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Joined Twitter 12/3/15


@daveanthony "Food"This week’s @ComedyBangBang podcast has my old Mr. Show buddy & Arrested Development’s own @davidcrosss! Plus bask… https://t.co/75fAN53MeF
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((
5/21
2019
Okay this site is garbage. YES I use 2% milk! Sometimes whole milk but mostly 2%. Why do u care?! This does not mak… https://t.co/qZiv8SLfyu
5/20
2019
@drisc_peep Oh that was a great show. Those two 8 year old boys up front with their mom and stepdad? That was crazy @michaelianblack It's always about me @Brian_Ousley I *think* those are Sol Moscot. Not certain though.Jesus christ this thread.. https://t.co/lOgcO5opBgWow. This is astonishing. https://t.co/xf6k7bTbzg
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((
5/19
2019
Which airport customs line is this? Or did you have a blindfold on and were escorted through until you got to Buffa… https://t.co/qz0qN7HHWz"They’re clearly riled up after a day of legislating and are just out to cause some trouble." https://t.co/vjWiosuEHG
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((We need to make this thread go viral. Do your thing twitter. https://t.co/yfBJIo5wZi
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((
5/17
2019
Good (MSNBC) Conservative Noah Rothman: Those who accuse the Trump administration of seeking a war with Iran are co… https://t.co/2bAv0ZPc4D
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((Yeah, it's called, "Christianity". https://t.co/RjvE9aaosV
5/16
2019
I guess this is the only way we can get abortions now https://t.co/hI0A2Ig0iC
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((The guys who are afraid they'll be paid to bake a wedding cake want you to spend the next 18 years of your life arr… https://t.co/3yxBkfEueG
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((There is a deep rot in a political party when even it's primary candidates are so afraid of falling out of favor wi… https://t.co/qW3yiRWfBG
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((there's not a single thing in this world a male could experience that would even come close to the indignity of bei… https://t.co/7ce37msD3i
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((What better way to celebrate my beautiful wife's 36th birthday than by checking out my supple new comedy special Oh… https://t.co/8bhGfscK1W @drisc_peep Oh you're right. Missed that one @KevinMoran44 @GregFitzShow Thanks! Hope you like itfor as hysterical as Tim Conway was on the Carol Burnett Show I'll always remember him and Harvey Korman horsing ar… https://t.co/sGvB4DUOzk
Retweeted by )))David Cross((( @maggiekb1 We made it up!
5/15
2019
Here's a poster from the Oh Come On tour. Here also, is a pic of me autographing said poster at DC HQ. Learn more h… https://t.co/R7PtVpzQC2I know that this very smart, very impassioned woman is getting dragged for calling Hamas, "humus", but NO ONE is gi… https://t.co/4O4S6FJrO6
5/14
2019
Fingers crossed https://t.co/obgdXj6Qdw @AJemaineClement This seems par for the course @libbycwatson *in the best Nicholas Cage delivery - soft then very very LOUD* Where is that pizza from?How a Trump admin Interior Dept official explained why the dept had abruptly canceled a study into coal mining’s ef… https://t.co/CFnLIV4xxI
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((Oh well Sanders supporters, it was a good run. Excited to see who the Democratic nominee will be now https://t.co/xFKbuNV5Ar
5/13
2019
I wrote about a perfect and crystalline moment of Trump brain mastery: https://t.co/KWsI4P3mMH
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((Most of you got this one. Never saw G.G. Allin. Although I did see Gigi Allen, a G.G. Allin tribute act. https://t.co/Cyi7wvWDet @freddustyhorn Me too @helpslaw @MikeSegalov I love this story!Fishbone Laurie Anderson Bongwater G.G.Allin Slayer Prince https://t.co/da242ouGsi
5/12
2019
It's official, I'm in the talkies! See Oh Come On in the theater on the big screen with the grownups. In these ten… https://t.co/tFejbrvDPZWhere is men’s outrage for what is happening to the rights of women right now? Where are the men journalists, polit… https://t.co/GV0dZvXFym
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((
5/11
2019
A boy can dream... https://t.co/heSMBeK6Qs
5/10
2019
@RussTamblyn Thanks pops! @rollwave76 @TheWoodyShow Ha! @wolfpartychris You're welcome @spejampar I do it for the people @DuncanCredible As was just proven on "Fox and Friends"He then segued into how impossible it was to think that America could afford to implement universal healthcare. "Pi… https://t.co/3mwy6Z558e
5/9
2019
This is simplistic and I think wrong. They used his being "a successful businessman" as a way to justify (to others… https://t.co/IlJJrBNN9hHollywood should pull out of Georgia, halt all 33 shows/movies shooting there, and restart them in a place with rea… https://t.co/dXrMgI6mYR
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((It's so important for younger people to know: these shootings, these drills, these evacuations...IT'S RECENT. It wa… https://t.co/ucPO9sJ0E9
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((Late last year @amajlaton, his girlfriend, and I were robbed at gunpoint in Baltimore (intersection of S Hanover St… https://t.co/wkyG2BaHHT
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((Right now, House Democrats appear convinced that the greatest political danger comes from exercising their legitima… https://t.co/AiyfoMfqXm
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((“6 weeks pregnant” = 2 weeks late on your period. Most of the men writing these bills don’t know the first thing a… https://t.co/EIy4tCJYMO
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((
5/8
2019
Introducing the FUCKIN' RAD DAVID CROSS OH COME ON STARTER PACK FOR THE PEOPLE PACK https://t.co/N24OvZiV1Z https://t.co/IOEoUWBNxH
5/7
2019
Real, non-phonies like Prof. Tribe are paid $75,000 per month by Peabody Coal Company to help overturn climate regu… https://t.co/v8XaQwrDQT
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((We obtained FEMA records about the contract given to a one-employee company to provide meals in Puerto Rico followi… https://t.co/WU0nwAD0B5
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((Hard https://t.co/VineCpJzW4 @virgilvox @mrbobodenkirk Okay @SkeletonKeyBrew Fantastic name. And rolls off the tongue too
5/6
2019
"We couldn't ban Nazis because then we'd have to ban Republicans" is going to be on this country's gravestone
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((Dear god, I’d never seen this statistic. “the global Jewish population in 2019 (~15 million) is still lower than… https://t.co/oKsnzaLKyT
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((THE HARDEST OF SELF-OWNS https://t.co/HnZECQdihu
Retweeted by )))David Cross((( @SarahKSilverman I was with you until thisJoining the chorus demanding @pattonoswalt be SNL’s Barr, but also wondering aloud why he doesn’t host once a damn year.
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((
5/3
2019
Look, I don't want to tell you how to live your life. But I'll be damned if I'm going to sit here and NOT let you k… https://t.co/6SbQh4u0yWAinsley Earhardt falsely claims that Congress hiring lawyers to question someone has "never happened before." Senat… https://t.co/e9jh7XZyla
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((This sounds like a Mr. Show sketch https://t.co/dJp9pvbZTu
5/2
2019
It shouldn’t surprise anyone to hear homophobic comments on Laura Ingraham’s show anymore, but the fact that it was… https://t.co/VTP5GJ9gbo
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((I am grateful for all the encouragement I received to run for U.S. Senate, and I’m committed to doing everything I… https://t.co/wCicSNkBjf
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((Those adults who don’t think gun violence can happen to them, the reason they think that is because they don’t have… https://t.co/sYbz6HcWgm
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((This is so good. @TheDemocrats pay attention. https://t.co/Hv4SHUbIcP
Retweeted by )))David Cross((( @HJBenjamin A "national emergency"Yay! Joe Biden for president!!! https://t.co/rBjPUxZajGThe NRA has successfully prevented gun violence research for the past 20 years at the CDC. As a result of the hig… https://t.co/2VM11OhCif
Retweeted by )))David Cross((( @CleanJab Tweet this out for himself
4/30
2019
@CleanJab Do the Italian Pizza Chef kiss thing with his fingers @joshtpm Have you met Television, Public Relations agencies, and Marketing departments? They'll provide the unfortunate answer you seek
4/29
2019
Thread: As a NICU nurse, I served on the “Bereavement Team.” We were a special team of Nurses tough enough to help… https://t.co/PhV3k7c2wi
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((I want a Dogma filmmaker to make this into a full length movie. Shot on film, not digital, with a score by Phillip… https://t.co/UYGWIxQ1OK @CruConnexion Can't be done @JabezMcB @MikeSegalov This is getting crazyOkay sure. Google, "COINTELPRO". That should answer a few questions https://t.co/Y4D57yLFN9 @mattdpearce @latimes Do not look at, consider, give credence to or even cite polling #'sHi Republican SuperPAC @AmericaRising & @joniernst if u need video of all my public mtgs, I have an offer for you… https://t.co/CsvQm02Dkj
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((
4/28
2019
The day after it comes out that Twitter can't ban Nazis without also banning the entire House Freedom Caucus becaus… https://t.co/18wPpsL2f7
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((The IRS Commissioner who’s deciding whether to release Trump’s tax returns make as much as $1 million from Trump-br… https://t.co/fmTSVVfouR
Retweeted by )))David Cross((( @JabezMcB @MikeSegalov I have always loved you @thermoware I will sadly check that out @iamteriadams Let me brush firstOh! https://t.co/N0akass3bZ @KenJennings TOOKEN actually @joss Oh...no @PFTompkins @ScottAukerman @laurenlapkus @threedomusa You guys are adorable!Tesla Posts Massive First Quarter Loss After Self-Driving Car Absconds With $702 Million in Cash… https://t.co/Ps2iJecZoI
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((
4/26
2019
This is absolute nonsense. We all know (or *should* know) that God does have a political party and he's a proud Whi… https://t.co/c2JFiIUW6dLovely piece from @peterdaou. Personally I voted for Sanders in the 2016 primary but then like Sanders himself, I w… https://t.co/SuuDTfCkTc
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((
4/24
2019
Good to know that Todd Weeks is doing okay https://t.co/2BTl7kLttlHow Warren is polling below *Joe freaking Biden* baffles me https://t.co/Kb07Fg8tha
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((Very good summary. The essential Mueller Report, for those still reading. https://t.co/bM4oGv3agF
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((
4/22
2019
The only thing that should follow “i’m not racist, but...” is “I do live in a system of institutionalized racism th… https://t.co/u3gAPJhOPH
Retweeted by )))David Cross(((
4/17
2019
Nothing to see here folks, just another Wednesday for a legend https://t.co/0eLjfqbvSc
Retweeted by )))David Cross((( @DCNetworkBuild You are severely misinformed @AshButta @HowardSchultz @BernieSanders My dreams came true! Also, bye bye
4/13
2019
@HowardSchultz @BernieSanders This is something that a very precocious 2nd grader would say. And you'd be duly impr… https://t.co/AfJunEOfKh
4/12
2019

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