no this isn't about you, god you're self centredgirl are you a meme because it's all ME ME with youFrosted Flakes fortified with 11 essential vitamins and cocaine.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Donโt use the word emote around men if you want to talk about showing emotions. They will hear they donโt have emotions. I know this now.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Tomorrow isnโt promised, post those screenshots now..
-just do it
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Wolf: *huffs and puffs*
Pigs inside brick house: Teehee
My dad getting ready to sneeze: Move!
Pigs: *squeal in terror*
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐If absolutely nothing happens, are Canadians still sorry?
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐HR says Iโm no longer allowed to answer the phone with โfor fuck sake, what nowโ
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐My dad must have some memory loss because heโs forgotten what happened the last time he told my mom to โrelaxโ
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Not to be dramatic but...
-me being absolutely dramatic in every way possible
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐You look like the kind of person who would wear sunglasses indoors for a โcoolโ selfie.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Someone on Twitter recently tweeted that blocking folk stops your account growing..?
It does not and who cares, itโฆ
https://t.co/eoEIoc5uLX Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Y'all be proud of me. I actually acted like a mature ass woman and told someone it wasn't going to work out insteadโฆ
https://t.co/RS7QEtkr7T Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Step 10
Step 9
Step 8
Step 7
Step 6
Step 5
Step 4
Step 3
Step 2
Step 1
How to climb a ladder in 10 steps.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐My shoulder is fucked up, so I'm running around with aT-Rex arm.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Yeah I love sports. I'm really in to boxing๐ฅ........
.....up my emotions and suppressing them until they all releaโฆ
https://t.co/8XPHi3gDJ4 Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Itโs like some of you only research a subject for 30 seconds before forming an opinion on it
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐My husband just walked by and burped while I was on speakerphone with the IRS. I donโt think I could love him anymore than I do right now.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐When I said white noise I wasnโt talking about country rap but I guess that works too
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐The best text messages are those that contain a warning that they are going to stop by your house, that way you know not to answer the door.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐who called it a "tweet format" instead of "words with friends"?
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Who called them bean bags and not gravioli.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐I definitely wouldn't want to be tagged in a photo of a dead person's feet.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Anyone who said foodservice is 'unskilled labor' has to work the McDonald's drive thru tonight
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐her: you really should go to therapy.
my brain: here a pea, therapy, everywhere a pea pea.
me: yeah.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐My writing style was once described by a professor as "so much rococo twaddle." Take that, haters.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐ @PyJamieParty @TheBoydP absolutely not
https://t.co/nnk0C0i6RI @SofaKingVinyl @thesammyhannah so cute! ๐ oh me saying this about cats is in no way a mark on their characterProving the theory that nature abhors a vacuum, within 5 minutes my quiet empty room now has two cats, two kids, aaaaand a husband.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐might get a bumper sticker that says "Braking Bad" and start randomly slamming on my brakes for no reason
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐My wife is taking me to a bar where there is axe throwing... I always wondered how sheโd make it look like an accident ๐คท๐ผโโ๏ธ๐บ๐ช๐
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐i see we've already entered the "brands giving it a jolly good go" phase of the bernie meme
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐If I was planning a heist, I simply wouldn't hire the guy who always loses his temper and kills somebody
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐I'm getting cannibal and cannabis mixed up.
Someone is smoking a fresh dead arm while someone's eating some weed
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐No I will not attend your Zoom orgy right now
I have a Zoom wedding to attend to first
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐I do feel like Iโm on dark mode but Iโm not sure what that has to do with my phone.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Dead Man Valking
~Count Dracula on death row
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐For someone who says they don't like anal you sure are butthurt a lot.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Feminism has really come full circle seeing as how the hot take from inauguration day is "men should smile more."
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Boss: You're allowed two 15 minute breaks
Me, unbound by the space-time continuum: Great, I'll go on vacation
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐yeah i remember the first time i tried stand up comedy
https://t.co/TdNEt5VISE Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Of all the people, in all of Twitter, why do I get the special wackos?
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Secret to a successful marriage is to never let your spouse find out that youโve had a good nightโs sleep
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Some days I feel like I'm doing a good job living on my own. Other days I leave the peanut butter in the fridge.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Yโall ever put clothes in the dryer and find a dry sock on the floor and realize it didnโt get washed but you throwโฆ
https://t.co/mL5CXu4M7I Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐BJโs should be taught not learned.. ย of course I said it, you all should be use to my BS by now
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐[if Twitter ran 911 call centers]
911: what's your emergency?
Her: my house is on fire and I'm trapped!
911: daโฆ
https://t.co/EwxnQQvfq7 Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Her: help I've been robbed
911 dude: yea of getting that good D
Her: no they literally stole everything
911: likโฆ
https://t.co/DYGNiORMIk Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Hey honey. Want to fold some clothes tonight?*
*me sexting
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Friend: please, donโt try to psychoanalyze me
Me: oh, psychoanalysis takes years. Iโm just fucking around inside your head.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐weekend twitter is like going to the dmv, there's lots of people but it's so boring.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐"I've been switching your coffee with decaf"
"How dare you!" I said, with the kind of focused rage only possibleโฆ
https://t.co/XUTKCwsDZx Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Do you think basic girls suffer from hubris
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Every time I'm not in someone's friendship circle, I lay curses upon your ancestral homes. So the earth is pretty fucked, just to be clear.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Women: *being eaten by a shark
Men: RELAX, you just need to CALM DOWN
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐This is a helpful diagram of how to hide from an evil baby
https://t.co/twzXz5ymhc Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐You have until this sleeping pill kicks in to impress me.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐they said i shouldn't snort valium and tweet bit it s noo bug deel i cann hanble it
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐ @Social_Mime @damnfinetweet You're welcome, great tweet!Fancy that! I'm super excited!
@EllaZee5 selected
@Social_Mime's tweet. Ho. Lee. Shit.
https://t.co/ywSEiRIE3W Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Eve wasn't going to eat the apple but Adam told her to calm down.
Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐Good tweet or best ever? Significantly better than Ezra.
@thisbrokeme named
@EllaZee5's tweet the best of the day.โฆ
https://t.co/8thzvM6WTK Retweeted by Ella Zee ๐๐ @damnfinetweet @thisbrokeme thanks so much! โค๏ธ
@sweetmomissa ๐โค๏ธ
https://t.co/E8ZZ26ZwaP
