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1,266 Following   1,468 Followers   8,998 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/24/07


I've always liked @AltShiftX 's reviews of Game of Thrones and Westworld but, even if you don't like those shows, t… https://t.co/H8ZSOulfrU"there is no way that this winter is ever going to end as long as this pangolin keeps seeing his shadow. i don't se… https://t.co/tQNJcBwlcM
Retweeted by Simon WistowIf anyone today says they or someone you know has COVID-19, and then says “Not really, April fool!” you are allowed… https://t.co/PYtoIbFWJo
Retweeted by Simon Wistow @termie https://t.co/1b2OglpdwwBlockchain technology can be very powerful when used right. Today, I had to review 60 candidate CVs for a couple of… https://t.co/H0wrqXV2mZ
Retweeted by Simon WistowProud to (finally) announce @OrionLabs $29m Series-B led by @TylerJewell at @DellTechCapital & our new CEO Gregory… https://t.co/VKFxOoZPot
Retweeted by Simon Wistow
4/1
2020
i’m doing fine tyvm https://t.co/2WgJirk47E
Retweeted by Simon Wistow
3/31
2020
Scenes from this evening: @awesome and I just fenced each other from the kitchen, along the hallway and into the li… https://t.co/YFaLhBy5WY
3/30
2020
@hex @tilton_raccoon GIMP crowd for literal decades: "fork it if you don't like the name" Glimpse: "Okay." GIMP crowd now: "How DARE"
Retweeted by Simon Wistow @lilyrosesloane @greggawatt https://t.co/06x527gtWY @FlennieJ It’s not just you. Everyone feels the samei mean cmon man, they call their garlic knots, "Bella Legosi's Bread" - we must protec
Retweeted by Simon WistowCan lots of people in DNA's delivery range order stuff, so their gin cocktails don't go to waste and they weather t… https://t.co/afsZQb4Cfy
Retweeted by Simon Wistow
3/29
2020
Literally no one: Me casually popping into this Zoom call: https://t.co/riB0pfCCcW
Retweeted by Simon WistowPSA for my 4am anxiety insomnia people: the @BBCRadio4 audio of the Shipping Forecast is available on demand, world… https://t.co/YGRDSOlg56
Retweeted by Simon Wistow @PeteZapitsa Honestly that could be the gimmick if the film - he keeps dying and is aware of it, like Groundhog DayI could see this working ... https://t.co/rkYdAmapqsThe always awesome @xatharine ... https://t.co/1l7tYxEBUd
3/28
2020
The house spider implies the existence of the dance spider, the trance spider, and the techno spider. Also the jun… https://t.co/7DmuU6fv0N
Retweeted by Simon Wistow
3/27
2020
"SPRINGTIME!" - banal - obvious - happens every year "I see Nature is reclaiming man's once-proud domain" - sombre… https://t.co/K2VVHipxSr
Retweeted by Simon WistowI think this every day & am so remiss in not tweeting earlier— @zoom_us employees, THANK YOU. I have experienced no… https://t.co/ob3eSJbCYG
Retweeted by Simon Wistow
3/26
2020
[writes and deletes several tweets] Good luck, America.
Retweeted by Simon Wistow @SethCotlar https://t.co/ODz9PWC8P2
Retweeted by Simon WistowMatt Hancock has said 18,700 final year student nurses ‘will move to the front line’ They will be risking their li… https://t.co/NarU6TgXoq
Retweeted by Simon WistowIt's not new but in these troubling times this playlist of Brian Cox pronouncing whisky names is what I imagine ASM… https://t.co/4XMBjwGKinWhere is your god now https://t.co/qjNewSgFaC
Retweeted by Simon WistowIncoming transmission. #MessageFromTheDoctor #DoctorWho https://t.co/WRTROxWRQy
Retweeted by Simon Wistow @robrousseau https://t.co/B4m272P1dM
Retweeted by Simon Wistow @robrousseau https://t.co/reOezhRSCD
Retweeted by Simon Wistowthe promise of potential mass human sacrifice has pleased The Line https://t.co/vLV5U19xR3
Retweeted by Simon Wistow @DeeWis @MrJamesMay @RealMaccLads Every so often I find myself singing the chorus to “Barrel’s Round” to myself at… https://t.co/kQFqaiBFZR @nimby @RogerCasement4 Y’know ... *apart from* the precipitating circumstances @nimby @RogerCasement4 Everything about the experience was delightful @quonky @RogerCasement4 I was drinking my Italia90 last night. Peas For Bees tonight I feelIf there’s one upside of all this *gestures wildly* - it’s being able to get delivery cocktails from @RogerCasement4 https://t.co/TkZImjj5UA
3/25
2020
"Every time you break isolation, someone will die," said the djinn. "But it will be a person you do not know." "H… https://t.co/b3OYDJi6qr
Retweeted by Simon WistowDo you think that, in some attic, there’s a piece of cheddar that hasn’t aged at all? https://t.co/TIKFius7BY
Retweeted by Simon Wistowlandlords are the only investors I've encountered who expect their investment revenue to remain constant & level no… https://t.co/6JGE8llhd0
Retweeted by Simon WistowDue to COVID19 concerns, TED Talks has pivoted to having animals present now (the audience is added in post). Her… https://t.co/yZUk2ayYiN
Retweeted by Simon Wistow
3/24
2020
@mfcrawford Troy, Moneyball, Mr & Mrs Smith, Fury and Killing Them Softly. World War Z a little too on the nose @obra My brother uses an Xbox360 + Kinect but he’s limited to SkypeA PSA and a reminder: If you're a customer and need some urgent COVID-19 related assistance or guidance from us, pl… https://t.co/tQM2JZXz5E
Retweeted by Simon Wistow
3/23
2020
@hondanhon How do I Kickstarter this immediately? Where on my phone do I insert the money or the card? Plz adviseIf you have a kindle or other ebook reader, download the Libby app and borrow books (including audiobooks) from the library!
Retweeted by Simon Wistowhttps://t.co/71N2bZeJEK https://t.co/dA8q9c97pK
Retweeted by Simon WistowThe taverns are fair full of gadabouts making merry this eve. And though I may press my face against the window lik… https://t.co/sy95VH6UVz
Retweeted by Simon Wistow
3/22
2020
@kittylyst Reached outJapanese Twitter is absolutely going wild about the crocodile manga
Retweeted by Simon WistowNeed a break from Covid? https://t.co/6Lgmt9bCU0 https://t.co/VmLOESfCEI
Retweeted by Simon Wistow
3/21
2020
What a massive thrill to share this stunning production with you all over again. Thank you to unforgettable… https://t.co/E9A2iy5McI
Retweeted by Simon Wistow
3/20
2020
On my way back to my lodgings, I came upon a man who declared himself safe from the pox due to his fondness for tak… https://t.co/Gsh2tKIDot
Retweeted by Simon Wistow @mfcrawford @awesome @timoni I am in for this plan @bobbie Might not be sciencey enough but https://t.co/zV1bd5oPp5 @mfcrawford His Dad also got busted for insider trading on the hiring of John Sculley by Spectrum from Apple. This… https://t.co/qHYGRnvItBThere is this @MazdaUSA commercial about a couple starting a restaurant together that I would put forth as the fast… https://t.co/teQZEFDy2l
Retweeted by Simon Wistow
3/19
2020
A huge number of @fastly customers use static object stores like @googlecloud storage as backends. Did you know you… https://t.co/6qlL5LF7rw
Retweeted by Simon WistowThank you to @cockscomb_sf for sending dinner to the medical staff at UCSF General tonight. This photo from my brot… https://t.co/K1IIWFEZZO
Retweeted by Simon WistowCongrats @quince and @obra - it looks amazing! https://t.co/J2WqrCjXiK
3/18
2020
I made some flashcards for you to hold up on videochat: https://t.co/tSPIEWqGWu You can install to your phone's h… https://t.co/APCRBslkWr
Retweeted by Simon Wistow @orangeacme The Imperial one?Death in Paradise is the perfect TV show for these times. It requires close to zero mental exertion, and it has pre… https://t.co/YxKIcTMSmf
Retweeted by Simon WistowIf you’re working on #COVID19 research, response, or mitigation and @slackhq can help in any way, email covid@slack… https://t.co/ieIlKpR7Sl
Retweeted by Simon Wistow
3/17
2020
If anyone else urgently needs a temporary system to manage volunteering, relief efforts, home assistance or similar… https://t.co/DtgrE6ht4Q
Retweeted by Simon Wistow
3/15
2020
Then it seems like it’s going to settle into being a decent enough “case o’ the week” procedural but it’s character… https://t.co/2riCkZ7QBBIf you’re looking for a new bingeable TV show at the moment then I feel like a lot of people have been sleeping on… https://t.co/hSEhawwaAGAs Big entered his second week of self-quarantine, I couldn't help but wonder: was he socially distancing, or dista… https://t.co/M5uDqDcucV
Retweeted by Simon WistowWhat if and hear me out here what if a PPE degree from Oxford isn’t the best qualification for running a country
Retweeted by Simon WistowLooking forward to Drive to Survive S3 Fyre festival edition #F1
Retweeted by Simon WistowI thought the "dark mode" switch was only controlling my phone, I'm really sorry for all of this.
Retweeted by Simon Wistow
3/13
2020
After 4+ great years at @nytimes, I am joining @fastly! I couldn't be more excited, especially because @lxt is join… https://t.co/4SvKga7O1d
Retweeted by Simon Wistow @lisaphillips Step 1: take a screen shot of the tiled faces view Step 2: set that as your virtual background Step… https://t.co/bzFnuoZaGa @sippey Which one? Not that it really matters, they’re both good
3/12
2020
I am insanely frustrated that taking reasonable steps to protect vulnerable populations has somehow become a partisan issue.
Retweeted by Simon WistowThe scene: our Bedroom at 3am. @awesome is refusing to let me sleep because she is scrolling around a map of Yorksh… https://t.co/sUfGdTUJrcIt’s amazing how close techbros are to discovering the value of invisible labor and yet are still so far away https://t.co/YD1JEIAfyV
Retweeted by Simon Wistowcontainers are not the future
Retweeted by Simon WistowIf you are interested in leading this team and contributing directly to making the internet a *little* less crappy,… https://t.co/vyb9RrE0Du
Retweeted by Simon Wistowthe only coronavirus content I want to read is by Anne Boyer https://t.co/cASV53FhMJ
Retweeted by Simon Wistow
3/11
2020
If it helps at all Rep. Gosar, you get roasted in committee almost every week so that’s kind of the same thing https://t.co/FgNrT5MqzV
Retweeted by Simon WistowIt was homophobic when you said gay men are paedophiles. It was homophobic when you said gay rights undermine oth… https://t.co/Gu3XsQNyyn
Retweeted by Simon WistowPpl who dont eat chinese take out bc of the virus arent allowed to eat pizza either
Retweeted by Simon Wistow
3/10
2020
The leave Britney alone guy had absolute moral clarity about a subject that would take the rest of society 10 years… https://t.co/WNPJhAQE3c
Retweeted by Simon Wistow
3/9
2020
@StephenKing First, they came for the sexual predators and I said nothing because de-platforming sexual predators is actually a good thing.
Retweeted by Simon WistowPanic buying is a symptom of a dysfunctional society diseased with individualism To those with litres of soap at h… https://t.co/rZsT5oOgX1
Retweeted by Simon WistowI mean god he could tweet the whole goddamn memoir on this hellsite. THIS ACTUAL HELLSITE THAT KING IS USING RIGHT NOW.
Retweeted by Simon Wistow @BRoodman @sonic Yessssss, join us. It’s warm here. And everything you hated about Comcast is gone🧀 Cheesy tweet incoming. At work, I always thought I'd spend my built-up goodwill on my future fuckups. In realit… https://t.co/A0P0KBXoC4
Retweeted by Simon Wistow
3/7
2020
"The prodigal tech bro doesn’t want structural change. He is reassurance, not revolution. He’s invested in the stat… https://t.co/vF4qokeQ85
Retweeted by Simon Wistow"Allowing people who share responsibility for our tech dystopia to keep control of the narrative means we never get… https://t.co/ivbo49vJD4
Retweeted by Simon WistowLooking at old files I caught a screenshot of when I sent a big bag of sugar-free gummy bears to the Bundy militia… https://t.co/1umhExX2FW
Retweeted by Simon WistowScenes from 16th and Mission. When the Walgreens closed, we knew we had to keep the W from the sign for posterity.… https://t.co/MWuBhMOhUa
Retweeted by Simon WistowI think the remote work many people are about to experience isn’t going to be great, and may end up disencouraging… https://t.co/KsbchH98A6
Retweeted by Simon WistowWe should have a term for that thing where your social media person comes in for what they'd expected to be a norma… https://t.co/jMKt74QVUm
Retweeted by Simon Wistow
3/6
2020
the scariest thing about COVID-19 is that it looks like a JIRA ticket
Retweeted by Simon WistowIntroducing Vegan Loaded Tots! Vegan cheddar, diced tofurkey sausage, and green onions! https://t.co/swluyHbF9J
Retweeted by Simon Wistow @daisy I was in a crowded cafe reading a review about the movie Gingersnaps years ago where it was described as a “… https://t.co/6ruf2gSgf3
3/5
2020
@annapickard If we collect a few more of these we’re honestly half way to a Twitter book dealFWIW so far I've found Folk, Cobook, Cardhop, Contacts+ and Busy Contacts. Any one used them? Any other recommendations?Apple ecoystem peeps: I want an OSX app that will allow me to organize all my contacts. At the moment a bunch haven… https://t.co/g5k5DJ1lVr @annapickard Have I ever told you about the time I assumed that Robitussin was alcohol based liked Linctus in the U… https://t.co/FSSsZBJA0y
3/4
2020

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