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Midwestern folk hero, living in NYC | he/him | avi by @kendrawcandraw | header by @luxjii

475 Following   546 Followers   77,946 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/1/16


i have decided to develop a gluten allergy to piss off my most hated waiters
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaRyan Reynolds' next hit movie, The Epic Stepdadthe dudes who run @OccupyDemocrats are under fire right now for allegedly pocketing PAC funds and i'm screaming at… https://t.co/C2nrJi4pM6
Retweeted by The Man of Astoriai do be awakening from a fitful slumber
Retweeted by The Man of Astoria
9/27
2022
I have a bad headache but the edible is also starting to hit. Entering a state known as "Forgotten Pain" @DylanRoth @daltondeschain Modern Jekyll/Hyde is Malignant, for better or worseRemembering “nerdcore rap” @ronchronchronch oh woof, this is like Kirk/Spock going down in the third round"The expressiveness shown in this track is truly perfection...there is something here for everyone." Big thanks to… https://t.co/ucg6TgAxLg
Retweeted by The Man of Astoria“Well they blew up Yamcha on DBZ last night” - Bruce Springsteen discovering Toonami in 2002
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaGlad that Elijah Mclain's murder is in the news again, hope the cops who killed him rot for it, but I still think t… https://t.co/gjg9pnZhjZThis reminds me of a movie I saw recently where Florence Pugh thinks something weird is going on but the 40 other p… https://t.co/KIrBKn29oO
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaAnd if you are a private person who prefers not to disgorge their entire life story in front of millions of strange… https://t.co/ASEpSrXhba
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaOne of the things I dislike about social media is the assumption that if you’re not willing to share your trauma fo… https://t.co/kTOnApzQgA
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaBlinky makes his Mario franchise debut in Mario Kart Arcade GP, where he appears as a playable character due to the… https://t.co/y1dzOuTcq1
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaGive me the Crimes of the Future breakfast chairMy 40 signatures of crew members insisting that I didn’t beef with Florence Pugh have people asking a lot of questi… https://t.co/cb1Te2i3Oj
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaThe JP manual for 'Ballz 3D' has realistic interpretations of the characters in it. Here is the artwork for Divine. https://t.co/1EYEwdE4L1
Retweeted by The Man of Astoriahttps://t.co/24NVA692YE
Retweeted by The Man of Astoria @nicknewt I'm so sorry, Nick. 💖Great gag in Mando is when he sets Grogu down on that rock, and then turns around and Grogu is instantly in a glowing tranceCongrats on the sex, sir https://t.co/IIx0TpQAzL
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaFascinating that as the US lurches into a new era of medieval minority-rule, Cuba, embattled as ever, is expanding… https://t.co/SqHxkvpn5o
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaBirdwatchers when you ask them their favorite type of animal: https://t.co/Q2g0qp0CNc
Retweeted by The Man of Astoria“Please applaud me for being stupid” https://t.co/v52Bdrc0XV
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaHad a dream about the Lorax, but in the dream, the Lorax spoke for the trees by letting out a deafening bellow, in… https://t.co/wBe3n5Vla6Hooligan AmesNo One: The first guy in the queue minding his own business: https://t.co/wgonFCCgEZ https://t.co/WNQTaCU0VO
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaThe Rock embracing the Fielder Method https://t.co/PpMdYfnhuv
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaNew Nick Cave Album Testing Well Among Skeletons Who Play Themselves Like Xylophones https://t.co/TK1AShgE87 https://t.co/34CLbvoGgi
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaSunday Night Sponch https://t.co/0FOfaj5exxDon't do my man like this https://t.co/ZqFnMcE1C8If Goofy shows up to your party and he's dressed like a normal man from the '90s or 2000s, you might be okay. If he… https://t.co/9o05UmLEZx
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaSCHWARZENEGGER: Remember I told you I’d kill you last? I lied. *drops* GOOFY: Yaaaaaahh-ho-ho-hooey!
Retweeted by The Man of Astoria @andyxnemo Me: I don't get it Mickey, you broke up with your wife because she was weird? Mickey: No, Joshy... she was fucking Goofy
Retweeted by The Man of Astoria @Le_Severine_Cox The reason Free Guy works for me is the same reason Deadpool works, because there's a story reason… https://t.co/zpSrKfQEcsSUFFER #NintendoSwitch https://t.co/PU58aFxA2f
Retweeted by The Man of Astoria @Joshy206 Lol that's a good call, the wheat to chaff ratio isn't always great so if I'm posting it, it's one I've sought out to reread
9/26
2022
BECAUSE i love great food https://t.co/vwt5cDBvWw
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaMAN: I'm depressed. My best years are behind me and nothing makes me laugh anymore. DOCTOR: I'm prescribing you 50… https://t.co/yiCle0ZpMI
Retweeted by The Man of Astoriafav for lou to walk the path of righteousness. rt for lou to lead a life of wickedness and misdeeds https://t.co/8DgCAtqRSw
Retweeted by The Man of Astoriaぺろぺろ。がんぼるぞい。 translation: Lickin. https://t.co/vcXVh9SoCJ
Retweeted by The Man of Astoria @Joshy206 This is another recent fave of mine because it's dead-on about how inquiries after technical failure go https://t.co/m5sVcN7sKs @froonding_loom I like that it builds it out a lot without ever being like "here's the time it went down to zero"Here's a good one https://t.co/0G7A9lTmiy @Le_Severine_Cox The Proposal is cute! The whole concept of his family being the rich family that runs Sitka, Alask… https://t.co/eZ99XsTW5Qhttps://t.co/QJErMPl32L https://t.co/ryBpzxF9uz
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaLOVE the split cape that looks like a hand https://t.co/CxPhBXGOqhSplinter Ray - Rayman Legends https://t.co/k6Hq9xEzPh
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaStriker Jones's "Biker Bones" skin - Bloons TD Battles 2 https://t.co/liPxfzG4Od
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaSentai Genji - Overwatch https://t.co/rAl0lrWqjE
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaYoshi's 8th color palette - Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS and Wii U https://t.co/cJcugd5Ck9
Retweeted by The Man of Astoria @megclark_txt He looks like you just shared a doc in the chat and he's skimming itIf your activism begins and ends with you doing long threads about your cause, rather than any real organization to… https://t.co/NQpZg04BFXThe thing where Odyssey enemies are all wearing hats, sometimes for no diagetic reason, is so good https://t.co/AWBbEFace1My Avatar take: I enjoyed paying a lot of money to see it on IMAX; it was like a fun theme park attraction. It was… https://t.co/rpuWw9qAWj
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaIf Ocean's Eleven was an accurate depiction of Vegas, George Clooney would spend the entire movie wearing an oversi… https://t.co/ZmOH4qZBhd
Retweeted by The Man of Astoria[2025 remake of silence of the lambs] Dr. Lector (The Rock): You know what you look like to me, with your good ba… https://t.co/m0egIMXXfl
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaWe carry EVERY Lupin III https://t.co/4jFjKKsEAt
Retweeted by The Man of Astoria @anacrusisnt Looking good MarleyThe mascot for JTB travel agency is JTon, a 3-year-old pig with intense emotions. https://t.co/9r0gwGqlWC
Retweeted by The Man of Astoria(while reading a fantasy novel) oh nice, a poem or song in the middle of some narrative. im absolutely going to read that.
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaActing like Avatar, a movie that inspired a Disney theme park, isn’t corporate IP is so funny https://t.co/BYGbynRgcm
Retweeted by The Man of Astoria
9/25
2022
The Bionicle characters during the Lego movie https://t.co/oZGPTLWcDl
Retweeted by The Man of Astoria[middle english period group chat] feudalismluvr: havin roast beef w/gravé tonite groats4days: lol gravé saxon_69:… https://t.co/jeQE70twh5
Retweeted by The Man of Astoriapeople in front of you in line love being like, “and what is a ‘bagel?’”
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaMy brother in Christ, she can't give out no information!! 💀💀💀 https://t.co/PQrG7Hub2iEvery crew has that one guy who's lookin' for Llewellyn Moss 😂😂😭😭White men love to shakily point a blunderbuss into the darkness and call out “who goes there??”
Retweeted by The Man of Astoriabruh I’m high as fuck rn https://t.co/p6TSf5A3BJ
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaFalling victim to my Shakespearean tragic flaw and ordering Papa John's pizzaWas just made aware of this great photoshoot with Bob Hoskins and Helen Mirren circa ~1980 https://t.co/h0mKsFEWkZ
Retweeted by The Man of Astoria @ByYourLogic He's like if they called up a guy from out of town and it was Gray Foxit’s so cool that the new york yankees have their own baseball team. if you think they’re just a hat company you’ve got it all wrong
Retweeted by The Man of Astoriacarti brought out Kanye and i know eric adams is gonna top that during his rolling loud set
Retweeted by The Man of Astoria @Sir__Duque @AutoAmes lol this is essentially the final punchline of the Pinky and the Brain where he invents a growth ray to fight GodzillaWish I could get a wikipedia wrapped like Spotify so I can see all the weird shit I've looked up in one place
Retweeted by The Man of Astoriaminiature subway https://t.co/Tr4VPWIUpx
Retweeted by The Man of Astoriahttps://t.co/jckD8BhGSe https://t.co/jfOzcUKFCf
Retweeted by The Man of Astoria @AutoAmes Did you ball in high school?they called him “bing” crosby because that’s the sound it made when he smacked his kids in the head
Retweeted by The Man of Astoria @Slammy_P @divorceddogmom It IS true @BrandyLJensen I’m so sorry, BrandyOh, to love what is lovely, and will not last!
Retweeted by The Man of Astoria @DieRobinsonDie The first cold open with him has some of the best joke timing in the whole showtfw he killed Captain Clown https://t.co/0rhjcCkSK9
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaIf I were Captain Ahab and the hearse not made by mortal hands that heralded my death ended up just being the whale… https://t.co/bRyhZI9cnV
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaWishbone adaptation of Blood MeridianWhen I put together a jaunty outfit and post a selfie https://t.co/EKnmX1GMJdThey are doing some incredible things over at Ben and Jerry’s https://t.co/Sn4eV1VfGeThe guy gave me an extra large for the price of a large 😎Might even grab a hot chocolate from the Dunkin I live above…It’s cool as hell out, it rulesA while back my old roommate texted me that the janitor at his office was fired because they found out he was using… https://t.co/PJfsImohrl
Retweeted by The Man of AstoriaPierogies https://t.co/W025vxqimE
9/24
2022
https://t.co/5IwGnd0Pqm
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9/23
2022

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