Sign in with Twitter


Ed Zitron @edzitron email: (bay area)

CEO @EZPR. EIC @thefuturebuzz British, 2x author, Top 50 @Businessinsider Tech PR Person, writer @thenextweb @deadspin. pod @ftfuturecast. PR expert

2,533 Following   43,240 Followers   59,276 Tweets

Joined Twitter 12/24/08

@UweBollocks Hey I can’t fuck my wife WITHOUT a hangnailHey, remember. Don’t feel pressured to do things when you’re unhappy. But also lol what’s a sporpsball who cares wh… @incogellen I can’t, I’m sorry, don’t hate meOh my god @Patrick_Wyman Every fucking game he risked ruining his body permanently“What’s wrong with you? What’s wrong? Why are you so small?? What is this small person??” “Uh joe it’s a kid” “WHAT… @bzrong Yelling “fuck” into the trunk @k_morrissey Nah he wouldn’t. He’d look at the baby and say “weird little shrimp” @bzrong A BIG ILLEGAL SHIPMENT OF BONES @nikhileshde Get us a spot in the shade. Thanks hotlegs @bzrong I don’t cry, I saabWe’re maybe a week from Joe Biden entirely becoming New Joe and saying “the thanks are all mine, Parson” while goos… @nikhileshde Vastly underrated??? 🤔🤔🤔Furiously complaining to @pablohidalgo it isn’t called the WOmandalorian @andylevy Ey uh let me hear more about [stops short as he tries to get up but he’s stuck] Ah my damn tie’s in the shredder again @Strong0pinions @LizardRumsfeld @ThatF00LThere @tubbins9 @_michaelbrooks @DominickDecoko @DanCrenshawTX Yes it is[peter Stormare voice] Jacoby brisket @crulge LmaoIt’s happening dude broke..! SMH!
Retweeted by Ed ZitronReally need a ride to T-Mobile or Bestbuy..!
Retweeted by Ed ZitronWarriors sweeping everybody 3-0! Heard it here first.
Retweeted by Ed Zitron @vikasreddy I love to get my shoulder kidneys and most of the rest of my body fucked up for more money on top of 50 million dollarsJIM IRSAY: alright Jacoby. Let’s get you brought up to speed on the playbook. No stupid questions. Ask away. Go. @FieldYates Life the live @johnbiggs Did they drive the car into the dinner table[spitting crunched up nachos] ahh yeah, ahh Andrew luck he’s a putz. Freakin millennials. I’d still play with my fr…’s what’s up baby @IllyBocean Another letdown from illy! @IllyBocean For what @PriscoCBS This sucks ass @jon_bois He already lives in Indianapolis @Oda_CM @vincentdonofrio what do you think @justinkcomer @hhhhhennies @leducviolet LmaoHey maybe this is my chance. Call me @Colts luck! Lol. Not sure what the joke is. Sorry @fruitsareedible @vincentdonofrio maybe this is my chance?CHILD: Papa.. tell me once more about WIFE's DUTY PAPA: it is WIFE's DUTY to protect her husband from villains, always
Retweeted by Ed Zitron @caitlin__kelly here’s the one" I DESERVE MY WIFE " GET OF MY ASS!! KING OF THE ROAD
Retweeted by Ed Zitron @caitlin__kelly @film_girl Remember when Dropbox worked @Oda_CM It’s just me walking around grabbing people and leading them to my storefront and having my shadow kick them in the ass @edzitron @jongraywb Junbi wa Dekita ka (Are you ready?) Henshin staato! (Transformation started!) Kanjiru ka (Can you feel it??)
Retweeted by Ed ZitronWhen someone asks me if I want crepes @jokers_trick Suffocation / no breathing Im the batman and the jokers trickingCut my life into pieces This is my joker's trick
Retweeted by Ed Zitron @leducviolet @yungchomsky @hhhhhennies This guy is me @leducviolet @yungchomsky @hhhhhennies @padresj @TWiT I’ve got one of those @leducviolet @yungchomsky @hhhhhennies ?
@leducviolet @yungchomsky @hhhhhennies Are you?? @hhhhhennies @leducviolet Ah yeah this is the woman who sold a shot glass that was a usb stick made up of power hour songs. Amazing @RushionMcDonald @Chefjernard Looks good @professor_abee HaHAAAAdavid kock death hitting especially hard because of baby bird brain derangement that makes me think every rich person i see on tv is my Mom
Retweeted by Ed ZitronJesse bad; bitch Me: damn he’s back. Wonder what’s happening @MuellerDad69 @thetomzone Oh yeah here I am in townstown, Ohio @MuellerDad69 @thetomzone Ohiopyle pennsylvania? At least come up with a better made up nameHello everyone it’s me John biden. Happy to be here in beautiful Burbank California. @tonyzaret @tonyzaret it possible to put two of the groups that find themselves on the receiving end of some of the most hilarious onl…
Retweeted by Ed Zitron @LLW902 I’m just frowning at this harder and harder every minute @MurderBryan I do. @ESPNAssignDesk @corybe Huge if true @ProfJeffJarviss Somewhat Excited: The Battle for Juno @intellegint Gamers thrombosis lol @BAKKOOONN Why’s the rock dressed like sandman @JustinMcElroy @jimmyfallon @FallonTonight @travismcelroy @griffinmcelroy Me @greekhistorypod @cstross @minimus_latin Lmaomany've sought the ultimate Combo and have asked me what the ultimate combo is. i am too amused simply by their ignorance to even answer .
Retweeted by Ed Zitronbill gates' dog is too dumb to even know his owner is a celeb. thats why i should be bill gates' dog. crawling around his mansion for treats
Retweeted by Ed Zitrondun-dunn dun-dunn dahh-daah dunn… JUST TAKE THOSE OLD RECORDS OFF THE SHELF…
Retweeted by Ed Zitron @Iittlejoy I’d have offered to marry him @Iittlejoy @IAmCoolGuyYT Mida/mini? @pablohidalgo Fine. But I want to make sure you’re okay with me revealing his signature catchphrase “mr. Fuck is here to party”Rey: it’s too dangerous. I’m going alone Joker: aaaaahahahahhaah @pablohidalgo can you confirm the dash rendar Disney plus show?Joker: It's my trick. I will give you a smile! (Charming smile) " -The Joker
Retweeted by Ed Zitron @Oda_CM He’s gonna be plain ole silly @Polygon Fans will be able to see the movie on May 6, 2022.Using the most powerful posting technology in the world @CoIntelAm Jokers trick @MurderBryan Did you get permission from that guy to use his pic @NotThisAsshole1 @SwaggyGod420 @thehill That’s not what I heardExperiencing “morning beer”I wrote a goodbye blog that's actually about digital media in 2019. Please keep reading Deadspin, because the best…
Retweeted by Ed Zitron @cushbomb This rules @TaylorLorenz They taught me something that’s for sure!Thank you pew! @SilvrdSpin Yeah no worries I just don’t want someone to take it seriously @SilvrdSpin Im not gonna get canceled for super tweets @ashleyrcarman Pumped up for the extremely problematic 3D live action aristocatsBoating and posting. The good life ™️ @terruntz It’s nice I brought my posts