enjoying a little bit out of the ordinary luโ€ฆ https://t.co/yh4oyZG9oQ @AubriePesky Aubrie they are trying to murder me in the replies. ๐Ÿ˜” @whatmaddness WELL DESERVED ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’š @birdappKING It's so good. @lyfeofdad 1. Yes. 2. It is a bit more neon green in color than expected, but it tastes good. 3. Because there is aโ€ฆ https://t.co/R0VcjQLMK4
1/24
2021
@JPintheLDOT Thank you, friend! @Home_Halfway Good afternoon! How is your day going? @Ygrene I DID THIS FOR YOU @spaghet_spartan U RAPPIN COOL @pilau I just got your text, are you still in New York? @Prof_Hinkley Weird thing to eat for lunch but I support you. @CafeconScience It's Saturday, and time for delicious lunch.What's for lunch, friends? https://t.co/yBe8npBJ3e#FF @dave_cactus
Retweeted by Dave Cactus @SirEviscerate No thanks.๐Ÿ˜ @chudneyspears OF COURSE the correct answer is losing by a landslide. @flindis @itsmebeegee07 LINDSI! @flindis @itsmebeegee07 https://t.co/pxrpAn7ZhG @Tommytoughstuff Happy birthday! @Jcsproat https://t.co/Eprv5oMwa7
1/23
2021
Where's Waldo, but with cold Bernie. @eastbaybub ๐Ÿ˜ณImagine Optimus Prime transforming into a robot and going through an entire epic battle sequence only to then lookโ€ฆ https://t.co/Y81OXsI84L
Retweeted by Dave Cactus @KnifeWifeXx It'd be like that scene in Die Hard 3. @luvbvzz @ProsephStalin RIP MY MENTIONS @luvbvzz @ProsephStalin I haven't been 26 since 2004! @officialsimpbot Fair. I will not pry. ๐Ÿฅบ @officialsimpbot Which one did you send? @ProsephStalin @luvbvzz ๐Ÿฅบ @luvbvzz @ProsephStalin I can vouch. @luvbvzz @ProsephStalin I will let you tattoo my back.In honor of @ProsephStalin's birthday, I propose a Gofundme to buy him a tattoo. @luvbvzz @HailPosty I need to hug you and Post. This is a life goal. @luvbvzz ๐Ÿค” @luvbvzz ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’š @luvbvzz The real story here is that you're only as tall as the doorknob! @amberrmoh AMBERโ€” ๐Ÿ˜ญ @amberrmoh DROP SONG PLEASEGRUMPY OLD MAN: Back in my day memes were French clowns that were trapped in boxes in the park! Not a cold man at aโ€ฆ https://t.co/o3xAWifc8N
Retweeted by Dave Cactusevery squirrel you see is currently on a dare from another squirrel
Retweeted by Dave Cactus @Prof_Hinkley Four if you count me. @luvbvzz ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿ˜‘ @Woody_B_ @ShutUpThatsWho https://t.co/MQedP8Vuqz
1/22
2021
Selling nut vids, call that "Free Market Fapitalism"
Retweeted by Dave Cactus @RepMTG @BidenInsultBot @spaghet_spartan @kravasx This is too good not to make into a standalone tweet. @spaghet_spartan @kravasx There's enough room for everyone in this free market.I wasnโ€™t born to be wild. I was born to nap
Retweeted by Dave Cactus @itsmebeegee07 Pretty sure no one actually likes onions. @lincnotfound @MissyXMartinez https://t.co/kXBL8wa8Jd @joseisnotfunny What do you call it?https://t.co/IgO0mNDOMm @spaghet_spartan ๐Ÿ”ด @TheAndrewNadeau @Shenaniglenns OK, I'm in. @Shenaniglenns @TheAndrewNadeau Let's hear him out. @milkglutton_ https://t.co/H5fIhjZOWOThere is a drinking game where you drink every time a kid annoys you. It's called "parenting."
Retweeted by Dave Cactus @RodLacroix My first to get 1000 likes in a day. Still waiting on my letter of apology. https://t.co/NOHMcJasPsWhen something is across both streets at an intersection, it is...๐Ÿ˜ @human_not_bees @lincnotfound? @storm_waldron @awsten @waterparks Yo we gave the first, second, and third copies to Awsten, Otto, and Geoff beforeโ€ฆ https://t.co/goZp2eA2Vm @EMlYLISM You do your thing. ๐Ÿ’š @awsten @storm_waldron @waterparks Haha what is going on?ted cruz: rejoining WHO only benefits the citizens of whoville
Retweeted by Dave Cactus @adult_mom Ash I'm so sorry. ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’šBig deal. I also start working a few hours after I clock in. https://t.co/XGTVztTtgV
Retweeted by Dave CactusBREAKING NEWS: Former Parks and Recreation Guest Star Joe Biden Sworn In As President of the United States https://t.co/vuGTD4fQQh
Retweeted by Dave Cactus @seanvaughnjovi I'll send an autographed copy so you can leave it on their desk with confidence! @Skoog Thank goodness for rule 2! @spaghet_spartan I am sensing a lot of tramp stamp potential here, but I need a ruling from @henchbeaver. @MisterHeart10 What is embarrassing?Ok hear me out https://t.co/DvvqO9fqY6
Retweeted by Dave CactusBig deal. I also start working a few hours after I clock in. https://t.co/XGTVztTtgV
1/21
2021
@TheHyyyype https://t.co/MLZCuD1M1N๐Ÿ˜‘ @missparanomasia I suppose I could have, but the intent was to make a silly joke observation. ๐Ÿ˜Š @TheBoydP I hope @TheHyyyype sees this.The note left for Joe Biden wasnโ€™t for him but for Joe Exotic
Retweeted by Dave Cactus @milkglutton_ @DuelingDragons9 @chudneyspears @Mydaily_Q @racheltildeanne @Woody_B_ @flindis @lincnotfoundโ€ฆ https://t.co/irxhGh6GzHWhile you're enjoying this tweet, please take a moment to check out some of these excellent folks.โ€ฆ https://t.co/5ZL28gTwwlhttps://t.co/l1nTOODGkt
Retweeted by Dave CactusWait you're not supposed to put a fork in a toaster???
Retweeted by Dave Cactus @fro_vo @BidenInsultBot @TheHyyyype Almost! https://t.co/msVZ4NuQYi @henchbeaver 46 stars are my next tramp stamp.BREAKING NEWS: Former Parks and Recreation Guest Star Joe Biden Sworn In As President of the United States https://t.co/vuGTD4fQQh @fro_vo @Browtweaten @CrockettForReal @momjeansplease @cableknitjumper @curlycomedy https://t.co/FWradWfhHFGeese are constantly honking because they're horny.
1/20
2021

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