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eve peyser @evepeyser Brooklyn, NY

writer/personality • follow me: • hire me: • subscribe:

1,894 Following   78,407 Followers   50,291 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/25/14

going out on a limb here, but are you somebody who actually supports Bill de Blasio's 2020 presidential run? want t… Cat isn't dead, she just got sick of being famous and Tupac'd herselfforever looking for freelance work, so if you want me to write for you, please reach out: 🙂excluding animated Batmen, Christian Bale has been the best live-action Batman we're gonna get and I'm ok with that @liberalinsf same. wasn't gonna make up my mind until at least 2 gen z celebs spoke out on the issue.update: Kylie Jenner also said the Alabama abortion legislation "makes me sick"
@tresdessert ok but imagine a world where Gwyneth Paltrow, Zizek and Susan Sarandon had ideological power over the…!!!!!!!! @geekylonglegs holy shit omg omg omgJust read this by @evepeyser
Retweeted by eve peyser @kgw you are so kind, thank you!i've sub'd to a lot of my fav twetr ppl's substacks and hers is one of my favs, due in large part to it speaking to…
Retweeted by eve peyser" a world where enjoying inaccessible and obscure art carries cultural cache, it feels slightly subversive to…
Retweeted by eve peyserI would love for you to subscribe to thank youNew newsletter!! On celebrity cameos, watching SNL every week, and my existential laziness's Seinfeld's world and we're just livin' in it, baby! @opheligarcia opheli!! congrats. you are greatRaspberry is just diet strawberry
Retweeted by eve peysercapitalism is bad, but it has given us John Wick, which is very good... hm.I love how @robynkanner writes with such deep compassion I LIKE that Bill de Blasio killed that groundhog
Retweeted by eve peyserjust a thought—if the government really doesn't want women to get abortions, they oughta try giving us better acces… can't believe that a major youtuber got cancelled over supporting the wrong phony gummy vitamin company, but i also can totally believe it
@theseantcollins same will support any 2020 candidate who pledges to outlaw brands doing "how do you fellow kids" shit on social media hope you all realize that the song "Breaking the Girl" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers is FUCKING GREAT and WORTH TO…
imagine being the most annoying person named meghanok ultimately, i am going to go with the following:can't decide which one to tweet Positivity FTW! Cap’n Crunch Just Became The First Breakfast Cereal Mascot To Show Off His C-Section Scar On A…
Retweeted by eve peyser @briankoppelman @SHO_Billions yay!!!! @GenePark I'm sorry but ew @AdamSerwer while the plebs are tweeting about how it's a riverdale reference, you're over here being a real intellectualgod bless"What will life be like 2027? Will there still be bees? Coral reefs? Discrete meteorological seasons the average pe…
Needless to say, I stand with @elivalley, who is a shining light of contemporary Jewish culture. The attempts to sm…
Retweeted by eve peyserWhen I was at The Onion, it seemed like harmless fun to make Joe Biden a slightly gross and comical uncle, but now…
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free small business idea— Beni-haha: a hibachi restaurant/stand-up comedy clubfreelancing be like... a split second i thought the celebs were getting all intellectual and turning into big sontag-heads, but then i… morning i wake up and think i finally caught the disease from 'severance' @jbillinson @GenePark I thought the Mandarin twist in Iron Man 3 was kinda fun!! @byrdinator @elainaplott @TheAtlantic I just solved @TheAtlantic's daily crossword in -4 seconds. Can you beat my time?
The👏Running👏Man👏was👏a👏documentary“One day, a candy company asks you to vote for your favorite Skittle. The next, you’re entering a contest to be tas… @ditzkoff Dave. @eve_rebecca same! I can still put in all the love and care into my work without having to devote 40+ hours of my l…
@FreequentFlyr bill didn't become vegan until way after he left office...booker would be the first president to be… @socialistnancy yesif cory booker wins he'll be the first vegan president, why isn't anyone talking about THAT glass ceiling?
by the way, if you're an editor and you want me to write something for you / pitch you, my email is 🙂Delaney made my top 5 solely because I respect the fact he's been in the 2020 race for at least 100 yearsDem-eve-cratic polls, 4/30/19: 1. Bernie 2. Warren 3. Castro 4. Yang 5. Delaney 6. Harris 7. Buttigieg ... 133. Bet… @mmaggeler boss baby is low key a v good kid's movie, god is rewarding you for your efforts @CookeWJ1 thank you!still thinking about this image from a 2008 60 Minutes story about Facebook, wherein Zuck teaches Lesley Stahl how…
Retweeted by eve peyserachievement unlocked: spelled "dennis kucinich" right on the first try
@NYC4691 honestly, me too! @NYC4691 I'm also a lifelong New Yorker, for what it's worth. @valleyloogie we actually met in Aspen!I love meeting new people basically anywhere except for New York... there's something truly cursed about socializing herewho among us... Slope YMCA continues to be hostile territory for mayoral exercises/stretching
Retweeted by eve peyser @yashar I’m not mad just disappointedThis feels relevant. @bibleland6 I watched the Viola Desmond heritage minute. I’m glad they replaced him. @robotics I like calling it “cyberhell”Dude looks like a knock off George Washington have never heard a woman call the bathroom "the can"
what's a cute li'l scootie accident look like? "I had blood gushing out of my face onto the sidewalk"
Retweeted by eve peyserCoffee is best consumed hot, I do not understand you cold brew-heads @Olivianuzzi Ily!! @nandorvila The guys who did Rounders do BillionsLife is much better since I stopped accepting regular mail and replaced it with @evepeyser’s Evemail!
Retweeted by eve peyserYeah I’m sure everyone in the mainstream media club is plotting this between sips of martinis and puffs of cigars i…
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@Randazzoj ping me when it's readyHey Eveheads—consider subscribing! @Olivianuzzi @jerrysaltz Hi Jerry did u get my letter?woot!
Retweeted by eve peyserRead me! On Instagram! And beauty standards! For the NYTimes! Thanks!
Retweeted by eve peysermy mother, who is a graphic designer, gave me her professional opinion of Biden's 2020 logo: @edzitron hbd ed! @ericeidelstein holy shit this tweet is amazingthe most ferociously anti-graphic designer 2020 candidate has emerged, and this man "JO" is out for blood thinking about this image from a 2008 60 Minutes story about Facebook, wherein Zuck teaches Lesley Stahl how… know this hasn't been a topic of conversation since 2004 but can we take a moment to acknowledge the official rel…
Retweeted by eve peyser @4evrmalone @Knibbs why did every write-up of this story approach her potato claims so uncritically? i'm not buying it! @Olivianuzzi it's been 4 minutes and the replies to this tweet are already extremely cursedrise up caesar!!!
@mattromney2016 the options really only get worse what the fuck is wrong with facebook glad facebook forced this feature onto me the latest edition of my newsletter, I write about Andy Serkis, Mark Zuckerberg, and the depraved, wet men who m…
Retweeted by eve peyser @LCarlosSaavedra ❤️ @evepeyser very nice read eve. first mail subscription i dont regret signing up to.
Retweeted by eve peysertell your friends to subscribe: :)In the latest edition of my newsletter, I write about Andy Serkis, Mark Zuckerberg, and the depraved, wet men who m…’s so dumb to ask if dylann roof should be allowed to vote as if the thing that makes dylann roof heinous is the…
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*writes two sentences* to to get my new newsletter, Evemail, in your inbox today! no spoilers, but I pro…