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I am the one who knock knocks! Opinions are my own. Allana Harkin called me a bitch on Twitter so I know I've arrived. You need to follow @thehedrk right now!!

2,135 Following   7,180 Followers   51,499 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/27/11


I hate when I don’t remember what fake bullshit name someone made up on snap so I accidentally reply to someone who… https://t.co/tFwNhPqIps
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅Establish dominance by putting YOUR arm around HIS shoulders while sitting on the couch.
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅X https://t.co/joAB4OQPt2
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅excited to wear my comfortable new shirt today until i realized i’m just dressed as the slacker douchebag in every… https://t.co/b0AZkKPsBH
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅🥈 RUNNERS UP 🥈 It was a hella tough one this week, you guys sure brought your A-game! Shout out to the honorable:… https://t.co/GqTQwnRQJS
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅Life has a way of punishing you for getting excited about anything.
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅Amassing knowledge without ever applying it as wisdom, is kinda my kink.
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅i just shot my shot (liked 2 of his tweets) wish me luck
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅Any time a big account follows me, I instantly assume they have made a mistake.
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅 @Tobi_Is_Fab It's a phamdemic!really guys how many times must I tweet about ham before you realize that this is clearly a cry for help. just call a damn hambulance jfc
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅 @writeden I'm hoping for Moss GreenGoodnight y’all https://t.co/sBgSoWepL9
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅
11/29
2020
Can I stick my finger in your hand? Is this a pull my finger joke cause I’m not falling for that again. https://t.co/ujKMXvAJIN @carboncaitlin https://t.co/6DClbaBYUMscrew it https://t.co/1CSAocYubB
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅My kid locked himself in the bathroom so he could eat a snack without having to share it and just like that he became a mom
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅 @WDCreports I do but I didn't when I used to work in the kitchen.Curious. If you’re married, do you wear a wedding ring?
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅someone she can share all her secrets without judgement. a sounding board. a partner in crime. a mental equal th… https://t.co/GoynKNThUJ
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅friends never tell me to look at things because i turn directly around and stare why am i like this.
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅 @itsnashflynn Cause symmetry is for ASSHOLES.why. just, fucking tell me why https://t.co/tXGmg8beQp
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅I would trade all of Wu-Tang Forever for a fully RZA-produced Inspectah Deck solo album.
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅I only just learned that "our lady" means Mary. I thought there was a bunch of other ladies and Mary was the boss.
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅Q: Going out today? Me, putting on pants: How did you know?
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅 @DarkInjustices if the scale is Ursula to Thanos I'm smack dab in the middle. @difficultpatty Mine is 10 and I'm already seeing the signs. I feel like I need to go apologize to my parents.The parenting books don’t prepare you for how gross teenage boys are gonna be.
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅 @DarkInjustices https://t.co/05NExcby8A @_stylr @HoldinCoffeeld Can I get knuckle tats with this?I could never be a scholar because they have know life.
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅Instagram in the streets, Twitter in the sheets.
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅 @DarkInjustices @manicpixedreem https://t.co/pYNUwNqA8pHoliday special: for the next 30 days, 25% off my OnlyFans. Because I’m a giver. 😏 https://t.co/UVTxtqTqil
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅This is 37, but I feel like I’ve got 400 years of love flying at me. https://t.co/CjD1ALZKSd
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅What’s something you can say during sex and at a bar?
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅BREAKING: at least one Xbox controller in our house every week.
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅 @PatsATweetin Oh you put the fancy c in!“My body is a wonderland” I whisper as I pluck the last of my nipple hairs.
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅 @JasonNotEvil Here’s one from my friend that should be on the Jumbotron at every NASCAR event. https://t.co/r99mxXT711🚨Tweet Call 🚨 I would like to see your favorite tweet you have ever written. Feel free to share a friend as well.… https://t.co/JqgW2Ya4jp
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅 @thequareman Me either but if the movie has any relation to it, it’s gonna be a trip. @thequareman We watched the new Little Prince movie on Netflix instead. Manly tears were shed.I ate some goji berries today so now I’m a healthy lifestyle account.Butt plugs for Klingons and a razor-toothed kitten Love for Jeff Goldblum and selfies that keep us all smitten Bee… https://t.co/GnUM7jqwr4
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅 @thequareman I tried to watch it with my kid and he veto’d it immediately.I guess “all of Twitter” wasn’t done. https://t.co/4yWU3vjKAm
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅 @awkwardenabled @Tobi_Is_Fab @toomanycommas3 @perlhack @itsmebeegee07 @TheRealPalMal Mail or Male? @Tobi_Is_Fab https://t.co/daLLxOEEeXWhen you are young birthday's are great cause you get cake, but when you're old birthdays are great cause you get "cake" 😏When will they make a Hallmark Xmas movie about a mom who slowly loses her mind because no one appreciates her and… https://t.co/D34Dp6SHAu
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅When it's good it's good. Yo Adrian! @erichwithach selected @Tobi_Is_Fab's tweet. Ain't it a peach? https://t.co/IMbqWqprGh
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅To make it on Twitter, you either have to talk about buttholes or show your butthole, and y’all already know which one I am.
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅 @toomanycommas3 @Tobi_Is_Fab @henchbeaver @Kateness8 @GotJbenny @Artemis_Ascends @realfunghi @AtRichieKhttps://t.co/XcTSmQwstL @toomanycommas3 @Tobi_Is_Fab @HenchBeaver @kateness8 @gotjbenny @popeawesomexII @artemis_ascends @realfunghihttps://t.co/4nep3Jiklq @toomanycommas3 @itsmebeegee07 @TheRealPalMal @RichieK @thequareman @notmythirdrodeo @sherrysworld @patsatweetinhttps://t.co/1RzfK0AUX2Happy Birthday @Tobi_Is_Fab! 2020 is not the year any of us thought it would be. But your friendship has been one o… https://t.co/SXSGU1TLM5Two things I know about this place: 1) Twitter friends are real friends 2) @Tobi_Is_Fab is one of the realest frie… https://t.co/RVIw0JbW2S
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅 @maxoupial @NaomiSeu https://t.co/aNZrV6vnzu @RiotGrlErin Bruh. 🔥Bro. I look cute. Af. https://t.co/9qMGPaZleP
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅 @filmswithcora I wonder how many of those are even left in the world. @writeden I don’t follow????Don’t follow me, I’m grumpy.
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅 @GregL6speed Same @besa_andy @ShootyDoody Yes I put the gif for the one I was referring to. Please see exhibit A. @AtCouchyB There is only misery and destruction in my wake. @DoctorFacepalm The one with the actor that I put in the gif.Gone in Sixty Seconds is 20 years old. https://t.co/gdHTICbLomSex so good you both delete your Twitter accounts
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅Is this vodka or super glue? And other adventures
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅Sure, you can get your wife jewelry or an expensive purse or perfume for Christmas, but she will never forget the C… https://t.co/PhA3hwDnQp
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅 @mommajessiec IT WAS A SWIFFER WET. TOTALLY DIFFERENT.I wrote this to see how many people like me but don’t RT like me. @charbroil_chew HahahaSure I'm desperately lonely but I also just caught all the light cycles and made it through downtown without stopping so who's winning now??
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅my life https://t.co/Q2IY0RkXj9
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅am I single and ready to mingle? naw alone and not likely to bone
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅A speeding cement truck ran a red light and my son said they're in a desperate hurry to unload just like people that really need to poop
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅honestly I might just make this my pfp https://t.co/3iwYhZM3cY
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅I like you. But I don’t RT like you.When you’re bored and start trying on clothes. https://t.co/iSoHsDoUY4
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅 @AtCouchyB Age only lasts a year but hobbies are forever.How do you know if the 69 in a woman's email address refers to her hobbies or her age?
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅constantly forgetting I’m old enough to drink
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅 @DarkInjustices https://t.co/oW6UUN7Jri @WhatsAGreenhorn @DistantDistant @JodingersCat Whenever I hit reply and then type out "Actually" something auto tri… https://t.co/1kK3gZJKRWyou are such a soft and wild thing
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅This is my first Christmas where my daughter is bringing a boyfriend... what do you buy the boyfriend?
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅nah, envy wasn't her thing. greedy, that's an understatement.
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅a question for men: why are you the worst?
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅I’m tired of this shit man I am TIRRERREED. MAN. of.ThIs.ShIT
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅20% off is not a real sale
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅Just a reminder. I know we’re all hurting right now. But if you are one of the fortunate ones that are able to help… https://t.co/CHjkKs92t3
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅everyone was confused. https://t.co/YR87tSvyp7
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅I thought plague was a spaghetti sauce. I couldn’t be more wrong.
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅Why are we not using Funyuns as environmentally-friendly cock rings more often? They’re edible/biodegradable and c… https://t.co/I6wLU95txW
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅Sometimes the loneliness and emptiness is comforting, and sometimes it's very much the opposite. Sometimes I'm not even sure which it is.
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅
11/28
2020
If anyone feels like being a friend, my wife's restaurant is on a "best of" list and needs votes. Please go here a… https://t.co/sAph7uW2U9
Retweeted by Breaking Dad🧅
11/27
2020

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