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Emily™ 🛸🚀 @emwilcoxwrites Birmingham, England

you’ll find me in the biscuit aisle

397 Following   332 Followers   4,116 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/8/19

@fennellwitch 💛💛velma💛💛
one of them sad evenings eh? hold on let me get my hugsysomething about being super tiny and livin in teeny crater on the moon just appeals to meI’ve gone from skinny, sick and nearly dead to vibrant and energetic. Here are the 6 energy lessons I learned that…
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀so eight spacecrafts have been to jupiter and yet I’ve never been to blackpool tower? seems pretty unjust to me
my cat whenever I drop something not fit for consumption“Work isn’t supposed to be fun”, “medicine is supposed to taste bad”, “life is supposed to be hard” like why? Said…
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀 @DennisKoch10 @mindcafemedia aw man I love u dennis!3 Ways the Multiverse Theory Can Help Solve Your Problems Simple tricks based on the most complex concept we know…
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀I put the christ into christmas and the rein into reindeer. as in: “christ em would u rein it back a little it’s only december 1st”It's here! Edition two of our gorgeous print magazine is now available to purchase. To learn more about building go…
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀I’m not saying I’d sell my own nan for a fresh pack of bourbon biscuits I’m just reminding u that black friday discounts still apply
@ItxyLopez LOUDER FOR THE GAL AT THE BACK (me. I’m the gal at the back) @MichaelRMWrites a little more eyeliner then that’s exactly mejordan deckin it off the bench has just cured coronavirus I’m sure of it #ImACeleblet’s normalise the fact that girls release gas too. as in: from a canister. beside a lit flame. wherever there is a male @DrawntoHeal @communiess a new way to experience nudes @Lbenjyy @abbbbi23 they need u to teach them how it’s done (but also don’t then u can win it all) @JamesClear there’s just something about a crisp white cotton ankle sock that this world is undeserving ofDo the little things well.
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀I wonder what masterpieces bob ross would have painted during lockdownI just don’t think I fancied @DougiePoynter enough when I was younger. so I’m makin up for it nowBit of spare time on my hands today so I audited the unopened Quality Street tin. Just 4 purples (4.7%) and yet a m…
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀yungblud? letter writing? using the word whippersnapper? has santa been handin out my christmas list again'all ever feel like your novel is really a collection of vaguely connected scenes in a trenchcoat
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀I’m not saying I’m aggressively giddy because it’s advent calendar day tomorrow but *is aggressively giddy because… still not robertpattinson I want for christmas this year is for everybody to stay home to eat so that my best pal doesn’t have to work an…
harry potter and the philosophers stone but it’s two minutes long, i’ve improvised all of the dialogue, and it’s an…
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀are u ever just carrying something that Should Not Be Dropped™ and then out of the blue u just Drop It™ok wait but how is it series 20 of #imacelebrity when series 1 aired in 2002? has the apocalypse rly been on for tw…’s that time again when me and james acaster can rant about oranges stabbed with candles and sweets“bless his little cotton socks” but curse the rest of his outfitremember flappy bird lolall the worst bits of grandad and 80% of nan’s reading history @fennellwitch @abbbbi23 @Missguided she’s hoping and I’m planning heavy violence just in case he doesn’t (but he will cos HOT DAMN have u seen her) @Missguided I don’t have a sob story (tho I did lose my custard cream to my cuppa this morning. still haven’t recov… first thing kids should be taught at school: u are not ur thoughts the second thing: leek and potato souptwenty one years ago ur mom sneezed out a root vegetable (aka u). now because of societal laws we must celebrate he… best thing I’ve learned this week is that when squirrels fall/jump - they land like superheroes
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀yea
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀
My baby sister (13 y.o) pained this and I just can’t get over it ♥️♥️♥️
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀*me watching I’m a celeb* I could do this *me going longer than forty minutes without food* I cannot do this @hatttiegladwell I feeeeeeeeeeel that. with certain words I used to have to read them a specific number of times th… @decarteret_john going to pretend the indirect reference to the twilight book here is intentional and then add: bravoI've updated the Halloween decorations to Christmas decorations
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀all I want are apples and cheese and digestive biscuits and the love of a well read gentleman“look who decided to come out of their room!”
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀*emphatically packing several scarfs into a suitcase* hey mom did u know antarctica is the only continent without spiders?
I can contribute £7.90 to the production my next life I want to be robert pattinson’s jawlineon one hand I think I’d do ok on I’m a celeb on the other hand I just yelped so loud I tore into a new dimension al… @mattincanada_ u suffer for the ones u love right @GavinOfFewWords the dash makes seven layers of difference* us us us*. this was also very human being of methe fact that u can be allergic to moondust is just so very Human Being™ of ya
I will never forget the day I had to get a year 7 to write his favourite hobby up on the board in front of everybod… you want to read something with thanksgiving vibes, this was my first ever shortlisted story! It’s about a thank…
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀Absolutely as I imagined it
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀only birmingham would disorientate mo farah so much he flees from the finish line #imacelebrityevery time I have to scoop crap out my cats litter tray I begin to more seriously consider a life of crime @FreddieWoolf sounds marvellous @MichaelRMWrites *cameron diaz lingers in the distance impatiently awaiting her entrance*why must embarrassment be a thing. what kind of survival instinct is thatYou can often cure writer’s block by pretending to text your friends instead of trying to impress your English teacher
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀can’t believe I’m being ghosted by newsbreak @FreddieWoolf hey that’s what the producers at marvel said too @MichaelRMWrites me llamo t-bone la araña discoteca @mattincanada_ cosa segura. cargando en el leibñiz
cocovid chanel sounds like the aldi’s own version and honestly: I’d buy it's my dream interview at nasa. "how are ur programming skills" they ask. "out of this world" i nervously joke. th…
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀all I want is for somebody to create a fake spanish study group with the sole purpose of wooing meguess who’s just eaten 24 custard creams
thought this was a twilight fifty shades of grey cover @LauraLizBuckley I sincerely hope it’s bothI saved this into my drafts at 2:42am this morning: “I just want an award ceremony called golden glow. sat in the… and shane showering together usin princess shampoo and pinchin each other’s nipples is the cure to corona I just know it #ImACelebWHAT IM SO EMBARRASSED
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀 @ellieyemm which better be a huge ass pile of Nothin™ in a cute poundshop gift bag cos u my love are gift enough @ellieyemm everything about this is on my christmas listUGLY no one asked for this A-side
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀I don’t know why I submit this. I don’t know why they posted it. but I’m proper pleased they did<Performs marketing ritual> <Clears throat> Kindest of humans, please consider buying some shit from us. It is th…
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀me: no problemo narrator: but it was all problemo
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀Unreal 😂😂😂
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀In a parallel universe, there's a version of you who started a business.🌎💵
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀two years ago today me and @fennellwitch were teaching her 14 year old sisters (my 14 year old cousins oddly enough… I’m real good at getting my hopes up but not so much getting my christmas tree up @MIKEBLANKI tell me about it! @KaneUnabIe queen or just four pics of me before I’ve brushed my hair
@spencerjones384 @abbbbi23 except “rooms of opportunity” also translates as “every passing stranger I encounter”this is like one of those spot the difference pages in those teen mags that gifted u a picture of justin bieber and… @ellieyemm @RandallOtisTV I have memorised every sentence of it and honestly it is my biggest achievement. I’ve era… @busumur @ItxyLopez a tattoo across my heart counts as a quote if I reference u right? @ItxyLopez @busumur only cos I’ll be posting incessantly about how much I love u pair 💛💛💛💛 @fennellwitch well considering u are one of those People in My Life™ aka genetic and also it’s a horror musical then yeah: I meant THAT repoGirls only want one thing and it’s to taste Wallace and Gromit ‘s moon cheese and crackers
Retweeted by Emily™ 🛸🚀 @RandallOtisTV donde esta la bibliotheca do not deserve the people I have in my life. that being said: I will curse ur entire ancestoral line if u dare ev…