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Momager. Avid podcast listener. Professional napper. Pokemon trainer. Mudblood.

580 Following   645 Followers   54,286 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/5/09


True nevaeh is a place on htrae
10/22
2020
Guess it’s time to find a new job for real 😒Our severance pay for being furloughed is a fucking JOKE. They take the average hours you worked monthly for the la… https://t.co/7GfX9RdWTnI really need to learn to forgive myself and move on from things. Why is it so hard?
10/21
2020
I don’t wanna hype ya, but you a lucky mf if my mean ass like ya.
10/20
2020
Once the picture less profiles with old white lady names come to haunt your tweets about Trump you know you’ve made it @JordanBeckman https://t.co/RSOwjNgXCeI’m gonna delete every semblance of a dating app and just accept that I am one of the few who are better off alone doing my own thing.Men are trash ✌🏼Kirstie alley tweeting about parents and dope while she’s a whole ass Scientologist 😂
10/18
2020
I, too, want someone to climb all over me like a jungle gym. https://t.co/76k7KqcODS @mistachrish Smoked too much need a snack and some water lolLaying in my bed, staring at the ceiling, high as can be, blaring “Just Like A Pill” by P!nk. I know this is some… https://t.co/GVQJnXVmwI
10/17
2020
As did a lot of prisoners for marijuana related “crimes”. And there hasn’t been enough of an outcry about that. So… https://t.co/OXlNWLtgDN-in my @theestallion voice- Real white girl shit!
10/16
2020
Hey, @elonmusk. We heard you like rockets... https://t.co/RhmsfOq7Gp https://t.co/dBISoIvsX1
Retweeted by MaikeruFuck this little house on the prairie bitch https://t.co/0S3lgD97C6storm in his eyes, peace in his smileI run through things so quick. I’ll be 115% into a hobby/game/book series for 2 weeks then I’ll be sick of it and l… https://t.co/z2POpor78a
10/14
2020
Fucking Cardi B is only 28!? @TESOnline @TroyMaxcy Hahahaha yes love this response @TESOnline is there a deadline for getting your free items from the crown store for participating in the antiquaria… https://t.co/G6PypDlD9b
10/13
2020
That’s a whole ass husband right there https://t.co/LuUmuVaDLS @OozaruMatrix Would be awesomeMy dad just answered the phone in public on speaker phone and I scolded him like he was my preteen child 😂 https://t.co/RIdoXfcVOl
10/12
2020
This is it lol my favorite tweet of all time https://t.co/g4JVdqciSD @JordanBeckman Hahaha all that brujeria I guess
10/11
2020
how you gonna say you don’t wanna be perceived but ur still being 🤣
Retweeted by Maikeru @JordanBeckman Hahaha frozen gluten free lobster Mac and cheeseI want to go to Trader Joe’s but I’m like lowkey too backwoods for it. What do I get?? Lady bug seasoning? Hamster… https://t.co/7ae5lcgzal
Retweeted by MaikeruOkay people keep telling me I’m “handsome” and “cute” but if I’m so cute and still single is it my personality yall… https://t.co/c1z41seI5tI missed half a conversation some friends were having and jumped back in to hear “oh yeah I got the edging done, no… https://t.co/VK3EMmB08A
10/10
2020
When he don’t text you all day 🥺
Retweeted by MaikeruThe one I’m wasting time with isn’t listed lol https://t.co/STteqO8uTEOkay discussion and I wanna see how everyone feels: am I weird for walking down two hallways and up some stairs in… https://t.co/IU0qRizZpnThis train ride really has me ready to go on a longer trip somewhere 😂 who’s tryna go?
10/9
2020
How do people listen to this man talk and not get a headache? The repetition and trying to make things sound so goo… https://t.co/jmdDbuI8NFShe’s already put on more of a performance than some of the other girls. Serving white haired comb over realness! https://t.co/o6Vskg9gnmIdk why I thought Megyn Kelly was one of those blonde hoes from the viewOkay now Im bored and can’t sleep 😭 everyone else is passed out I’m just laying in my little train cubby room like https://t.co/02ohrSJw3nCan you believe there are people out there who don’t enjoy getting a massage? @JordanBeckman But, like every other fine cuisine that lets you down after it’s inside you, we keep coming back for more!These bedrooms on the train are legit. 2 little beds, a table, room for your luggage and you can lock this shit dow… https://t.co/LCJFbPnZSh
10/8
2020
It’s all fun and games until you’re 6’ 2” trying to lay completely flat basically anywhereWest Glacier, Montana https://t.co/sjqctt9GGAGood Morning from Montana!Me just the other day opening my browser with onlyfans AND pornhub as frequently visited tabs https://t.co/tTKPtDhDZf
10/7
2020
@mwhelchel7 I’ll text ya! @mwhelchel7 Oh don’t you worry your pretty little head! Every ounce of daylight im gonna be trying to get some good ones!I understand wearing a mask to cover your nose and mouth during a pandemic. But what would one carry to cover up a… https://t.co/ubsu1YrxNYOkay well I’m taking a train all the way across the country and starting in about 15 minutes so get ready for live… https://t.co/RNhXNc1OgCListen, Whataburger and In-N-Out and Five Guys don’t have SHIIIIIIIT on Dicks Diner in Seattle.
10/6
2020
@elijahshortaay This is why you’re my favorite lol. I originally thought “Netflix” but I like “Naruto” wayyyy better lolIjwtcwyapwyhwwwn 😊https://t.co/Z2yWvILh4J
Retweeted by MaikeruThis is jack black on a fake account asking for himself https://t.co/TBFW4ScWHoSalt air. And the rust on your door. I never needed anything more. https://t.co/swut4YD8eF
10/5
2020
Don’t ever forget this- everyone hot is irritating.
Retweeted by Maikeru
10/4
2020
Use the taijin when I’m eatin a mango 🥭Oh shit it's October, time to post some scary images https://t.co/ymJxfT2lwk
Retweeted by MaikeruI promise this happens to me I’m putting you to sleep 💁🏻‍♂️ https://t.co/Umuf0iEyLII’m stressed send me some surprises in my DMs 🤣Well everyone wish me luck on finding another temporary job. Who knows when I’ll be back on an airplane for work now. 🙄October is the best month. No contest.WHY IN HIGH SCHOOL MFS WAS SNEAKING INTO LUNCH PERIODS LIKE IT WAS THE CLUB 🥴🤣
Retweeted by MaikeruHow can ANY adult NOT have respect for Alex Trebek
10/2
2020
A Bipartisan government is NOT how we come together and take care of each other and thrive as a whole.When someone is cute af and then they start talking about politics and ruin the conversation. https://t.co/U8dUp0jTbYSomeone get on this debate stage with a flamethrower and save us all please
9/30
2020
damn it’s gonna starve to death https://t.co/NWC6WmDxBA
Retweeted by MaikeruI would very much like to spend a lot of my money on tattoos.
Retweeted by Maikeru @mwhelchel7 Shit ask them to hire me lmaoGrass pokemon in spring https://t.co/aOH15HRgv0
Retweeted by MaikeruY’all need to stop looking for dick at the gym and go into a GameStop and get you one of those nerdy gamers with one of monster dicks
Retweeted by Maikeru
9/29
2020
WHY is it always bitches with the LEAST lip tryna give some https://t.co/UpJVaeq22l
9/27
2020
Um, yes, excuse me but, why are clavicles kind of attractive? @brainsbroke Hahaha https://t.co/MudOYduuXn1. Tokyo 2. Dublin 3. Prague 4. Edinburgh 5. Kyoto https://t.co/ETPnKdWnFq
9/25
2020
@Wezzels Hahaha idk if I’d make enough!at this point in my week, orgasms are the only thing keeping me sane. 😅
Retweeted by MaikeruWell Laid here with my phone in my hand for 20 minutes and still not asleep Guess I better go smoke againThe best part about disassociating is all of that doesn’t mean anything most of the time 😊No job, my new car I STILL can’t get plates for (been 3 months), had to reschedule training because of COVID AGAIN… https://t.co/8UBsrmRiRPRemember when we were all just mad because she killed Dumbledore? The good ole days.Anybody who gets the chance should probably just go ahead and spit in J.K. Rowling’s facePlayed a lot of Spellbreak tonight. Enjoying it. It’s like Fortnite, but fun.Is calling them “sugar parents” the PC way to say it? Should I just say sugar daddies and mommas? Will they care either way?So what I gotta do to get this ps5 AND this Xbox? Where the sugar parents at?https://t.co/2VyaPhCAO7 @badboychadhoy I feel less lonely with you all here! Lolhttps://t.co/6Wr2haY9Iq
Retweeted by Maikeruwhich is it today 🤔 https://t.co/dRZ7r7Eend
Retweeted by Maikeru @badboychadhoy https://t.co/TaP4AEicaV
9/24
2020
Well I’m sure Trump knows all about what plastic surgery looks like thanks to his wife. https://t.co/SWnze4t4ghIf he hasn’t washed his pillows in ten years you should probably make sure he washes his ass 🤢🤮 https://t.co/SnfsYs7UDHBitches tryna simplify life’s complexities but couldn’t even simplify fractions in schoolEVERYTHING exists on a spectrum. There is no one side or the other to ANYTHING. The world, and humans especially, a… https://t.co/T8AIL1htlL
9/23
2020
Crazy my future husband is out there somewhere probably making a late night snack for the munchies just like I am. Isnt life crazy?
9/22
2020
Coding MySpace at 14 was easy, making my phones aesthetic look amazing at 26 has me fucked up
Retweeted by MaikeruI took a page out of @JordanBeckman “be extra” book and have two costumes for one Halloween party and I feel powerful as fuck.
9/21
2020

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