![]() | fun in real life, funnier on twitter, funniest in my head |
new low deleting twitter https://t.co/A0x1qnuxxZi just want someone to watch mr beast videos with
im moving https://t.co/snYMGy3fDn
same w shawn johnson. https://t.co/HuP1dWIADswhen robert frost said nothing gold can stay he was talking about morning skinny
the pregnancy picture of bindi irwin with her husband is so cute dont talk to me about anything else this week. im overwhelmed with it.
when the boys were FORCED to give me cards ❤️❤️❤️❤️>>>> https://t.co/cOr8zAZ8ti
ive been smiling at this picture trying to figure out what i should do with it for five minutes. my new favorite im… https://t.co/Tv2BzObsg8
@chlo_moneyy_ delete thiswhyd we all watch tiger king
THIS. https://t.co/dFcOzNQmAF @ty_plassman listen just because u met me in my “i hate all men and will never get close to anyone ever again” phas… https://t.co/S04TiBa6xK @ty_plassman ive done it before i can do it again
this is either going to age really well or be really embarassing https://t.co/E2uwCb2jUtim getting a boyfriend this year ive decided. @nyaarry it happened suddenly last night so if u have my voodoo doll stop talking around it.last month i got my tonsils out
this month i have pink eye
can someone alert my physical body that im not 6 years old
Charcuterie is a lost art https://t.co/vSGTSw519h
Retweeted by fizzif i can change the skin tone of people emojis why cant i change the color of the butterfly emoji @Apple @maggiemartin604 im embarrased whyd i forget u saw him and follow mebeing in a pandemic sucks bc i saw cody ko’s doppelgänger and did not kiss him

We have the technology why can’t we make Instagram pink
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@nataliesisler go sit in a corneri do not care what youre doing right now stop it and go watch soul
i would 100% die for any of my friends but i will never text them back
Retweeted by fizza 15% decrease in fear from last year good work team https://t.co/bAaDTza5LE

can someone make me famous for existing please
Retweeted by fizzfor context it has been one year and i spent 365 days contemplating how there is 20 people scared of me. collecting… https://t.co/5kfmabn3jYare you genuinely scared of mei love my mom but ill never forgive her for being voted best dressed in high school in the 80s but not keeping a si… https://t.co/yEjPukoiQd

but what if i get married and then the guys like “babe i got us an inflatable to put outside of the house!”
THEN WH… https://t.co/0I9cNrLMx0
stop posting cute pics of u and ur bf on christmas until i have one tooWhoever keeps asking Santa for a handsome man with small hands please stop. I am so sick of waking up underneath so… https://t.co/B6yL0KmiTr
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the neat thing about my taste in men is if you remind me of any guy in new girl i am 100% attracted to you automaticallywait what https://t.co/jWk6sOeZr1i feel like i reference the “guess what im eatin... pOPCORN” vine and have to pull it up and explain what i just said at least once a month
@slutsaxk if ur go to glee episode isnt grilled cheesus ur wrongi just saw a tiktok of a figure skater and hockey player dating and if theres not a hallmark movie like that within the next year i-
girl idk i tried that last time https://t.co/6rPMtDo9Izyou can tell potato chips are healthy and natural when the bag is matte instead of glossy
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@SummerStaiger i have never heard of her but kfc is :///// idk bout it @samsherrrr you have so many good ideas but this is at least in the top 3. im in.
@tyler_dillon22 a-are we about to kiss rn
can everyone get the vaccine and start falling in love i want to go to weddings @slutsaxk am i proud or embarrassed that i didnt need the parentheses to tell me who that is @fizzeree You guys totally know Michelle Gephart would make this happen!!! You could pull up to the back door and s… https://t.co/ekizArNAhH
Retweeted by fizz @lilyyyyrose_ not having those and not talking to mrs abner every day are easily the two hardest parts of college, enjoy it now 😪 @mrs_longman you are incredible, tell me when and i am on my way @mrs_longman please responddoes anyone know if im allowed to go back to my high school for a mashed potato bowl
id literally pay $15 for one… https://t.co/zYnWt7Rvtf @jesshckmn @houseandhens this is my favorite candy of all time and i never understand why people havent heard of them

@nyaarry he is literally my age but my heart wont let me move on ❤️literally everything nick jonas does is hot. i just watched an igtv of him making a cocktail and i had to get my inhaler.
apples greatest creation was reacting to messages. WHAT would i do if i couldnt just ‘like’ a message??? text back????? 🤮🤮 absolutely not.
@slutsaxk thought that was implied yes @taylormhk_ i am not but since you said this i will try to find you a recipe ❤️😌do i give off a dairy-free vibe? i know u didnt mean this as a compliment but im really flattered https://t.co/IKHc0tPijjthe SECOND i can function post tonsillectomy, i will be making hot chocolate bombs. thats all i have thought about… https://t.co/ULTbJzOhNv
sorry guys i forgot to change my bitmoji out of her shorts, winter can start now
why❤️ are the results❤️ 57% to 43% ❤️ i feel like this should not be close❤️someone from my hs just put an instagram poll up “do u sneeze with ur mask on or off”
do we still not know what the masks are for i- @Ka_ni_ya @uofcincy these are so powerful i love uc showing off queensgetting ur tonsils out is all fun and games til the people in the park walk by and say goodmorning to u and u try t… https://t.co/pbKJcteAKu
somebody drop kick my ass to new york city
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spotify wrapped but it tells me how many times i watched new girl this year
I want hot chocolate and love
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if elise isnt hacking my phone to play sweet home alabama i dont want it https://t.co/OJpxEpb0nCi don’t think i’ll ever listen to music without jenna again
Retweeted by fizzhi elise @lilyyyyrose_ see why did this get blocked from everyones mind it was incredible

everyone ignores when new girl and brooklyn nine nine overlapped for one episode
i however think about it once a day to keep stable
@slutsaxk ill be back next week so u better step upFUCK OFF U FUNNY BITCH https://t.co/I4U5zPZPof
Retweeted by fizz @slutsaxk sometimes i can still hear her voice ❤️i wish i could say the same 💔 https://t.co/tu0vnYL2V1its okay for your spotify wrapped 2020 not to be okayif anyone wants to get me a christmas gift i am a simple woman https://t.co/C6aHRCS2CE

rats on gingerbread house. https://t.co/2pXtqMXBtWif you just looked out your window to watch me take literally 5 steps out of my apartment, slip on the ice, crawl o… https://t.co/3UDSYjmzb3 @ayefisher yeah imagine u go to check out on cyber monday and thats what u have to cope with
18 + 29 equalling 47 is absolutely infuriating to me2020 is fine now https://t.co/zwpq9ox9b3
@slutsaxk thank god @annaclaireeeeee i HATED this for u more than anything omgspent the whole pandemic feeling okay ab not attending any concerts bc my last one was the jonas brothers and that'… https://t.co/ZrVMH9e49N
Holy shit. If Rudolph has to wear a mask then according to the CDC it has to go over his nose which will make it h… https://t.co/JAg0JPqdej
Retweeted by fizzThanks for all the love. Can’t get rid of me that easy. See ya next year✊
Retweeted by fizzif anyone needs me - dont. https://t.co/y2Vp7EcjpF


@ayefisher so what im hearing is i should start a podcast“we could cure all the worlds issues with the power of jojo siwa” - a real quote you will get listening to her talk… https://t.co/IgFxusc84a
Retweeted by fizzi should start a podcast so my friends can choose when to listen to me talk about nothingid do anything to go to another jonas brothers concert

@slutsaxk thats impressive actually that im that high up for not being here ur right @slutsaxk i will do what it takes to make it to ring 1not being famous is so exhausting lately does anyone wanna go become famous w memeanwhile 7 year old jenna watching camp rock is wildly disappointed i dont have my shane grey yet https://t.co/Iu1fOq6o3Q
i cant wait for when im old and david dobrik will be the main late night talk show host