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jon drake @DrakeGatsby Coastal Elite

Stay blessed, playboy

1,997 Following   86,053 Followers   94,391 Tweets

Joined Twitter 7/25/18

Today’s meme painting: inauguration day Bernie
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am i happy that joe biden is president? not rly. but am i happy that a bunch of Q supporters are pissing and shitti…
Retweeted by jon drake @jazz_inmypants Aha u won’t 🙈me after the 10th zoom meeting of the day
Retweeted by jon drakeWhat a beautiful moment. My two year old saw just joe Biden on the tv and said “mommy that’s the man who levitates…
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Retweeted by jon drakewe idolize abraham lincoln because of his fancy tophat, but remember that the hat was just an accessory and not act…
Retweeted by jon drakemy review of the music today: -lady gaga: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️, brilliant -j lo: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️, unreal -garth brooks: ⭐️, who…
Retweeted by jon drakeSingin along to Amazing Grace with Garth Brooks at home! :)
Retweeted by jon drakeLady Gaga looks so good at the inaugration😍😍
Retweeted by jon draketwo of my kids have never known an america without trump as president. they don’t know what decency looks like. the…
Retweeted by jon drake @welshowlmusic I stand by itNew president just droppedThe best part of washing dishes is jerking off the silverware
Retweeted by jon drakeI get it, man.
Retweeted by jon drakeSad to announce that I did not receive a presidential pardon for my crime of having an absolutely thick dump truck of an ass
Retweeted by jon drakei pull my last can of malarkey out of the fridge, but just as i'm about to pull the tab and take a sip i notice it; 𝙱𝙴𝚂𝚃 𝙱𝙴𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙴 𝙹𝙰𝙽 𝟸0 𝟸0𝟸𝟷
Retweeted by jon drake @ronnui_ Covfefe 😂It's a good day for everyone but I know all the people who called him drumpf and cheeto in chief are going absolutely ape today
Retweeted by jon drake @rudy_betrayed He has a point about your followers hating you thoif you attend the sleepover saturday night you’ll have to come to church with us sunday morning
Retweeted by jon drakethank you donald trump sir. you’ll always be PRESIDENT soft wet bitch to me
Retweeted by jon drakedamn dude, congrats on building 20% of a fence or whatever
Retweeted by jon drake @nathanallebach us history is gonna be tough in the future with questions like “who did donald trump pardon on his last day?” an…
Retweeted by jon drake @abernothing Thank you @2Saddington Angry cat all my zoom calls today, i’m gonna say “GOOD morning” instead of “good morning” and everyone is gonna know what it means
Retweeted by jon drakehate to break it to u but there's no way trump is going to jail. it's not like he got caught with an eighth of weed
Retweeted by jon drakeIf your job tries to fire you just tell them “now is a time for unity” and see if they are real Patriots™️ @sarahcpr Can @tropicanapussy have your check mark please @shame_flame Ok portmanteaus are always welcomeDudes who thought measuring time in “Scaramucci’s” was the height of comedy looking for their new purpose in life @PallaviGunalan Needed thisLook, a lot of people are going to say things today like “Donald Trump was the worst president ever” and “He’s a bi… @Swan_Corleone2 @MNateShyamalan @English_Channel @RiotGrlErin @funflaps @wildethingy @TheWinegasm @CAshmanActor @pilau When does Netflix 2 come out hahahahahahahahahaha2021 phrases to ban: - this is the new normal - might get out of bed today - I finished Netflix haha - wearing a mask violates my rights
Retweeted by jon drake @RegaMyEgga @pilau I really did love that show @pilau Need more of this energyMe getting ready to add a “Controversies” section to Randy Rainbow’s Wikipedia’s always like “what the fuck are you doing here” but no one ever asks how the fuck I am doing here
Retweeted by jon drakeWe all make fun of the people who clap when the plane lands but people also get mad if I boo when the plane lands so make up your minds @ilyseh Can @tropicanapussy have your check mark please @tomiahonen Can @tropicanapussy have your check mark please @PleaseBeGneiss @abernothing @doinkpatrol 👁 @TheHyyyype Yesssss @TheHyyyype Hope they give him a hamberder on the way out 😂 or at least a cup of covfefe! 🤣 (save some for tomorrow Jon)pardon everyone in prison for possession of marijuana and replace them with anyone who says “that’s the tweet”
Retweeted by jon drakeAdding “but idk tho” to your advice in case you mess their life up
Retweeted by jon drakeTitanic: *sinking* that one guy who fucking knew this would happen: I fucking knew this would happen
Retweeted by jon drakeme: *throws beer at stage* boooo, just play the hits chuck e cheese manager: sir
Retweeted by jon drakeThe way they’re rolling out the covid vaccine in LA we’re finally going to know actors’ real ages
Retweeted by jon drakedudes who gatekeep their hobbies are 100% certified fucking weirdos. meeting someone who is just getting into somet…
Retweeted by jon drakei made a comic
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I just punched some dude and it sounded nothing like it does in the movies, what else is Hollywood lying about
Retweeted by jon drakeIf you showed a Victorian child the Epic Meal Time YouTube channel they would immediately diedr: what happened here me: i got bit by a horse when I tried to put a birthday hat on him dr: why me: wasn’t his birthday I guess
Retweeted by jon drakewow she was in a lot of fights
Retweeted by jon draketeacher: your kid was in a fight me: damn what are you gonna do? teacher: well that’s why you’re here me: [nerv…
Retweeted by jon drakeMe: You know that scene in Lord of the Rings where Legolas slides down the stairs at Helm's Deep on a shield, shoot…
Retweeted by jon drakeWhen you go to look somebody up on Wikipedia and there’s a section labeled “controversies”
Retweeted by jon drakeOk now that it's been four years, I think its time to take a look back and contemplate what happened and how that p…
Retweeted by jon drake @LightningSlim1 @MNateShyamalan Big same @miss_priss12345 Wendy Williams is still somehow the final villain of that list?saying “we should see other people” -confusing -what does it mean -i literally see other people every day saying…
Retweeted by jon drake*googling ways to lower my cholesterol* Article: Eat these foods and avoid those foods Me: Ok cool I love these f…
Retweeted by jon drake @PleaseBeGneiss Chapstick: Dont eat it Also Chapstick: Now it tastes like key lime piebabe are you okay? You've barely touched your Transformers Snowballimus Optimus Prime Sno Balls
Retweeted by jon drakeif chapstick no food why do i eat it
Retweeted by jon drakeimagine falling in love with someone and then finding out they set their alarm six times in the morning
Retweeted by jon drakeBREAKING: Trump Pardons 'Rock Boy,' the Boy Who Throws Rocks at People.
Retweeted by jon drakeWhen you go to look somebody up on Wikipedia and there’s a section labeled “controversies” KILLING THESE BEAUTIFUL CREATURES TO MAKE PIANDOS
Retweeted by jon drakeif you haven’t used this pandemic to perfect a new skill, hustle, or art, then you’ve wasted it. for instance, i ha…
Retweeted by jon drake[conservatives] when we said unify we meant you with us lol we do not reciprocate god no
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Retweeted by jon drakemy 3 year old just announced that "all the decorations are inside the moon." when i asked what decorations, he said…
Retweeted by jon drakejust discovered a new universal new yorker caption
Retweeted by jon drakeSometimes you meet a vegetarian that's like "my favorite food is a kale wrap" and sometimes you meet a vegetarian t…
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Retweeted by jon drakemy nudist neighbours are moving away and selling everything and I'm thinking the washer and dryer will be worth a look
Retweeted by jon drake[first day as a barista] ME: large coffee ready for a *squints to read* nice hole NICHOLE: oh come on
Retweeted by jon drakeThe fable of the tortoise and the hare teaches us the important lesson that it’s bad strategy to take a nap during a raceme: HEY WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO ? my nana: ᵍᵉᵒʳᵍᵉ ᶦˢ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘˀ me: NO NANA UNCLE GEORGE HAS BEEN DEAD FOR 34 YEARS
Retweeted by jon drake @maxoupial Never failsYou’ll go to bed while the group chat is named like “Friends 🙂” and wake up to “Cum Socks” @lincnotfound Really weird that the t. Rex had a British accent @lincnotfound So weird that the T. rex had a British accent @jurfinkel When he said that I lost itBest line @Abeblabeschmabe WhoaCowardly pizza
Writing my film studies thesis about how it was reasonable for Robert DeNiro’s character in “Casino” to want an equ… of the best ways to celebrate MLK Day is to remember the feds killed him and to remind other people of that fact
Retweeted by jon drake @rudy_betrayed Come on man you deserve at least 36,000a spinoff of young sheldon called old sheldon where he dies immediately
Retweeted by jon drakeIf you follow me you are going on my taxes as a dependent those are the rules @SukiTemporarily 86,000 friends 🤗 4 would contact me“I’ll give you something to cry about.” Please don’t everything makes me cry already.
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