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33. Sagittarius. Single. He/Him. Canadian. Lone Wolf for Life. Proud owner of a Toyota Corolla.

450 Following   1,285 Followers   45,944 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/5/13

Sex is a lot like eating a pomegranate. I've heard it's very good
Retweeted by (500) Days of Puffin @k_colonialism Yes. Where is a child more likely to learn, in a school with a teacher or in a field working?Damn it sucks having such perfect, delectable nipples.
Oh my god is this real??? Milton in the 1600s
Retweeted by (500) Days of Puffin @BryterMoon There was bottom text too about loving people unconditionally but the way it was divided was very funny to meI feel like this is wrong but can't immediately prove it so who knows Fast Vs Furious. Shit writes itself now do one of the little girl crying at grandma's funeral simply declare "math is fake" and walk away @appledoglives Goddammit. The day I decide to follow you and you start spitting this ANTI-CANADIAN PROPAGANDA. My p… guy on Letterboxd wrote a review of the movie Black Snake Moan complaining it was one of the most misogynist mo…
@Strongmaw I think reading the names would be fun, but reading all the details might be depressing @Strongmaw You know I was actually looking at my blurays thinking I need to rewatch some of my favs. I would very much be downIf some supernatural being gave you a book with the name of every single person who has ever had a crush on you, co… @JustinWhang I'm pretty sure this isn't a Chris Chan thing... but I can't look at it and think it's not a Chris Chan thing.Ugh just the worst combination of words I've ever seen took several "protest naps" and may continue if things don't improveUghhhhhh I can't deal today. I'm being overwhelmed with idiots online running their mouths about covid and bullshit…, the actual tweet. Not having schools just ensures that poor people get no education, while the rich get priv…, you need permission to go to the bathroom? I've worked some shitty jobs and that's never been a thing. Bu… off: the complaint in the comic is so petty, like grow up, jobs are boring sometimes. You know what else is b… paid to promote this tweet and it's got me mad for some reason, we're halfway there whoa
Retweeted by (500) Days of PuffinIf they put this in American Psycho or Fight Club you'd call it heavy-handed
Retweeted by (500) Days of PuffinUgh I have been almost perfect at avoiding sugar for the past 6 weeks and then my friend just dropped by with some… @sayambuIar I'm fuckin sick of it Denise. People need to start showing JBJ a little respectIf Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi doesn't INSTANTLY make you cum, then delete your whole damn account. Move out of… @CanadaPanda Damn and look at those muscular calves. Now THIS is what I call Snap VhatLmao facebook cannot be beaten.'s friday night time to celebrate by setting myself on fire
Wow! Brave Local Man Has Not Missed One Day At Job With Vulnerable and Elderly After His Positive Covid Diagnosis! @CanadaPanda Two handed high fives when they spot the water feature in the new backyard. @CanadaPanda A superbowl style party where you and the bros cheer when they reveal the new design of the day roomI often think about: John Wilkes Booth being a moderately successful actor. It's like if the president was killed by Zach Braff.
Retweeted by (500) Days of PuffinMy client is a goddamn agent of chaos today. Every time he stands up to do something it only serves to wreak havoc.… @young_particle Help! I'm being Gaslighted by a Narcissist!I love how incredibly stupid pop psychology has gotten in the last couple of years. Instead of introspection or kno… today is gonna be a "hell day" I can feel it. @CorndogHospital One day... I will kiss, smooch, and possibly fuck. @cakemittens This is all going according to my 531 point plan to win her heart. We're on step 64.HR Hottie slid into my insta dms again hell yeah
This year for my birthday, the universe has given me a huge helping of RAGEHonestly... I can see why they're threatened. I hate it with my life @young_particle How dare they ruin my birthday for you!Cranks the radio up to max and then starts demanding I turn it down lol.I should've known my client would be a real fucking asshole today. Begged and begged for me to cook black beans (ew… will k*ll anyone who makes this at a christmas party.'ve decided to celebrate my birthday by doing a thread of all my current crushes. 1) Start with a real beauty. Th… they say the baby shoes thing is the saddest six word story
Retweeted by (500) Days of Puffin @BryterMoon Whoa! A party puffin! Thanks!! @locustbones Thank you!!!! @CanadaPanda Thank you!!! @That_Fing_Cat @PoorBoy1250 Thank you mr McPresident @PoorBoy1250 Thanks king!!! You da best! @MrMichaelRose Thanks king. Your kindness and consistency is impressive and beautifulHappy birthday to me, I just got out of the shower to find a text from my work saying I have to start wearing the f… to wish the happiest of birthdays to my Twitter brother and forever internet friend @Fancy_Puffin. I hope you…
Retweeted by (500) Days of PuffinI love all of you but none of you will ever post anything a quarter as funny as when Mia Farrow posted a screenshot…
Retweeted by (500) Days of Puffin @xXAngelOnlineXx I found a Christmas present for you! a nice bowl of 5 fresh strawberries.Thank you @Pingtr1p this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.
Retweeted by (500) Days of Puffin
@BrandonElzby @OBiiieeee Gray Romano @tinynewbornbaby Thriving in the shower, surviving while I'm making my lunch, struggling through my morning commute, in crisis all dayWait wtf fucks me up that when i first heard of michelin star restaurants i was like "the tire company??" and then i was…
Retweeted by (500) Days of Puffin @Strongmaw That's boring! You can't be downward spiralling if you're stuck at the bottom!
@PoorBoy1250 Unemployed homeless people have had it too good for too longYo if you're not wildly shifting across this whole spectrum 2 or 3 times a day, we have nothing in common fav movie monster has gotta be the cgi little old manboy Brad Pitt in Benjamin Button.’t imagine a worse place to be than where the guy in the pic is
Retweeted by (500) Days of Puffin @young_particle Do I detect a dapper king??
Retweeted by (500) Days of PuffinNever will get used to the beauty of a Canadian child being born.
Retweeted by (500) Days of PuffinAsshole writes in book. @sayambuIar When writing this tweet I felt conflicted about whether it was too close to being the same as this vine… I got hot sauce all over my nipples and supple breasts again!
I regret to inform you that despite my best efforts, my ass is now grass @Laser_Cat @HEXCELERATOR What if in the Mandalorian instead of carrying around a cute little Baby Yoda, he's got an…'s fat, he likes girls in bikinis, and he's got a stupid little pet monkey thing that laughs like a fuckin idiot hardest fucking fit ever
Retweeted by (500) Days of Puffingoing to be a long 4 years
Retweeted by (500) Days of PuffinCWC is often accused of being creepily physical with women (but witnesses report CWC behaving like that w Mom) and… had a lot of problems which formed a perfect storm. Lack of real friends (0 male friends, and the female friend…'ll draw a comic murdering CWC, and when CWC responds in kind, they shift the goalposts, act super offended, an… a lot of the trolls try to justify their abuse by pointing out how awful CWC is, but other than CWCs t…'ve spent approximately 30 hours over the past 3 or 4 days watching a comprehensive documentary on Chris Chan's li…, in your opinion, is the worst thing that’s happened in 2020? For me it’s the global coronavirus pandemic
Retweeted by (500) Days of PuffinTalk to me about what
Retweeted by (500) Days of Puffin who wear these are freaks in bed 😜😜😜
@PostCultRev Buddy... they won't even let me fuck it! @PoorBoy1250 That made me throw up a little. @PoorBoy1250 What? You garbage your cum??? You gotta be like Chris Chan and recycle that shit!This movie reminds me of a very stupid version of Foucault's Panopticon... that's right, I've read Foucault.Does Emma watson ever change her clothes or bathe or shave her v or masturbate or fuck? The movie doesn't explain t… @danger_rcb I could see that. It's a cool concept/ideaThis movie oscillates between being really boring, really annoying, and morally repugnantI'm watching this movie called The Circle and it's about how invasive technology is good and privacy is bad and how…