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Ruth @downwardjackass California, USA

Detroit➡️Sacramento. Everything I know about sex I learned from Prince and Blanche Devereaux.

750 Following   60 Followers   309 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/4/19


“Jack and Diane” is definitely my favorite song about sucking on chili dogs. @johnmellencamp #jackanddiane #80smusic
12/1
2020
What America needs right now is a drunk girl in the bathroom pep-talk.
11/13
2020
When it comes to naming my pets, there is absolutely no middle ground with me. It’s either “Charles Wellington Bann… https://t.co/zAoMU9QlrK
11/12
2020
FYI https://t.co/8FSJXOUBYi @ChrisEvans We don’t deserve them. @smithsara79 Pictures of my dogs? Don’t mind if I do! https://t.co/9eAFde4ZJA
10/17
2020
Will there be additional COVID precautions for the crew once they arrive? I noticed one or two the people seeing th… https://t.co/fBA04McmMY
10/14
2020
Okay. SNL should do a debate sketch and have Jeff Goldbum appear in a black bodysuit and wings and just...act like… https://t.co/N5ZcrVUNG6
10/8
2020
@JenKirkman No, that was my first thought too.Well if he didn’t get tested, he would have been just fine! Rookie mistake.
10/2
2020
@TimOBrien Welp. 😂
9/30
2020
And this was in, what, February 2016? Don’t you fucking dare back down, senate democrats. https://t.co/CchcHse0mORemember when republican senate leaders wouldn’t even consider a nomination from @BarackObama? Isn’t this a what’s… https://t.co/ojtq2wVfJb
9/19
2020
@SDMizzen Whooooole lotta people out here caring about you and rooting for you and sending so many positive vibes. ❤️❤️❤️
8/26
2020
Well-played, Traverse City. Well-played. #michigan #mittenstate #mittenstatelove #blm https://t.co/glB7EydY1A
8/23
2020
Our 13 1/2 year old persnickety boy Henry goes full crazy-eyes over Bark Box treats. https://t.co/lclvj0CJ66
8/22
2020
When Joe first met Brayden. https://t.co/upZq1ksEUV
Retweeted by Ruth
8/21
2020
Now America knows what it’s like when a Black mom is disappointed with you. It’s not fun.
Retweeted by Ruth
8/18
2020
@taylortomlinson I hate leaving the house under the best of circumstances, so my entire life has been leading up to this shit. @NILES100 Jack Donaghey @NILES100 Lenny & Squiggy @NILES100 Alex P. KeatonWe didn’t deserve him. 😭 https://t.co/kFGItEPdZX @polo_man404 Tetris.
7/19
2020
@AndyRichter I’m honestly shocked he hasn’t said it in front of a microphone.My kink is @Hozier singing to me while I assemble furniture. @brad_stay @birbigs Dude, same. I happened to catch a glimpse of my reflection out and about while wearing sunglass… https://t.co/sw4HK47Apu @birbigs Sunrise/Cirby @Safeway in Roseville, CA has the nicest woman wiping down carts. As you enter, she offers f… https://t.co/lLkI8JKkNh
7/17
2020
@dunkindonuts huuuuge disconnect between the COVID-19 precautions you’ve listed on your site and the actual restaur… https://t.co/OzQkezMZYs
7/16
2020
This is the content we all need right now. #repost #regram #tiktok #cornholio lili_hayes https://t.co/S4UTAbwmm2
4/29
2020
Love your planet. I mean, really love it. Happy Earth Day! #earthday #happyearthday🌎 #happyearthday #reposthttps://t.co/KOln7nn4rW
4/22
2020
David and Patrick are the new Nellie and Percival. There. I said it. #schittscreek #davidandpatrickhttps://t.co/tkJWI9Rejl
4/15
2020
@TargetNews @Target It isn't in effect at your Roseville, CA Douglas Blvd store. Very few team members were wearing… https://t.co/cXyIhuZPQ6 @Target Roseville, CA Douglas Blvd store not taking safety measures seriously. Very few team members were wearing m… https://t.co/ymLnGvx3VA
4/13
2020
If you don’t love me at my pudding-shirt, you don’t deserve me at my whiteboard schedule.
4/10
2020
@SDMizzen Damn it! It already is! Still true though.I was avoiding people before it was cool.
3/31
2020
@OhNoSheTwitnt @MelindaTaub That is a solid choice for sure.
3/30
2020
That day can’t come soon enough. https://t.co/tDVnQKySWY
3/28
2020
@amandadeibert It’s been a long time, so I don’t remember if it’s actually appropriate, but I watched Airplane when… https://t.co/GqsW1LVk47 @MaraWilson @amandadeibert This was my first thought too.
3/25
2020
Big ol' shout-out to wendycwelsher for not only striking out on her own and opening her own workout studio, but for… https://t.co/D2XIs5BPbiMmmmmatzo ball soup. Medicine for the soul. * * * * #shelterinplace #stayinghome #stayinghealthy #stayhomehttps://t.co/xWp8iUMgpX
3/24
2020
When you’re too dumb for survival instincts so you’re taking everyone down with you. #COVIDIOTS https://t.co/Cqw40Vpt4dIf COVID-19 doesn’t get us, a rage stroke probably will. https://t.co/8jYcdOXt5GI think this is worth mentioning again. #presidentshitstain https://t.co/7Og4iMIILQhttps://t.co/Ddbb76fXCM
Retweeted by Ruth
3/23
2020
Drinking alone FOR MY HEALTH!
3/17
2020
Rewatching @SchittsCreek for about the 80 billionth time and it occurs to me how much I love the Nellie/Percival vi… https://t.co/JKoUnjGAvz
2/13
2020
Watching @NASA as Expedition 61 crewmates make their way home. As a daily viewer of the live stream, I’ve enjoyed w… https://t.co/R5IudR2u2c
2/6
2020
Frecklenose von Dickish https://t.co/qtE7br2m3d
1/30
2020
“Cut me, Mick.” https://t.co/EKX6WmCPPn
1/20
2020
Greatest of All Time, indeed. #repost #regram #jeopardy #fart #im12yearsold @DougBenson jeopardy https://t.co/opJjdXmDCP
1/16
2020
Ain’t no humblebragging like New Year’s Day humblebragging on the socials. If my heart had cockles, they’d be warmed.
1/1
2019
Merry everything!
12/25
2019
Mandalorian sure does scratch that Firefly itch, doesn’t it?
11/29
2019
I’ve never found any rings, but I turn into Bilbo Baggins when someone knocks on my door unexpectedly.
11/28
2019
While poor Marc was at the dentist, I took a nice, relaxing scenic walk. — at Humbug Willow Creek Trail https://t.co/crfME2xV8q
11/22
2019
@BBW_BFF Thank you for this. I honestly cannot stop laughing at how appropriate this photo is.me seeing Idris Elba's weird CGI cat body in the new CATS trailer https://t.co/XTHZoCadYG
Retweeted by Ruth @KarenKilgariff This is an old tweet but I happened upon it when googling “Maureen Maher” and “jacket”. I hope she… https://t.co/4QjlUaEgxA3/3: And Fuck everyone else for only accepting Sandy when she put on her tight pants and started smoking. Moral of… https://t.co/ykWnMpF4wr2/3: Grease is completely unwatchable as an adult. Fuck Rizzo, Sandy didn’t want to come to your dumb sleepover in… https://t.co/BBg11sogEi1/3: Random thoughts: When I was a kid, the only movies I owned were Grease and Terminator. I used to go down to th… https://t.co/IOkVZaeeERFeel-good sports movies tickle the same part of the brain as Hallmark holiday movies.
11/19
2019
I know the Leonids are peaking tonight around midnight but I just saw a huge, orange meteor streak across the sky a… https://t.co/VVQ5rJ1417
11/17
2019
Michigan peeps. Just look at this face. ❤️ https://t.co/8HrpQbBEzv
11/16
2019
These girls got adopted by a great family and I am so happy! https://t.co/6OP6uNvFPY
11/13
2019
I woke up to a mash-up in my head of the Fat Albert theme song (“na-na-na gonna have a good time...”) with the “na-… https://t.co/Tb7c54vOCp
11/6
2019
Five years ago, Matilda age 2 and Henry age 7, and they were playing like this just a few minutes ago! https://t.co/IRdZjvPpvI
11/2
2019
Michigan friends and family: Don’t worry, we aren’t on fire! — feeling safe
10/27
2019
Northern CA people! Just putting the word out on two dogs that need your help! Their dad died in February of liver… https://t.co/SnJ367B9HJ
10/26
2019
At this point, I’m just assuming Subaru has just decided to target me directly. https://t.co/LcvTk0iBai
10/23
2019
If you know and love someone in a wheelchair, here’s a good idea. I cannot believe this needs to be a thing, but he… https://t.co/UNBXqki8oK
10/15
2019
I think we all know the real story behind the new #Joker movie. #30Rock #LizLemon #GoodGodLemon #TinaFey https://t.co/cYOZeb4u13
10/2
2019
Vet tech funsies. https://t.co/1DWbb67f8q
9/28
2019
In case you’re wondering what kind of mother I’d be... https://t.co/8fnBaIY23G🖤 https://t.co/t3WRGsIvIK
9/25
2019
Homicide Hunter is in its last season. Is it too soon to talk about potential projects for @LtJoeKenda? How about n… https://t.co/atxEbE0gAq
9/9
2019
Me saying goodnight to my dogs: Good night my sweet baby angel. Mama loves you sooo much. Me saying goodnight to my… https://t.co/IRAzvr77qs
Retweeted by Ruth
8/29
2019
What the fuck did I just watch? https://t.co/ISkJW82MKN @ffrankieadams Both are beautiful faces!
8/27
2019
@MatthewPerry There’s a reason sleep deprivation is used as torture. It’s one of the worst feelings ever. @thecherness Jaws. I watch it every few months to this day. https://t.co/kRS66WZLRIRBG recovers from surgery quicker than I recover from seeing RBG trending
Retweeted by RuthDonald Trump looks like a marshmallow got a sunburn and then someone put it in a trash can for thousands of years a… https://t.co/wmDH6ibCCD
Retweeted by RuthI could learn new things and improve myself, but instead, I’ll think about how the doctor from The Meg kind of look… https://t.co/aqLByQhLp4
8/26
2019
@td_shields @ambermruffin Agreed.I’m “getting the theme song to Hong Kong Phooey stuck in my head” years old.
8/25
2019
If a guest on Conan seems like they *get* Conan and Andy’s humor, and genuinely laugh, I automatically like them.… https://t.co/pGelAV9C1C
8/20
2019
#MindhunterSeason2 on @netflix is incredibly bingeworthy and so good! Every actor is absolutely nailing it on this… https://t.co/AZAjAXoBFU
8/18
2019
I put my pants on one leg at a time just like everyone else. Then, when all ten legs are in the pants, I take the s… https://t.co/ImcL7zCQi5
Retweeted by Ruth @AC360 @andersoncooper I get this. When I experience loss, I’m kind of attached to that profound pain you feel in t… https://t.co/NGRcIYnNx3
8/17
2019
@billyeichner @Equinox I adore you. ❤️🌈 @junejuly12 @jjhartinger This is exactly my sense of justice.
8/8
2019
@malkatz Any character from Dukes of Hazzard except Cooter. He’s actually quite progressive. @Rschooley @AndyRichter @malkatz https://t.co/5vGeybqVmW @malkatz Any character portrayed by Tim Allen.
7/22
2019
This is actually true. @realDonaldTrump doesn’t have bones but a system of pulleys and chains made of lye soap, app… https://t.co/MhHp6rWxfZ @AndyRichter Just today, I was behind a woman with an ass-ton of groceries who used the checkout line to also excha… https://t.co/PPoJSo1DJb
7/16
2019

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