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Marketing Scientist at Moz ( Mad Hatter of MozCast ( The slow inhale is my jam.

1,490 Following   66,235 Followers   98,288 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/10/08

Good food for thought (and tough decisions) -- Marketing in a Recession: Budget Cuts - The Scalpel vs The Sledgeham… googled to find the revenue of a company and get this featured snippet. This company is truly jingling in all th…
Retweeted by Dr. Pete Meyers @marktraphagen @RyanJones My wife's laptop died and I almost burned out my desktop's power supply. Is tech catching the virus, too? :(2020 is the perfect year to mess with the timeline, because the Time Police ain't coming near this shit. @ChuckWendig Time Police ain't coming near 2020. @deapoirierbooks ... and, sorry, this is in the realm of laughing to keep from crying. I'm sure that poster equates… @deapoirierbooks Seriously, are the dishes breeding in the sink? @deapoirierbooks New poster idea: "Husbands, do some fucking dishes!" @maggiekb1 My 9-yo and 7-yo are downstairs, somehow being quiet, and I'm just gonna stay in my office as long as I… @maggiekb1 If no one is screaming, don't open the door. @HoarseWisperer @jmspool In part 2, the cat goes back and spitefully knocks every cork down, one by one.
@Nezumi_Youjo Ugh -- sorry, that really sucks :( I have a form of heart failure, so definitely understand the fear… @Nezumi_Youjo Not sure what you have available, but just FYI that some Walgreens and CVS have drive-throughs for th…
We have the kids doing Scratch coding and the next thing I know, the 7 yo has recorded a fart sound and programmed…
Retweeted by Dr. Pete Meyers @amyguth We were supposed to be spending a week in the national parks right now :( @RyanJones @AdamSinger They also pursue financials past a certain level because apparently some folks take out mult… @RyanJones @AdamSinger Nope. We put well over that down and still jumped through hoops. It's a combo of things, par… @trishydish @travisakers I would absolutely cheer for the Tostito Eagles. @travisakers Butter Chicken Jayhawks? @MykeCole Advice to young eaters: Never eat fish. Terrible idea. Every few years, I get weak and decide to eat sush…, Jr. is a Prospertarian con-man whose only god is money -- Liberty University Brings Back Its Students, and… @drmag00 Just don't let them talk you into Total Drama Island.
@NedelkoDan My point was simply that their numbers are even worse when you consider the higher per capita toll and… @NedelkoDan I'm expressing dismay at the scope of something awful. Not really the time for snark or sarcasm. Also,… funny thing I am hearing from friends – lots of minor injuries and stumbles and bumps. When this happens to me I…
Retweeted by Dr. Pete Meyers @xeni I notice this when I'm meditating regularly and when (years ago) I did Tai Chi -- I got in significantly less "random" accidents. @ben_gc Then, I lost the kids, and built a whole new house/mine, and was trying to create ridiculous ways they could find me. @ben_gc Unfortunately, we started on a chain of islands, and it took us a ridiculous amount of time (and houses) to find sheep. @daver On Realms, I lost the kids for 3 days and finally had to create a complicated system of stone arrows. @gr82live Roomba can barely find its home. @JustDelRio I hope you're wrong, but I doubt you are.How I'm spending self-isolation ...,000 dead in Italy out of a population that's less than 1/5 of ours :(Cosplayers: real actual heroes.
Retweeted by Dr. Pete Meyers @mjp39 2020: Pot is legal, but you can get arrested for trying to buy three rolls of toilet paper.
TIL you can manage multiple Twitter accounts in the desktop UI -- wish I had looked that up sooner --'ll probably regret this, but if you want to follow the exploits of my 9-yo and 7-yo teaching me Minecraft, I've c… @ChuckWendig Do even the most selfish people not understand that, if doctors and nurses die, the rest of us die, too? @migraine_motors @NinjitsuPrincss Soup and stew freezes pretty well, too. @longwall26 Jasonostradamus @drmag00 On the bright side, a bit of torrential downpour is probably good for de-virusing some stuff. @kennfusion I have a 9-yo and 7-yo, and I know exactly how you feel :( just reminded me that, if there's a tornado, we can't go to a tornado shelter, because coro… @petervz I hope it's a wake-up call to take things more seriously, much like I hope we have one soon. Too much deni…
@DigitalSamIAm @drmag00 I see very, very few of #2 in Congress right now. Rank-and-file Republicans? Sure. Where it counts? No.Not that he actually has the legal authority to just ignore key provisions of the bill because he wants to, but he'll certainly try.Dems fought for oversight of the spending in this bill and Trump is going to just ignore it. The party of "fiscal r… @shortthorts @drmag00 I'm not throwing stones at anyone. I'm terrified for us and the UK. My hope that Johnson wake… @RonellSmith @gr82live Accurate. @deadmoneykills I know there are pros and cons, but in a partisan environment, people also use the in-person vote t… @darth_na LOL -- I can't even log into the App Store half the time.This isn't a great headline, @BBCNews: "Coronavirus: UK brings in strict curbs on life to fight virus" -- maybe add "daily" to "life"?How is it 2020 and Congress can't vote remotely?Boris Johnson tested positive. Maybe he'll wake up now. @ambermac Gas, gas, everywhere, nor any place to drive.New Days of the Week. Someday 🙄 Discombobuday 😗 Confuseday 😒 Weirdday 🙃 Blursday 😕 Fuddleday 🤔 Chatterday 😧
Retweeted by Dr. Pete MeyersI swear my motivation and good ideas always seem to arrive when I have the least time and energy, and they arrive a… @amyguth Waiting for a "I hope you don't have coronavirus!" subject line to pitch me a meeting while they're in my area.
@PhilipKushmaro @prsarahevans I like how this tweet just keeps popping up out of context. Not that it ever had any context.It would get really expensive if real life were like Minecraft and I had to build an entirely new house every time I got lost. @ashleymcnamara My kids are teaching me Minecraft during the pandemic, and it takes 100 years to do anything. By th… @RichTatum In my brain? Yes, that would be helpful.Naturally, in the middle of finishing a project in a manic phase, I came up with a new project, and basically could… @dr_pete Man I went to bed at 5am woke up at 8:11am with my 2 year old trying to plug in my phone's USB in my ear...
Retweeted by Dr. Pete MeyersI like to give all of my work projects 2-3 letter codes and then promptly forget what those codes mean.(via their announcement email -- I am not on a plane)American Airlines is apparently helping us by "relaxing" their seating policy and not giving us any food. Hey, yeah… @MichaelStebbins So far, so good -- not that I'm much more awake now. @PixelChefs I feel for you, my friend, but I have to admit I laughed a bit before I felt bad :)Couldn't sleep, woke up at 5am, wrote code for 2-1/2 hours. Will pay for this later, I'm sure. @longwall26 Busy writing my "Happy Pandemic!" cards now. @jroakes @Matkacita "Sweet Crumbly Fuckbiscuits: 10 Things The Pandemic Taught Me About Making Erotic Baked Goods"
@DockweilerTMD Oh, no -- I don't disrespect the Cheddar Bay. @IanLurie Both.I read two things Trump said today back-to-back with writing some code that worked spectacularly well and my brain just shorted out. @drmag00 It's about like three things, both positive and negative. @SumoFondue I'm not sure I want to see that product page.Sweet Crumbly Fuckbiscuits. @longwall26 We need new euphemisms. @scottkleinberg Aren't we all isolated in our houses wondering when life will return to normal? He probably objects… has changed our lives. In a scenario when education and workforce are experiencing some of the biggest cha…
Retweeted by Dr. Pete Meyers @SumoFondue @Moz I think it's mostly about making sure people don't do anything self-destructive right now.I had my doubts about our current/new Governor, but Pritzker has really shown himself to be a leader during this crisis, IMO. @_sebastiansimon That's the million-dollar question :( Normally, I'd encourage people to focus on missed opportunit… "In a past life, I was a poochie [a puppy dog] and I was in a wildfire and Queen Elizabeth saved me." Ok ... @maggiekb1 Pre-pandemic, I bought a cashmere hoodie, and now it seems like an act of genius. @kenjansen The psychology of this is funny, because eventually even people who might like this flavor are like "Hey… @armondhammer Yeah, it's not my thing, but I suspect that's mostly generational. The kids would rather play than wa… @YoungbloodJoe I did that two years ago or so, and honestly it was cathartic. Sometimes the "someday" projects are just baggage. @armondhammer My kids have been watching one of their uncles play games on Twitch on the weekend, which has been ki… @AnastasiaVitsky @drmag00 Haha -- no. That was his suggestion.I'm tempted to make a Twitter account for just the quarantine experience of the kids teaching me how to play Minecraft.7-yo just informed me that you can get up and down high cliffs in Minecraft by spilling a bucket of water and swimm… @saffyre9 I hear you :( We're all trying to adapt as quickly as possible, while having even less time and energy th… @egabbert I think last night was the first night when some of the reality of this and how long it could last sunk i… @saffyre9 Yeah, the biggest challenge right now is no customers, and I wish I had a good answer to that :( @saffyre9 @rankmathseo I still work with a client in that space. Their entire site is engineered around in-person e… @jefflouella Oh, ugh. Yeah, we haven't opened it up to anyone yet. Probably will do that one by one with school friends. @JoeLRobb @Moz *Joe, driving off with 400 rolls of Charmin* "Sorry, I'm gonna need this for my research!" @TheSteve_Slater Hit me up if you need help vetting/tracking the merger.