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maker of cool shit • etsy seller • autism mama of 4 teenagers (2 sets of twins!) • wifey4lifey • happy in my bubble 🌮🍺🖌️

2,521 Following   4,288 Followers   14,952 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/8/08


@SirTerence Awww buddy. Sounds like he was just having a bad night. Service industry is such a soul sucking shit sh… https://t.co/iqItsIB5OM
1/27
2020
@SirTerence Well now you have to tell us the joke and the context so we can provide you the appreciation you should… https://t.co/9XhrPGXdip
1/26
2020
@koopa_kinte Pleasantly scented = gay as the day. Everyone knows this. Straight men only like to smell like sweaty balls and copenhagen. /s
1/23
2020
https://t.co/saRwEnNl9zMOUNTAIN TIME IS THE BEST TIME ZONE FOR WATCHING THE IMPEACHMENT TRIAL https://t.co/J1ZkOQXNCp
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
1/22
2020
Holy.. didn’t expect this to blow up like that. I‘m currently bombarded with messages and will try to get back as s… https://t.co/FCQasS4WtA
Retweeted by Laura NeimanThe forbes article is out everyone! Let’s share the heck out of it 💪🏻 Berlin Artist Jonas Jödicke Speaks Up About… https://t.co/Re42l9cHXc
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
1/18
2020
@seanpaulmahoney And at the risk of sounding like a grouchy old man, the kids are the worst! I see them in the cros… https://t.co/VzcUN0xvqHMy genuine favorite thing about the Youths is that they post pictures of themselves and then all their friends comm… https://t.co/ecQDrMCdsR
Retweeted by Laura NeimanGeneration X: the knees of a boomer and the social anxiety of a millennial
Retweeted by Laura Neiman @seanpaulmahoney Oh jeez, I don't know where you're at but it's obviously not Colorado; these people wear shorts with hoodies in winter.
1/3
2020
@tenthmuse @angelmarie0824 I know, it's horrible. I think she's local to us, I passed it along to some news outlets.
1/2
2019
Trust me, I will vote for Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden, or my freaking pet rock if they are the Democratic candidate.… https://t.co/ZPZE9r2DzG
Retweeted by Laura NeimanWhen I was 20, a man I barely knew proposed without a ring. I said yes. Within months, we were married, and wo… https://t.co/f0702aVABc
Retweeted by Laura Neiman @chaselyons @cungryhunt Jokes on you; I wasn't happy at 12 either. @cungryhunt That lady sucked. Every time I was a parent volunteer at the scholastic book fair, I made sure everyone… https://t.co/zXLkgrlhbF
12/30
2019
Dear @melissius how is Christmas break going? ☕ https://t.co/DJhQ52DwpBIf you're looking for the #EddieMurphySNL episode on #Hulu, it is not listed with all the other episodes. You have… https://t.co/kh4Ikcz4uc @SirTerence Thanks babe 😘I missed the Eddie Murphy #SNL episode and I can't find it on #Hulu - my Christmas is ruined wahhhhh
12/26
2019
@KyleClark I saved you one. Dm me where to mail it to and I'll put it in the mail tomorrow.kids get in the car we're going to cyberbully sarah huckabee
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
12/21
2019
If you believe we need to bring empathy back to the White House chip in $5: https://t.co/5kbka2BrL9 https://t.co/s3mGJHxXBB
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
12/20
2019
me acting like my shit is together this holiday season. https://t.co/MjcWRBzJJR
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
12/18
2019
I'm dying. https://t.co/dYOcBSX4v2
12/17
2019
@melissius @KJTorrance Best part of my day so far!
12/16
2019
Dear Colfax, never change. https://t.co/MEEXyaGcJb
Retweeted by Laura Neiman @tenthmuse I glanced at this too quickly and thought all of this was one tweet - I was like, how are these people v… https://t.co/79YVAaE69I
12/12
2019
@erniebufflo I bought a bigger and fancier Instant Pot for myself for my birthday a few months back and I hate it.… https://t.co/m37BYLRIMdCome see @thesauciestman and me this Saturday at the @Grandview_HS craft fair! https://t.co/ruuCfg9Ux9I just saw the news about Kamala Harris withdrawing and all I can think is I would love to live in a country where… https://t.co/cMror1p8xV
Retweeted by Laura Neimanme - “hello” Guy whose entire identity is built around arguing that Die Hard is a Christmas movie - “hey man, what’… https://t.co/wcAZwnR5Re
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
12/5
2019
Assembling candles for my little booth at the #GrandviewHS craft fair... Pretty sure @KyleClark is gonna be a top s… https://t.co/Pcd2xYaJoC
12/3
2019
@koopa_kinte I think it was the mom.
11/26
2019
Hey Denver folks, just a reminder to unhook your hoses!Is he/she on Twitter? Who knows. Will they know someone who is? Perhaps. Take a shot with me, people! I still haven… https://t.co/BO75vSVILi
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
11/25
2019
@mikeynerd Chin up, Mikey - you're a good dude and you've got this. @HappyHrProjects I don't even know what a parsnip is.i don’t know who needs to hear this but u don’t love disney u just haven’t been happy since u were 11
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
11/21
2019
Local friends and neighbors, support #GrandviewPerformingArts by coming to this powerful performance! The musical r… https://t.co/uIPhPbAhVwHave any Colorado motto ideas that beat these? ---> #HeyNext https://t.co/AAHUevtXkg
Retweeted by Laura NeimanThis decade been so crazy This is how Jay-Z and Kayne started this decade vs how the ended it https://t.co/L6UcWg82xP
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
11/20
2019
i've never clicked on a site looking for merch harder than i just did https://t.co/XadUQIJaJK
Retweeted by Laura Neimanhttps://t.co/mPsWYgdRNp https://t.co/5MNnZHvoX7 @Jaredewy You're a good guy. @goflight001 Happy Birthday! @Grandview_HS Looks amazing! I know this is a labor of love for everyone involved. ❤️❤️❤️The cast, crew and pit, of The Musical 1776, cordially invite you to attend a performance this week on Thursday, Fr… https://t.co/PNZ0Ue2tV2
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
11/19
2019
@amybhole @Greeblehaus @MrJonCryer I've known her so long I have a Greeblemonkey mix tape @bugfrog @MrJonCryer @Greeblehaus Maybe Twitter will verify her account.
11/18
2019
@Greeblehaus @MrJonCryer You're basically a celebrity now I'm pretty sure.You guys can call us Gen Xer's "Karen" if you want but if you understood us at all, it'd be "Heather."
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
11/17
2019
Nobody: The waiter at Olive Garden: https://t.co/DlG71Ug65l
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
11/12
2019
I'd like to ask "influencers" to stop being assholes so that bloggers who have symbiotic, valuable working relation… https://t.co/WdvOtLcq12
Retweeted by Laura NeimanI just became the YOUNGEST elected official in Colorado history! Thank you, Denver
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
11/6
2019
have you or a family member ever dated a guy named matt. you maybe entitled to compensation
Retweeted by Laura NeimanOne thing no one tells you about being a writer is how to cope with the fact that your thinking keeps evolving, whi… https://t.co/xASi3QbNeF
Retweeted by Laura NeimanBeauty tip. Nothing ages you more than being a shady miserable bitch. It's in your best interest to lighten your heart✨
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
11/5
2019
I just watched Stephen Colbert fall in love. https://t.co/yUGcrp8ShI @tenthmuse Dude, I bought a domain name recently and just got the notice yesterday that its renewing in November. W… https://t.co/e7O2XVtpGT
10/31
2019
Well this is awkward ...Colorado doesn’t border Mexico. Good thing Colorado now offers free full day kindergarten s… https://t.co/5G1xOYyAfU
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
10/24
2019
Holy cats, @thesauciestman this is by that In-N-Out we always go to right by Tia's house. https://t.co/SrJCViGWuP
10/13
2019
@thesauciestman Awwww! I knew it would be darling on you.Mood. https://t.co/6RNVZLfgXl @thesauciestman I need a picture.No the scariest thing i saw was you RUDELY PUSHING THROUGH MY KIDS LIKE A ZOMBIE to ask for one https://t.co/4N98Y9nDo5
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
10/7
2019
Love this! --> With a gender-neutral doll, Mattel hopes to break taboos and appeal to a generation that wants activ… https://t.co/r5vNnfPtxpYou'll never guess our top search right now.
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
9/25
2019
How he gonna plan allllllll that without his phone 🤷🏽‍♂️ https://t.co/KMlDOkXyl7
Retweeted by Laura Neimanfor the people mad at me because I don’t know who pewdiepie is let me clarify I don’t give a fuck who pewdiepie is
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
9/24
2019
@AlexAmbard Tag them in this tweet? 😂
9/6
2019
Field Hockey: The Wolves get their first win of the season with a 2-1 victory over Liberty. Congratulations to Coac… https://t.co/MPyyhUjimK
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
9/5
2019
When you know you're trash but you still like to have fun. https://t.co/O19Y4IzHSN
Retweeted by Laura NeimanI am so, so sorry https://t.co/0HEsTktMXo https://t.co/9LBXGnAfzo
Retweeted by Laura Neiman @itsmefranswa Omg reply all needs to die. https://t.co/T7vWrmpNSOHey @CCSDK12 is your mailserver having problems? Emails to https://t.co/8PT49lwglO email addresses are immediately… https://t.co/BTMHp1MpLjTikTok is okay pt. 2 https://t.co/KLOH30Ue8y
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
8/20
2019
My favorite part of August: when #RockyFordCantaloupe appears in stores! #madeincolorado #supportlocalfarmershttps://t.co/dStzPBpteWToday is Farmer Day for Wolf Pride #marchingbandcamp kids at @Grandview_HS and I made this shirt for my kid to pr… https://t.co/k6NyFU3ZeTThe Cherry Creek Innovation Campus will celebrate its grand opening tomorrow as a state-of-the-art facility designe… https://t.co/URSJtvjnkb
Retweeted by Laura NeimanParents of kids in Cherry Creek schools - pay attention to what's going on over at @CCIC_CCSD the new Cherry Creek… https://t.co/gA74fJHXTBCan you imagine being so fragile that the name #DearWhitePeople upsets you? Can you imagine having so little under… https://t.co/KVBI4lZW2d
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
8/2
2019
I feel like every single movie villain could be completely undermined by sarcastic teenagers Villain: I will remov… https://t.co/emUWPBCEhu
Retweeted by Laura NeimanTwitter Note: If you simply Block the Dumbfucks... You can actually Enjoy Twitter. I totally enjoy communicating wi… https://t.co/oDt1O95FSc
Retweeted by Laura NeimanWhat in the raisins in chicken salad with Miracle Whip is this fucking shit. https://t.co/FVeKgQVkPo
Retweeted by Laura NeimanLooks like today's storm was perfectly situated over my husband's project! #i25gapproject #cowx #holycats https://t.co/Zi6MBVVRHtBeautiful hot day in Aurora, my kids were at the pool while this was dumping on my husband in Castle Rock! View fro… https://t.co/Jq1WvtO237
7/30
2019
life imitates art https://t.co/p4hOYBTNKX
Retweeted by Laura NeimanI don’t know who needs to hear this, but no member of Congress is going to save us. It’s on each of US to mobilize,… https://t.co/GVfobs5Ejk
Retweeted by Laura Neiman @thesauciestman Do you need me to bring you food?
7/25
2019
Dropping my kid off at UNC today to do Masonic Band Camp - excited to see her March in the Greeley Independence Par… https://t.co/TMoeUeZ3t1
6/30
2019
Called out. https://t.co/sAHiyJkLgpHey, this is my husband talking about the Gap project in this clip! #i25gapproject https://t.co/BSQqnJir8e
6/26
2019
Not gonna lie, I got tears in my eyes when @lizzo got on that flute the same way I do when I watch my kids at their… https://t.co/w0SuU59dzM
6/24
2019
My class is celebrating the first day of summer today, so I decorated our model skeleton accordingly, but honestly,… https://t.co/W69JQftcbB
Retweeted by Laura Neiman
6/22
2019
bringing back this gem https://t.co/xTzZbVB2fM
Retweeted by Laura Neiman @msrachelteodoro My kids have been out of school for almost a month. But we'll be heading back while yours are in the thick of summer break.
6/21
2019
@wpmodder Holy cats, what luck. Love him.
6/20
2019

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