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TV Writer (The Witcher, The Vampire Diaries), cat content, an assortment of truly terrible tweets. Homosexual idiot.

957 Following   14,838 Followers   33,934 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/4/11

@bergopolis Very true! @TaylorM5 I’m a ride or die Scenes from an Italian Restaurant stan @sunshinebean I LOVE that albumPiano Man is not only the worst Billy Joel song it’s also just a bad songIf I mention how much I love Billy Joel and you say “oh yeah I love Piano Man” you and me are not the same
@Home_Halfway Osteria la Buca!!It’s Drag Race season 12 because that’s how old all these queens were when they watched season 11Oh shit...
Retweeted by Matthew D'Ambrosio™️ @justinkirkland4 David vs Goliath! My bf was showing the best seasons so I’d know who to look out for in the new season @justinkirkland4 I gotta catch up before Winners at War!One of the best parts of Survivor are when you get a challenge that involves multiple balls and you get to hear Jef… @chrisgeidner @jlove1982 omg it’s so CUTeHard to believe that the BIGGER THAN BEFORE egg was 100 years ago but here we all are still in the simulation @chrisgeidner I caught a maxed out three star tepig this week from my couch! @chrisgeidner Holy shit!!F R I D A Y @iamlaurenp JeeeeesusGonna go out on a limb and admit I do not care for earthquakes!!! @GennHutchison @carolineframke Isn’t it awful?? @alasdaaldor Yeah! They both aired on Nickelodeon here in the early 90s.
Whoa hold up this theme song slaps??? spent a lot of time thinking Count Duckula was a weird dream I had when I was kid @jordaanblok It’s shocking, right?? But folks gotta be careful and not take any chances!Oh man I can’t believe this but apparently if anyone else does one more of those Facebook/LinkedIn/Instagram/Tinder… @carolineframke @hulu @MaskedSingerFOX*the doors to the impeachment hearing swing open* *heels clack along the floor as a mysterious woman emerges in al…
Retweeted by Matthew D'Ambrosio™️ @hulu @MaskedSingerFOX Thanks I hate it @Home_Halfway @katewillett @GeorgiaShenk @samlymatters @chloeevansj @RealChrisCal @dietz_meredith @HannahEinbinder @rsonnenshine I'm gonna send you a bag of Lucky Charms marshmallows @christinastrain It’s a Christmas miracle!! @jeffrosenstock Toasted cheez its or BUST @bdgrabinski Now that you have the app, I highly recommend Evil! @cadlymack That was my favorite episode of the season until tonight’s!!Goddamnit the finale of this show is going to make me cry my entire face off isn’t itHow rad is it that a show as unique and special as The Good Place got to tell a story unlike anything that’s ever been on TV? @YourGirlPenny Haha no worries!! See you soon.*after being on time for a friend date and waiting for aforementioned friend to show up, upon receiving a “running… @mrsamherbst An ouroboros of cancellation @mrsamherbst You just can’t stop being canceled!!!
Retweeted by Matthew D'Ambrosio™️ @MyLifeInPlastic Bedroom mirror @michellenation Thank you!! and the boys hitting the beach come July’ve been working out more and am feeling comfortable enough to share this progress pic. Gotta get ready to show of… @jillboard
@wordscience poet the poem's that School Girls; Or, The African Mean Girls Play movie adaptation though? @PhiPhiOhara Holy SHIT. WANT. @BrettRedacted The GatsbyOh hell yeah it’s prequel time babay!!!! after muting all Mr. Peanut related content @vee_managed @chrissyteigen He's a good boy! @mrsamherbst @Brrunt That’s a big thing I love about Mandalorian. We have this baby that WE know is the same species as Yoda. Bu… @Brrunt The only perfect part of RoS is this perfect angel. @Brrunt I mean that’s honestly why I loved Last Jedi too. It broke the mold in such a way I never could have expect… lot of us have such strong attachments to Star Wars because we’ve been watching and enjoying the stories since we… @NickAmadeus HELL yes @chrissyteigen This is me when my cat is aggressively cleaning herself in bed in the middle of the nightIt’s really cool to see repercussions for people who aren’t in the direct orbit of the Skywalkers. To see that ther… @theferocity @AaronSerna @xoxoGG @AaronSerna @xoxoGG WOW I DISagree @xoxoGG Oh god is he a milkshake duck @Beckylooo @AaronSerna When Mike described her as a Tracy Flick over the rice shortage I was like ohhhhhh that’s what it is @Beckylooo @JeffProbst Oh 100%. But it might be entertaining! @JeffProbst I’m dead serious about this. I think it could be really entertaining to see how a no idol season effect… idea for @JeffProbst: a season of Survivor with idol nullifiers and idol clues, but no actual idols on the isl… @Beckylooo @AaronSerna She tried to ruin your name!!! @AaronSerna “Natalie, can I have your jacket?... ᴺᵃᵗᵃˡᶦᵉ...ˀ“ @AaronSerna She didn’t go on this reward! Is there a future one where she gets sloshed?? @mathewrodriguez Even as a kid I was like that cool hat-wearing cartoon frog ain’t fooling me this cereal is BADOh no they’re getting DRUNK drunk only want good things for sweet baby nerd Christian from David vs Goliath!!! no this episode of Survivor is double the length. I wanted to be in bed by now!!!!! @SierraRoby Exactly this!! @alicialutes It sucks that I felt like I had to finish that show ASAP because I didn’t want to get spoiled. That sa… y’all remember when we used to watch TV shows at our own pace and we didn’t gorge ourselves on dozens of shows w… Theatre
Retweeted by Matthew D'Ambrosio™️Does anyone else’s cat act like they’ve never been fed before when they definitely ate that morning UPDATE: My cat Hamlet has learned the word “food” and everytime I say it around him he perks up and it is exhausting!!!
yennefer of vengaboys
Retweeted by Matthew D'Ambrosio™️ @karenyhan Holy shitWow, I'd hate to live in an eroding society. Anyway, I'm off to read an article called, "child donates arm to pay o…
Retweeted by Matthew D'Ambrosio™️ of these Mr. Peanut jokes are tasteless. A lot like the product he used to peddle.
Retweeted by Matthew D'Ambrosio™️Today’s children will never know the joy of finding a used Airbag/How Am I Driving? EP at Media Play and it shows @JacksonRickun Right?I saw Radiohead at Bonnaroo in the mid-late 00’s and they started this song right as hundreds of tiny glow sticks w… - ALL I NEED yeah!!!! #TheWitcher morning, Jaskier hive!!! Official soundtrack is coming January 24th! Toss A Coin is available now!!!… @tvoti This is v relatable content!!!this is what the inside of my brain looks like today
Retweeted by Matthew D'Ambrosio™️ @meakoopa Hell yeah Threepio with pecs!!! I also had this Buff Leia figure.*clears throat, leans into microphone* Lady Gaga @donni *fighting over radiated rat meat* But she was just so UNLIKEABLE