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Columnist: @DefectorMedia, @GENMag. Co-host of @DistractPod. Author of Point B, out now. Defund the police. https://t.co/TR9iNqS4dN?amp=1

450 Following   179,776 Followers   20,964 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/11/08


Should add: There have been verrrrrryyy informal discussions of this among owners. https://t.co/yQISS4qLZy
Retweeted by Drew MagaryIf I’m lucky I’ll get to sue someone too! MAYBE EVEN DAN SNYDERThis decade really is just gonna be nothing but lawsuits https://t.co/JajXPxglSisubscribed early to @DefectorMedia so I wouldn’t miss the ironclad guaranteed 2020 presidential election prediction… https://t.co/7RNQ3njWnr
Retweeted by Drew Magary @emmabaccellieri They’re anonymous whistleblowersTakes demand VIGOR and so I must conserve mine, like precious oilsI took a nap. I did this specifically to CONSERVE MY ENERGY for you, the https://t.co/3wvUxcwcAJ subscriberIn truth, a mature man who uses hair oil, unless medicinally, that man has probably got a quoggy spot in him somewhere.
Retweeted by Drew Magary(martin scorcese movie joe pesci voiceover) fartin's the easy part. now, shittin'... that's a whole 'nother story.
Retweeted by Drew Magary(A tool slips while I’m in the middle of using it) FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCKING HOT WHITE FUCK I WILL OBLITERATE THE WORLD WITH MY FURY @sifutweety TrulyI don’t know these fucking space alien signals you’re giving me alarm; either you need a new 9-volt or we need to evacuate this placeIt’s not just the smoke alarm beeping it’s that it assumes I know what the fuck it’s trying to tell me when it does @VinceMancini Honestly they’re kinda convincing me I got it wrongLotta 80s metal songs are like hello little girl now didn’t your parents tell you not to talk to strangers BECAUSE IT ME A GROPER🎶 And while she watches I can never be free Such good photography! 🎶I’m asking if of course because I plan on breaking into your house and taking all your flatwareWhen you sleep are your arms over the covers or underin the course of trying to answer weird questions from my son I have learned about Félicette, the tuxedo cat the Fr… https://t.co/JvBcFoVx4O
Retweeted by Drew MagaryI was wondering about these people! https://t.co/7n9H8jtED2The bar across the street has a band playing right now that’s trying to cover “Don’t Stop Believin’” and the lead s… https://t.co/wocwvczmHv
Retweeted by Drew Magary
8/8
2020
THAT’S RIGHT SIZZLE CHEST https://t.co/mF3hPyWWPNAnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddd off we go https://t.co/khD0lOBeHkWe're live! Come join us for Friday night trivia. Correct answers not guaranteed: https://t.co/Ck7gCvRvGN
Retweeted by Drew MagaryIf I text u and u respond by calling me back it means u want me dead
Retweeted by Drew MagaryIN ONE HOUR, me and some @DefectorMedia evildoers will be entering the trivia octagon. You're invited to our Twitch… https://t.co/BNesW9ASz5Uproxx Food Roast Battle! Vegetarian entrees, with guest judge @drewmagary https://t.co/4MJxiwawFY
Retweeted by Drew MagaryFor @VinceMancini and the Uproxx crew, I got to play socially distant FOOD JUDGE. Join me as I grade on presentatio… https://t.co/dfxth1s7keIf you subscribe to the Accomplice tier at https://t.co/EaW2G1473Z, we will name a pet after you. Not one of ours—t… https://t.co/0Cd8geO7y2
Retweeted by Drew Magary @zach_barnett Fuck you.I believe poker chips should be different sizes. Like the $1,000 ones should be as big as dinner plates.Also while you will have to wait until September for the website, the podcast I'm doing with @drewmagary and… https://t.co/V6AEWWOe3N
Retweeted by Drew Magary"It was the best job I'd ever had, working with this specific group, and I just wanted another opportunity to do th… https://t.co/Abbfyn4ctXWhat if the Olympics were gone for good? A new story by @DvoraMeyers explores the once-unthinkable.… https://t.co/6VbDz7TmWz
Retweeted by Drew MagaryThere's a better chance this dude spends a few months oafishly running for president than facing a minute of real a… https://t.co/uQkXfaScLQ
Retweeted by Drew Magaryhttps://t.co/n9SbuNW3wk
Retweeted by Drew Magary @aaronbeardap They don’t!I have been fighting the urge to spam this every day, but we're doing a website and I promise we are going to do ou… https://t.co/vSydhmpA9o
Retweeted by Drew MagaryWhile I’m spewing movies takes... It doesn’t have to be as Bond, I just wanna see Tom Hardy in a movie where he ki… https://t.co/zVzvSvZluWArchie Bradley flipping off the Astros after Nick Ahmed home run. https://t.co/zdM1H5pgoy
Retweeted by Drew MagaryI don’t re-watch Sexy Beast enough @laurawags @theisen95 Actually that’s just what a trifle is and it’s DELICIOUSI accidentally called “Frog and Toad” “Frog and Todd” and I don’t think my kids have stopped laughing. FROG AND TODD! 😂😂😂
Retweeted by Drew Magary @laurawags @theisen95 Hear me out: cake SALADUltra Autopsy Marathon, you say... WHAT BETTER TIME @RBTheAlum Yeah fuck them @_NickRogers_ Is it ever Nick, is it everA desperate Jim Carrey gonna play Rick Carlisle in the bubble league movie @barry Wait are you telling me that this whole it has NOT been a reference to some silent movie actor I’d never heard ofShit I’ll even pay video game prices for first run movies at home. I live for the ACTIONWell actually Nazi players are undervalued in the market and virtually all of them have a surprisingly robust WAR f… https://t.co/2d9aQLj6qM
8/7
2020
Hi this dude on 90 day fiancé looks like Luka Doncic if he hosted a podcast about anime that he jacks off to https://t.co/wBgvptGVNH
Retweeted by Drew Magary @AriA1exander I would tooI wanna see the Bond movie. Now. I’ll pay the goddamn $30 for it. @jaywillis @david_j_roth “I didn’t cancel my season tickets because that would have meant I couldn’t BURN them Dann… https://t.co/cpz1KtjlmLThe beefy golfer looks like if Tom Hardy went way too Method in a shitty movieWatching the beefy golfer @jaywillis @david_j_roth Because lemme tell you about that free love protesthumper John Roberts... @ianhakes @mattufford Ufford is a Seahawks fan and can BURN IN HELLAccording to @drewmagary there's only one director who could handle the task of bringing the Trump presidency to mo… https://t.co/3Lm5onTswr
Retweeted by Drew MagaryFourteen years ago I co-founded another sports website. That one was pretty fun. I think we can pull off another one what do you sayTo all the subscribers to https://t.co/3wvUxcwcAJ thus far, I say to you, truly, THAT’S GREAT FUCKING HUSTLE @ZODIAC_MF The tagline rolls right off the tongue"DUDE WHAT THE FUCK YOU FORGOT TO PUT GLEASON IN THE POSTER!" "...GIVE ME TWO MINUTES" https://t.co/7MdBUdPZR2
Retweeted by Drew MagaryWhen the Heat don’t wear the Vice jerseys it’s such a wasteWe did one! https://t.co/thUMnVcNzq https://t.co/rwOCnBpLOABecause I look just that good https://t.co/f4nLokvNOyME: I’m such a Hufflepuff. JUDGE: You’re supposed to say “guilty” or “not guilty”
Retweeted by Drew Magary @drewmagary @bubbaprog A modest candidate with modest goals
Retweeted by Drew MagaryFolks you are one week away from the NUT-TINGLING DEBUT of The Distraction podcast, starring me and @david_j_roth b… https://t.co/YVR60mXpVbJust walk through the team's disinfection metal detectors and that spelling'll fix itself https://t.co/OZXRh1sg69 @ProfDudeguy Or was I?!Pop culture depictions of Trump are always terrible because they try to get him right. THEY DON'T FUCKING HAVE TO.… https://t.co/Q2Hd446cu9 @bubbaprog Joe Biden is gonna drain the oceans?https://t.co/4qIL10OlJW https://t.co/F5kGHILTNF
Retweeted by Drew Magary @drewmagary The Sabres finished 13th just in time for expanded 12--team conference playoff! The Bills are THE AFC E… https://t.co/SQCgRnycmf
Retweeted by Drew MagaryThe Streets over more manager chat is clearly the future https://t.co/fNrua3jhFV
Retweeted by Drew MagarySend me proof of subscription, and I will send you a photo of one random object from around my house. Could be ~ a… https://t.co/YOtehxrN7R
Retweeted by Drew Magary @RyanReynolds It is NOT!Putting together the Why Your Team Sucks previews for https://t.co/3wvUxcwcAJ and I can't say I'm enjoying having t… https://t.co/ZHfnsJk62Jhahaha come on https://t.co/SBkujb09Th
Retweeted by Drew MagaryHear me out: A Scorsese Trump movie. IT COULD WORK! MAYBE! https://t.co/em3AP0OU8DAh I see I've been bailed out in advance. https://t.co/DKY1H5s78TToday is as good a day as any for Movie Knower Twitter to want me murdered. https://t.co/em3AP0OU8DBehind that viral photo of a high school hallway in GA: Teachers say staff tested positive after going to work wit… https://t.co/Fpvv1MYI3H
Retweeted by Drew Magary🎶 It's too late to change events It's time to face the consequence For delivering the proof In the policy of truth… https://t.co/XgkQWrvuXu @Stewdabaker2013 That’s The Motherload @ScottBiggs That’s fucking sweet @drewmagary I got really drunk during a Mastodon show about ten years ago, and the visuals were so intense I almost barfed
Retweeted by Drew MagaryLike why would I do anything except stare at this on a loop for 57 straight hours https://t.co/YuFCe0veWxMastodon are the reigning kings of metal art to stare atHello what’s this https://t.co/loIDKUIfagSomeone will say “whoa” to this earnestly https://t.co/i04Naffjxa https://t.co/Ztf6gTxqrBRemember the pee tape? Remember when you thought that might actually make a differenceFor old time’s sake, let’s guess pee tape https://t.co/B7zxWUXXvV
8/6
2020
Who’s this Alex Caruso is his job to buy alcohol for all the underaged Lakers @barry My ass you can’t get cancelled for this bullshitLandon White was a kicker for Eastern Kentucky. He quit the team because the coaches “do not care about player safe… https://t.co/YqmaDEClxv
Retweeted by Drew Magary(In Billy Elliot’s dad’s voice) Farfalle?! @chrisweitz Thank you sir. Please cast Nicholas Hoult
8/5
2020

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